Written By Joscelin
Nov. 12, 2017, 2:32 p.m.(7/26/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Alaric
Written By Mae
Nov. 12, 2017, 1:51 p.m.(7/26/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Aislin
Not lately. He's been a very good Magpie.
Written By Aislin
Nov. 12, 2017, 1:37 p.m.(7/26/1007 AR)
Either way, it's nice to see that ancient historical traditions are still kept alive.
Written By Talen
Nov. 12, 2017, 12:57 p.m.(7/26/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Eleyna
Written By Kael
Nov. 12, 2017, 12:43 p.m.(7/26/1007 AR)
Written By Khanne
Nov. 12, 2017, 12:37 p.m.(7/26/1007 AR)
And now, I wish that it were less often.
Written By Mia
Nov. 12, 2017, 12:29 p.m.(7/26/1007 AR)
My fellow citizens of the Compact, be forewarned: Any time you ask that sort of thing, there's a high probability that the reply you receive will be "We've no idea, but now that you've mentioned it, we'll send you to find it."
Written By Eleyna
Nov. 12, 2017, 12:23 p.m.(7/26/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Talen
Written By Marian
Nov. 12, 2017, 12:23 p.m.(7/26/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Talen
Written By Talen
Nov. 12, 2017, 12:22 p.m.(7/26/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Marian
Written By Marian
Nov. 12, 2017, 12:21 p.m.(7/26/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Eleyna
Written By Marian
Nov. 12, 2017, 12:19 p.m.(7/26/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Katarina
Written By Talen
Nov. 12, 2017, 12:18 p.m.(7/26/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Alarissa
None greater than Grayson gone too far.
Just come for dinner, I promise you our wine is better.
Written By Marian
Nov. 12, 2017, 11:57 a.m.(7/26/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Reigna
Written By Marian
Nov. 12, 2017, 11:46 a.m.(7/26/1007 AR)
Of course, my life has changed greatly since those early days and my circle has grown greatly. I have forged deep bonds that still carry me in my darker days. Regardless of those ties, I still find comfort sometimes in the quiet support of a chapel and the open ear of a priest who can listen. Sometimes one just needs an outlet to go to. So, my advise is don't look for answers, look for understanding. And listen. I fear that many of us do more talking than listening these days. We need to be better about that.
Written By Reigna
Nov. 12, 2017, 11:45 a.m.(7/26/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Edain
Written By Reigna
Nov. 12, 2017, 11:39 a.m.(7/26/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Bianca
Written By Reigna
Nov. 12, 2017, 11:33 a.m.(7/26/1007 AR)
It is... *the word difficult has been crossed out and replaced with* challenging, some times. There are three infants in my house right now. Squall, of course, at less than two weeks, Kata who Eliza -- our nurse -- and I estimate to be eight months old and Eliza's son, Orrin who is eleven months old. It is, in a way, like looking into Squall's future. Seeing the milestones ahead. But the challenge is in managing my heart. How do I watch these precious children, Kata, especially, and not form a familial bond with them? When we found Kata she was so thin and ill I worried we might lose her. Before Princess Alis sent her nurse over until we could find Eliza I had to feed Kata myself. And there was a connection born in that act that I cannot shake. Kael and I have discussed things and while, logically I know his vision is right, that it is in no way appropriate for me to cling to a mother's role in Kata's life -- in truth the thought of her calling me mother is unsettling in a way. I feel it dishonors her actual mother who died -- I cannot help but have these occasional flickers of that sentiment. How can I not? She is a charming, sweet soul and I am responsible for her.
I think often of the difficulties that she faces. To be raised in a home and to be family, but not. To have these invisible divisions that keep her other. I fear deeply that I will harm her somehow. Will she resent us for the fact that when she is older she will not be ennobled? That she will be in all senses, a sister to Squall and yet he will be Lord and she not Lady? I struggle with this often, and I do not know what is best. Would it be kinder to send her to Oakhaven to grow away from Arx? But if I do that, how can I be certain she grows knowing that she is loved? A stupid question logically. There are ways, but the heart, I find is not often a logical organ.
If any eyes reading this has the desire to offer their opinion I shall ask my fellow scholars to point me to their whites.
Written By Alarissa
Nov. 12, 2017, 11:30 a.m.(7/26/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Talen
Written By Bianca
Nov. 12, 2017, 11:18 a.m.(7/26/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Damon
I am not often an affectionate woman nor easily turned to an emotional state. Even in my younger days I was this way (to which Mother Mercy Sophie can ruefully attest and I continue to be grateful for her grace and patience), but it wasn't until the passed few years that I found myself adverse to actual physical contact. I have attempted to dissect this alteration in my being and have come to the realization that there was an exact date in which my natural inclination toward the reserved became all the more severe.
9/10/1005 AR, the day of the memorial service for Lord Damon Wyrmguard.
I have not spoken of Damon since that day beyond "thank you" in regards to the numerous condolences granted. It was not as if I wasn't given the opportunity. In specific, I wish to thank Lady Khanne Halfshav, Marquessa Lianne Pravus, Princess Valencia Redrain and of course Princess Sophie Valardin for actively offering an open heart and attentive ear (to which I foolishly rejected at the time). Now, in the hopes of adhereing to my own request to the Compact for documentation, I think it might be time I finally come to terms with his loss.
My parents passed when I was very young and being an only child it was lonely and difficult growing up. That is not to say that Marquis Denis didn't do what he could to ensure I was provided for and felt embraced by my family, but even though Dominique, Damon and Desiree often invited me to come play with them I never quite felt like I belonged. To be honest, I was not an active child in general and I am prone to sunburns so it should be no great surprise I was drawn to books rather than wooden swords.
I would sit beneath the apple tree in the inner courtyard at the Blancbier estate every day and read. That was my form of play time. I remember the first day Damon began joining me.
Uncle Danton had come to visit. If I remember right, it was so that Beaumont could meet some of the more prominent Knights of Blancbier. In any case, Isabeau and Sophie had come along and all of the cousins were running about the halls playing. I remember them running by me through the courtyard a few times in a rumbling cacophony of giggles and stomps. Sophie, no older than four at the time, of course implored me to come play... but even then I rejected my sweetest cousin's invitation.
It was after a few more passes back and forth that to my angsty surprise Damon broke free from the pack and came to confront me. I remember it clear as day.
"Why won't you come play?" He asked, pointing his makeshift stick/sword at me with all the accusation and demand a six year old could muster.
"I want to read." I replied frankly.
"What are you reading?" His tone was agitated, sword tip falling to touch the cobbled ground to be dragged as he moved to sit beside me.
And that is how our friendship began. Every day, Damon would sit with me beneath that tree and read a new story no matter how off-putting I was and eventually my resistance ended and in my acceptance of his diligent company I finally felt a connection to someone. I felt as if I had a brother. Granted, Damon sometimes brought out the worst in me. He was mischevious and sly... and fearless. I can't count the amount of times we were reprimanded for some silly or stupidly dangerous thing we did. He always knew how to convince me. Even when I argued against whatever clever prank he had planned his reply was always the same: "... but won't it make a wonderful story?"
It always did.
I could go on for pages and pages about my surrogate brother/cousin. I love him and I will always love him.
With that, the most prominant emotion I felt the day of his memorial service and long after it was anger. It overwhelmed me. How could he leave me alone? How /dare/ he?
It was the anger that prevented me from speaking to others. I was ashamed of it and that day the part of me that was Damon went into hiding. I had to be strong for my family and for the ventures that Damon had supported. I had to get to work. In locking away that piece of myself I lost the will for social interaction and replaced it with a duty to a greater cause. I do not regret that decision, but I do regret not understanding that the part of me that was born from my friendship with him didn't need to vanish. It was easier that way, yes... but it's not what he would have wanted.
I am still angry about his loss, but moreso my helplessness to prevent it. Looking back I think that was truly what caused my rage, but I was blinded by my pain and indignance to see it. In time that will fade even if the pain of it never truly will.
Today, I choose to release myself from the chains of his loss. I release Damon and his memory... but I know any time a risk arises and I need to choose how to move forward I will hear that white haired little boy ask, "... but won't it make a wonderful story?"
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.