Written By Esoka
April 8, 2018, 11:05 p.m.(7/8/1008 AR)
The Festival of Colors was fun! I defended the Southern Dunes with Sir Jeffeth, Lord Islin, Lady Fianna, and Lady Amarantha. I think. There weren't formal sides and we mostly just threw a lot of eggs with colored powder inside at each other. I'm never sure I'm particularly good at honoring Jayus. I'm not crafty or particularly good at pretty things. But I felt bright and joyous during this whole thing, which I think is good enough for the gods. All honors to Blessed Wylla and Princess Marian for organizing this fine game.
Written By Esoka
April 7, 2018, 3:19 p.m.(7/5/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Reigna
Being a common knight means I must word my white reflection on this matter very carefully, lest it reflect poorly on my reputation, cause a risk to my position, and bring dishonor upon my lieges.
Being noble means you probably did not consider this when you asked this question. By which I mean no insult, I just think it true. I do think it's a valuable one, for all that, which is why I've spent ink on it.
Being noble means you probably did not consider this when you asked this question. By which I mean no insult, I just think it true. I do think it's a valuable one, for all that, which is why I've spent ink on it.
Written By Esoka
April 1, 2018, 7:18 p.m.(6/22/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Preston
I'm not always at ease with the Orthodox members of the godsworn. I've lived all my time in the Compact in the Crownlands and feel my relationship with the Faith might've been very different if I'd bent the knee among the Valardins. During my time with the Templars, though, I've come to respect Sir Preston's dedication and commitment to Gloria's ideals deeply. The losses suffered at Stormwall were heavy all around, and were felt starkly among the Swords of the Faith. The task ahead of him is not an easy one but he shoulders the burdens of it ably and without complaint. I hope I can be of service as one of Gloria's disciples in the rebuilding and honoring of those Templars who fell.
Written By Esoka
March 31, 2018, 2:36 p.m.(6/19/1008 AR)
Blessed Aleksei has introduced me to a card game in which you can glare at people and try to convince them your cards are less terrible than they truly are. Legate Orazio and Mistress Shard are better at it than I am, but I've decided I enjoy it. Even if the cards I got were broken.
Written By Esoka
March 25, 2018, 10:27 p.m.(6/6/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Thena
I've seen Thena Grayhope take on the vows of knight and godsworn with as much strength and dedication as any woman in Arvum. I've no doubt she'll shoulder the duties of Grandmaster of the Solace with honor. More than that, I'm proud to call her my friend.
Written By Esoka
March 21, 2018, 8:21 p.m.(5/26/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Eirlys
I have written a full account of the Battle of Stormwall in my black reflections, but the main point I wish to leave for history and Vellichor is this.
Eirlys Greenmarch is a hero and the only reason the demon who set upon me and so many others was slain. Her sacrifice saved my life and, to my view, the lives of every other warrior who faced that thing. Whatever our skills or whatever was within us, it was her death that saved us. There has been much talk of that fight, but this is the part I shall not forget and no one else should forget it, either.
Eirlys Greenmarch is a hero and the only reason the demon who set upon me and so many others was slain. Her sacrifice saved my life and, to my view, the lives of every other warrior who faced that thing. Whatever our skills or whatever was within us, it was her death that saved us. There has been much talk of that fight, but this is the part I shall not forget and no one else should forget it, either.
Written By Esoka
March 18, 2018, 12:15 a.m.(5/18/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Armel
My friendship with Grandmaster Armel was not an easy one to come to, but it was deep and true when we arrived there. I regret how long it had been since we talked and drank together, and that we did not one more time before he fell defending the field at Stormwall. I will remember the depth of his faith, his surprising resources of compassion, and his commitment to the charity and defense of civilization that are the heart of Gild's virtues. Whether you find rest or a new life upon the Wheel, may it bring you happiness.
Written By Esoka
March 17, 2018, 12:57 a.m.(5/16/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Eirlys
Eirlys Greenmarch, beloved of the Spirits and devotee of the Pantheon, gave her life for me upon the fields of Stormwall. It shall not be forgotten. We have vengeance upon her killer and shall honor her memory, I swear to all gods who can hear me.
Written By Esoka
March 15, 2018, 1:41 a.m.(5/12/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Calaudrin
Well, if you need me to, I suppose I'll HAVE to come back alive. I'd not want to think how you'd get along without me now.
I love you, too, obviously. Gild help you keep the city in one piece while we're off at Stormwall. I intend to be married to you for a very long time yet, so I'll do my best to get back soon.
If I've time, I'll try and do a little hunting. I still think you'd look good in a furry hat.
I love you, too, obviously. Gild help you keep the city in one piece while we're off at Stormwall. I intend to be married to you for a very long time yet, so I'll do my best to get back soon.
If I've time, I'll try and do a little hunting. I still think you'd look good in a furry hat.
Written By Esoka
March 11, 2018, 11:08 p.m.(5/6/1008 AR)
I want to write about getting married. I've sat down to do it many times over the past fortnight, but everything I put down on paper seems too sugary or too simple when I read it back to myself. Maybe this will be, too, but it's very important to me, so it's time I get it down before I'm to march Northward. If it's not said perfectly, I guess that's fitting.
The virtues of Limerance have been ones I've always felt clear on how to aspire to. My bonds with my kin and tribe, and later my oaths to the Rivens, gave my life and service purpose. I don't always feel I'm the best knight, but the vows I took when I became one shape how I conduct myself as a warrior in ways I think are good and right. I have always honored the fidelity of Limerance, and even felt Him as the god of love, for some of my oaths bound me to things I care for deeply.
When others sent prayers of romantic love to Him, though, I always privately thought it rather silly. I didn't think one had much to do with true fidelity or the more powerful things that held my oaths. What I thought I felt as 'love' as a teenage girl I now look back on as shallow and embarrassing. Over the years I've known passion and good friendship with many of the men who've shared my bed, but it never held my soul beyond that. My life seemed full enough without all that.
I don't know when I began to want more with Calaudrin Estardes. It feels a thing that happened so slowly I did not realize it had wrapped itself around the shape of my life until it had changed it in ways I couldn't undo. Did not want to undo. We've been lovers for over two years now, since the Siege of Arx, and in that time he's become one of the best friends I've ever had, one of the sturdiest soldiers I'd ever want beside me in battle, and a source of comfort and steadiness when everything else around me seems wrong. He's brave and funny and decent in a way that's rarer among men than I think he knows. When I picture my life two years from now, or twenty, I cannot see it without him in it. When I picture the children I want, I can't see their features without pieces of him in them. Even if they get his nose. I happen to think it's rather handsome.
We aren't highborn and we know no pressures to have heirs or cement alliances great houses and all of that. We're just common people and it matters to none but us if we ever marry or not. When he asked me, though, I felt very powerfully that I DID want the oaths. I wanted to honor the fidelity we shared, that was passion but so many other things, too. It is as important to me as my vows of knighthood or my vows to my liege Countess, and I wanted to give it a place equal to them in my own heart.
And, so, I'm married now. I'm happy in it so far, and I think we're doing all right by each other. I promise I'll uphold the vows I've taken as best my heart can.
The virtues of Limerance have been ones I've always felt clear on how to aspire to. My bonds with my kin and tribe, and later my oaths to the Rivens, gave my life and service purpose. I don't always feel I'm the best knight, but the vows I took when I became one shape how I conduct myself as a warrior in ways I think are good and right. I have always honored the fidelity of Limerance, and even felt Him as the god of love, for some of my oaths bound me to things I care for deeply.
When others sent prayers of romantic love to Him, though, I always privately thought it rather silly. I didn't think one had much to do with true fidelity or the more powerful things that held my oaths. What I thought I felt as 'love' as a teenage girl I now look back on as shallow and embarrassing. Over the years I've known passion and good friendship with many of the men who've shared my bed, but it never held my soul beyond that. My life seemed full enough without all that.
I don't know when I began to want more with Calaudrin Estardes. It feels a thing that happened so slowly I did not realize it had wrapped itself around the shape of my life until it had changed it in ways I couldn't undo. Did not want to undo. We've been lovers for over two years now, since the Siege of Arx, and in that time he's become one of the best friends I've ever had, one of the sturdiest soldiers I'd ever want beside me in battle, and a source of comfort and steadiness when everything else around me seems wrong. He's brave and funny and decent in a way that's rarer among men than I think he knows. When I picture my life two years from now, or twenty, I cannot see it without him in it. When I picture the children I want, I can't see their features without pieces of him in them. Even if they get his nose. I happen to think it's rather handsome.
We aren't highborn and we know no pressures to have heirs or cement alliances great houses and all of that. We're just common people and it matters to none but us if we ever marry or not. When he asked me, though, I felt very powerfully that I DID want the oaths. I wanted to honor the fidelity we shared, that was passion but so many other things, too. It is as important to me as my vows of knighthood or my vows to my liege Countess, and I wanted to give it a place equal to them in my own heart.
And, so, I'm married now. I'm happy in it so far, and I think we're doing all right by each other. I promise I'll uphold the vows I've taken as best my heart can.
Written By Esoka
March 9, 2018, 9:49 p.m.(5/2/1008 AR)
I have spent much time in the shrine of Mangata this week. My prayers go to all the Pantheon as I prepare for the clash against the forces of the Pirate King, but I am conscious that it is the goddess of air and tides that I fight for particularly. Her dread enemy threatens our shores, and by defeating it, we shall renew Her strength and strike a blow at those who shadow Her.
Whenever my heart prays to Mangata, they are prayers for home. For me, she has always been the goddess of the rivers I grew up on. The shores of the Son and Daughter were our fishing grounds that sustained us. I learned to swim in their depths, and my first fights were in defending our hunting grounds along them. Petrichor may be the god of the hearth but, for me, Mangata's currents have always carried me without fail toward a place I call home. I pray they shall carry me back to my hearth and those I love after this battle at Stormwall is over and done.
My sword goes with the blessing of Archlector Madeleine, on my lips is the taste of the goddess's spring wine, and in my heart assurance that the winds that blow me northward shall soon return me, one way or another. I am sustained, lady of winds and tides, and I shall fight for you with all that's within me.
Whenever my heart prays to Mangata, they are prayers for home. For me, she has always been the goddess of the rivers I grew up on. The shores of the Son and Daughter were our fishing grounds that sustained us. I learned to swim in their depths, and my first fights were in defending our hunting grounds along them. Petrichor may be the god of the hearth but, for me, Mangata's currents have always carried me without fail toward a place I call home. I pray they shall carry me back to my hearth and those I love after this battle at Stormwall is over and done.
My sword goes with the blessing of Archlector Madeleine, on my lips is the taste of the goddess's spring wine, and in my heart assurance that the winds that blow me northward shall soon return me, one way or another. I am sustained, lady of winds and tides, and I shall fight for you with all that's within me.
Written By Esoka
March 6, 2018, 10:59 p.m.(4/24/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Calaudrin
My will is in my black reflections. All of which, including that, I give Calaudrin Estardes and also Greenblood leave to read if I fall.
But not before then. It's better that way.
But not before then. It's better that way.
Written By Esoka
March 4, 2018, 2:43 a.m.(4/18/1008 AR)
The knights of Riven are as ready as they can be for the march North, to join the war effort in the Crovane lands. I shall ride with them, at the head of Riven's cavalry and under the banner of my Countess and Warchief. It seems not so long ago that I rode into this city with Thesarin to bolster the Compact army that would face Tolamar Brand during the siege of Arx. And yet, it seems a lifetime ago. The shape of my life is different now than it was then. The things I fight for - the friends, the commitments to Faith and fealty, and the man I now call my husband - have grown and deepened. I feel older and it feels heavier, but the age and weight is of the good kind. It gives me more to fight for, and a thousand reasons to come home at the end of this.
To Gloria, my prayers for courage and a bold heart in the face of a monstrous foe. To Limerance, may my mind remain focused and my heart stalwart and true in what I fight for. To Mangata, lady of the waves and tides, may we do your work well and cleanse your waters of this enemy.
To Gloria, my prayers for courage and a bold heart in the face of a monstrous foe. To Limerance, may my mind remain focused and my heart stalwart and true in what I fight for. To Mangata, lady of the waves and tides, may we do your work well and cleanse your waters of this enemy.
Written By Esoka
March 3, 2018, 2:45 p.m.(4/17/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Saya
I am now the proud owner of one of Mistress Saya's works. A linen tunic sewn with blue-green leaves, of beautiful make. It puts me in mind of the Gray Forest, and the colors that are made when the sun reflects through the leaves and plays off the water. As I prepare to march to war, I am holding tight to the moments when I don't need to armor myself from the blows of foes, but may wear something light and pretty that puts me in mind of growth, rather than destruction.
Written By Esoka
Feb. 25, 2018, 11:54 p.m.(4/6/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Tikva
My love to my friend, Tikva who is now Grayson, on the day of the birth of her new son. May he grow as strong and steadfast as his mother.
Written By Esoka
Feb. 24, 2018, 10:13 p.m.(4/4/1008 AR)
All honors to Blessed Roran and Blessed Aleksei, and all those who spoke and made offerings to our Lady of Change. I feel like I witnessed something beautiful and bright tonight. I cannot even put it into words, and I do understand it, but I shall hold the light and warmth of it to my soul in dark times to come.
Written By Esoka
Feb. 21, 2018, 1:05 a.m.(3/24/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Thesarin
I appreciate the clarification, for I confess I noted your earlier reflection and had been pondering my own response to it. Not all beyond the Compact worship spirits, and this is a misconception I deal with quite often as one who holds the Pantheon in her heart. And ever has. I respect the power of spirits and find no quarrel with those who venerate them, but that has never been my path. I learned of Gloria on my grandfather's knee, and I'm not the only prodigal who has such a tale.
Also, I would never pray to Gloria for victory. Perhaps some do, and I'll not quarrel wit them, either, but that also isn't me. I pray for the courage to ride into a battle where the odds are against me. I pray for the resolve to put the lives of my comrades or my cause ahead of my own blood, if it comes to it. And I pray that I conduct myself with honor, as much as a warrior in the thick of battle can. I pray for the virtues which I often lack. I figure I and my commanders have to take care of the victory part ourselves.
Also, I would never pray to Gloria for victory. Perhaps some do, and I'll not quarrel wit them, either, but that also isn't me. I pray for the courage to ride into a battle where the odds are against me. I pray for the resolve to put the lives of my comrades or my cause ahead of my own blood, if it comes to it. And I pray that I conduct myself with honor, as much as a warrior in the thick of battle can. I pray for the virtues which I often lack. I figure I and my commanders have to take care of the victory part ourselves.
Written By Esoka
Feb. 18, 2018, 11:51 a.m.(3/19/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Emily
I've been honored to become better acquainted with Lady Emily Deepwood over the past week. We spoke about ways I might aid in drilling her rangers, and other matters of military training. And, more lightly, I had much fun in the party she helped host at the Deepwood Manor. I managed to come in first in the skating race she hosted. I wasn't sure about those bladed things at first, but they're very good for speed, and I may attempt to incorporate blades into my daily travels somehow. It is good to see House Deepwood strengthened by good allies like this, and I hope we'll have many chances to work together in the future.
Written By Esoka
Feb. 13, 2018, 3:45 p.m.(3/3/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Magpie
You'd make a more honorable Sword than many I could name.
As a Sword who is not highborn, I'm professionally curious. Will the lounge blade have a fearsome name?
As a Sword who is not highborn, I'm professionally curious. Will the lounge blade have a fearsome name?
Written By Esoka
Feb. 13, 2018, 12:59 p.m.(3/3/1008 AR)
There aren't many things I consider myself very knowledgeable on, and I've no particular interest in putting down my opinion on either former scholar Esra or Master Costas in the whites. The Sentinel and the Queen of Endings will have the final say on the pair of them, one immediately, one inevitably as comes for us all. The justice and judgment of the rest of us, I've always found to be very imperfect, even among those who try their best. I do know a little bit about being a House Sword, though, so I'll write on what that means to me. It's important to me, even if it's important to no one else, and I want to get my thoughts on it down for the record.
I was granted Riven's heirloom weapon, the Twain, near two years ago, following the end of the Siege of Arx. I don't think I did any great acts of heroism in that battle to earn it, but I did my bit and am proud to be one of many who held the gates when the Silent Army came. Before that, I'd been a knight of the House for near 10 years, and a warrior undubbed years before that. So, I could manage a blade well enough, and had made a decent account of myself through my years of service. That's no stirring tale, but it's mine, and I hope I've continued to serve in good order since taking up the Twain.
I did not see the Twain as a personal honor or sign of my martial prowess. I'm sure there are warriors in the Twainfort who could best me in combat as often as not. I saw it then, and see it now, as an obligation to protect those sworn to my Countess and uphold the House's honor. I would never use the Twain to settle a personal matter, or fight over a petty slight, or to bully a weaker opponent, or do any act which is deemed wicked by the Faith or Crown. And, I pray to Gloria and Limerance, I shall never use it in a way that brings dishonor upon me, for that would be a shadow on Riven as well. I would fully expect to be dismissed, from the title and perhaps more, should I bring disgrace upon the heirloom blade.
That's what being a Sword means to me, at least. Maybe it means different things to others. Different men and women guard their honor and that of those they serve as they will. But the events of the past days made me wish to reaffirm my own commitments and so, by Limerance and Gloria, and set down in Vellichor's archives, I do so. If I fail in this, I expect to know it quickly and penance be demanded of me, for I'd be unworthy if I was held to a lower standard.
I was granted Riven's heirloom weapon, the Twain, near two years ago, following the end of the Siege of Arx. I don't think I did any great acts of heroism in that battle to earn it, but I did my bit and am proud to be one of many who held the gates when the Silent Army came. Before that, I'd been a knight of the House for near 10 years, and a warrior undubbed years before that. So, I could manage a blade well enough, and had made a decent account of myself through my years of service. That's no stirring tale, but it's mine, and I hope I've continued to serve in good order since taking up the Twain.
I did not see the Twain as a personal honor or sign of my martial prowess. I'm sure there are warriors in the Twainfort who could best me in combat as often as not. I saw it then, and see it now, as an obligation to protect those sworn to my Countess and uphold the House's honor. I would never use the Twain to settle a personal matter, or fight over a petty slight, or to bully a weaker opponent, or do any act which is deemed wicked by the Faith or Crown. And, I pray to Gloria and Limerance, I shall never use it in a way that brings dishonor upon me, for that would be a shadow on Riven as well. I would fully expect to be dismissed, from the title and perhaps more, should I bring disgrace upon the heirloom blade.
That's what being a Sword means to me, at least. Maybe it means different things to others. Different men and women guard their honor and that of those they serve as they will. But the events of the past days made me wish to reaffirm my own commitments and so, by Limerance and Gloria, and set down in Vellichor's archives, I do so. If I fail in this, I expect to know it quickly and penance be demanded of me, for I'd be unworthy if I was held to a lower standard.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.