Written By Orazio
Feb. 6, 2018, 10:12 p.m.(2/17/1008 AR)
The Day of Vows is not long past, and I neglected to write on it. For this, I apologize. It has always been a sacred day for me, above and beyond being a holiday. Limerance is the god of love, and as I recently told someone, love has informed nearly every action of my life.
No, I'm not about to confess to a tragically broken heart that caused me to flee into the Church.
Or perhaps I am. The deaths of my parents, youngest siblings, and so many of the people I knew did break my heart. It seemed pointless and cruel. An undeserved punishment from cruel gods - or proof that no gods existed at all. In the aftermath of those deaths, in the depths of my heartbreak, I faltered in my duty and my love. I failed in my fidelity, and nearly fell into despair forever.
I won't say any great strength of will or spirit saved me, then. This is not the story of a miracle. It is the story of a struggle. I had to choose between hope and despair, duty and dereliction. And then I had to choose again. And again. And every moment and day since, I have had to make that choice. The only reason I live to write this is because I have made the same choice on the occasion of each morning, and perhaps there is no one who can say for certain that it is the right choice. In fact, I have often thought that the world, and the many people I love, would have been better off had I chosen differently on one of those mornings where it seemed like it would be much easier to simply slip away, and take whatever judgement the Sentinel offered me.
When that choice loomed, it was always to the Pantheon I looked. Not to speak with as people, or to expect to be spoken to in return. But as ideals, and guiding lights on a journey that sometimes seemed very dark. In their light, I asked myself how I might live up to those ideals, and respect the duties I had as a lord, and later as a priest - duties which were rooted in those very ideals. I embraced my vows, and my duties, and my responsibilities. Not just because I believed them to be right, although I do, but because they brought me comfort and purpose.
Perhaps that is its own weakness, to want to see yourself in relation to others, rather than as a creature alone. To see the world in the bonds we make, and what we owe to each other. Perhaps it speaks to a weakness that I could not stand alone without such vows and bonds holding me fast.
It is, then, a weakness I am content with.
No, I'm not about to confess to a tragically broken heart that caused me to flee into the Church.
Or perhaps I am. The deaths of my parents, youngest siblings, and so many of the people I knew did break my heart. It seemed pointless and cruel. An undeserved punishment from cruel gods - or proof that no gods existed at all. In the aftermath of those deaths, in the depths of my heartbreak, I faltered in my duty and my love. I failed in my fidelity, and nearly fell into despair forever.
I won't say any great strength of will or spirit saved me, then. This is not the story of a miracle. It is the story of a struggle. I had to choose between hope and despair, duty and dereliction. And then I had to choose again. And again. And every moment and day since, I have had to make that choice. The only reason I live to write this is because I have made the same choice on the occasion of each morning, and perhaps there is no one who can say for certain that it is the right choice. In fact, I have often thought that the world, and the many people I love, would have been better off had I chosen differently on one of those mornings where it seemed like it would be much easier to simply slip away, and take whatever judgement the Sentinel offered me.
When that choice loomed, it was always to the Pantheon I looked. Not to speak with as people, or to expect to be spoken to in return. But as ideals, and guiding lights on a journey that sometimes seemed very dark. In their light, I asked myself how I might live up to those ideals, and respect the duties I had as a lord, and later as a priest - duties which were rooted in those very ideals. I embraced my vows, and my duties, and my responsibilities. Not just because I believed them to be right, although I do, but because they brought me comfort and purpose.
Perhaps that is its own weakness, to want to see yourself in relation to others, rather than as a creature alone. To see the world in the bonds we make, and what we owe to each other. Perhaps it speaks to a weakness that I could not stand alone without such vows and bonds holding me fast.
It is, then, a weakness I am content with.
Written By Felicia
Feb. 6, 2018, 9:41 p.m.(2/17/1008 AR)
I can't say I've had myself referenced in many journals over the years, let alone by a collection of people in short order.
I'm aware of the difference, between competition and battle, though one can learn something of the other from either. But I'll certainly take to heart the words of his highness; 'In battle discipline wins'. I think those will be very important words to remember, as war creeps closer.
But at the same time, I apologise unreservedly to my team-mates that might have felt my words a slight. They were not intended as such, it's a joy on the battlefield to work with and cross swords with those I do not often get to. Simply that the path towards Gloria is not one I'm ever likely to consider mastered.
I'm aware of the difference, between competition and battle, though one can learn something of the other from either. But I'll certainly take to heart the words of his highness; 'In battle discipline wins'. I think those will be very important words to remember, as war creeps closer.
But at the same time, I apologise unreservedly to my team-mates that might have felt my words a slight. They were not intended as such, it's a joy on the battlefield to work with and cross swords with those I do not often get to. Simply that the path towards Gloria is not one I'm ever likely to consider mastered.
Written By Gwenna
Feb. 6, 2018, 9:34 p.m.(2/17/1008 AR)
I did a bit of painting today, which was the first time I've done so since coming to Arx. I needed to put my mind to something that wasn't duty for a bit and had been mulling on a small gift for a while now anyhow, so time just worked in favor of that. I had nearly forgotten how wonderful it is to play with color, trying different combinations, smearing the bright ones together to see what happens. It felt good, and doubly so as I was pretty happy with the end result. I need to do this more often.
Written By Calypso
Feb. 6, 2018, 8:07 p.m.(2/17/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Kael
I am very pleased to note that today Count Kael Keaton agreed to accept my offer of patronage.
I have been searching for someone with a keen tactical mind, who is willing to learn and grow. But also someone who is willing to challenge me when it comes to matters of the defense of the Compact. Count Kael has more than proved his ability in all of the above to me and I am very happy to be formally aligned with him.
I have been searching for someone with a keen tactical mind, who is willing to learn and grow. But also someone who is willing to challenge me when it comes to matters of the defense of the Compact. Count Kael has more than proved his ability in all of the above to me and I am very happy to be formally aligned with him.
Written By Vano
Feb. 6, 2018, 8:02 p.m.(2/17/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Roran
Sometimes, there can be too much change. To the point where you're unable to handle it any longer.
Like for my clan, the past year. There has been enough change I would think.
But, I'm more than aware that there is more to come.
Change occurs too much, it can drive a person mad. It can, and will, break you.
Like for my clan, the past year. There has been enough change I would think.
But, I'm more than aware that there is more to come.
Change occurs too much, it can drive a person mad. It can, and will, break you.
Written By Emily
Feb. 6, 2018, 7:14 p.m.(2/17/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Felix
An extraordinary hand at crafting, Heartwood came out better than I could have hoped. Not only a skilled craftsman but a helpful soul; Master Felix is someone I enjoy the company of.
Written By Emily
Feb. 6, 2018, 7:10 p.m.(2/17/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Jessa
I love my sister and I hope that she soon finds that she belongs here just as much as everyone else. So long at Greyridge without our extended family and we are finally here. I think she will prove to a great asset for the family. Until that moment I will make it feel like home as much as I can including bothering you for nephews and nieces and smothering you in sisterly love.
Written By Roran
Feb. 6, 2018, 6:26 p.m.(2/17/1008 AR)
Even I am in need of something different.
I have a deep affinity for felines. I confess this, as if it were not already a known thing. It's not uncommon to see my robes coated in the fur of some stray that has taken to following me. Or a kitten in need of nursing somewhere in a pocket. There's no less than two or three curled up with me on my bed at night. I share my breakfast with them, my walks with them. I will confess that I at times perhaps, love them more than I love people and we all know that I quite love people and their myriad of facets.
A falcon? Very different. The Duchess Calypso has been gracious in lending me her companion and another has offered her mice when I am not playing companion to some majestic creature such as this impressive Ryder.
So I write this plea. While I am not indeed a zookeeper but I do herd cats from time to time, let me spend the day with your companions so that I can better see why you enjoy them and what peace and growth they bring to you as a person and their boon companion.
I have a deep affinity for felines. I confess this, as if it were not already a known thing. It's not uncommon to see my robes coated in the fur of some stray that has taken to following me. Or a kitten in need of nursing somewhere in a pocket. There's no less than two or three curled up with me on my bed at night. I share my breakfast with them, my walks with them. I will confess that I at times perhaps, love them more than I love people and we all know that I quite love people and their myriad of facets.
A falcon? Very different. The Duchess Calypso has been gracious in lending me her companion and another has offered her mice when I am not playing companion to some majestic creature such as this impressive Ryder.
So I write this plea. While I am not indeed a zookeeper but I do herd cats from time to time, let me spend the day with your companions so that I can better see why you enjoy them and what peace and growth they bring to you as a person and their boon companion.
Written By Joscelin
Feb. 6, 2018, 6:07 p.m.(2/17/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Behtuk
One of our newest members, Behtuk's work at the Northern Bladeworks takes my breath away. He might not see it himself, but the artistry he puts in his creations makes his weaponry more akin to fine art you'd display on your wall. That it can also be so functional and deadly... well. It's impressive. If you haven't yet, you should go by his shop and see for yourself.
Written By Calypso
Feb. 6, 2018, 6:05 p.m.(2/17/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Roran
Ryder, my falcon, came with me from Southport when I arrived a little over three years ago. We use raptors for hunting, message delivery, and to some extent, even scouting. Ryder has become an extension of my very person at this point. Maybe of you might recognize his red feathers around the city!
I decided to embrace change. I have sent my constant companion off for a day of adventures with Archlector Roran. It has been a strange feeling, not having my companion at my side. But in an effort to embrace change and try something new, I am very glad I accepted his challenge.
I encourage you to do the same. There is something amusing to me about the thought of Archlector Roran embracing his own moment of change in becoming a temporary zoo-keeper.
I decided to embrace change. I have sent my constant companion off for a day of adventures with Archlector Roran. It has been a strange feeling, not having my companion at my side. But in an effort to embrace change and try something new, I am very glad I accepted his challenge.
I encourage you to do the same. There is something amusing to me about the thought of Archlector Roran embracing his own moment of change in becoming a temporary zoo-keeper.
Written By Alis
Feb. 6, 2018, 1:10 p.m.(2/17/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Roran
I am not sure I welcome change anymore, though I also no longer feel a gut clenching fear at the thought of it. Sometimes change is eagerly sought, and sometimes it comes unwelcome and unbidden and in ill circumstance. In all cases, I think one needs to be adaptable more than they need to embrace or fear it. You can choose to learn and grow from change. Or, you can choose to become bitter and hateful and lash out at those around you. I prefer to try to learn and grow, regardless how I feel about the change itself.
So I suppose you could say I feel neither welcome or fear at this point, only acceptance.
So I suppose you could say I feel neither welcome or fear at this point, only acceptance.
Written By Brogan
Feb. 6, 2018, 12:46 p.m.(2/17/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Sigurd
Sigurd!
Damn glad to see you back in the City, Nephew. I've got to say that you've picked up right where you left off, and a night of drinking is exactly how I wanted to spend your first day back. We've got many more Taverns to see, and people to meet ... likely trouble to cause, but hopefully not too much for Lydia.
You know if you need anything from me I'll be there straight away. You, Lydia, and Mydas carry much on your shoulders, but you don't need to do it between the three of you. Plenty of us are ready and willing to help. Don't be stubborn... at least this way.
Damn glad to see you back in the City, Nephew. I've got to say that you've picked up right where you left off, and a night of drinking is exactly how I wanted to spend your first day back. We've got many more Taverns to see, and people to meet ... likely trouble to cause, but hopefully not too much for Lydia.
You know if you need anything from me I'll be there straight away. You, Lydia, and Mydas carry much on your shoulders, but you don't need to do it between the three of you. Plenty of us are ready and willing to help. Don't be stubborn... at least this way.
Written By Fortunato
Feb. 6, 2018, 12:31 p.m.(2/17/1008 AR)
There is also great joy in change. Joy and wonder beyond describing. You are on the river, you look back and look at how far you've come. At all you've seen. All you've learned to be.
But you must acknowledge the fear and the difficulty, because you must change not despite it, but because of it. Fear is excitement and anticipation as much as dread. Fear need not war with desire. It can feed it. Well. Enough. I can talk forever about change.
But you must acknowledge the fear and the difficulty, because you must change not despite it, but because of it. Fear is excitement and anticipation as much as dread. Fear need not war with desire. It can feed it. Well. Enough. I can talk forever about change.
Written By Aureth
Feb. 6, 2018, 11:40 a.m.(2/17/1008 AR)
It is human to fear what we do not know, but all things must end so that they may begin anew. I don't know that it is possible to truthfully avoid the fear of change. To embrace it despite of our fears, owning them, is the beginning of progress.
But only the beginning.
But only the beginning.
Written By Fortunato
Feb. 6, 2018, 10:50 a.m.(2/17/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Roran
Change is terrifying. Why wouldn't it be? You're swept up in upheaval and must learn to swim in new waters. You make a choice and must change yourself to make it. Every choice is opportunity lost, every change is a molding of the self that may fluctuate tomorrow. Change is the grasping of chaos and shaping it into growth. It is not certainty, it is not safety. Neither exist. It's meet to be terrified. But it's also appropriate to realize the alternative is much more frightening.
I am old enough to have life I regret wasting. The river is fearful. But to stand on the shore and watch it pass is to disappear from your own life.
I am old enough to have life I regret wasting. The river is fearful. But to stand on the shore and watch it pass is to disappear from your own life.
Written By Ann
Feb. 6, 2018, 10:16 a.m.(2/16/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Roran
We must embrace it, of course - those who are unable to trust change have no hope of ever transcending. Stasis is not the nature of the world we embrace.
Written By Itzal
Feb. 6, 2018, 10:09 a.m.(2/16/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Roran
How could one not? Life without change would be madness. Imagine the boredom, to be stuck to do the same thing, to be the same thing, over and over?
Written By Jael
Feb. 6, 2018, 10:09 a.m.(2/16/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Felicia
What High Lord Edain says is true. And while I may or may not be able to claim discipline on the field, I assure you, you will never see me out there in no armor at all.
Team Blue Forever!
Team Blue Forever!
Written By Thena
Feb. 6, 2018, 10:06 a.m.(2/16/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Preston
You have obviously never heard me sing.
Written By Roran
Feb. 6, 2018, 9:59 a.m.(2/16/1008 AR)
Do you embrace change?
Or do you fear change?
Or do you fear change?
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.