Written By Carmen
March 25, 2021, 10:06 a.m.(3/4/1015 AR)
Back in town a few days, already seen so many new faces. So far everyone has been polite and (more imporantly) smart. I just cannot suffer fools. How long before I lose my temper again because of someone else's stupidity? Anger has already cost me too many friends. It's made me too many enemies, too many bad first impressions, though I'm not sure I care what idiots think of me.
It's only a matter of time before some idiot pisses me off and I lose it again. I guess I'll just have to do my best to keep it together. At least booze helps.
Written By Carmen
Nov. 15, 2020, 5:39 p.m.(5/22/1014 AR)
It's been a few weeks since I've been back in Arx. I've met plenty of new folks and about drunk half my body-weight in alcohol. The news coming from the west leaves me on edge and I'm just waiting for the next contract. I could use it. Sitting around and feeling restless isn't helping. I know it's the tension, especially since the horrible news about the Dominus.
What can I do. Continue to wait? Or maybe enlist on my own.
What can I do. Continue to wait? Or maybe enlist on my own.
Written By Carmen
Dec. 22, 2019, 12:19 a.m.(6/3/1012 AR)
I've had something horrifying occur to me. It may be from whatever was in that Hot Blush, or maybe because I'm trying to dry out, but -
Silk comes from the coccoons of a worm that eats mulberry leaves or something.
Where does STEELSILK come from?
Silk comes from the coccoons of a worm that eats mulberry leaves or something.
Where does STEELSILK come from?
Written By Carmen
Dec. 16, 2019, 1:29 a.m.(5/19/1012 AR)
I tripped over four bottles on my way out the door this morning. And the morning was more spent than I had wished. So I'm going to make this vow down for myself: I'll have a glass with my fellows, but I shan't bring a bottle to my room. Unless I have to store it, I guess. Vows are always a pain... mem. get fresh straw in
Written By Carmen
March 31, 2019, 7:31 a.m.(11/3/1010 AR)
Relationship Note on Venturo
Seeing as it's my sense being called into question on the whites, I'm going to put it here in writing:
If I have a care for a person and I'm to see that person well and soundly sloshed for the first time, may the gods melt my eyeballs if I give them cider to do it.
I'm hurt to the bottom of my mercenary _soul_ right now.
If I have a care for a person and I'm to see that person well and soundly sloshed for the first time, may the gods melt my eyeballs if I give them cider to do it.
I'm hurt to the bottom of my mercenary _soul_ right now.
Written By Carmen
Feb. 7, 2019, 6:36 a.m.(7/11/1010 AR)
Relationship Note on Audric
There's a crazy story at the end of this. You wouldn't settle for less.
Written By Carmen
Jan. 16, 2019, 9:34 a.m.(5/15/1010 AR)
Now that everyone's got the finger pointing at sellswords and misbehaving scholars out of their systems, I can't wait to read all the plans for reforming the groups that let three hundred people to do evil for years unpunished.
I put an arrow through the throat of a woman that turned one of my people into red goop. If you want to blame some spring rheumatism, fine, but I find my knees aren't feeling so penitent right now.
And I'm sick to death of being lectured for keeping secrets by the people keeping secrets. A little daylight would do us all good.
I put an arrow through the throat of a woman that turned one of my people into red goop. If you want to blame some spring rheumatism, fine, but I find my knees aren't feeling so penitent right now.
And I'm sick to death of being lectured for keeping secrets by the people keeping secrets. A little daylight would do us all good.
Written By Carmen
Jan. 13, 2019, 11:21 p.m.(5/9/1010 AR)
"As Arx endures, we will remember."
Written By Carmen
Jan. 11, 2019, 8:01 p.m.(5/5/1010 AR)
I've known too many good people who never learn how to fight off someone who means to do them harm. They think they can't or they're too busy or they think fighting is bad.
I'm not saying training would have helped in all of this. I wasn't there (and that's a whole other problem). But I hope people know they can learn, if they want to - and they should. It's a dangerous world.
I'm not saying training would have helped in all of this. I wasn't there (and that's a whole other problem). But I hope people know they can learn, if they want to - and they should. It's a dangerous world.
Written By Carmen
Jan. 6, 2019, 11:55 a.m.(4/22/1010 AR)
Is there a scale of bad? In the big picture, is acid snow worse or better than huge, angry-looking ships and emissaries? Potato soup monsters are sounding pretty good right about now. That's how awful things are.
Written By Carmen
Jan. 6, 2019, 11:23 a.m.(4/22/1010 AR)
Relationship Note on Joscelin
My patron is back in Arx. That's great. Exactly zero surprising, unusual, or flat-out uncanny things happened to/around/at me while she was gone. The quiet was making me jumpy.
Written By Carmen
Dec. 30, 2018, 8:04 p.m.(4/9/1010 AR)
Relationship Note on Violet
There's nowhere else those soldiers would rather be. We've got your back, Commandant.
Written By Carmen
Dec. 17, 2018, 8:51 a.m.(3/9/1010 AR)
The worst part of this job is when a person comes to you saying "Help me" and you know you can't do a damn thing for them.
Good news, I guess, is that we didn't see anything too terrible at the hospital from the snow. Some cuts and bruises on account of people being disoriented, a lot of vomit. You hand them a bucket, some water, some bread and tell them to sit still. They don't listen, which you knew that they wouldn't. You do it anyway because it's the only thing you have. It's a gods damned farse. These aren't soldiers. They're people. Normal, everyday civilians not doing anything but living. The whole world is sideways, and all you can do is hope that the people who know how to fix it, do.
If you're one of them: Thanks. Please help. In the meantime I'm substituting alcohol for water because that's a great idea.
(You know what works best on bruises? Snow. You know what I can't put on bruises today because it's green and acidy?
Seriously. Make it stop.)
Good news, I guess, is that we didn't see anything too terrible at the hospital from the snow. Some cuts and bruises on account of people being disoriented, a lot of vomit. You hand them a bucket, some water, some bread and tell them to sit still. They don't listen, which you knew that they wouldn't. You do it anyway because it's the only thing you have. It's a gods damned farse. These aren't soldiers. They're people. Normal, everyday civilians not doing anything but living. The whole world is sideways, and all you can do is hope that the people who know how to fix it, do.
If you're one of them: Thanks. Please help. In the meantime I'm substituting alcohol for water because that's a great idea.
(You know what works best on bruises? Snow. You know what I can't put on bruises today because it's green and acidy?
Seriously. Make it stop.)
Written By Carmen
Dec. 14, 2018, 9:42 p.m.(3/5/1010 AR)
Relationship Note on Violet
Let it be known that on this, the fifth day of March, 1010, I beat Commandant-Baroness Violet Farwatch in an archery contest on an icy night where you almost couldn't see the target around your own breathing. She's worked with me on the bow and arrow since the Blades dragged me out of the Lowers and into a better life. I thought I'd never be good enough to beat her, which said much more about me as a student. It's the best gift I have to give to the teacher I never deserved.
Of course, I'm still going to try to win the next one, too.
Of course, I'm still going to try to win the next one, too.
Written By Carmen
Dec. 12, 2018, 10 a.m.(2/28/1010 AR)
I put out word that I wanted mentoring in leading people. I got a lot of responses. A lot. From all types - high born, low born, old, young, warriors, diplomats.
We have no shortage of smart people thinking hard on leadership, even as I still can't explain what it is. I know it when I see it, sure. But it's a giant bucket. Getting people to want to do what you want them to do. Picking a path. Solving problems. Growing good people. How you talk and what you say while you're doing it.
How someone thinks about the question and gets to an answer is almost as interesting as where they end up. In sort-of-short, this has been great, better than I had a right to expect, and I'm not even halfway through the list of people I need to get back in touch with. If I were a writer, I'd note everything down for others. As it is, I'll count myself a lucky and (I hope) worthy student.
(Note: if you are reading this and are one of the people I haven't been back in touch with? I haven't forgotten you. Thank you.)
We have no shortage of smart people thinking hard on leadership, even as I still can't explain what it is. I know it when I see it, sure. But it's a giant bucket. Getting people to want to do what you want them to do. Picking a path. Solving problems. Growing good people. How you talk and what you say while you're doing it.
How someone thinks about the question and gets to an answer is almost as interesting as where they end up. In sort-of-short, this has been great, better than I had a right to expect, and I'm not even halfway through the list of people I need to get back in touch with. If I were a writer, I'd note everything down for others. As it is, I'll count myself a lucky and (I hope) worthy student.
(Note: if you are reading this and are one of the people I haven't been back in touch with? I haven't forgotten you. Thank you.)
Written By Carmen
Dec. 7, 2018, 10:32 p.m.(2/19/1010 AR)
Relationship Note on Joscelin
Congrats, Guildmaster!
When we talked about doing "contracted services", I didn't know you meant it quite so literal.
When we talked about doing "contracted services", I didn't know you meant it quite so literal.
Written By Carmen
Dec. 6, 2018, 8:37 a.m.(2/15/1010 AR)
Relationship Note on Sparte
What do you do when hurtful silence is a choice? Drink.
I'm serious. You can't make someone be kind when kindness means "not silent". Can't make people do most things, as point of fact, no matter how much you poke and prod. They get a say, even if it's to say naught. So drink or throw things or be not silent to someone in need or whatever else helps you deal with it.
Assuming, you know, you've told her or him there's a problem instead of meandering over it here. Not to say there is a problem. We're just talking in a general way about kindness or some such.
I'm serious. You can't make someone be kind when kindness means "not silent". Can't make people do most things, as point of fact, no matter how much you poke and prod. They get a say, even if it's to say naught. So drink or throw things or be not silent to someone in need or whatever else helps you deal with it.
Assuming, you know, you've told her or him there's a problem instead of meandering over it here. Not to say there is a problem. We're just talking in a general way about kindness or some such.
Written By Carmen
Dec. 3, 2018, 8:02 a.m.(2/9/1010 AR)
I find myself with cause to get unwisely drunk. If any friends would like to join in ritual alcohol poisoning, let’s meet. First round on me.
Adora and Gilroy: No.
Adora and Gilroy: No.
Written By Carmen
Nov. 28, 2018, 11:50 a.m.(1/27/1010 AR)
Relationship Note on Audric
"Now recruiting: The Valorous Few, Very Dumb, and Just Strange."
Thanks for taking the time to correct my understanding. I think I'm squared away now.
Thanks for taking the time to correct my understanding. I think I'm squared away now.
Written By Carmen
Nov. 28, 2018, 12:31 a.m.(1/26/1010 AR)
Curiosity killed the cat and satisfaction stepped on it, rolled it in molasses and threw it out of a window onto a rolling cart full of feathers that fell into the gods damned sea.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.