Written By Joscelin
Nov. 14, 2018, 12:10 a.m.(12/26/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Gareth
But you were my friend. Your promises meant much to me. I am sad for your loss for many reasons, most that I cannot write here, and some that I lack the ability to express.
Ultimately, I hope thus: that you knew you had my friendship and respect, and that you were important to me.
I pray Death keeps you safe until your next Turn, and that that life is far kinder to you than this one was.
Written By Joscelin
Nov. 14, 2018, 12:06 a.m.(12/26/1009 AR)
I have a place to stay, I've been offered many places, in homes, families, establishments. I've written it many times and I'll do it again: the sheer generosity I've been met with has been humbling. If there's any good to come of all this, it's that I am loved and cared for.
But I've not been idle, either.
Letters. So many letters, private meetings, conversations between parties both sought after and requested. The support I've been met with in Oliver's passing has turned into something else. So many offers of help and support have been managed and shifted towards the Guild. It's been hard maintaining a certain level of energy, which has had less to do with grief and more to do with feeling exhausted all the time, something the physicians have warned me will only get worse as this baby gets bigger. But with a shift in focus, delegating those that are eager to help, the social influence of the Guild has grown, and many of my Crafters are reporting an increase in business. This heartens me, the Guild is alive and growing and doing well.
My work in the Atelier has all but stopped. My assistants continue as ever and their work is to my impossible standards, but my own hands have yet to raise a hammer or work the metals overmuch. I've managed to finish a project long due, but I won't lie: it was quite hard and the effort continues to be so. I miss working at my bench but it's hard to find my heart in it these days. I suspect my interest will return, but for now I am hesitant to take commissions. I have several projects I must finish, overdue for my grief, but I mean to finish them before the baby is born.
Written By Joscelin
Nov. 9, 2018, 10:11 a.m.(12/17/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Fortunato
But I'm actually pretty sure that wasn't what you meant.
Written By Joscelin
Nov. 1, 2018, 1:22 p.m.(12/1/1009 AR)
Written By Joscelin
Oct. 29, 2018, 2:12 a.m.(11/22/1009 AR)
That all who feel lost can feel so protected, that all who -have- lost can feel so reclaimed.
I've no right to feel so blessed, but either way, I am still so very thankful.
Written By Joscelin
Oct. 29, 2018, 2:12 a.m.(11/22/1009 AR)
That all who feel lost can feel so protected, that all who -have- lost can feel so reclaimed.
I've no right to feel so blessed, but either way, I am still so very thankful.
Written By Joscelin
Oct. 28, 2018, 3:30 p.m.(11/21/1009 AR)
That's the smell of failure. That's what it smells like to me.
Also I need to figure out how to sleep through the night, raccoon eyes is not a dignified look for me.
Written By Joscelin
Oct. 26, 2018, 8:33 p.m.(11/17/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Aleksei
Written By Joscelin
Oct. 25, 2018, 1:24 a.m.(11/14/1009 AR)
Written By Joscelin
Oct. 24, 2018, 10:02 a.m.(11/13/1009 AR)
As the days go on, I keep thinking I'll wake up and everyone will be as it was. A childish notion, one that I'll shed as I will this grief. One day. For now I continue to focus on what's important, but these feelings... they build like a wave over the day and crash into me, until I'm left gasping and crawling to bed, praying for sleep to drown me, for a little while, and grant me relief.
Sometimes the dreams come and it's helpful. Other times, they come and they are not.
Written By Joscelin
Oct. 24, 2018, 1:50 a.m.(11/12/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Fecundo
You honored him with your favor, and I know he would have been further overjoyed to dress you on the eventual, future day of your nuptials.
Written By Joscelin
Oct. 23, 2018, 6:18 p.m.(11/11/1009 AR)
Justice. Honor. Accountability. These are the things I am trying to focus on, to let those that wish to help, help. It's very hard.
Forgive me now for the ire that lives in me in these dark hours. If I rage, scream, lash, it isn't you. I am trying to purge my anger and my fear and it is slow work, a crawl over jagged rocks on bare knees and exposed palms to a destination I can only hope is there. I've seen others walk through this anguish with grace. Maybe I can manage to do the same.
Written By Joscelin
Oct. 23, 2018, 12:19 a.m.(11/10/1009 AR)
...and still all I want is for you to be home, waiting for me. This was not the story I had written. This was not the life we had planned.
Written By Joscelin
Oct. 22, 2018, 11:06 p.m.(11/10/1009 AR)
His baby kicks beneath my heart.
The same thought echoes through my head without ceasing:
"What will I do?"
Written By Joscelin
Oct. 18, 2018, 10:49 p.m.(10/21/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Evaristo
Just devastated.
On a lighter note, I set my apron on fire this morning. It's big enough to still fit me, thank goodness, but it's also leather. Did you know leather is flame-resistant but not completely retardant? I knew this of course but I've never obtained more than scorch marks, because it takes a very long time and a great deal of heat for leather this thick to catch fire. I wasn't wearing it at the time but I left it by the casting forge. Very close to the flames. Too close. For too long.
I can't wait to give birth to this baby, it's eating up my sense and attention and I don't like that one bit.
Written By Joscelin
Oct. 18, 2018, 12:04 a.m.(10/19/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Evaristo
Fine.
It's hideous but oddly endearing. Also I am too tired to move the thing so it's in my Atelier now. The assistants like it a lot, I don't know if he paid them to like it but they do.
Written By Joscelin
Oct. 16, 2018, 6:58 p.m.(10/16/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Evaristo
If you can make yourself presentable, you're allowed to join us for lunch any time you like. But you -will- wash your .... everything, first. Alright?
It really is good to have you back in the city, cousin.
Written By Joscelin
Oct. 16, 2018, 6:54 p.m.(10/16/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Morrighan
Written By Joscelin
Oct. 15, 2018, 4:29 p.m.(10/14/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Evaristo
Also she said you smelled like booze and you tried to kiss your reflection in the window? What?
Do you need help?
Written By Joscelin
Oct. 15, 2018, 4:16 p.m.(10/14/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Eleyna
No seriously, I nearly fell over. Goodness.
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