Written By Lianne
March 8, 2021, 3:52 a.m.(1/26/1015 AR)
Relationship Note on Raven
I can say with certainty that a similar choice remains my deepest regret. I haven't seen my friend for years, but I still remember her heartbreak and disdain at my decision. It seems so callous and irrational now, whatever kept me from that better judgment.
All I can hope, aside from wishing my absent friend well, is that I've grown from that foolishness, that I make better decisions now. Gods know I try.
All I can hope, aside from wishing my absent friend well, is that I've grown from that foolishness, that I make better decisions now. Gods know I try.
Written By Lianne
March 7, 2021, 10:42 p.m.(1/26/1015 AR)
I find myself falling a bit behind the last few weeks. I would blame winter, but I know it's grief. I know, too, how easily I can succumb to wallowing. So, instead, a short and assuredly incomplete inventory of good things to keep the gloom from consuming me:
I've taken a patron. She's utterly remarkable. Diligent, persistent, thorough. She believes in the value of recklessness. She recognizes that ignorance is where inquisitiveness begins. She's possessed of both warmth and restraint. I could ask for none better.
I've been well-cared for by friends, including one who heard my anger and answered with such wonderful violence. The art's been buried by a few days' snow now, but I look forward to seeing what comes of it in spring, when it sinks into the wet earth and hides in the grass.
I've divined someone's fortune in bits of broken glass and splintered wood, dead leaves, frayed ribbons and snow. Their future promises nourishment and support, new beginnings and knowledge.
I've danced and feasted and shared art. I've been given poetry and had mine well-received. I've savored a fine port before it spilled. I've taken my letters at fireside and worked through them in quiet, grounding company.
I'm learning to appreciate winter. I'm learning to grow from my grief.
Still, I'm looking forward to spring.
I've taken a patron. She's utterly remarkable. Diligent, persistent, thorough. She believes in the value of recklessness. She recognizes that ignorance is where inquisitiveness begins. She's possessed of both warmth and restraint. I could ask for none better.
I've been well-cared for by friends, including one who heard my anger and answered with such wonderful violence. The art's been buried by a few days' snow now, but I look forward to seeing what comes of it in spring, when it sinks into the wet earth and hides in the grass.
I've divined someone's fortune in bits of broken glass and splintered wood, dead leaves, frayed ribbons and snow. Their future promises nourishment and support, new beginnings and knowledge.
I've danced and feasted and shared art. I've been given poetry and had mine well-received. I've savored a fine port before it spilled. I've taken my letters at fireside and worked through them in quiet, grounding company.
I'm learning to appreciate winter. I'm learning to grow from my grief.
Still, I'm looking forward to spring.
Written By Lianne
Feb. 28, 2021, 8:27 p.m.(1/11/1015 AR)
Relationship Note on Natasha
I am grateful for Princess Natasha Thrax and the Inquisition for their diligence in pursuing the case of my husband's murder to its conclusion, even as the months drew long. Your meticulousness and persistence are appreciated more than you can know.
Even an unsatisfying answer is better than no answer at all.
Even an unsatisfying answer is better than no answer at all.
Written By Lianne
Feb. 22, 2021, 5:24 p.m.(12/27/1014 AR)
Relationship Note on Sina
The last time Archscholar Sina and I spoke at length, I left her company wondering how different my life might've been if she'd held that position when I was nearing the end of my pursuit for Discipleship. Attentive and warm, hers was an easy lead to follow.
We had so much more left to discuss, so much left to do. Some of the threads were mere curiosity that need no immediate tending, but one, at least, demands further action. I hope I'm able to find something worthwhile to do with it.
We had so much more left to discuss, so much left to do. Some of the threads were mere curiosity that need no immediate tending, but one, at least, demands further action. I hope I'm able to find something worthwhile to do with it.
Written By Lianne
Feb. 21, 2021, 9:15 p.m.(12/23/1014 AR)
I've always found grief requires contemplation and space. Not solitude so much as room to let it take whatever shape it will. Tears, stories, silence. Someone to remember meals when hours slip past unnoticed.
Good food has always helped. What can't a cookie soothe at least a little?
The food the other night at La Rosa d'Ebano was more than good, as was the company. Sometimes, perhaps, diverting conversation and dancing may have a place in the process of mourning.
Good food has always helped. What can't a cookie soothe at least a little?
The food the other night at La Rosa d'Ebano was more than good, as was the company. Sometimes, perhaps, diverting conversation and dancing may have a place in the process of mourning.
Written By Lianne
Feb. 13, 2021, 1:08 p.m.(12/6/1014 AR)
Not all secrets need thorough keeping.
Written By Lianne
Feb. 9, 2021, 7:34 a.m.(11/26/1014 AR)
Relationship Note on Sunaia
I do need more climbing trees.
Written By Lianne
Feb. 6, 2021, 9:44 a.m.(11/20/1014 AR)
Relationship Note on Pasquale
I am endlessly surprised at how well my brother understands me. I wonder, lately, how well he knows himself.
Written By Lianne
Feb. 3, 2021, 10:34 a.m.(11/14/1014 AR)
Relationship Note on Orland
You are absolutely correct. It is easy to fall into habits and assume everyone understands what's being discussed. I will be more mindful of my language in the future, and I recommend asking for clarification when anything is ambiguous or unclear.
Written By Lianne
Jan. 29, 2021, 7:34 a.m.(11/4/1014 AR)
Relationship Note on Duarte
Someone important once told me, "You don't have to put it back together the way it was."
We are not what we were. A few pieces salvaged from the wreckage of complicated years, but so much surrendered, so much changed. Whatever we are, whatever we will be, I am glad to have my friend near again.
We are not what we were. A few pieces salvaged from the wreckage of complicated years, but so much surrendered, so much changed. Whatever we are, whatever we will be, I am glad to have my friend near again.
Written By Lianne
Jan. 19, 2021, 7:20 a.m.(10/12/1014 AR)
As a rule of thumb, when faced with the incomprehensible: ask.
Written By Lianne
Jan. 13, 2021, 8:19 a.m.(9/28/1014 AR)
Last night, the conversations which filled Eidolon Gallery were anything but disappointing. I found beauty and hope and grace and challenge and, yes, heaviness and grief. Such magnificent complexity expressed by our guests, inspired by the art. I am so grateful, so glad to have worked with so many fine artists on such a compelling exhibit.
It will remain on display, available to the public, for a season, likely, until a new one is complete. I encourage the curious to consider a visit, to explore the many shades of disappointment on display.
I'd be curious to know your thoughts, which pieces catch your eye or move you in some way.
It will remain on display, available to the public, for a season, likely, until a new one is complete. I encourage the curious to consider a visit, to explore the many shades of disappointment on display.
I'd be curious to know your thoughts, which pieces catch your eye or move you in some way.
Written By Lianne
Jan. 9, 2021, 12:07 a.m.(9/19/1014 AR)
Thank you to all who came out for our ridiculous poetry competition. You were all remarkable, genuinely. I can't recall the last time I had such fun with so many strangers and half-familiar faces. I believe in the mad attempt to mount the harp, the winners did not receive appropriate recognition, and so I draw attention to them here.
Lady Monique Greenmarch performed an extemporaneous piece on nocturnal aquatics with a specific challenge, successfully met, to include seabass. Such terror she inspired!
Guildmaster Apollo Oakwood made masterful art of his stumbling over inappropriate proposals. What intimacy we were permitted to witness! Fine distraction and fitting recovery.
Sloane Starling provided Duchess Khanne's favorite, a piece on toads and nobility, on different kinds of mires. Such a quick wit. You should all send her poetry. She deserves it.
Savio, whose surname I missed, merits honorable mention not merely for his brilliant introduction, but for that extemporaneous piece atop the harp. Clever.
You were all such fine company, every last one of you in attendance. I am grateful to have my home thus warmed and my heart thus lightened. Thank you.
And thank you to my fellow judges and cohosts who kept things absurd on one side and earnest on the other. How well we all balance, my friends. I love you both dearly.
Lady Monique Greenmarch performed an extemporaneous piece on nocturnal aquatics with a specific challenge, successfully met, to include seabass. Such terror she inspired!
Guildmaster Apollo Oakwood made masterful art of his stumbling over inappropriate proposals. What intimacy we were permitted to witness! Fine distraction and fitting recovery.
Sloane Starling provided Duchess Khanne's favorite, a piece on toads and nobility, on different kinds of mires. Such a quick wit. You should all send her poetry. She deserves it.
Savio, whose surname I missed, merits honorable mention not merely for his brilliant introduction, but for that extemporaneous piece atop the harp. Clever.
You were all such fine company, every last one of you in attendance. I am grateful to have my home thus warmed and my heart thus lightened. Thank you.
And thank you to my fellow judges and cohosts who kept things absurd on one side and earnest on the other. How well we all balance, my friends. I love you both dearly.
Written By Lianne
Jan. 3, 2021, 10:49 p.m.(9/9/1014 AR)
Some questions are simultaneously so vast and so specific that finding words to suit them seems impossible. What, then, am I to ask now that I know where to find those with answers?
Written By Lianne
Dec. 30, 2020, 7:24 a.m.(8/28/1014 AR)
It is an incomparable pleasure to meet with brilliant individuals, discuss difficult topics and walk away with a workable solution. I am genuinely blessed to have such remarkable people in my life, and I am eager to see the work we've begun put into practice.
Written By Lianne
Dec. 27, 2020, 12:03 p.m.(8/22/1014 AR)
Relationship Note on Venturo
With recent tragedy weighing so heavily, it is unspeakably therapeutic to have something bright on the horizon. The recent report from Venturo on Port Venture's progress to date and the development projects already underway have lifted my spirits considerably. I am so proud of what he's achieved and so eager to see what we're able to build together. Six years of collaboration, and it feels like we still have so much ahead of us.
I might even, in only this one obviously emotional moment, find myself inclined to call myself lucky.
I might even, in only this one obviously emotional moment, find myself inclined to call myself lucky.
Written By Lianne
Dec. 19, 2020, 8:46 a.m.(8/6/1014 AR)
It has been accurately observed that I only befriend contradictions, questions and thieves.
My husband was a contradiction. The rest of you may sort yourselves.
My husband was a contradiction. The rest of you may sort yourselves.
Written By Lianne
Dec. 17, 2020, 8:08 a.m.(8/2/1014 AR)
Relationship Note on Valerius
Joy arrived with fear, in word if not deed,
a nicety providing entry into other ideas:
what does it mean to drown? Breathlessness
came later, two years of captive attention
before any boundary was breached.
How long had I watched the waves
without worrying about their gravity,
without noticing how I'd been pulled
in, under?
Captive to
your tides
for years,
six more,
blissful,
sinking &
suddenly:
darkness,
emptiness
down here
where you
left me--
so cold without your sunlight.
a nicety providing entry into other ideas:
what does it mean to drown? Breathlessness
came later, two years of captive attention
before any boundary was breached.
How long had I watched the waves
without worrying about their gravity,
without noticing how I'd been pulled
in, under?
Captive to
your tides
for years,
six more,
blissful,
sinking &
suddenly:
darkness,
emptiness
down here
where you
left me--
so cold without your sunlight.
Written By Lianne
Dec. 2, 2020, 7:55 a.m.(6/28/1014 AR)
I woke to find the sky had one less star than I remember.
Did it disappear while I was sleeping or did I dream a different sky?
Did it disappear while I was sleeping or did I dream a different sky?
Written By Lianne
Nov. 23, 2020, 10:46 a.m.(6/10/1014 AR)
Relationship Note on Venturo
If there is one thing I might say about my protege's luck, it is that he's fortunate I did not press him about the puppy. I heard there was a puppy rescued from that fire, Venturo, and yet the tower remains without. Tell me, at least, that it went to a good home?
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.