Written By Vanora
Aug. 17, 2018, 7:31 p.m.(6/1/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Harald
Valdemar told me all of the supportive and flattering things that my father in law said of me when they spoke the other evening.
He'll never know I know because he doesn't read the whites (Harald doesn't). But I do know. I'm growing on him.
He'll never know I know because he doesn't read the whites (Harald doesn't). But I do know. I'm growing on him.
Written By Vanora
Aug. 17, 2018, 7:29 p.m.(6/1/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Belladonna
My beloved cousin, whenever I see her I vow that it should not be so long in between our visits because her company pleases me so.
It should not be so long between our visits.
It should not be so long between our visits.
Written By Vanora
Aug. 13, 2018, 8:41 p.m.(5/22/1009 AR)
It strikes me that if I were to ever remove their bracelets at the same time I could actually get them confused. Can you imagine?
The wrong brother would be Duke one day. Wouldn't that be awkward?
The wrong brother would be Duke one day. Wouldn't that be awkward?
Written By Vanora
Aug. 10, 2018, 11:39 p.m.(5/16/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Eleyna
Let this be entered into the record:
I, Lady Vanora Grimhall, along with their father Valdemar Grimhall declare:
Lord Arkyn Grimhall will have for his First Liar the Archduchess Eleyna Velenosa.
Lord Antony Grimhall will have for his First Liar the Archduke-Consort Talen Velenosa.
Let them grow to be wise and cunning just as they grow to be strong.
I, Lady Vanora Grimhall, along with their father Valdemar Grimhall declare:
Lord Arkyn Grimhall will have for his First Liar the Archduchess Eleyna Velenosa.
Lord Antony Grimhall will have for his First Liar the Archduke-Consort Talen Velenosa.
Let them grow to be wise and cunning just as they grow to be strong.
Written By Vanora
Aug. 10, 2018, 1:27 p.m.(5/15/1009 AR)
I wonder if it is true that there was an old Goddess who claimed as her domains the sea and the sky, as Mangata does, but also love.
I can see how they'd go together, love and the sea.
I can see how they'd go together, love and the sea.
Written By Vanora
Aug. 9, 2018, 8:02 p.m.(5/14/1009 AR)
There is a feeling of dread so quick in the air that it is crushing.
I wonder if everyone feels it or just I do...if something terrible is going to happen....or just something terrible to me, or someone I life.
So nervous and for something I've done before. I feel foolish.
And afraid.
I wonder if everyone feels it or just I do...if something terrible is going to happen....or just something terrible to me, or someone I life.
So nervous and for something I've done before. I feel foolish.
And afraid.
Written By Vanora
Aug. 8, 2018, 9:32 p.m.(5/12/1009 AR)
I've been so exhausted. So. Exhausted. I'm sure some of it is the pregnancy and thus imagine it will be better relatively soon.
I'm growing concerned that we did not leave in time to get to Grihem's Point.
What I wish to write about however was the gathering we held to celebrate the new practice yard that was built in the Grimhall Longhouse. With men being such as they are, and with Valdemar likely to run drills with the Mirrorguard now and again too, it seemed good to have somewhere close to home.
It was not my crowning achievement as a hostess. There were some miscommunications about timing, and then about armor requirements (though I did try to make those clear on the invitations.) My father-in-law ended up unable to participate and I felt like I was running in circles. I did try to greet as many guests as I could, and thank them for attending, before the free for all was underway. It was chaotic, and I smiled to watch Valdemar do so well, but in the end the night was not his. One shift in footing is all it takes...and that frightens me to see actually happening before me. For it's easy then to imagine what they see when it is not a sparring ring, and one misstep does not lead one to have to yield, but leaves them dead.
Ugh, terrible, and morbid. My thoughts are racing, and I hope I'm able to settle them and get some sleep.
I'm growing concerned that we did not leave in time to get to Grihem's Point.
What I wish to write about however was the gathering we held to celebrate the new practice yard that was built in the Grimhall Longhouse. With men being such as they are, and with Valdemar likely to run drills with the Mirrorguard now and again too, it seemed good to have somewhere close to home.
It was not my crowning achievement as a hostess. There were some miscommunications about timing, and then about armor requirements (though I did try to make those clear on the invitations.) My father-in-law ended up unable to participate and I felt like I was running in circles. I did try to greet as many guests as I could, and thank them for attending, before the free for all was underway. It was chaotic, and I smiled to watch Valdemar do so well, but in the end the night was not his. One shift in footing is all it takes...and that frightens me to see actually happening before me. For it's easy then to imagine what they see when it is not a sparring ring, and one misstep does not lead one to have to yield, but leaves them dead.
Ugh, terrible, and morbid. My thoughts are racing, and I hope I'm able to settle them and get some sleep.
Written By Vanora
Aug. 4, 2018, 5:51 p.m.(4/27/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Valdemar
Beloved,
I am as proud of you in this moment than I can ever remember being. I could list the qualities that I admire about you and they might sound sweet and be worthy of anniversary toasts and the like.
However I wish to convey, to you, to our son when he reads these one day...that it is not our accomplishments but our accomplishments combined with our reactions to them that make up who we are. You and your family have gone through trying times, which I pray are slowly becoming less trying. You have had to reevaluate the relationships around you, and lost people who mattered to you. I never forget that I play no small part in this, that I cost you the camaraderie of old sailing companions, that you might have this marriage.
If I had the power to, I would have begged Eleyna to take you under her wing perhaps, to help us get onto our feet...and out of love, especially if a plan presented itself, she would have.
Yet this I had no control over, no influence over, beyond one suggestion to you months ago. You were approached by the Mirrorguard because they know you to be a worthy member, skilled at fighting but also at leading. You were named to that position as the best man for the job. I am proud of you for being that man. Proud of you for being as tenacious as I am.
We are well matched, my dear one.
I am as proud of you in this moment than I can ever remember being. I could list the qualities that I admire about you and they might sound sweet and be worthy of anniversary toasts and the like.
However I wish to convey, to you, to our son when he reads these one day...that it is not our accomplishments but our accomplishments combined with our reactions to them that make up who we are. You and your family have gone through trying times, which I pray are slowly becoming less trying. You have had to reevaluate the relationships around you, and lost people who mattered to you. I never forget that I play no small part in this, that I cost you the camaraderie of old sailing companions, that you might have this marriage.
If I had the power to, I would have begged Eleyna to take you under her wing perhaps, to help us get onto our feet...and out of love, especially if a plan presented itself, she would have.
Yet this I had no control over, no influence over, beyond one suggestion to you months ago. You were approached by the Mirrorguard because they know you to be a worthy member, skilled at fighting but also at leading. You were named to that position as the best man for the job. I am proud of you for being that man. Proud of you for being as tenacious as I am.
We are well matched, my dear one.
Written By Vanora
Aug. 4, 2018, 5:24 p.m.(4/27/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Cassima
It was so good to catch up with an old friend for even a few hours and let the hot springs handle this aching back.
I emerged feeling reborn almost, freshly clean, smoothly scented, the day mine to take on at whim.
I emerged feeling reborn almost, freshly clean, smoothly scented, the day mine to take on at whim.
Written By Vanora
Aug. 4, 2018, 2:21 a.m.(4/26/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Calypso
You are lovely and I'm always so pleased when we get to visit with you, even if it is only for a short while.
I hope the stretch between isn't so long this time.
I hope the stretch between isn't so long this time.
Written By Vanora
Aug. 4, 2018, 2:20 a.m.(4/26/1009 AR)
A List: Thirteen things that I would enjoy right now
1. Hot bath, extra scalding, flower-scented oils
2. New dress, something silk and airy enough to hide my figure while still keeping me cool
3. New Tiara: Oh wait I have one, thank you Mirari.
4. Hugging Mirari, because she's so lovely.
5. A nap on the beach, some afternoon when the sun is high.
6-13. To jump into the future and no longer be with child.
So Exhausting
1. Hot bath, extra scalding, flower-scented oils
2. New dress, something silk and airy enough to hide my figure while still keeping me cool
3. New Tiara: Oh wait I have one, thank you Mirari.
4. Hugging Mirari, because she's so lovely.
5. A nap on the beach, some afternoon when the sun is high.
6-13. To jump into the future and no longer be with child.
So Exhausting
Written By Vanora
Aug. 4, 2018, 2:17 a.m.(4/26/1009 AR)
My dear little one,
Let me tell you about the world around you, three months or so before you join us here, your awaiting family.
Your family is House Grimhall of Grihem's Point, one of the oldest and proudest Houses in the Mourning Isles. It comes with shadows as all family names do, those whose deeds we seek to emulate and those whom we vow to never be anything like. The truth is we all end up somewhere in the middle...it is the seeking each day again and again to do what you feel is right that makes you into a man, into a human being. When you err, remember that. The error is in the past as soon as you acknowledge it, and your ability to change the world around you renewed with every decision.
Your family is House Grimhall of Grihem's Point, a lineage that I have learned does come directly from Grihem the Explorer, a man described in old legends as 'fearless'. Your family motto 'Fear is the Guardian of Hate' I have considered many times, never certain if I understand it appropriately or not. I'm sure your father and grandfather, your aunts and uncles and cousins, will all share their versions of the motto, or what they inspire. I think at its most basic, the words remind you not to let fear get the best of you, for fear can lead to hate and hate is further from rationality. Though sometimes I convince myself of entirely different meanings.
Your family is House Grimhall of Grihem's Point, which makes you even more so than most a creature who will grow between two times and two worlds. The traditionalists and progressives of the Isles continue to have ideological clashes and resentment breeds deep...but so too do we understand that the question of 'will we survive and how' must be answered before 'how will we govern our people.' You are the future, born in the traditionalism of the past. What you grow up to be I think, is someone no one has fully imagined yet.
Let me tell you about the world around you, three months or so before you join us here, your awaiting family.
Your family is House Grimhall of Grihem's Point, one of the oldest and proudest Houses in the Mourning Isles. It comes with shadows as all family names do, those whose deeds we seek to emulate and those whom we vow to never be anything like. The truth is we all end up somewhere in the middle...it is the seeking each day again and again to do what you feel is right that makes you into a man, into a human being. When you err, remember that. The error is in the past as soon as you acknowledge it, and your ability to change the world around you renewed with every decision.
Your family is House Grimhall of Grihem's Point, a lineage that I have learned does come directly from Grihem the Explorer, a man described in old legends as 'fearless'. Your family motto 'Fear is the Guardian of Hate' I have considered many times, never certain if I understand it appropriately or not. I'm sure your father and grandfather, your aunts and uncles and cousins, will all share their versions of the motto, or what they inspire. I think at its most basic, the words remind you not to let fear get the best of you, for fear can lead to hate and hate is further from rationality. Though sometimes I convince myself of entirely different meanings.
Your family is House Grimhall of Grihem's Point, which makes you even more so than most a creature who will grow between two times and two worlds. The traditionalists and progressives of the Isles continue to have ideological clashes and resentment breeds deep...but so too do we understand that the question of 'will we survive and how' must be answered before 'how will we govern our people.' You are the future, born in the traditionalism of the past. What you grow up to be I think, is someone no one has fully imagined yet.
Written By Vanora
July 26, 2018, 11:59 p.m.(4/9/1009 AR)
My heart goes out to those who are suffering as more families struggle through change.
I'm sure we can all agree how fortunate, indeed how Blessed we are to have the Most Holy Dominus Aldwin, closest to the Gods, to navigate through these situations when it is required.
I remain eternally grateful.
I'm sure we can all agree how fortunate, indeed how Blessed we are to have the Most Holy Dominus Aldwin, closest to the Gods, to navigate through these situations when it is required.
I remain eternally grateful.
Written By Vanora
July 21, 2018, 4:49 p.m.(3/26/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Harald
My relationship with my father, Zacharie Pravus, is a complicated one for so many reasons that I've mused over countless times in my Blacks.
I did not really grow up with his guidance, and thus others stepped in to fill the role. My uncle Niccolo, who played surrogate father for so many of us when we were children, always went out of his way to make me feel welcome. A part of the family. It meant the world even when I was very young.
I have always craved family, all the more since my own was not harmonious. I saw the love, loyalty, and affection my cousins knew in their own homes and craved it.
The Grim Duke does not have a reputation for warmth, yet he does have one for family. I know of so many who he has taken under his wing of sorts, who consider him like a father, an uncle, extended kin. His halls have been quieter of late, but they are starting to return to what they were...a home where many found welcome. It is only recently that I've started to truly know him, to get used to him, to see why those of us who might feel lost, or stray, can find acceptance here.
I wish that more people could see and understand the Grimhalls as I have come to, though I think they don't share that wish. It matters little to them whether they are accepted or maligned by most of Arx, by the 'mainland' as it were.
I am happier now than I can remember being...perhaps ever. And I am deeply loyal to those who have given me that happiness and protected it.
I did not really grow up with his guidance, and thus others stepped in to fill the role. My uncle Niccolo, who played surrogate father for so many of us when we were children, always went out of his way to make me feel welcome. A part of the family. It meant the world even when I was very young.
I have always craved family, all the more since my own was not harmonious. I saw the love, loyalty, and affection my cousins knew in their own homes and craved it.
The Grim Duke does not have a reputation for warmth, yet he does have one for family. I know of so many who he has taken under his wing of sorts, who consider him like a father, an uncle, extended kin. His halls have been quieter of late, but they are starting to return to what they were...a home where many found welcome. It is only recently that I've started to truly know him, to get used to him, to see why those of us who might feel lost, or stray, can find acceptance here.
I wish that more people could see and understand the Grimhalls as I have come to, though I think they don't share that wish. It matters little to them whether they are accepted or maligned by most of Arx, by the 'mainland' as it were.
I am happier now than I can remember being...perhaps ever. And I am deeply loyal to those who have given me that happiness and protected it.
Written By Vanora
July 19, 2018, 6:43 p.m.(3/21/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Eleyna
My Cherished Friend,
It was you who reminded me of the Velenosa words and their Reflection. Loyalty, real loyalty, is something that goes deeper than blood, deeper than friendship, it is an oath so strong it needs no vows to accompany.
You have my loyalty because you have earned it, because you are deserving of it. You have my love and my friendship for such too, but it is the loyalty that sinks deepest, that becomes flesh and bone. It is freely given, and you need never thank me for coming to your aid.
I will every time.
It was you who reminded me of the Velenosa words and their Reflection. Loyalty, real loyalty, is something that goes deeper than blood, deeper than friendship, it is an oath so strong it needs no vows to accompany.
You have my loyalty because you have earned it, because you are deserving of it. You have my love and my friendship for such too, but it is the loyalty that sinks deepest, that becomes flesh and bone. It is freely given, and you need never thank me for coming to your aid.
I will every time.
Written By Vanora
July 19, 2018, 2:43 a.m.(3/20/1009 AR)
Little One,
My husband has shown you some of the letters that he's written to you, saved in sections of his whites to be passed on to you one day that you may know your parents...what we were like when we were young and you the future still months away from your first cries. My mother is...secretive, and I wish I had letters or journals she'd written at my age. There are so many things I wish to understand of the start of my life that I may never. It will be different for you.
Your father did not grow up with the same weight on his shoulders that you carry. Your grandfather was not the Duke of Grimhall from the get go, but survived two brothers before the House was his to lead. As such, your father did not expect to one day become a Duke until he was already a man grown. From childhood he was a soldier, a sailor, a general, an admiral....and he is those things now, and will be after he holds Grihem's Point. This too will be your legacy. This now is your birthright, and you will be educated not only as sailor, soldier, general....but as a ruler. There are all sorts of kinds of power in this world, some as blatant as the slice of an axe held in strong hands...some as subtle and soft as silk. You will know both, and a world that we can only guess at and yet have all dreamed...something filled with beauty, wonder, and legend.
My friend the Baron Stormbreak once described Grimhall to me...the legacy that I was joining...that you'd be inheriting. He spoke of family, friendship, and fealty...and it is these which I wish you to understand as who you are and what you will become. You will learn that so much else of the world is false...that titles may sound impressive...but it takes more than a title to rule. To be a leader you must be someone worth following. You can intimidate through force of will and force of arms and gain obedience. Never mistake obedience for loyalty. Obedience is what is offered when there is no other choice. Loyalty...that is freely given when those worth being loyal to come into our lives. Loyalty is a kind of power and yet also something deeper than power. It cannot be demanded, it cannot be claimed. I know many people to whom I offer obedience, based on station, position, practicality. Those to whom I offer my loyalty are fewer, farther between, and yet I do not obey them, I'd fight and die for them because they are worth fighting and dying for. I hope that is who you will be. A man that others choose to fight and die for...and would whether you are Duke of Grihem's Point or general of a small band of infantry.
I could write on how to gain that kind of loyalty, but it will be the great lesson of your life. There are those in my life now teaching me the nuances, showing me what it means to be that kind of loyal...and to feel that kind of loyalty offered to me in turn. Therein lies the key. Loyalty begets loyalty. Protect those whom you are charged to protect, and gain their loyalty. Grims are known for being ruthless towards threats, yet to every family motto there is an unspoken counterpoint. The Velenosa words are 'No one may harm us unpunished' and they prove that true. Yet 'those who help us when we are in need will reap the rewards of our loyalty' suits just as well. Be loyal, and you will find those loyal to you in turn.
I wanted to be Godsworn once, my little lord. I trained in the temples for it and was regarded highly by the First Reflection, and it was all that I'd ever hoped for. When circumstances pulled me from that, when court claimed me again, I raged at the idea of it...I felt deprived of my calling. I realize now that it was never so. Family is my calling. You are my calling.
-Your Mother
My husband has shown you some of the letters that he's written to you, saved in sections of his whites to be passed on to you one day that you may know your parents...what we were like when we were young and you the future still months away from your first cries. My mother is...secretive, and I wish I had letters or journals she'd written at my age. There are so many things I wish to understand of the start of my life that I may never. It will be different for you.
Your father did not grow up with the same weight on his shoulders that you carry. Your grandfather was not the Duke of Grimhall from the get go, but survived two brothers before the House was his to lead. As such, your father did not expect to one day become a Duke until he was already a man grown. From childhood he was a soldier, a sailor, a general, an admiral....and he is those things now, and will be after he holds Grihem's Point. This too will be your legacy. This now is your birthright, and you will be educated not only as sailor, soldier, general....but as a ruler. There are all sorts of kinds of power in this world, some as blatant as the slice of an axe held in strong hands...some as subtle and soft as silk. You will know both, and a world that we can only guess at and yet have all dreamed...something filled with beauty, wonder, and legend.
My friend the Baron Stormbreak once described Grimhall to me...the legacy that I was joining...that you'd be inheriting. He spoke of family, friendship, and fealty...and it is these which I wish you to understand as who you are and what you will become. You will learn that so much else of the world is false...that titles may sound impressive...but it takes more than a title to rule. To be a leader you must be someone worth following. You can intimidate through force of will and force of arms and gain obedience. Never mistake obedience for loyalty. Obedience is what is offered when there is no other choice. Loyalty...that is freely given when those worth being loyal to come into our lives. Loyalty is a kind of power and yet also something deeper than power. It cannot be demanded, it cannot be claimed. I know many people to whom I offer obedience, based on station, position, practicality. Those to whom I offer my loyalty are fewer, farther between, and yet I do not obey them, I'd fight and die for them because they are worth fighting and dying for. I hope that is who you will be. A man that others choose to fight and die for...and would whether you are Duke of Grihem's Point or general of a small band of infantry.
I could write on how to gain that kind of loyalty, but it will be the great lesson of your life. There are those in my life now teaching me the nuances, showing me what it means to be that kind of loyal...and to feel that kind of loyalty offered to me in turn. Therein lies the key. Loyalty begets loyalty. Protect those whom you are charged to protect, and gain their loyalty. Grims are known for being ruthless towards threats, yet to every family motto there is an unspoken counterpoint. The Velenosa words are 'No one may harm us unpunished' and they prove that true. Yet 'those who help us when we are in need will reap the rewards of our loyalty' suits just as well. Be loyal, and you will find those loyal to you in turn.
I wanted to be Godsworn once, my little lord. I trained in the temples for it and was regarded highly by the First Reflection, and it was all that I'd ever hoped for. When circumstances pulled me from that, when court claimed me again, I raged at the idea of it...I felt deprived of my calling. I realize now that it was never so. Family is my calling. You are my calling.
-Your Mother
Written By Vanora
July 15, 2018, 2:56 a.m.(3/12/1009 AR)
I was born in the Silken City.
I'll keep wearing silk, whether simple or extravagant.
A little bit of home right on the skin, soft and perfect.
I should go shopping...
I'll keep wearing silk, whether simple or extravagant.
A little bit of home right on the skin, soft and perfect.
I should go shopping...
Written By Vanora
July 15, 2018, 2:53 a.m.(3/12/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Cambria
If I had it my way it would be similar to your way.
So indeed, this is why we don't always get our way.
Until the moment we do, which is always /wonderful/.
So indeed, this is why we don't always get our way.
Until the moment we do, which is always /wonderful/.
Written By Vanora
July 14, 2018, 7:02 p.m.(3/11/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Joscelin
The Guildmistress is extremely talented, though that is no secret.
I nearly salivated at some of the clothing and jewelry I saw today, it was all exquisite and she and everyone who worked to support the opening of the Crafter's Gallery ought be very proud.
I nearly salivated at some of the clothing and jewelry I saw today, it was all exquisite and she and everyone who worked to support the opening of the Crafter's Gallery ought be very proud.
Written By Vanora
July 8, 2018, 11:35 p.m.(2/27/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Galen
I've seen that Prince Galen Thrax writes the sweetest love letters to his wife.
Perhaps he'd be willing to tutor other people's husbands, the sort that don't like scrawling romantic missives to their wives.
I can think of at least one potential student.
Perhaps he'd be willing to tutor other people's husbands, the sort that don't like scrawling romantic missives to their wives.
I can think of at least one potential student.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.