Written By Lucita
July 6, 2020, 10:20 a.m.(8/9/1013 AR)
Relationship Note on Estaban
Another sleepless night passes by and my thoughts turn to my late husband. Hard to believe he has been gone over five years now. Five years we have struggled without his guidance save for what remembered we spoke of during the brief time we had before he was killed at war in 1008. The twins are thriving, making new friends and they point out Esta's statue in the garden to them and I find them sometimes just loooking at Esta's portrait. It is regretful that they can't see his smirky grin or enjoy his sense of humor or feel the security of his firm handling of duty. I'm doing the best I can for them. Lord Vomis is still coming to spend time with me once a week though primarily is staying with Duke Hadrian who Baron Eos made his first liar. The bond between them is close. I wonder what the future will bring to him, to us.
Written By Lucita
April 2, 2020, 9:46 a.m.(1/15/1013 AR)
Relationship Note on Estaban
What would have been our fifth anniversary is coming up in a few days. Each time I play the clavichord that was a wedding gift to us from Aiden I remember and still miss you. You would be proud of your children... and maybe a combination of amused and annoyed if they hid their snowballs in your boots the way they did mine. We're moving on through life, and it is not as hard as it was two or three years ago, but you are not forgotten.
Written By Lucita
Nov. 1, 2019, 9:20 a.m.(2/14/1012 AR)
Relationship Note on Estaban
The first Eclipse of Mirrors I ever attended in Arx was with you. We ate, drank, danced, and ...well, perhaps those thoughts shall remain private. Such fond memories. This one I attended alone. My time was spent with an old friend whose identity I guessed, her costume so lovely. When I returned home, I looked in on our children, so sweetly sleeping. They had made little paper masks for the plushies you had bought for them before you died, before they were born.
Written By Lucita
Oct. 13, 2019, 9:16 a.m.(1/4/1012 AR)
Relationship Note on Estaban
Four years ago I was watching Lord Sebastian carve those amusing snow and ice sculptures for our wedding reception, getting to know Lord Vomus and teaching him a few dance steps, and packing up the rest of my belongings to have them moved into Saik Tower after our wedding in less than two weeks. I remember the sounds of the builders as they added the last minute details to the music room Esta had built as a present for me, the bustle of the servants making sure the tower was clean and fresh, and the fittings of my wedding dress. Those were happy times that have turned into a sweet poignant memory without the overwhelming sadness I felt the first two years.
Written By Lucita
Sept. 16, 2018, 11:27 p.m.(8/13/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Estaban
Your children are ten months old now. Kyllan is already starting to take some steps on his own. Estie crawls faster than he can wobble and does not seem to be in a hurry to walk yet. They both babble and occasionally form a word one can understand. I tell them about you every day, How proud you would be of them.
Written By Karadoc
Sept. 9, 2018, 10:59 a.m.(7/23/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Estaban
I couldn't decide whether or not to keep this in my Journal -- or hide it away in my Reflections, but, I don't really care --
I'm still dealing with your absence, cos. Daily. Not that we were particularly close, because I don't think that we were, but that -- mutual tolerance, I guess I'd call it, it was there. Now, it's not. I didn't know any of your hardships, none of your internal struggles, nothing of what your dreams and frustrations were. Nothing - zip - zero - zilch. Never did, never will now. What I know of you -- your character, your inner self -- I've learned from Lucita.
She's the one that still feels your loss, keenly, and I still feel like her grief is more important, so I keep trying to support and validate her feelings and experiences because she deserves being attended to, even if GODS I'd rather avoid the expectations and the necessity of being there.
(See, now this is the part I wasn't sure about keeping. FUCK IT. Here goes --)
You're gone, Kima, Eos. Our House functional or dysfunctional -- operates (like they ALL do, presumably) according to a set of roles, traditions, and patterns. Each person has their place in the family system. An important person is gone, YOU, and here I am sometimes unable (and occasionally disinterested) in!carrying out traditions and patterns as they have in the past. That's what Lucita DOES. And after her, the kids will. I will, if I NEED to.
But I shouldn't -- and this is where I get petty -- but fuck. You shouldn't have died, cos. I shouldn't have to WORK and WORRY about living up to my full potential or some equally sentimental bullshit. It's petty, but I'm angry that you died. The House dynamic has changed and there will be no trying to live up to those Estaban Saik expectations. No one is idiotic enough to attempt to compare you to anyone else in this family aside from your sprogs, and it's just fact that your legacy (and Kima's and Eos') is just gonna overshadow everything else.
Why else are we going to throw up a statue of you in the Hall of Heroes, right? Even if the cost of the honor wou--
(Fine, Scholar, you have a point.)
I'm still dealing with your absence, cos. Daily. Not that we were particularly close, because I don't think that we were, but that -- mutual tolerance, I guess I'd call it, it was there. Now, it's not. I didn't know any of your hardships, none of your internal struggles, nothing of what your dreams and frustrations were. Nothing - zip - zero - zilch. Never did, never will now. What I know of you -- your character, your inner self -- I've learned from Lucita.
She's the one that still feels your loss, keenly, and I still feel like her grief is more important, so I keep trying to support and validate her feelings and experiences because she deserves being attended to, even if GODS I'd rather avoid the expectations and the necessity of being there.
(See, now this is the part I wasn't sure about keeping. FUCK IT. Here goes --)
You're gone, Kima, Eos. Our House functional or dysfunctional -- operates (like they ALL do, presumably) according to a set of roles, traditions, and patterns. Each person has their place in the family system. An important person is gone, YOU, and here I am sometimes unable (and occasionally disinterested) in!carrying out traditions and patterns as they have in the past. That's what Lucita DOES. And after her, the kids will. I will, if I NEED to.
But I shouldn't -- and this is where I get petty -- but fuck. You shouldn't have died, cos. I shouldn't have to WORK and WORRY about living up to my full potential or some equally sentimental bullshit. It's petty, but I'm angry that you died. The House dynamic has changed and there will be no trying to live up to those Estaban Saik expectations. No one is idiotic enough to attempt to compare you to anyone else in this family aside from your sprogs, and it's just fact that your legacy (and Kima's and Eos') is just gonna overshadow everything else.
Why else are we going to throw up a statue of you in the Hall of Heroes, right? Even if the cost of the honor wou--
(Fine, Scholar, you have a point.)
Written By Lucita
Aug. 12, 2018, 8:22 p.m.(5/20/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Estaban
I stood staring at your portrait today, holding our twins and telling them about you. They are seven months old now and it is almost a year since you died. Our son is pulling up to stand already. The nanny says he is going to be an 'early walker'. Estie seems content to play with blocks and cloth balls, rattles, usually throwing them at one of us if she can, and babbling or humming for hours to the dogs who seem tolerant of her pulling their ears and tails if she can get her hands on them. Caring family, friends, the babies and the counselling of some of the Faith have helped a lot to keep me looking and planning toward the future instead of being lost in the grief of the past.
Written By Lucita
June 26, 2018, 11:58 p.m.(2/3/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Estaban
I still miss you so very much. Our first wedding anniversary would have been back in mid January. I spent it playing the piano, holding our children and telling them about you, reading them stories even if at three months old, they are too young to do more than coo at the sound of my voice. And I sang for them, not lullabys but some of your favorite songs. The nights are cold, and lonely.
Written By Aiden
June 10, 2018, 6:47 p.m.(12/18/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Estaban
The world allowed me a chance to give you a proper goodbye.
Rest well, Lion of Saik.
Rest well, Lion of Saik.
Written By Aiden
June 3, 2018, 11:04 p.m.(11/28/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Estaban
My friend,
You should see the city-state - but I'm sure you have, maybe when you were younger. Mostly likely then. You lived close enough to it. I regret that it wasn't anything I ever asked you. Far too many questions went unasked, but, I'll tell you right now it is quite different than Arx or even Bastion. It's grand in it's own way. The buildings and the architect down here, I mean, with the stone quarries they have, it's quite magnificent. A few of them caught my breath. Still, there is a vibe down here that is peculiar, I can't quite put my finger on it, maybe it's like when ravens and seagulls are far too close to one another. Maybe I was imagining it.
Ahh, the weeks I've spent down here, haven't been terrible. After the last few excursions I went on, this seems like a holiday. The beauty here comes from its people. The landscape is vastly different from what I'm used too, quite a lot of rocks. I can imagine quite a few sea birds come this way to nest. There's such a diversity though, in everything here. It is on the edge of the Compact and is close enough to the sea that travelers come through Southport, that it's not surprising to see a variety of tabards from other parts of the world. Still, the looks I get from people! Lady Eirene may have been right. Half of them I swear I shouldn't turn my back on. I really should've spoken to you more about Lycene ways when I had the chance.
Though somehow I suspect I'll have the rest of my life to learn precisely how to navigate. Still, my aim is to return to the Saiklands soon, in a more official capacity than being your children's godparent. A rum lifted to you tonight, my friend. From the tables of Gemecitta.
Your friend,
The Duke of Falcons. (Catchy isn't it? You probably would've ribbed me for it)
You should see the city-state - but I'm sure you have, maybe when you were younger. Mostly likely then. You lived close enough to it. I regret that it wasn't anything I ever asked you. Far too many questions went unasked, but, I'll tell you right now it is quite different than Arx or even Bastion. It's grand in it's own way. The buildings and the architect down here, I mean, with the stone quarries they have, it's quite magnificent. A few of them caught my breath. Still, there is a vibe down here that is peculiar, I can't quite put my finger on it, maybe it's like when ravens and seagulls are far too close to one another. Maybe I was imagining it.
Ahh, the weeks I've spent down here, haven't been terrible. After the last few excursions I went on, this seems like a holiday. The beauty here comes from its people. The landscape is vastly different from what I'm used too, quite a lot of rocks. I can imagine quite a few sea birds come this way to nest. There's such a diversity though, in everything here. It is on the edge of the Compact and is close enough to the sea that travelers come through Southport, that it's not surprising to see a variety of tabards from other parts of the world. Still, the looks I get from people! Lady Eirene may have been right. Half of them I swear I shouldn't turn my back on. I really should've spoken to you more about Lycene ways when I had the chance.
Though somehow I suspect I'll have the rest of my life to learn precisely how to navigate. Still, my aim is to return to the Saiklands soon, in a more official capacity than being your children's godparent. A rum lifted to you tonight, my friend. From the tables of Gemecitta.
Your friend,
The Duke of Falcons. (Catchy isn't it? You probably would've ribbed me for it)
Written By Aiden
May 21, 2018, 9:23 p.m.(10/14/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Estaban
October 11th and 12th, my friend, you have two beautiful children. It should have been you that lifted up your daughter and your son with pride and joy in your eyes, but it had been me, as you asked me to. I admit life has been awfully busy of late, preparing for my own wedding, yet, I would not forget my promise to look after them. Your wife invited me along and I could not keep myself from going, which is why I've been away from Arx - a little unexpectedly I do say. I hope my betrothed doesn't think I had cold feet and slipped away!
Ahh Estaban, if only we could talk as we used to. I'd tell you that your daughter has your eyes and your son, has your damned good looks and I can tell he'll have that same mischievous smirk. He's already got the nursemaids wrapped around his little finger. Lucita picked good names for them too. Your daughter carries your name and your son, well, we both know that Killian was our friends. I'm sure he's smiling up there with you. As for the second name for your son, I'm very touched by the request you made of your wife to name him what you did.
They're so messy! Estie spit up on me already, you know that? That spit up should have been reserved for you, my dearest friend. Still, where ever you are now, I'll stand by them and teach them what their father knew and what he loved. I am not the best sailor, but you taught me enough to teach them. At the very least, I hope to provide them with fabulous stories of who their father was and I hope beyond hope, they will grow to have the strength of heart that you did.
But, I best get back to Arx, right? I have a wedding to catch and... I think it's my own!
Ahh Estaban, if only we could talk as we used to. I'd tell you that your daughter has your eyes and your son, has your damned good looks and I can tell he'll have that same mischievous smirk. He's already got the nursemaids wrapped around his little finger. Lucita picked good names for them too. Your daughter carries your name and your son, well, we both know that Killian was our friends. I'm sure he's smiling up there with you. As for the second name for your son, I'm very touched by the request you made of your wife to name him what you did.
They're so messy! Estie spit up on me already, you know that? That spit up should have been reserved for you, my dearest friend. Still, where ever you are now, I'll stand by them and teach them what their father knew and what he loved. I am not the best sailor, but you taught me enough to teach them. At the very least, I hope to provide them with fabulous stories of who their father was and I hope beyond hope, they will grow to have the strength of heart that you did.
But, I best get back to Arx, right? I have a wedding to catch and... I think it's my own!
Written By Lucita
April 8, 2018, 10:15 a.m.(7/7/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Estaban
I know you are gone, in the hands of the Queen of Endings, but still, in the quiet of night, smelling your scent on your pillow, seeing the flicker of flames in your favorite lantern, watching the play of shadows on the plushies you lovingly collected awaiting our child, I find myself whispering to you. It has been so hard since you are gone, Estie. Friends and family, even a few acquaintances have been providing support when I need it. Marcos and Doc have been there every time I've needed them You'd be proud of them.
I have had to give up wearing your shirt as a nightgown, it got too tight over my growing belly. The lessons of my younger years in composure and performance hold me in good stead. I'm getting better at putting up and maintaining a façade and restricting outward grief to the privacy of my room where I can indulge in letting go instead of hiding it. The effort of summoning a genuine smile or a little laugh now and then grows easier over time. Duty to the Barony, our family keeps me from brooding too much and is pushing me to go on with life, plan for the future, and prepare to meet the challenges facing me, and I am doing that, Estie. I'm doing as you wanted me to, as I have to.
The Iron Guard recognized you in a memorial. I took Gunther there and spoke of how your faithful dog had walked your patrols with you and of your dedication to duty. You have a plaque on a memorial wall there at the area outside the barracks. It is hard to say goodbye.
I have had to give up wearing your shirt as a nightgown, it got too tight over my growing belly. The lessons of my younger years in composure and performance hold me in good stead. I'm getting better at putting up and maintaining a façade and restricting outward grief to the privacy of my room where I can indulge in letting go instead of hiding it. The effort of summoning a genuine smile or a little laugh now and then grows easier over time. Duty to the Barony, our family keeps me from brooding too much and is pushing me to go on with life, plan for the future, and prepare to meet the challenges facing me, and I am doing that, Estie. I'm doing as you wanted me to, as I have to.
The Iron Guard recognized you in a memorial. I took Gunther there and spoke of how your faithful dog had walked your patrols with you and of your dedication to duty. You have a plaque on a memorial wall there at the area outside the barracks. It is hard to say goodbye.
Written By Aiden
April 4, 2018, 3:51 p.m.(6/27/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Estaban
You would probably be embarrassed to see such a painting of yourself, but after your blush faded, I'm sure you'd be proud of what this painting represents. I'll try to describe it to you, my friend.
------
Eyes the color of a bright sky look out from this
portrait, the gaze seeming to be looking at those
who pass by and measure them. The eyes of a guard,
an admiral, a protective brother and husband.
Baron Estaban Saik is shown upon the fore of the
vessel of his final command, dressed in the colors
of Southport with his Iron Guard insignia at his
belt. His youth and bravery are clear in his stance
and position, that of a leader ready to face down
what danger may come upon him and his crew. A cat
in the style of house Saik's sigil prowls the ship
with blue eyes that echo those of the Baron.
Surrounding the portrait are woven thinly braided
of seasilk, the edges of the sky and the water
having been painted to reflect a similar color
where the silken framing and the painting meet.
Then there's a plaque in the frame. I turn my finger over it and it hovers over the year in which you were taken from us, a year that many thousands died alongside you. It reads:
"In Memory of Baron Estaban Saik, AR 983-1008"
-----
Beautiful, isn't it...
Thank you Sparte.
------
Eyes the color of a bright sky look out from this
portrait, the gaze seeming to be looking at those
who pass by and measure them. The eyes of a guard,
an admiral, a protective brother and husband.
Baron Estaban Saik is shown upon the fore of the
vessel of his final command, dressed in the colors
of Southport with his Iron Guard insignia at his
belt. His youth and bravery are clear in his stance
and position, that of a leader ready to face down
what danger may come upon him and his crew. A cat
in the style of house Saik's sigil prowls the ship
with blue eyes that echo those of the Baron.
Surrounding the portrait are woven thinly braided
of seasilk, the edges of the sky and the water
having been painted to reflect a similar color
where the silken framing and the painting meet.
Then there's a plaque in the frame. I turn my finger over it and it hovers over the year in which you were taken from us, a year that many thousands died alongside you. It reads:
"In Memory of Baron Estaban Saik, AR 983-1008"
-----
Beautiful, isn't it...
Thank you Sparte.
Written By Merek
April 3, 2018, 11:16 a.m.(6/25/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Estaban
We never got to talk as much as I would like after a while. I still remember fighting with him along the Gates of Seawatch in Arx, along with Aiden. I am sorry that I could not be part of the battle you were in, but I'll cherish the memory of you.
Written By Aiden
March 26, 2018, 11:49 a.m.(6/7/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Estaban
The Sea Mist came into port, with trimmed sails and a slow glide under a banner of mourning. As I stood hearing her sailors responding to orders called to dock, I was overcome again by the great wave of despair washing over me, ceasing my very breath and pressing in around me. I thought I would drown and never surface.
But then a hand reached out to touch mine. Another steadied my shoulder.
I was not alone in this grief.
Estaban's family was there, knowing I needed them as much as they needed me. Those who wrote me letters were there too, supporting me in spirit for their worlds never stopped as mine surely felt it did. Together we watched with some sense of finality about it...
The gangplank was lowered and the first of the sailors off was the Captain and not long behind was the wooden box that now held my friend, to the sad bugle announcing the return of our Lion of Saik. I could not bear to stand there, despite the hands holding me. I went to help support his weight; to hoist the remains of my brother.
I had somehow hoped that they were wrong, that those who spoke of his loss confused him with another, that it wasn't true. But as I shouldered the weight of bringing the body that held him back to us, I felt the relief of all these days grieving...
He had come home and we could say our goodbyes.
The preparation for the pyre was something I let his family attend to, but I watched over it. Then when it was time, I finally had a chance to murmur my goodbye to him, to look upon what was left of the glorious strong man I had fought back to back with those few years ago.
I stood silently with him, for long hours, until Chalk landed upon my shoulder. My cousin Michael's raven, who has now decided to be with me. Chalk reminded me of what was and is.
I stood back, after a last embrace.
Then the comfort of Lagoma's last touch washed over our Lion...
--------------------------------
OOC: All this happened off camera, writing for closure.
But then a hand reached out to touch mine. Another steadied my shoulder.
I was not alone in this grief.
Estaban's family was there, knowing I needed them as much as they needed me. Those who wrote me letters were there too, supporting me in spirit for their worlds never stopped as mine surely felt it did. Together we watched with some sense of finality about it...
The gangplank was lowered and the first of the sailors off was the Captain and not long behind was the wooden box that now held my friend, to the sad bugle announcing the return of our Lion of Saik. I could not bear to stand there, despite the hands holding me. I went to help support his weight; to hoist the remains of my brother.
I had somehow hoped that they were wrong, that those who spoke of his loss confused him with another, that it wasn't true. But as I shouldered the weight of bringing the body that held him back to us, I felt the relief of all these days grieving...
He had come home and we could say our goodbyes.
The preparation for the pyre was something I let his family attend to, but I watched over it. Then when it was time, I finally had a chance to murmur my goodbye to him, to look upon what was left of the glorious strong man I had fought back to back with those few years ago.
I stood silently with him, for long hours, until Chalk landed upon my shoulder. My cousin Michael's raven, who has now decided to be with me. Chalk reminded me of what was and is.
I stood back, after a last embrace.
Then the comfort of Lagoma's last touch washed over our Lion...
--------------------------------
OOC: All this happened off camera, writing for closure.
Written By Luis
March 25, 2018, 11:14 p.m.(6/6/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Estaban
We had so many things we were waiting till 'after the war' to deal with. So many conversations, so many promises, so many things unsaid. I promised you that I would keep your betrothed safe, and she came back, unharmed, except broken. Broken in spirit and heart for the loss of the one whom meant so much to her.
Your loss is a tragedy that I would never wish upon any. I do not even know where to begin to help Lucita recover. I do not know that she can, but we shall be there for her. I will carry the oath I made with you to the grave and see that she will thrive, even if it is only upon your memories and spirit that she subsists.
Continue to fight well and may your travels be blessed and light. I shall keep my promise and see that it is a very long time before she finds you again, and you know I mean that in the best way possible.
Your loss is a tragedy that I would never wish upon any. I do not even know where to begin to help Lucita recover. I do not know that she can, but we shall be there for her. I will carry the oath I made with you to the grave and see that she will thrive, even if it is only upon your memories and spirit that she subsists.
Continue to fight well and may your travels be blessed and light. I shall keep my promise and see that it is a very long time before she finds you again, and you know I mean that in the best way possible.
Written By Aiden
March 23, 2018, 1:10 p.m.(6/1/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Estaban
I need to make this letter a record in my whites, not to hurt anyone, but to preserve the last thoughts he made before sailing into the storm...
I will miss you, my brother.
---------------------------
My dearest Aiden,
How you changed me I can never put into enough words, you taught me true friendship really was.
How I remember the first time I saw you and made you dance with my sister, how you were so shy and wanted nothing to do with her. I teased her so much about that and then she told me how you had both become friends and that you were a friend and sweet.
Then came the siege, I had only been in Arx a short time just become part of the Iron Guard. So much in my life was changing, I had always been a free adventuring sailor and here I found myself on the Seagate back to back with you and I would have it no other way. I think at that very moment I knew that we would be friends, that when I pushed you out of the way I sealed it.
We have had our ups and our downs and everything in between, I wish things had turned out different that I could be the one loving you so openly and yes I do love you. I have loved you for a long time; I just could never come out and say it or act on it for fear of hurting you and Silas. I would never be able to live with myself if I had.
Aiden I know that if you are reading this I am gone and I return to the wheel for another turn. Remember that I am proud of you Aiden; you have grown in so many ways and have accomplished so many things. I want you to continue doing them Aiden, continue growing and becoming the fine man I know you will be. Remember Aiden what we do today ripples down to tomorrow, our choices our decisions. They all have a lasting impact. The fact I had you as my friend, no my brother made the most impact on me and I hope that because of it I will find you again. I will miss you my friend.
With my Love,
Estaban
5/10/1008 AR.
I will miss you, my brother.
---------------------------
My dearest Aiden,
How you changed me I can never put into enough words, you taught me true friendship really was.
How I remember the first time I saw you and made you dance with my sister, how you were so shy and wanted nothing to do with her. I teased her so much about that and then she told me how you had both become friends and that you were a friend and sweet.
Then came the siege, I had only been in Arx a short time just become part of the Iron Guard. So much in my life was changing, I had always been a free adventuring sailor and here I found myself on the Seagate back to back with you and I would have it no other way. I think at that very moment I knew that we would be friends, that when I pushed you out of the way I sealed it.
We have had our ups and our downs and everything in between, I wish things had turned out different that I could be the one loving you so openly and yes I do love you. I have loved you for a long time; I just could never come out and say it or act on it for fear of hurting you and Silas. I would never be able to live with myself if I had.
Aiden I know that if you are reading this I am gone and I return to the wheel for another turn. Remember that I am proud of you Aiden; you have grown in so many ways and have accomplished so many things. I want you to continue doing them Aiden, continue growing and becoming the fine man I know you will be. Remember Aiden what we do today ripples down to tomorrow, our choices our decisions. They all have a lasting impact. The fact I had you as my friend, no my brother made the most impact on me and I hope that because of it I will find you again. I will miss you my friend.
With my Love,
Estaban
5/10/1008 AR.
Written By Silas
March 22, 2018, 2:32 a.m.(5/26/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Estaban
You, too, have come a long way from an eager young man man I met in the Malvici study -- and we still had much more to do. I regret not keeping in touch as much as I wanted to as both of our fortunes changed, and I will succinctly feel what we have lost when I finally get around to consuming that birthday wine you sent me.
I look forward to the day we meet again. I have no doubt that we will... but I still wish you were still here.
I look forward to the day we meet again. I have no doubt that we will... but I still wish you were still here.
Written By Marian
March 22, 2018, 12:46 a.m.(5/26/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Estaban
You were taken from us too soon my friend. I celebrate your contributions both on and off the battlefield. I mourn the loss of your company. If your family should ever need my sword in defense, they should call on me. Should your fellow Iron Guard need training, they have only to ask.
Written By Luca
March 22, 2018, 12:32 a.m.(5/26/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Estaban
Dear Esta,
I've been staring at this page for a while now, not really knowing how to start it. I tried to pay a drunk poet with pretty eyes I met at the Silk to write it for me, but when I told her who it was about, she started crying. My mistake. I should have known you'd charmed every heart in Setarco. You were good at doing that, even when we were younger. So I thought I would just write it.. to you. I never wrote you while you were alive, did I? I didn't need to. I could go months and months without seeing you, and the second we were back in the same room it was like we'd just been drinking together the night before.
You were ferocious in the first battle down here. I bragged on you so much. And what better person to share in the celebrations after we thought we'd won? I'm going to embarrass Saoirse with the story of how she ripped that arrow out of you at every dinner we have together. It's going to be a classic. But, because you were a man of your word, I'll make sure she gets the new dress you promised her too. I'll do that, and you can consider us squared. A dress against part of a lifetime's worth of owing you drinks you were too much of a gentleman to collect on.
I don't know if it shows, but I'm trying hard not to feel.. sad, or angry about this. I feel robbed of you. When the tides of that second battle started to turn, I was already envisioning our return to port, imagining how we could top the first celebration. It would have been hard, but a couple old hands at making trouble like us could have managed it, I think. Together.
We were all robbed of you, my friend. Too soon.
Your heart was equal parts love and adventure (and mischief, I remember well. Don't do the math on that). So I will do my best to grin like I would if you were still here. If this had all worked out differently. If we were set up in the Silk again for the second time, after another hard-won battle. You would be working hard right now to make sure Ribbons was incensed with me when she inevitably found me passed out somewhere, too drunk to make it back to the ship. I'd be working harder to make sure she found both of us there, because I was the better fighter, but you were always the better drinker.
You were also the better friend.
The better person, really.
I meant what I said. No one may harm us unpunished. You know the motto well. And I have been struck a grievous wound by your passing. So I can't grin away all the anger I'm feeling, not like I know you would want. I promise you, if anyone yet remains who had a hand in the circumstances that led to your early return to the Queen's embrace, I will remind them of why you were the better person. And why I am not.
Consider this my first, and last letter to you. Save me a bottle, won't you? And a seat.
Your Friend,
Luca
P.S. - Don't worry overly about Arcelia. I will try and check in on her, from time to time. If anyone harms one hair on her head, they'll suffer.
I've been staring at this page for a while now, not really knowing how to start it. I tried to pay a drunk poet with pretty eyes I met at the Silk to write it for me, but when I told her who it was about, she started crying. My mistake. I should have known you'd charmed every heart in Setarco. You were good at doing that, even when we were younger. So I thought I would just write it.. to you. I never wrote you while you were alive, did I? I didn't need to. I could go months and months without seeing you, and the second we were back in the same room it was like we'd just been drinking together the night before.
You were ferocious in the first battle down here. I bragged on you so much. And what better person to share in the celebrations after we thought we'd won? I'm going to embarrass Saoirse with the story of how she ripped that arrow out of you at every dinner we have together. It's going to be a classic. But, because you were a man of your word, I'll make sure she gets the new dress you promised her too. I'll do that, and you can consider us squared. A dress against part of a lifetime's worth of owing you drinks you were too much of a gentleman to collect on.
I don't know if it shows, but I'm trying hard not to feel.. sad, or angry about this. I feel robbed of you. When the tides of that second battle started to turn, I was already envisioning our return to port, imagining how we could top the first celebration. It would have been hard, but a couple old hands at making trouble like us could have managed it, I think. Together.
We were all robbed of you, my friend. Too soon.
Your heart was equal parts love and adventure (and mischief, I remember well. Don't do the math on that). So I will do my best to grin like I would if you were still here. If this had all worked out differently. If we were set up in the Silk again for the second time, after another hard-won battle. You would be working hard right now to make sure Ribbons was incensed with me when she inevitably found me passed out somewhere, too drunk to make it back to the ship. I'd be working harder to make sure she found both of us there, because I was the better fighter, but you were always the better drinker.
You were also the better friend.
The better person, really.
I meant what I said. No one may harm us unpunished. You know the motto well. And I have been struck a grievous wound by your passing. So I can't grin away all the anger I'm feeling, not like I know you would want. I promise you, if anyone yet remains who had a hand in the circumstances that led to your early return to the Queen's embrace, I will remind them of why you were the better person. And why I am not.
Consider this my first, and last letter to you. Save me a bottle, won't you? And a seat.
Your Friend,
Luca
P.S. - Don't worry overly about Arcelia. I will try and check in on her, from time to time. If anyone harms one hair on her head, they'll suffer.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.