Written By Audric
Nov. 24, 2017, 1:05 a.m.(8/21/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Caprice
Does Jayus dictate how a pair of really good pants cradles and emphasizes my bits, and keeps them properly padded and not stuck to my thigh? Because if so, maybe I'll reconsider my lack of devotion.
Written By Audric
Nov. 22, 2017, 4:26 a.m.(8/17/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Ainsley
Does this mean someone else will be there to pull her ass out of the fire the next time she gets into trouble? My bill's getting extensive.
Written By Audric
Nov. 20, 2017, 2:16 a.m.(8/13/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Carita
'What ifs' are a useless exercise best kept to the folks who prefer to think of how to make the world perfect. Decisions are made knowing how things are when they're made, not if made in a perfect world. Conviction does not equal justification or freedom from guilt. Sometimes, a leader needs to know when to stand up and say, yeah, I fucked up real bad. Not 'I threw my vassal under a wagon in a vain attempt to make me look like slightly less of a turd'.
Written By Audric
Nov. 16, 2017, 10:54 p.m.(8/7/1007 AR)
Let it never be said that I tolerate poor behavior amongst the Few. Or, rather, let it never be said that I tolerate poor behavior that gets caught. If you're going to misbehave, at least be good enough at it that I don't have to hang you for it. I swear, if that's what they're getting caught at, you just never know what someone's -really- up to. Anyway, moral of the story, be good enough to not get caught. Rule Number... um... I forget what my last number was. Let's say nine. So that's rule ten of being a sellsword.
Written By Audric
Nov. 12, 2017, 7:44 p.m.(7/26/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Fortunato
The trick is to always word things -just so- so that you leave yourself some wiggle room. A good promise should have an easy out for both sides.
Written By Audric
Nov. 9, 2017, 1:59 a.m.(7/19/1007 AR)
I see you. I hope you read these. Scholar, do me a favor, and make sure that this next part is very large.
I'm coming.
I'm coming.
Written By Audric
Nov. 8, 2017, 4:16 p.m.(7/18/1007 AR)
It wasn't exactly a secret that Lady Kima and myself were very close for years. And now she's dead.
Any information leading to my apprehension of the party responsible will be rewarded with the same level of nearly-perverse overpayment that I handle everything else with.
As to the rest, well. I haven't had a good hunt in a while, nor the chance to -really- savor the kill when I get to that. Run and hide - at least make this part fun for us both, eh?
Any information leading to my apprehension of the party responsible will be rewarded with the same level of nearly-perverse overpayment that I handle everything else with.
As to the rest, well. I haven't had a good hunt in a while, nor the chance to -really- savor the kill when I get to that. Run and hide - at least make this part fun for us both, eh?
Written By Audric
Nov. 1, 2017, 12:12 a.m.(7/3/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Daemon
A true and steadfast friend!
Written By Audric
Oct. 31, 2017, 11:42 p.m.(7/3/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Cambria
I'm sorry, okay?! I can't help the fact that the entire world is out to get me. Woe is me, so on and so forth. I already knew I was the worst, though. People tell me it often enough!
Written By Audric
Oct. 25, 2017, 10:52 p.m.(6/19/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Driskell
If that's the case, I'm charging back pay for all the, uh, entertainment. And walking around naked a lot more.
Written By Audric
Oct. 25, 2017, 1:44 a.m.(6/17/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Jack
My, uh, my holes are pretty good how they are. Thanks? I think? But I'll pass?
Written By Audric
Oct. 25, 2017, 12:56 a.m.(6/17/1007 AR)
Skulls make really, really bad goblets, just as a point of general advice. You have to have a lot of metal crammed in there, or all the holes in someone's head mean you get barely a shot's worth while you dribble it all over your pants. The points you get for intimidation and ....style?... aren't worth the trouble of it.
Written By Audric
Oct. 23, 2017, 1:07 a.m.(6/13/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Octavia
As someone who often -is- the lesser of two evils, and also used to be a commoner, it's really not that hard. Speak slowly, use soothing tones of voice, and try not to use any words over three syllables. Wait, no, that's how to calm a spooky horse. Have you tried not talking down to them? It works for me!
Written By Audric
Oct. 22, 2017, 12:31 a.m.(6/11/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Isabetta
Alas, Prince Talen rarely hunts people himself any more. He has a rose Baron with a lot of experience in that sort of thing to do it for him, now! Good to be the boss, eh?
Written By Audric
Oct. 21, 2017, 5:48 a.m.(6/9/1007 AR)
It's so very rare that I meet with someone I've dealt with occasionally in passing, usually at parties or whatnot, and then when I meet with them in a professional setting I'm so terribly impressed! Professionalism is a virtue that so few people have. It's up there with... bathing, or being nice to the serving staff. Professionalism, like those two things, costs you nothing, but can gain you as much as your life.
Written By Audric
Oct. 20, 2017, 2:14 a.m.(6/7/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Aureth
You know when you're -really- going at it and the bits smack too hard against something? That's what clapback is. Pretty sure.
Written By Audric
Oct. 18, 2017, 8:08 p.m.(6/5/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Arianna
When you're caught misbehaving, the more you bluster and blather, the worse you look. Just, you know, an old Boroughs orphan's advice. You get away with so much more if you know when to shut up.
Written By Audric
Oct. 15, 2017, 7:46 a.m.(5/26/1007 AR)
Further, I wonder about these Petrichor folks who get all pissy about eating animals. Ever held a siege? We plunder the land for miles about - everything dies, to feed the army. I'd kill every single woodland creature, crush its skull under my boot, for a tenth of every soldier of mine that dies. We serve Petrichor, who gave us dominion. That includes setting up situations where they are easily killed. And, I'll admit, the kill is terribly delicious.
Written By Audric
Oct. 15, 2017, 7:43 a.m.(5/26/1007 AR)
I have never understood those who claim to hate war and combat and stick to soldiery. I LOVE war. I love the screams of a city burning. They lull me to sleep. I will admit, however, it isn't for everyone, much like not everyone is suited for the meat work of a farm. There's the copper tang of blood to everything, but...
There's plenty of other work. Don't kill, if you don't enjoy the killing. Don't' farm, if you don't enjoy the butchery. I am a man who's heard a terrible man screams of burning cities.
It's a really good lullabye.
There's plenty of other work. Don't kill, if you don't enjoy the killing. Don't' farm, if you don't enjoy the butchery. I am a man who's heard a terrible man screams of burning cities.
It's a really good lullabye.
Written By Audric
Oct. 13, 2017, 12:55 a.m.(5/21/1007 AR)
I've been hearing more and more praise for unicorns. People calling them lovely, majestic creatures, that sort of thing. Some who want to play with them, or have one, or pet one or the like.
They're not. Unicorns are foul beasts. One of their ilk killed one of my best men, before I took up the Captain-General's chair. Filthy scales and long, curling horns meant not only to impale, but to disembowel as they shake you about on it.
Awful creatures, and the type that'll kill you as soon as piss on you, and take my word that they can do that from quite the distance too. Mark my words, someone's going to get themselves killed because of this rush of pro-unicorn propaganda.
They're not. Unicorns are foul beasts. One of their ilk killed one of my best men, before I took up the Captain-General's chair. Filthy scales and long, curling horns meant not only to impale, but to disembowel as they shake you about on it.
Awful creatures, and the type that'll kill you as soon as piss on you, and take my word that they can do that from quite the distance too. Mark my words, someone's going to get themselves killed because of this rush of pro-unicorn propaganda.
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