Written By Marian
June 4, 2020, 3:52 p.m.(6/2/1013 AR)
Relationship Note on Fergus
Every birthday of Nia, I read a letter written by my late husband for his daughter. This year she turned six so his words of wisdom were on designing her first steel sword. A fine blade that is more than just training. He gave advice on weighting, a proper pommel and special instructions for the blade master. Each word spoke of his love to her. By the time I choked out the last words, I found the tears in my eyes which I quickly brushed aside so I wouldn't upset her.
A burden of love, to read the words of a man I will never hold in my arms again. I would not forsake this tradition with Nia for the world because these letters are her last connection to him. A way to know this man through his own thoughts. I hope as she grows, she can look at his painting over the mantle and know him.
In the end, she didn't change a thing in his design for her. So from paper to life, that sword now is strapped to side.
A burden of love, to read the words of a man I will never hold in my arms again. I would not forsake this tradition with Nia for the world because these letters are her last connection to him. A way to know this man through his own thoughts. I hope as she grows, she can look at his painting over the mantle and know him.
In the end, she didn't change a thing in his design for her. So from paper to life, that sword now is strapped to side.
Written By Marian
Feb. 12, 2019, 8:26 p.m.(7/22/1010 AR)
Relationship Note on Fergus
Grief.
My washed out tears do not fall.
That lump in my throat strangles.
My marbled skin is cold like ice.
My deepest scars do not show.
I can no longer feel our first kiss.
You are gone.
Grief.
Your chest sits in the corner with the past.
Even your sword has passed to another.
Your clothes that have lost your scent.
Our bed no longer dips from your weight.
They don't know your voice.
Your portrait is a stranger.
Grief.
Everyone else moves on to the next.
The bans are read for new loves.
The cake tastes stale with broken promises.
Their happiness mocks me with mirrored lies.
Pity you didn't get to see what happened next.
They have forgotten.
Grief.
Moving on feels like a dagger in my heart.
My pillow no longer feels wet in the morning.
My eyes don't shine against the starry sky.
Possibilities become steel chains that bind.
False sympathy is an insult that digs softly.
Nothing is more than enough.
Grief.
Don't blame him for leaving.
Don't flinch when they look with his eyes.
Smile when they ask how you're doing.
Good morning is not an invitation to cry.
Don't scratch at your bleeding heart.
Apologies are forsaken.
Grief.
You will never be the same.
Happiness is a thorny rose.
You will wish to trade places.
This wasn't how the story goes.
You will review every single mistake.
No one takes that blame.
My washed out tears do not fall.
That lump in my throat strangles.
My marbled skin is cold like ice.
My deepest scars do not show.
I can no longer feel our first kiss.
You are gone.
Grief.
Your chest sits in the corner with the past.
Even your sword has passed to another.
Your clothes that have lost your scent.
Our bed no longer dips from your weight.
They don't know your voice.
Your portrait is a stranger.
Grief.
Everyone else moves on to the next.
The bans are read for new loves.
The cake tastes stale with broken promises.
Their happiness mocks me with mirrored lies.
Pity you didn't get to see what happened next.
They have forgotten.
Grief.
Moving on feels like a dagger in my heart.
My pillow no longer feels wet in the morning.
My eyes don't shine against the starry sky.
Possibilities become steel chains that bind.
False sympathy is an insult that digs softly.
Nothing is more than enough.
Grief.
Don't blame him for leaving.
Don't flinch when they look with his eyes.
Smile when they ask how you're doing.
Good morning is not an invitation to cry.
Don't scratch at your bleeding heart.
Apologies are forsaken.
Grief.
You will never be the same.
Happiness is a thorny rose.
You will wish to trade places.
This wasn't how the story goes.
You will review every single mistake.
No one takes that blame.
Written By Jaenelle
Sept. 30, 2018, 11:28 p.m.(9/13/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Fergus
Fergus Redrain
We met inside the Redrain Study. It was a fluke, really, a meeting arranged due to the complaints of sisters. Freja and I decided that we would exchange siblings because we always had the greatest ideas when we were together. I am not sure how she fared out regarding Valerius, though I am almost certain she threatened to hit him over the head.
I on the other hand met Fergus, and we talked within that study for hours. He smiled, which I heard was a rare sight at that time, and it was warm and gentle. He was deeper than what he allowed people to see, softer than he wished anyone to understand. He was someone I could speak to about anything, to gauge an honest response regardless of topic. Even after that original meeting, we met often to share a drink when we could before life took hold of both of us, and for those memories I will always have a soft spot for The Spirits.
We met inside the Redrain Study. It was a fluke, really, a meeting arranged due to the complaints of sisters. Freja and I decided that we would exchange siblings because we always had the greatest ideas when we were together. I am not sure how she fared out regarding Valerius, though I am almost certain she threatened to hit him over the head.
I on the other hand met Fergus, and we talked within that study for hours. He smiled, which I heard was a rare sight at that time, and it was warm and gentle. He was deeper than what he allowed people to see, softer than he wished anyone to understand. He was someone I could speak to about anything, to gauge an honest response regardless of topic. Even after that original meeting, we met often to share a drink when we could before life took hold of both of us, and for those memories I will always have a soft spot for The Spirits.
Written By Marian
Jan. 26, 2018, 5:18 p.m.(1/16/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Fergus
I want to thank you for having been in my life. The journey we walked together changed me in many ways. You brought me such joy and happiness. I can say without a doubt that I loved you with every fiber of my being. While you were not my first love, I intended that you would be my last. We did not get to spend enough time together. We parted ways too soon. You gave me a precious gift of life. She will foster. She will grow. When she is old enough to understand the stories I tell her today. She will know her father. My regret is that you had to go before me. Perhaps to pave the way like the one that came before you. While you have rejoined the Wheel, I must continue. I have many miles to walk before I join you.
I'm still here.
I'm still here.
Written By Edain
Jan. 25, 2018, 7:18 a.m.(1/13/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Fergus
I must have started writing this and tore up the page 100 times before finally penning this one, and still I don't know if I have the right words. I still as I put them to paper none of these sound like a suitable tribute, and so, I will just write what I feel.
Fergus, you and I were as different as two men could be. But we became family when and Marian married, though not by blood, but in spirit. Then one day, quite literally in passing, you just looked to me and called me 'brother.' It was just one word in place of goodbye when you and Marian were leaving the manor. The thing about Fergus was that he was a man that could say so much while speaking so little. When he says 'brother' there is a weight to it. It was more than word to Fergus, it was an oath, an affirmation and it settles on your shoulders and you feel that there is a trust that Fergus gives to very few people and it humbled me to hear that word from him.
Somewhere, someone is smiling very smugly right now. They think they have struck a great blow and taken one of our strongest heroes from us. I cannot wait until that smug smile fades, as the slow, cold creeping of dread crawls up the back of their spine like the cold steel poised to sever it. Because they are going to find they could not kill you.
Prince Fergus Redrain, you shall live forever. You will live on the edges of the swords of every Northland warrior you inspired that will fight in your name, ever striving to be warriors that would make you proud. You will live in the memories, the stories and deeds of those who loved you and will continue to carry on your battles. You will live in the laugh of your daughter as she is raised on the legend of the man you are.
I will never be able to cross swords with you, or give awkwardly hug you and cause you to punch me for invading your personal space, but you are still with us.
And you always will be.
Fergus, you and I were as different as two men could be. But we became family when and Marian married, though not by blood, but in spirit. Then one day, quite literally in passing, you just looked to me and called me 'brother.' It was just one word in place of goodbye when you and Marian were leaving the manor. The thing about Fergus was that he was a man that could say so much while speaking so little. When he says 'brother' there is a weight to it. It was more than word to Fergus, it was an oath, an affirmation and it settles on your shoulders and you feel that there is a trust that Fergus gives to very few people and it humbled me to hear that word from him.
Somewhere, someone is smiling very smugly right now. They think they have struck a great blow and taken one of our strongest heroes from us. I cannot wait until that smug smile fades, as the slow, cold creeping of dread crawls up the back of their spine like the cold steel poised to sever it. Because they are going to find they could not kill you.
Prince Fergus Redrain, you shall live forever. You will live on the edges of the swords of every Northland warrior you inspired that will fight in your name, ever striving to be warriors that would make you proud. You will live in the memories, the stories and deeds of those who loved you and will continue to carry on your battles. You will live in the laugh of your daughter as she is raised on the legend of the man you are.
I will never be able to cross swords with you, or give awkwardly hug you and cause you to punch me for invading your personal space, but you are still with us.
And you always will be.
Written By Morrighan
Jan. 24, 2018, 9:52 p.m.(1/12/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Fergus
I remember when we first met, I irritated the shit out of you, when I was just a servant girl who occasionally tailored. Wasn't sure if you didn't hate me for a time at the beginning, but we became good friends. It doesn't seem real that you're gone. Not too long ago you were at the bonfire, tossing hatchets with me, Darren, and the rest, staying up into the late night hours to finish that drinking game. You were so damn proud of yourself for winning that trophy. That's the last memory I have, and I'll keep it close for the rest of my days. I wouldn't be where I am if it wasn't for you. You trained me in the way of the sword, you taught me to fight and formed the foundation of who I am as a warrior. As a knight. I'll take what you taught me and fight on against what's coming, and I'll do everything to keep your family safe. All of Redrain safe. I'll miss you, you surly grump, but I'm so very thankful for everything that you taught me, and hopefully in your next life, we'll meet again.
Written By Darren
Jan. 24, 2018, 9:39 p.m.(1/12/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Fergus
I'm going to miss you cousin, and I am truly sorry you didn't get to fight the war we've got coming. I know your blood burned for that battle. Marian will do well as War Chief, and your kids will be cared for as if they were my own. You have my word.
Written By Artur
Jan. 20, 2018, 6:07 p.m.(1/4/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Fergus
A sketch in charcoal, it's been carefully finished with great attention paid to the light and shading of the piece, demonstrating a considerable level of skill. To those who have been there, it is immediately recognisable as a sketch of the Great Hall of the Redrain Villa, showing many of the family gathered around the large, bear table there. Darren sits at the head of the table, seeming to be in conversation with several other members of the family. The expressions of many are somewhat grim, the discussion obviously of a somewhat serious nature. Seated slightly to the right of Darren, particularly notable is an enormously built, battle scarred man with a mane of long, wildly unkempt hair. Attention seems to have been given to this figure above all others, the level of detail and surpassing the rest of the drawing by some considerable margin.
Beneath the sketch is written "Last known drawing of Prince Fergus Redrain, in the Great Hall of the Redrain Villa on the day of his death. Discussing military matters with other members of his house."
Beneath the sketch is written "Last known drawing of Prince Fergus Redrain, in the Great Hall of the Redrain Villa on the day of his death. Discussing military matters with other members of his house."
Written By Evaine
Jan. 18, 2018, 5:25 p.m.(12/27/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Fergus
Get well soon.
Written By Eilonwy
Jan. 17, 2018, 7:09 p.m.(12/26/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Fergus
I didn't know you well. But I enjoyed the drink we shared. As silks go, you didn't seem the bad sort, it's a shame we didn't get another drink. I don't imagine ye'd have been the sorts to make friends with the likes of me, but it was good company. Like so many others, yours is a name I'll carry with me.
Written By Alis
Jan. 17, 2018, 6:59 p.m.(12/26/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Fergus
I have so much I want to say. But, I can only bring myself to write this short thing.
Both you and your brother Anze have helped fill a gaping void that was there in the absence of Valen and Vance. And now, you are gone too. There is nobody else I will allow to call me short-stack and somehow feel honored by it.
I miss you, and hearing you call me affectionately stupid nicknames.
Both you and your brother Anze have helped fill a gaping void that was there in the absence of Valen and Vance. And now, you are gone too. There is nobody else I will allow to call me short-stack and somehow feel honored by it.
I miss you, and hearing you call me affectionately stupid nicknames.
Written By Eirene
Jan. 16, 2018, 4:02 p.m.(12/23/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Fergus
Now I really regret our last interaction is me telling him to suck a donkey. I owe him a drink, someday.
Written By Valery
Jan. 16, 2018, 12:19 p.m.(12/23/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Fergus
If what the other servants are murmuring at the Villa is true...
Well, those are really bad news.
Scary ones.
Well, those are really bad news.
Scary ones.
Written By Fatima
Jan. 16, 2018, 7:02 a.m.(12/23/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Fergus
It was late, and I was trying in vain to learn to use a dagger at the training center. Fergus arrived with his baby, Nia, saying she was fussy and he takes her for walks so Marian can sleep. I didn't know him well, but it seems proper to share a memory of the man, and this will stick with me as part of his character.
Written By Eirene
Jan. 14, 2018, 11:25 a.m.(12/19/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Fergus
I could respond in a messenger but since he did so in the journals I'm fucking obliged to respond the same.
Go suck a donkey and charge a silver for admission. I'm too busy to get drunk.
THAT IS MY LIFE RIGHT NOW.
Go suck a donkey and charge a silver for admission. I'm too busy to get drunk.
THAT IS MY LIFE RIGHT NOW.
Written By Mydas
Jan. 14, 2018, 1:11 a.m.(12/18/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Fergus
Don't make me take out the vodka again.
Written By Alis
Nov. 6, 2017, 8:19 p.m.(7/15/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Fergus
Don't be a sword hog, Fergus!
Written By Edain
Nov. 6, 2017, 3:55 p.m.(7/14/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Fergus
If it's any consolation I still use you as a threat when you and Princess Marian are visiting.
Written By Thena
Sept. 21, 2017, 1:49 p.m.(4/4/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Fergus
Ah, right, complacency. That always solves things.
Written By Rymarr
Sept. 13, 2017, 4:48 p.m.(3/16/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Fergus
It was drawn to my attention that a question was presented to me recently, in a journal entry. An answer seems necessary.
No.
No.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.