Written By Victus
Feb. 19, 2017, 9:11 p.m.(12/14/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Donella
Donella is competent, smart, witty and capable of facing her fears with stoic determination. Courage, priest, is not the absence of fear. Only fools never fear and never doubt. Courage is moving forward even when your blood is turning to ice and your stomach is a stone, and every instinct screams at you that you should run away and cower, that you should give up. It is too dangerous! It is too difficult!
Bah.
Where was I? Ah. Donella. I admire my kinswoman. I respect her. And I made her a promise, once, one I plan to keep.
Bah.
Where was I? Ah. Donella. I admire my kinswoman. I respect her. And I made her a promise, once, one I plan to keep.
Written By Victus
Feb. 19, 2017, 5:10 p.m.(12/14/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Calliope
Proving to be more useful than expected, even if she gulled me into dancing with her at the Masque. Though I'd met her in the past while doing business with her father, I'd never paid her much attention before. She is nothing like Duke Eugeine Grimhall, however. That is undeniably a compliment.
Not that, I'll admit, it takes much to improve on that standard.
She has my ear, for now.
Not that, I'll admit, it takes much to improve on that standard.
She has my ear, for now.
Written By Victus
Feb. 19, 2017, 5:06 p.m.(12/14/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Gabriel
We have a new Regent.
He was the safe choice, the proven and experienced choice. There's nothing wrong with being the safe fucking choice. When a storm is bearing down on you, its only rational to put the experienced hands on the tiller.
Here's to him living up to his fucking reputation.
He was the safe choice, the proven and experienced choice. There's nothing wrong with being the safe fucking choice. When a storm is bearing down on you, its only rational to put the experienced hands on the tiller.
Here's to him living up to his fucking reputation.
Written By Victus
Feb. 14, 2017, 4:09 p.m.(12/4/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Nadia
I was taught, and I've believed, that women had no place on a battlefield.
I suppose I still believe that. But whether they're supposed to be there or not, I won't deny that some of them are capable, more capable than a lot of men I know. Nadia Nightgold was one of them. We'd play our war games into the night, and she'd beat me more often than not. She taught me a thing or two, which is fucking rare.
I could say she shouldn't have been there, and that being there got her killed, and I'd be fucking right.
But she also fought with heart, and determination, and courage. And it would be a petty man who couldn't respect and honor that on its own merits. She died a worthy warrior's death, and she'll stand a worthy warrior in my memory.
I'll be drinking to Nadia Nightgold tonight. I lost a friend, and I'm not a man who makes them easy.
I suppose I still believe that. But whether they're supposed to be there or not, I won't deny that some of them are capable, more capable than a lot of men I know. Nadia Nightgold was one of them. We'd play our war games into the night, and she'd beat me more often than not. She taught me a thing or two, which is fucking rare.
I could say she shouldn't have been there, and that being there got her killed, and I'd be fucking right.
But she also fought with heart, and determination, and courage. And it would be a petty man who couldn't respect and honor that on its own merits. She died a worthy warrior's death, and she'll stand a worthy warrior in my memory.
I'll be drinking to Nadia Nightgold tonight. I lost a friend, and I'm not a man who makes them easy.
Written By Victus
Feb. 8, 2017, 5:19 p.m.(11/19/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Aldwin
He lifted the excommunication on Donella. That by itself would've made me think well of him. But we had a talk, sometime past, that left me with a positive impression.
The Faith will choose what Dominus they will, regardless of my fucking approval.
Still, I approve.
The Faith will choose what Dominus they will, regardless of my fucking approval.
Still, I approve.
Written By Victus
Feb. 5, 2017, 11:23 a.m.(11/9/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Leona
Leona Thrax has long been unwelcome in my family. She made a choice once to defy my Lord Uncle, the Prince of Maelstrom, and there are and have been consequences to that.
But he has passed, and done is done, and oaths were sworn that cannot be easily broken.
And ultimately I find that I would have had a greater contempt for an oathbreaker cousin than I do a girl who ran off to be a knight and excelled at it.
So while I did not approve of her choice then, and still do not, she is my kin by blood and she is no longer unwelcome as far as I am concerned.
But he has passed, and done is done, and oaths were sworn that cannot be easily broken.
And ultimately I find that I would have had a greater contempt for an oathbreaker cousin than I do a girl who ran off to be a knight and excelled at it.
So while I did not approve of her choice then, and still do not, she is my kin by blood and she is no longer unwelcome as far as I am concerned.
Written By Victus
Jan. 29, 2017, 8:10 p.m.(10/17/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Julea
That weapon she made was like nothing I have ever seen made by a modern hand. Diamondplate is notoriously difficult to make, let alone turn into a perfect instrument of death. It surpasses most of the heirloom weapons I've seen in the hands of Ducal Houses, weapons a centuries old and which carry the honor of a whole House.
I don't know her, or most of anything about her, but I know that someone who can do that has rare fucking gift.
One I am inclined to respect.
I don't know her, or most of anything about her, but I know that someone who can do that has rare fucking gift.
One I am inclined to respect.
Written By Victus
Jan. 29, 2017, 4:23 p.m.(10/17/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Dagon
My cousin was the Designated Heir to Donrai Thrax. For most of his life he believed that he would take over our House and guide it onto a different path. Who knows, perhaps he still will.
But not yet. I won't go into my reasons. Ultimately they matter little beyond the fact I did what I did, and it is now done.
I challenged his right to rule and he accepted. This is the Thrax way. He fought me in the Courtyard outside the Thrax Estate here in Arx, and I defeated him. Though he lost, I admire that he had the courage to face me himself rather than seek a fucking Champion to stand in his stead, and I admire that he never once yielded. In the end I have more respect for him now than I did when I uttered the challenge.
He still lost, though. And while he ultimately swore his arm to me, and I accepted his oath, I expect that was not easy.
It never is, having your path redirected towards an unfamiliar future.
But not yet. I won't go into my reasons. Ultimately they matter little beyond the fact I did what I did, and it is now done.
I challenged his right to rule and he accepted. This is the Thrax way. He fought me in the Courtyard outside the Thrax Estate here in Arx, and I defeated him. Though he lost, I admire that he had the courage to face me himself rather than seek a fucking Champion to stand in his stead, and I admire that he never once yielded. In the end I have more respect for him now than I did when I uttered the challenge.
He still lost, though. And while he ultimately swore his arm to me, and I accepted his oath, I expect that was not easy.
It never is, having your path redirected towards an unfamiliar future.
Written By Victus
Jan. 29, 2017, 3:34 p.m.(10/17/1005 AR)
I have lived a life where I made it my core ethos that any act done in the name of, and by order of, Donrai Thrax, was an act for the greater good of Thrax. That no matter how gruesome the count in bodies and misery, and perhaps the damage done to my own soul, doing so ultimately prevented greater evil. That, by my deeds, more people lived safely, that my family was stronger, that my House was more secure.
I still believe that some ends justify the means. I believe that shying away from a hard choice to protect some intangible ideal is a weakness. A selfish act that makes men and women feel good about themselves, even as they allow terrible things to happen, all the while excusing their culpability as 'I could have done no more'.
But I'm no longer able to trust in the judgement of my Captain, my Commander, my Admiral or ultimately Donrai Thrax to determine which evil is simply evil, and which serves some greater good of my people. Perhaps I never should have. Of late I have come to think that no man should delegate all of his thinking to another. That we all have to own our choices, and not all loyalty is a virtue.
It is very unsoldier like.
But then I always knew Arx would corrupt me.
I still believe that some ends justify the means. I believe that shying away from a hard choice to protect some intangible ideal is a weakness. A selfish act that makes men and women feel good about themselves, even as they allow terrible things to happen, all the while excusing their culpability as 'I could have done no more'.
But I'm no longer able to trust in the judgement of my Captain, my Commander, my Admiral or ultimately Donrai Thrax to determine which evil is simply evil, and which serves some greater good of my people. Perhaps I never should have. Of late I have come to think that no man should delegate all of his thinking to another. That we all have to own our choices, and not all loyalty is a virtue.
It is very unsoldier like.
But then I always knew Arx would corrupt me.
Written By Victus
Jan. 20, 2017, 8:25 p.m.(9/19/1005 AR)
There is only one High Lord of the Isles. There are no Princes or Princesses except those who bear the name Thrax.
Shit, not even all of us who do get to be so fucking lucky, eh? Heh.
In the Compact there is no House Marin. If there was, it would be a vassal of Thrax, knee bent in our service. As we oh so dutifully serve the fucking Crown in turn.
In the past there have been times of confusion as to this order of things. It didn't lead anywhere good for the vast majority of people involved.
Except for me, of course. I did alright. Got a name, got an axe, got a decent amount of loot. No disaster so disastrous there's not somebody making a profit out of it, eh?
But between you and me, I don't need another name and I don't need another axe. And while nobody is ever too rich, I think I'd rather not go through it again.
Shit, not even all of us who do get to be so fucking lucky, eh? Heh.
In the Compact there is no House Marin. If there was, it would be a vassal of Thrax, knee bent in our service. As we oh so dutifully serve the fucking Crown in turn.
In the past there have been times of confusion as to this order of things. It didn't lead anywhere good for the vast majority of people involved.
Except for me, of course. I did alright. Got a name, got an axe, got a decent amount of loot. No disaster so disastrous there's not somebody making a profit out of it, eh?
But between you and me, I don't need another name and I don't need another axe. And while nobody is ever too rich, I think I'd rather not go through it again.
Written By Victus
Jan. 18, 2017, 4:14 a.m.(9/11/1005 AR)
They should have let him fight.
If he was a Prince worth having, he'd have won. Or at least died with honor.
Gloria watches over the fucking righteous, eh? Heh.
Bah.
If he was a Prince worth having, he'd have won. Or at least died with honor.
Gloria watches over the fucking righteous, eh? Heh.
Bah.
Written By Victus
Jan. 15, 2017, 11:55 a.m.(9/3/1005 AR)
I went to the beach today, after I visited Gloria's Shrine. I walked into the waves and I spoke a prayer to Mangata. I wouldn't want Her to be jealous of my attentions.
I did not ask for anything.
I will not go so far as to call myself a pious man. Too many things matter to me more than the favor of the Gods. But any man (or, I suppose, woman) who has sailed through a proper storm, who has felt Her power course through him and tasted her passion on his lips, knows that She is owed respect and tribute, and only a fool does not give Her what is Her due.
So to you, Mangata most beautiful, I drink this wine in your name.
I did not ask for anything.
I will not go so far as to call myself a pious man. Too many things matter to me more than the favor of the Gods. But any man (or, I suppose, woman) who has sailed through a proper storm, who has felt Her power course through him and tasted her passion on his lips, knows that She is owed respect and tribute, and only a fool does not give Her what is Her due.
So to you, Mangata most beautiful, I drink this wine in your name.
Written By Victus
Jan. 15, 2017, 11:48 a.m.(9/3/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Cassandra
The Archlector of Gloria has tasted the bite of steel, and she wears the mark without shame. I can respect that.
I never spent much time praying to Gloria. My soul belongs to Mangata, it always has. But its only polite to give tribute when you're about to enter someone's house. And was is war if not Gloria's demesne? Especially one that will be fought not on the waves.
I never spent much time praying to Gloria. My soul belongs to Mangata, it always has. But its only polite to give tribute when you're about to enter someone's house. And was is war if not Gloria's demesne? Especially one that will be fought not on the waves.
Written By Victus
Jan. 8, 2017, 6:43 p.m.(8/10/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Dawn
Yes, yes.
I was supposed to marry her. It wasn't exactly a well kept fucking secret. No, I don't need any sympathy.
Staying the course is hard work. Accepting less than ideal circumstances, living with it, making the fucking best out of it, all of it is difficult.
Who wouldn't want to just give the fuck up and make oneself a martyr instead?
I was supposed to marry her. It wasn't exactly a well kept fucking secret. No, I don't need any sympathy.
Staying the course is hard work. Accepting less than ideal circumstances, living with it, making the fucking best out of it, all of it is difficult.
Who wouldn't want to just give the fuck up and make oneself a martyr instead?
Written By Victus
Jan. 8, 2017, 6:04 p.m.(8/10/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Samantha
A thief and a liar and a impostor. To ignore all of that is to make light of all nobility, to declare that none of it actually matters.
I wonder if they understand this.
I wonder if she does.
Regardless, welcome to the fucking nobility.
I wonder if they understand this.
I wonder if she does.
Regardless, welcome to the fucking nobility.
Written By Victus
Jan. 1, 2017, 2:02 p.m.(7/17/1005 AR)
Erlend came with my first command. He was a veteran even back then. There were a dozen different stories about how he'd lost his eye, one more outrageous than the next, and I never learned which one was true.
He didn't much like being stuck taking orders from a bastard ten years his junior. Of all the men in that company, I swear he was the hardest one to win over. My first instinct was to kill him and throw him overboard, but I'm glad I didn't. I'm glad I took the time listen to him, to learn from him, and then to earn his respect and not just his fear. Mostly because Erlend never feared anything, and he might've gutted me just as easily as I might've gutted him.
Erlend wasn't a man you liked. He had a temper and he drank too fucking much, and when he drank he became as mean a man as I've ever known. There's a reason his wife left him for that fat Lycene merchant out of Tor. Even he didn't blame her, except when he was drunk. Then he blamed everybody for everything.
No, you didn't like Erlend. But you could respect and honor him. He had three traits that outweighed all of his deficiencies:
He knew how to fight.
He never showed an ounce of cowardice.
He was absolutely loyal.
So to you, Erlend. May the next stage be of less drink and more fucking happiness.
He didn't much like being stuck taking orders from a bastard ten years his junior. Of all the men in that company, I swear he was the hardest one to win over. My first instinct was to kill him and throw him overboard, but I'm glad I didn't. I'm glad I took the time listen to him, to learn from him, and then to earn his respect and not just his fear. Mostly because Erlend never feared anything, and he might've gutted me just as easily as I might've gutted him.
Erlend wasn't a man you liked. He had a temper and he drank too fucking much, and when he drank he became as mean a man as I've ever known. There's a reason his wife left him for that fat Lycene merchant out of Tor. Even he didn't blame her, except when he was drunk. Then he blamed everybody for everything.
No, you didn't like Erlend. But you could respect and honor him. He had three traits that outweighed all of his deficiencies:
He knew how to fight.
He never showed an ounce of cowardice.
He was absolutely loyal.
So to you, Erlend. May the next stage be of less drink and more fucking happiness.
Written By Victus
Dec. 25, 2016, 10:18 a.m.(6/23/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Costas
The man has a sense of humor. Gotta have a sense of humor about these things. Look at me, I'm all about the fucking laughing.
Competent, too, in that sneaky way where you know you better keep your fucking eyes open.
Or he might just pull that sneak on you.
Competent, too, in that sneaky way where you know you better keep your fucking eyes open.
Or he might just pull that sneak on you.
Written By Victus
Dec. 18, 2016, 10:58 a.m.(6/3/1005 AR)
They have some good ale in the palace. Some real good ale. I suppose it makes sense, though. If you can't get good ale in the palace, where can you?
Anyway, the point is that I'm not quite the fucking pessimist I apparently come across as. I can see the positives, even if I don't necessarily declare them atop of my fucking lungs.
Like the palace having good ale, almost good enough to make up for it being the fucking palace.
And pie. Good pie, too. That cook knows her business.
Anyway, the point is that I'm not quite the fucking pessimist I apparently come across as. I can see the positives, even if I don't necessarily declare them atop of my fucking lungs.
Like the palace having good ale, almost good enough to make up for it being the fucking palace.
And pie. Good pie, too. That cook knows her business.
Written By Victus
Dec. 7, 2016, 11 a.m.(4/26/1005 AR)
What makes some men loyal, others not?
I don't fucking know. I'm not a damn philosopher, I'm not some wordsmith able to fucking elucidate my every thought. Its a question that's been gnawing at me, though.
Look at my life. I've always been loyal. I value fucking loyalty, to my liege above me, to the men beneath me. I'd say I was raised that way, but fuck it, Thrax values strength more than anything. Loyalty comes a distant second, or third, and mostly as a consequence of that strength. Earned the hard way, and lost when its supplanted by weakness.
Perhaps it came out of the Tyde rebellion. My formative fucking years spent wading blood to my knees in that great betrayal. If your enemies are known for one quality, it is natural to frame your fucking identity upon another.
I lied. Apparently I am a philosopher.
Occupational hazard, I guess. What? No, not of being a warrior.
Of being a semi professional drinker.
I don't fucking know. I'm not a damn philosopher, I'm not some wordsmith able to fucking elucidate my every thought. Its a question that's been gnawing at me, though.
Look at my life. I've always been loyal. I value fucking loyalty, to my liege above me, to the men beneath me. I'd say I was raised that way, but fuck it, Thrax values strength more than anything. Loyalty comes a distant second, or third, and mostly as a consequence of that strength. Earned the hard way, and lost when its supplanted by weakness.
Perhaps it came out of the Tyde rebellion. My formative fucking years spent wading blood to my knees in that great betrayal. If your enemies are known for one quality, it is natural to frame your fucking identity upon another.
I lied. Apparently I am a philosopher.
Occupational hazard, I guess. What? No, not of being a warrior.
Of being a semi professional drinker.
Written By Victus
Nov. 28, 2016, 5:21 p.m.(3/28/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Hammar
Saw him handle Anze Redrain like a chewtoy. Imagine if his head hadn't been half caved in and there was something there behind his dull eyes.
Bit of a fucking shame, ain't it?
Not the first man I've met with that condition, give or take a few fucking particulars. If you make your life's work violence, that's just another facet of the job. You risk your limbs and you risk your own fucking self.
Heard someone say they'd rather die than lose themselves like that. What would old Hammar have thought if he saw himself?
Me, I think if I'd still been able to fight and fuck and drink and be happy, I'd settle for a few more years in the world. Was never the brightest man anyway. Was never particularly happy either, come to think of it.
Bit of a fucking shame, ain't it?
Not the first man I've met with that condition, give or take a few fucking particulars. If you make your life's work violence, that's just another facet of the job. You risk your limbs and you risk your own fucking self.
Heard someone say they'd rather die than lose themselves like that. What would old Hammar have thought if he saw himself?
Me, I think if I'd still been able to fight and fuck and drink and be happy, I'd settle for a few more years in the world. Was never the brightest man anyway. Was never particularly happy either, come to think of it.
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