Written By Ainsley
March 19, 2018, 12:55 a.m.(5/20/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Tikva
It doesn't sit well with me to have you so far away, doing dangerous things where I cannot be there with my sword. But this is our life, is not my love? And our duties call us to different places, and I would not sooner try to stop you voice than you would try to stop me from fighting for Gloria.
Come home safe, my lady, I miss you terribly.
Come home safe, my lady, I miss you terribly.
Written By Ainsley
March 19, 2018, 12:53 a.m.(5/20/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Aiden
Before the Battle of Stormwall, Marquis Mydas Acheron and I took some time to speak, and decided together that it might be best if I put my sword to use protecting a potential target of our enemies. As such I left the command center, and Gloria was with me as I went into battle against a fearsome foe.
I asked my brother, Aiden, to step in for me and command the entirety of the Grayson forces, and not just the archers. From all accounts he did wonderfully, made hard choices, and lead with dignity.
I am so proud of my brother, and the man he has become. I feel immense pride in knowing that if I am called to the field, my brother can lead our forces in my stead.
But more:
In the future I know that we will lead together, and I will be honored to command alongside him on the battlefield.
I asked my brother, Aiden, to step in for me and command the entirety of the Grayson forces, and not just the archers. From all accounts he did wonderfully, made hard choices, and lead with dignity.
I am so proud of my brother, and the man he has become. I feel immense pride in knowing that if I am called to the field, my brother can lead our forces in my stead.
But more:
In the future I know that we will lead together, and I will be honored to command alongside him on the battlefield.
Written By Ainsley
March 14, 2018, 10:14 p.m.(5/12/1008 AR)
I shall be having one last dinner with my family, introducing them to my infant son. And then I shall be leaving him and my wards with our staff at the Grayson manor.
(*Scribbled in the margin.* Cara can you check in on them occasionally?)
During the Silent War I did not have a wife, I did not have children. During the Silent War I was prepared to die for the Compact, for the world.
No.
During the Silent War I *wanted* to die. I went into it expecting, hoping, to die.
I will not be going to into this War expecting to die. I shall fight to my very last breath to return to my family.
To war we go, but I will come home and I will bring as many as my men with me as I can.
(*Scribbled in the margin.* Cara can you check in on them occasionally?)
During the Silent War I did not have a wife, I did not have children. During the Silent War I was prepared to die for the Compact, for the world.
No.
During the Silent War I *wanted* to die. I went into it expecting, hoping, to die.
I will not be going to into this War expecting to die. I shall fight to my very last breath to return to my family.
To war we go, but I will come home and I will bring as many as my men with me as I can.
Written By Ainsley
March 9, 2018, 2:23 p.m.(5/1/1008 AR)
Sometime back there was a fire in the Upper Boroughs, during that fire myself and a few others (Lord Ian notably) attempted to rescue four children from a burning house. We got the majority of them down safely, but the oldest-- a young teenaged girl by the name of Aniyah --was the last left. This brave girl begged us to make sure the young children got free, and to leave her so that no one else would get hurt. I could not do this. I put her on my back and in desperation jumped.
Aniyah has been with the mercies for sometime for her shattered legs. I check in on her, and I have taken her-- despite her arguing about it --as my ward. She is not a princess, she has not been adopted nor ennobled. (Note: This young girl would have laughed in my face had I offered and argued even harder. Because at fifteen she is wiser than myself and some of the Peerage.)
Aniyah, as my ward; will be well educated, well taken care of, given all of the things she needs, and treated kindly.
I'm given to believe that this is the typical arrangement between a noble and a commoner, when a noble comes to be the guardian of a commoner under the age of majority.
Aniyah has been with the mercies for sometime for her shattered legs. I check in on her, and I have taken her-- despite her arguing about it --as my ward. She is not a princess, she has not been adopted nor ennobled. (Note: This young girl would have laughed in my face had I offered and argued even harder. Because at fifteen she is wiser than myself and some of the Peerage.)
Aniyah, as my ward; will be well educated, well taken care of, given all of the things she needs, and treated kindly.
I'm given to believe that this is the typical arrangement between a noble and a commoner, when a noble comes to be the guardian of a commoner under the age of majority.
Written By Ainsley
Feb. 27, 2018, 12:37 a.m.(4/8/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Aislin
My Friend,
Tikva and I have had a son. We've named him Asharion in your honor. When he's old enough I will take him out in the forest on walks. On those walks I will tell him of the most clear-eyed, brave, and wise woman that he is named after. I will tell him of your adventures. I will tell him tales of the world outside of Arvum. I will just walk with him.
I will spend time just /being/ with him. We will not talk about all the doom the world has or will face.
I will teach him how to climb trees. I will tell him tales of the great treehouses of Ashford Forest-- and take him there one day.
I will teach him how to start a fire. How to find edible berries and mushrooms. I will teach him how to find shelter under the leaves.
I hope he will have a mind as curious and as hungry for knowledge of the world as you. And if he does... I will support it in every way I can.
I wish I had walked with you more, Aislin.
I will remember you fondly, always.
And I will raise my son to look forward to the future, but to learn from the past.
Yours,
Ainsley.
Tikva and I have had a son. We've named him Asharion in your honor. When he's old enough I will take him out in the forest on walks. On those walks I will tell him of the most clear-eyed, brave, and wise woman that he is named after. I will tell him of your adventures. I will tell him tales of the world outside of Arvum. I will just walk with him.
I will spend time just /being/ with him. We will not talk about all the doom the world has or will face.
I will teach him how to climb trees. I will tell him tales of the great treehouses of Ashford Forest-- and take him there one day.
I will teach him how to start a fire. How to find edible berries and mushrooms. I will teach him how to find shelter under the leaves.
I hope he will have a mind as curious and as hungry for knowledge of the world as you. And if he does... I will support it in every way I can.
I wish I had walked with you more, Aislin.
I will remember you fondly, always.
And I will raise my son to look forward to the future, but to learn from the past.
Yours,
Ainsley.
Written By Ainsley
Feb. 23, 2018, 10:14 p.m.(4/2/1008 AR)
I've tried this meditation thing. Someone told me "think on one word" and "focus on that word". And then told me that "sword" is probably not a good word to focus on. But water and sand seems so boring.
Written By Ainsley
Feb. 23, 2018, 10:13 p.m.(4/2/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Aiden
We may have had out fights, and our arguments, but I know that my brother is always there to remind me when it is time to rest. To put down my blades, and my training tools, and take a breath.
Written By Ainsley
Feb. 23, 2018, 10:02 p.m.(4/2/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Tikva
The other day my wife told me that she had peed thirteen times, and that she wasn't going to again because of it being that auspicious number. When I tried to reason with her well... Scholar, let me tell you. It is not a good idea to argue with a pregnant woman about relieving herself. That being said, foot rubs are a great way to get back into your wife's good graces, I've come to learn.
Written By Ainsley
Feb. 18, 2018, 11:52 p.m.(3/20/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Tikva
I am very lucky to have such a lovely, lovely wife.
Written By Ainsley
Feb. 13, 2018, 1:27 a.m.(3/2/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Talen
You draw a better once, Archduke.
Written By Ainsley
Feb. 13, 2018, 1:08 a.m.(3/2/1008 AR)
I will be your shield.
I have come across a poster that exclaims that Esra was silenced, and that King, Guard, and Faith will not protect you. But if you are reading this, I swear to you and before Limerance, I will be your shield.
I will turn my back to no innocent that needs protection.
I will turn away no innocent in need.
I will continue to strive to stamp out corruption within the Iron Guard.
I will continue to serve as Voice of Grayson.
I will continue to help when and where I can.
I will be your shield.
I have come across a poster that exclaims that Esra was silenced, and that King, Guard, and Faith will not protect you. But if you are reading this, I swear to you and before Limerance, I will be your shield.
I will turn my back to no innocent that needs protection.
I will turn away no innocent in need.
I will continue to strive to stamp out corruption within the Iron Guard.
I will continue to serve as Voice of Grayson.
I will continue to help when and where I can.
I will be your shield.
Written By Ainsley
Feb. 12, 2018, 10:55 p.m.(3/2/1008 AR)
*this is a crudely drawn image of a cat sniffing a daisy*
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Written By Ainsley
Feb. 4, 2018, 9:56 p.m.(2/13/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Tikva
If you're talking about that incident in the theatre where you were singing-- I was the one standing infront of you that time, love. Not our favorite Baron.
Written By Ainsley
Jan. 31, 2018, 11:56 p.m.(1/26/1008 AR)
*A single page of one word written over and over, in shaking penmanship.*
Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily.
Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily.
Written By Ainsley
Jan. 26, 2018, 5:56 p.m.(1/16/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Samantha
Can I be a flower too? I'd love to be a petunia.
Written By Ainsley
Jan. 26, 2018, 2:52 a.m.(1/15/1008 AR)
Prince Laric lead a crusade to wipe out corruption with the Inquisition.
Princess Cara is constantly buried in research trying to return knowledge, and forewarn the Compact of our enemies and other threats.
Princess Tikva has sung away abyssal forces on multiple occasions.
Princess Lou has taken up the Society of Explorer's-- an organization dedicated to exploring the world we have forgotten.
Princess Sabella has spoken with absolute wisdom and offered diplomatic advice.
Prince Mason is always researching ways to help the Compact, and has worked hard to help the plight of Thralls.
Prince Calarian convinced an entire tribe to join us and fight together with us during the Silent War.
Princess Peregrine brought us those people, and died for us in the forest fighting against the Follies.
Prince Aiden does his best to help the animals of the Compact, and works toward training the Grayson forces that are trained as archers.
Prince Luca has fought in many a battle to protect the Compact.
Princess Lark has offered time and time again personal sacrifice for the Compact.
Princess Reese leads our forces against our enemies.
My entire family, not just one, has done their best to keep the Compact safe. I know not a single member of my family who has not done their part for the Compact. For that is what we are:
We are Graysons, and we have a duty to the Compact, and we do our best to fulfill it.
None Greater Than Grayson!
Princess Cara is constantly buried in research trying to return knowledge, and forewarn the Compact of our enemies and other threats.
Princess Tikva has sung away abyssal forces on multiple occasions.
Princess Lou has taken up the Society of Explorer's-- an organization dedicated to exploring the world we have forgotten.
Princess Sabella has spoken with absolute wisdom and offered diplomatic advice.
Prince Mason is always researching ways to help the Compact, and has worked hard to help the plight of Thralls.
Prince Calarian convinced an entire tribe to join us and fight together with us during the Silent War.
Princess Peregrine brought us those people, and died for us in the forest fighting against the Follies.
Prince Aiden does his best to help the animals of the Compact, and works toward training the Grayson forces that are trained as archers.
Prince Luca has fought in many a battle to protect the Compact.
Princess Lark has offered time and time again personal sacrifice for the Compact.
Princess Reese leads our forces against our enemies.
My entire family, not just one, has done their best to keep the Compact safe. I know not a single member of my family who has not done their part for the Compact. For that is what we are:
We are Graysons, and we have a duty to the Compact, and we do our best to fulfill it.
None Greater Than Grayson!
Written By Ainsley
Jan. 26, 2018, 2:03 a.m.(1/15/1008 AR)
This may be long, and if you read it you may judge me more harshly than you have before. I would understand anyone's judgment. This journal will also be as honest as I can make it.
My name is Ainsley Grayson, I am a Prince. I am a Voice. I am the Deputy Commander of the Iron Guard. I am a Disciple of Gloria. I am the Paladin of the Sword.
It is the last title that weighs upon me as I write this journal. As I do not feel I deserve this title. Unfortunately, it is not one that I could give up even if I chose to. Gloria, Vellichor, and Jayus blessed me as the Paladin of the the Triad of Arts and Science. Gloria's strength flowed through me when I faced Tolomar Brand.
It is not my place to question the will of the Gods. So I will not question why they accepted me as their paladin during the Silent War. It is, however, my place to question if I am living up to their expectations.
And I must say that I am not.
I have acted, recently and in the past, with a shameful lack of dignity, grace, and honor. What I write next is not an attempt to excuse my behavior but to explain it. To myself as well as to any who would learn of me in the future and perhaps to my contemporaries.
I have dreamt of Gloria my entire life-- or as much of it as to be my entire life. From the first time I picked up a training sword I have dreamt of her. She trains me until I am exhausted. She is the sternest, most harsh teacher I have ever had. And yet she smiles just as much as she chastises. She laughs as much as she yells. She encourages as much as she pushes. She enjoys the battle with such a fierceness I cannot even explain it.
I have never doubted, for one second, that Gloria was with me when I have picked up a sword. So I have shamed myself with my actions, and her, for not acting in a way that is befitting of her. It is frustration that has lead me to this behavior. To these outbursts. To hot tempered words.
Gloria calls me to fight, but if I am constantly being defeated in the sands... how can I ever live up to what she asks of me? It is not my place to question the Gods, but I do not always have the faith in myself that Gloria has in me. I swear that I try to view each loss as a lesson, as a way to learn something, to better perfect my sword arm.
But when it is loss, after loss, after loss.... And when it is to someone who outshines me in everything that she does. Frustration at myself rides me so hard that I last out. Angry with myself but directed outwards. To the people around me, like a child throwing a tantrum.
I have shamed myself and my Goddess, and it is time to stop acting like a child.
Gloria cares not if I win or lose a spar. All she cares is that I have acted with honor in my fight.
All she cares is that I have fought with all of my heart.
And I shall.
My name is Ainsley Grayson, I am a Prince. I am a Voice. I am the Deputy Commander of the Iron Guard. I am a Disciple of Gloria. I am the Paladin of the Sword.
It is the last title that weighs upon me as I write this journal. As I do not feel I deserve this title. Unfortunately, it is not one that I could give up even if I chose to. Gloria, Vellichor, and Jayus blessed me as the Paladin of the the Triad of Arts and Science. Gloria's strength flowed through me when I faced Tolomar Brand.
It is not my place to question the will of the Gods. So I will not question why they accepted me as their paladin during the Silent War. It is, however, my place to question if I am living up to their expectations.
And I must say that I am not.
I have acted, recently and in the past, with a shameful lack of dignity, grace, and honor. What I write next is not an attempt to excuse my behavior but to explain it. To myself as well as to any who would learn of me in the future and perhaps to my contemporaries.
I have dreamt of Gloria my entire life-- or as much of it as to be my entire life. From the first time I picked up a training sword I have dreamt of her. She trains me until I am exhausted. She is the sternest, most harsh teacher I have ever had. And yet she smiles just as much as she chastises. She laughs as much as she yells. She encourages as much as she pushes. She enjoys the battle with such a fierceness I cannot even explain it.
I have never doubted, for one second, that Gloria was with me when I have picked up a sword. So I have shamed myself with my actions, and her, for not acting in a way that is befitting of her. It is frustration that has lead me to this behavior. To these outbursts. To hot tempered words.
Gloria calls me to fight, but if I am constantly being defeated in the sands... how can I ever live up to what she asks of me? It is not my place to question the Gods, but I do not always have the faith in myself that Gloria has in me. I swear that I try to view each loss as a lesson, as a way to learn something, to better perfect my sword arm.
But when it is loss, after loss, after loss.... And when it is to someone who outshines me in everything that she does. Frustration at myself rides me so hard that I last out. Angry with myself but directed outwards. To the people around me, like a child throwing a tantrum.
I have shamed myself and my Goddess, and it is time to stop acting like a child.
Gloria cares not if I win or lose a spar. All she cares is that I have acted with honor in my fight.
All she cares is that I have fought with all of my heart.
And I shall.
Written By Ainsley
Jan. 24, 2018, 11:36 a.m.(1/11/1008 AR)
Apologies are not magic, they do not heal hurts caused by word or deed. They do not erase patterns of behavior that cause rifts.
What apologies are is a promise. A promise to the person you have wronged that you earnestly attempting to make amends.
Apologies are a vow before Limerance, Lord of Fidelity, that you will strive to be a better person.
Apologies are not magic. They are the bitter medicine of swallowing your pride as you examine yourself and your actions.
A true, earnest apology takes time and thought. Brought with a balance of humility and pride.
What apologies are is a promise. A promise to the person you have wronged that you earnestly attempting to make amends.
Apologies are a vow before Limerance, Lord of Fidelity, that you will strive to be a better person.
Apologies are not magic. They are the bitter medicine of swallowing your pride as you examine yourself and your actions.
A true, earnest apology takes time and thought. Brought with a balance of humility and pride.
Written By Ainsley
Jan. 22, 2018, 3:48 a.m.(1/7/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Shard
There's few I respect as much as I respect this woman. Every time I've seen her fight she moves like a ghost. It takes me a good half an hour to tire her out so I can actually land a hit on her.
Written By Ainsley
Jan. 12, 2018, 12:39 a.m.(12/13/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Tikva
I won't stop being smug for a while, yet. Probably not ever.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.