Written By Reigna
Sept. 26, 2018, 1:51 p.m.(9/4/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Vanora
One has to find the balance between self-reflection and everything else. Yes, I think we can all agree, and no one has argued that self-reflection is a bad idea. We all get it. We all understand that that is a necessary thing. But we also have other things to do. If one only focuses on the self, that is as much of a pitfall as not being self aware. There are others that need to be seen to, others who have needs that need to be addressed. We are not alone in this world and we all rely on one-another to make it through the trials we face.
Written By Reigna
Sept. 25, 2018, 7:16 p.m.(9/2/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Cirroch
As my most excellent High Lord mentions, Keaton does indeed breed a spectacular specimen of dogliness. Bloodhounds are built for hunting, and they make incredible companions. I do not know what I would do without my Oaken. We have a relatively young litter available right now, as well as a few juveniles that have already undergone their basic and intermediate training. We also offer training for those who wish to be better handlers themselves.
If you would like to come and meet our pups, send a missive to our outstanding kennelmaster, Lady Shae Keaton. She is better with them than anyone else I have ever met.
If you would like to come and meet our pups, send a missive to our outstanding kennelmaster, Lady Shae Keaton. She is better with them than anyone else I have ever met.
Written By Reigna
Sept. 25, 2018, 3:34 p.m.(9/2/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Aleksei
So, true story, I was at home, penning in exquisite detail the things a woman's body goes through during pregnancy and birth. I was laughing to myself thinking that Aleksei, should he read it would be horrified and Prince Jasher would be amused. I had just finished said masterpiece when the sound of shrieking children and barking dogs startled me, so I looked over to see what was transpiring, and my eldest Kata, who has developed an unhealthy fixation on fire, had succeeded in setting Aeryn's favorite plushie on fire and was running around with it, while the hounds were barking to summon attention. I jumped up to deal with the situation with the aid of several nurses (Who were given stern a stern talking to about watching Kata around the hearth) and managed to get the plushie into a cauldron of water. I then had to deal with an inconsolable Aeryn who wanted his stuffie back and who I had to explain the consequences that come from breaking Kata's favorite puzzle box. After the pair of them made up, I returned to my desk, sat down to review my writing, only to find that somehow in the chaos, one of the puppies jumped up onto my chair and decided that my parchment smelled just enough like sheep still to chew on it. It would have been salvageable, had his tail not knocked over the inkwell as he turned to jump down from the chair.
So... you're welcome Aleksei?
So... you're welcome Aleksei?
Written By Reigna
Sept. 25, 2018, 1:28 p.m.(9/2/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Corban
I did not mean to cast aspersions on the code of chivalry, or imply that one cannot question while following its tenets. In fact, I quite agree that part of accomplishing one's duty is to do due diligence and ensure that one is on the side of righteousness. As Prince Mydas said earlier, there is no honoring of Gloria in following like a sheep. Blind obedience is no show of faith, but rather is the act of one who willingly accepts a yoke.
I maintain, however, that there is a certain culture associated with such a code that makes it... uncomfortable to be questioned. I am glad if this is not your experience, and I am not, in anyway, trying to say that this is everyone's experience. But I have seen instances in which questioning is seen as something that is almost insulting. As if there is some implication that by simply asking, the questioner is casting doubt on the due diligence of the questioned. As if they are implying those questions have not already been asked.
Perhaps I am not being particularly coherent this morning. I did apparently not read agreement in Prince Mydas' words, so.
I maintain, however, that there is a certain culture associated with such a code that makes it... uncomfortable to be questioned. I am glad if this is not your experience, and I am not, in anyway, trying to say that this is everyone's experience. But I have seen instances in which questioning is seen as something that is almost insulting. As if there is some implication that by simply asking, the questioner is casting doubt on the due diligence of the questioned. As if they are implying those questions have not already been asked.
Perhaps I am not being particularly coherent this morning. I did apparently not read agreement in Prince Mydas' words, so.
Written By Reigna
Sept. 25, 2018, 1:19 p.m.(9/2/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Tikva
I think this is usually the case, especially when there is a fair amount of time between pregnancies. Though I feel as though I remember feeling as though my pregnancy with Talis being smoother than with Aeryn. I was far less prone to losing my food, that is for certain. Though to be fair I spent over a month in Stormwall where I did not actually do much eating, given the circumstances. So.
Written By Reigna
Sept. 25, 2018, 12:19 p.m.(9/2/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Aleksei
Oh, my friend. I could give you a few examples should you like me to. You probably do not.
It is still worth it.
It is still worth it.
Written By Reigna
Sept. 25, 2018, 12:04 p.m.(9/2/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Mydas
I had to go back and see my own entry to confirm that I did not imply such. I was, in fact, saying essentially what you just did. I agree that questions should not be seen as threatening because all they do is provide opportunity to reaffirm our own faith.
Perhaps it is my recent lack of sleep, but that is what I said, was it not?
Perhaps it is my recent lack of sleep, but that is what I said, was it not?
Written By Reigna
Sept. 25, 2018, 11:22 a.m.(9/2/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Mydas
I appreciate your words on Tehom, and have found much of what you speak of most enlightening. I am an Oathlander raised within the Orthodoxy, though, since coming to Arx, I no longer think that I can still call myself strictly Orthodox. It is easy when you are within a chorus of voices, singing the same melody with little to no variation, to think that is the only way to sing. But the addition of counterpoint, subtle harmonies and even the occasional dissonance adds so much more depth and complexity, so much more life to a piece. It was not until coming to Arx that I learned to appreciate this new music of the Faith. I immediately gravitated towards the teachings of Skald and of Death. Incorporating their melodies into the song of the canticles I have loved my entire life. Tehom took more time for me to really understand, but the more I learn, the more I study, the more I understand the value offered in his teachings. I understand that being afraid of what is inside me gives that flaw or quality, power over me. It shapes all my actions the more I try to deny it. By facing it, embracing whatever it is, by removing the fear and seeing it... I take my power back and it no longer controls me. Self evaluation, being able to remove yourself from whatever emotion is overtaking you, taking a breath and then accepting it -- it is a powerful gift.
I think the aspect of Tehom's worship that most grates, or feels uncomfortable for most Oathlanders (and I could be wrong, this is only my theory) is the contrarian nature. The questioning. Chivalry is drilled into Oathland children, and chivalry is often based on implicit trust in those around you to conform to the same rules that you do. It is, quite literally, an honor system. Some see this as hopelessly naive, this trust placed in others without question. And it can be. Trust can be a fragile thing. Questioning can feel as though that trust is wavering, that there is uncertainty when chivalry demands that faith, that belief and trust. I am not saying either side is wrong, but I do see how they can rub one another the wrong way.
What needs to be understood, or what might smooth those ruffled feathers, is understanding that the questions are not asked to shake the foundation, but to provide context for that belief. If you can answer those questions and feel steady in those answers, your faith, your trust is strengthened. If you cannot answer those questions without feeling the ground shifting under you, that is a sign that perhaps your faith, your trust is not as solid as it should be. The trick is not being afraid to face that answer. Accept whichever answer you find. If you are uncertain it does not mean your faith is wrong, it is simply providing an opportunity to strengthen your belief by finding the root of your uncertainty and resolving that question for yourself.
I think the aspect of Tehom's worship that most grates, or feels uncomfortable for most Oathlanders (and I could be wrong, this is only my theory) is the contrarian nature. The questioning. Chivalry is drilled into Oathland children, and chivalry is often based on implicit trust in those around you to conform to the same rules that you do. It is, quite literally, an honor system. Some see this as hopelessly naive, this trust placed in others without question. And it can be. Trust can be a fragile thing. Questioning can feel as though that trust is wavering, that there is uncertainty when chivalry demands that faith, that belief and trust. I am not saying either side is wrong, but I do see how they can rub one another the wrong way.
What needs to be understood, or what might smooth those ruffled feathers, is understanding that the questions are not asked to shake the foundation, but to provide context for that belief. If you can answer those questions and feel steady in those answers, your faith, your trust is strengthened. If you cannot answer those questions without feeling the ground shifting under you, that is a sign that perhaps your faith, your trust is not as solid as it should be. The trick is not being afraid to face that answer. Accept whichever answer you find. If you are uncertain it does not mean your faith is wrong, it is simply providing an opportunity to strengthen your belief by finding the root of your uncertainty and resolving that question for yourself.
Written By Reigna
Sept. 24, 2018, 8:16 p.m.(8/28/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Ida
I think you are quite right. I can speak of it now, for it is no longer a memory that brings me any sort of discomfort, but when I gave birth to Aeryn, well. He was an extremely large baby, and while I am taller than most women, well. It was a very difficult birth and had Mother Mercy Sophie not been on hand I might have had a much more difficult time. Kael was beside himself. But within a few days it had faded to a nebulous unpleasantness with the sweetest of rewards. I was carrying Talis within six months of Aeryn's birth. I thought after Talis I would give myself a break of several years, but already I see myself staring at babies and getting that flutter of memory. In time only the good memories remain, and I think we can thank our survival as a race to that peculiar selective memory that mother's have.
Written By Reigna
Sept. 24, 2018, 5:10 p.m.(8/28/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Joscelin
Dearest Guildmaster Joscelin, I think it is important to state that I never, ever, consider it an imposition to answer any and all questions from a first-time mother. Pregnancy is a frankly, terrifying thing. There are all sorts of new and unusual pains, discomforts and symptoms that make one feel utterly out of control of their body. There are a few perks, thicker, more lustrous hair, a certain glow and sense of wonder at the fact that we are carrying a separate life within our own bodies. But mostly it can be an exercise in trying how to will time into moving faster until you can just get the child out. I will happily be with you every step of the way, should you desire it. Send me all your questions. Knowing what is happening to you can do wonders, having someone to complain or gush to, who has been through it before also helps.
Written By Reigna
Sept. 24, 2018, 1:51 p.m.(8/28/1009 AR)
Identity is such a strange thing. What makes a person who they are? Is it titles and oaths and responsibilities? I often find there are these moments in which I suddenly find myself shaken to the core, unable to process anything because some fundamental truth that I held has been countered in a way I cannot explain away. When this happens to my image of myself it is especially troubling. For if you do not know yourself, how can you claim to know anything else?
I have been struggling. With Oakhaven's elevation to March status, our responsibilities have trebled. I am mother to three children under the age of four years, the eldest being just over three, the middle, two and the youngest almost one. I am the Guildmaster of the Physicians Guild, a thriving, hectic and beautiful collection of the most selfless people I know. To have the drive to heal others is one of the most painful and exhausting callings there is. We deal in the pain of others daily, we toil to bring life into this world, preserve it, cure it and ease it back into Death's dominion when it is time.
What I can no longer claim to be, is a Scholar. It is... I do not have the words. There is a sense of failure, a tinge of guilt that somehow I should have found the reserves of energy, of time to commit to this, my first calling. I love knowledge. I love sharing it. I love seeing that look in someone's eyes when something they thought was beyond them suddenly becomes clear. That great surge of pride and happiness when something just clicks into place. I love mysteries and trying to figure out why things are the way they are. In my heart I will always be a scholar. My vows to Vellichor remain in place. My purpose in teaching and sharing knowledge remains unchanged... but as I woke this morning, my hand reached for my silver pendant and for the first time in years I did not put it on. I looked into my mirror and I felt... different. I still find my hand moving to touch a pendant that is not there, a weight I never noticed is more tangible in its lack.
I have been struggling. With Oakhaven's elevation to March status, our responsibilities have trebled. I am mother to three children under the age of four years, the eldest being just over three, the middle, two and the youngest almost one. I am the Guildmaster of the Physicians Guild, a thriving, hectic and beautiful collection of the most selfless people I know. To have the drive to heal others is one of the most painful and exhausting callings there is. We deal in the pain of others daily, we toil to bring life into this world, preserve it, cure it and ease it back into Death's dominion when it is time.
What I can no longer claim to be, is a Scholar. It is... I do not have the words. There is a sense of failure, a tinge of guilt that somehow I should have found the reserves of energy, of time to commit to this, my first calling. I love knowledge. I love sharing it. I love seeing that look in someone's eyes when something they thought was beyond them suddenly becomes clear. That great surge of pride and happiness when something just clicks into place. I love mysteries and trying to figure out why things are the way they are. In my heart I will always be a scholar. My vows to Vellichor remain in place. My purpose in teaching and sharing knowledge remains unchanged... but as I woke this morning, my hand reached for my silver pendant and for the first time in years I did not put it on. I looked into my mirror and I felt... different. I still find my hand moving to touch a pendant that is not there, a weight I never noticed is more tangible in its lack.
Written By Reigna
Sept. 18, 2018, 1:39 p.m.(8/16/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Mydas
It was not that before I became a mother I had no ambitions to make the world a better place, it was more that the urge was amorphous and unfocused. I wanted to do good, to be good. But as I carried my first child that shapeless urge became so much more defined. It still was vague, a desire for the world to be safer for my child. It was when I was carrying my second, Talis, that I was called by duty to Stormwall. What I saw there, the experiences I had, it crystallized everything. What drives me now is the need to make this world safer, better for my boys. For my daughter of heart if not blood.
It is a sobering thing, to hold that small child and look into their trusting eyes and realize that you are responsible for them. That you are their whole world.
There is an almost parental role taken by a noble to their charges. We provide safety, we provide opportunity, we are there to help them flourish and be successful, but there is a distance inherent to that relationship. For all the similarities, there is a barrier, while a good lord loves their people and in turn the people love them, it is not at all the same as holding your child in your lap, looking into their eyes.
It is a sobering thing, to hold that small child and look into their trusting eyes and realize that you are responsible for them. That you are their whole world.
There is an almost parental role taken by a noble to their charges. We provide safety, we provide opportunity, we are there to help them flourish and be successful, but there is a distance inherent to that relationship. For all the similarities, there is a barrier, while a good lord loves their people and in turn the people love them, it is not at all the same as holding your child in your lap, looking into their eyes.
Written By Reigna
Sept. 14, 2018, 12:20 a.m.(8/7/1009 AR)
There are days in which I get very angry at the world. Today is one of those days.
Perhaps it is not the world I am mad at.
Perhaps it is just one awful person.
You are the worst.
Perhaps it is not the world I am mad at.
Perhaps it is just one awful person.
You are the worst.
Written By Reigna
Sept. 13, 2018, 7:03 p.m.(8/4/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Fortunato
I am reminded that we were supposed to enjoy some tea sometime soon. I have a very mild blend you might find appealing, kissed with just a hint of summer peach.
Written By Reigna
Sept. 13, 2018, 10:10 a.m.(8/3/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Alarissa
Seriously?
Just because they are not nobility from Arvum does not make them 'common'. Was *anything* about that place common? No. Also, why do you feel it necessary to denigrate commoners because of the actions of some insane foreign heathens? I understand your upset, but there is no reason for your ire to be directed towards the good upstanding folk of the Compact.
Just because they are not nobility from Arvum does not make them 'common'. Was *anything* about that place common? No. Also, why do you feel it necessary to denigrate commoners because of the actions of some insane foreign heathens? I understand your upset, but there is no reason for your ire to be directed towards the good upstanding folk of the Compact.
Written By Reigna
Sept. 12, 2018, 8:39 p.m.(8/2/1009 AR)
I am, as I think I mentioned before, the youngest of seven. I have five elder sisters and an elder brother. It was... interesting. Growing up among so many. Particularly given the circumstances force upon us by Maman Ariella and her gambling. All my life, prior to my wedding, I never owned a dress that had not been worn by at least two of my sisters before me. Though, I should really say a hearty thank you to my sister Hannah, who could always be trusted to destroy the ones I was particularly disinclined to inherit. We were close as children, or we were until I began to grown bookish and standoffish around ten years of age.
For years I felt very alone, very isolated from my family. I think in many ways those feelings were my own creation. The distance between us something I imagined into being. Since coming to Arx, I have been blessed to be reunited with my sister Hannah. And we are now, I think, closer than we have been since I was a young, young girl.
For years I felt very alone, very isolated from my family. I think in many ways those feelings were my own creation. The distance between us something I imagined into being. Since coming to Arx, I have been blessed to be reunited with my sister Hannah. And we are now, I think, closer than we have been since I was a young, young girl.
Written By Reigna
Sept. 6, 2018, 6:17 p.m.(7/18/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Jaenelle
I was going to ask why you would lay upon your loved ones the task to destroy your last wishes! I am relieved that that is not the case, as you seem to be a lovely woman!
I am developing a theory that bearing a child diverts much of the humors needed to sustain intellect to the child within you. I blamed many an outburst of emotion or moment of forgetfulness on being with child. I think most other mothers can relate to the concept of 'baby brain'.
I am developing a theory that bearing a child diverts much of the humors needed to sustain intellect to the child within you. I blamed many an outburst of emotion or moment of forgetfulness on being with child. I think most other mothers can relate to the concept of 'baby brain'.
Written By Reigna
Sept. 6, 2018, 12:30 p.m.(7/17/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Joslyn
I am unsure what other way there is to read the words written, but I accept that their meaning was not what you intended them to be.
I do further question the fact that what this person did was small enough to be resolved by an apology, but because they refused to offer it, it turned into an issue grave enough for you to call their ability to lead into question. Perhaps instead of remaining vague, the better course of action is to name the one whose behavior you find so damning. If they are creating a breech of etiquette so egregious that you feel they should be removed from their position, you are, I feel, obligated to name this person and enumerate the behavior you find so concerning. These are serious charges that you are laying, and should be treated as such.
Words, as you know, have power. If you are so concerned, lay your accusation plainly, especially if you feel this individual is in danger of failing the people they are supposed to be protecting. If not publicly, then to their liege.
I do further question the fact that what this person did was small enough to be resolved by an apology, but because they refused to offer it, it turned into an issue grave enough for you to call their ability to lead into question. Perhaps instead of remaining vague, the better course of action is to name the one whose behavior you find so damning. If they are creating a breech of etiquette so egregious that you feel they should be removed from their position, you are, I feel, obligated to name this person and enumerate the behavior you find so concerning. These are serious charges that you are laying, and should be treated as such.
Words, as you know, have power. If you are so concerned, lay your accusation plainly, especially if you feel this individual is in danger of failing the people they are supposed to be protecting. If not publicly, then to their liege.
Written By Reigna
Sept. 6, 2018, 11:33 a.m.(7/17/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Joslyn
Quoted for accuracy and context:
"There are times where I come across individuals so unfit for their positions, I cannot help but wonder if rule by the virtue of birth is always in the best interest of the people."
There a few issues I take with the above statement:
The minority should not condemn the whole of a body. If there is an infection, you do not kill the host. If you run across these individuals, it is best to deal with them, rather than call into question the structure of our whole society. Nobility is a compact, a pledge, a promise held by a family to serve those under their guardianship. If one is found lacking they should most definitely be addressed and corrected. If that does not prove to rectify the situation, further actions like being disowned can be taken.
Statements like these are troublesome. While I agree that there are some born into nobility that are not of the appropriate temperament for such a thing, calling into question the foundation of our society and civilization is a bit reckless. Society is based on the concepts of honor and duty, a belief in the fundamental trust that the rules are to be obeyed. Nobility is a privilege, we lead lives of comfort and wealth because we sacrifice personal freedoms and accept the weight of decisions that effect those many, many lives that rely on us to do the best possible job protecting them, seeing to their security and welfare. This system works because the commoners trust that we are doing the job we were born to do. That does not mean there are not failures among the Peers. There have been. That is why it is vital that when one is making bad decisions, bad choices and failing in their primary task that they are loudly called on it. They should not be able to escape condemnation for their lapse. So. By all means, when you see one of the Peerage being derelict in their responsibility, call them onto the carpet. But do not condemn the rest of us for the faults of the few. My honor is unstained. I do my best for my people because I was born to this. I was raised my entire life to feel the weight of my responsibility. To know that my life is pledged to the service of others. That is how our civilization works.
"There are times where I come across individuals so unfit for their positions, I cannot help but wonder if rule by the virtue of birth is always in the best interest of the people."
There a few issues I take with the above statement:
The minority should not condemn the whole of a body. If there is an infection, you do not kill the host. If you run across these individuals, it is best to deal with them, rather than call into question the structure of our whole society. Nobility is a compact, a pledge, a promise held by a family to serve those under their guardianship. If one is found lacking they should most definitely be addressed and corrected. If that does not prove to rectify the situation, further actions like being disowned can be taken.
Statements like these are troublesome. While I agree that there are some born into nobility that are not of the appropriate temperament for such a thing, calling into question the foundation of our society and civilization is a bit reckless. Society is based on the concepts of honor and duty, a belief in the fundamental trust that the rules are to be obeyed. Nobility is a privilege, we lead lives of comfort and wealth because we sacrifice personal freedoms and accept the weight of decisions that effect those many, many lives that rely on us to do the best possible job protecting them, seeing to their security and welfare. This system works because the commoners trust that we are doing the job we were born to do. That does not mean there are not failures among the Peers. There have been. That is why it is vital that when one is making bad decisions, bad choices and failing in their primary task that they are loudly called on it. They should not be able to escape condemnation for their lapse. So. By all means, when you see one of the Peerage being derelict in their responsibility, call them onto the carpet. But do not condemn the rest of us for the faults of the few. My honor is unstained. I do my best for my people because I was born to this. I was raised my entire life to feel the weight of my responsibility. To know that my life is pledged to the service of others. That is how our civilization works.
Written By Reigna
Sept. 1, 2018, 2:14 a.m.(7/2/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Meriah
I have given you nothing that you have not earned. You are an amazing physician. It is truly an honor to work with you.
And I consider you a genuine friend.
And I consider you a genuine friend.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.