Written By Viviana
Feb. 28, 2022, 5:45 p.m.(3/13/1017 AR)
I'm writing the following at the Shrine of the Thirteenth, and hopefully Leila -- who is wonderful -- will deliver my words to be Archived in my Journal.
I was wondering if.
It's been such a lengthy period of serious introspection. Some tentative steps taken. Some quiet overtures made. So much yearning.
I've made my mind up.
I think that I am ready to take the actions needed to become a full Whisper.
I was wondering if.
It's been such a lengthy period of serious introspection. Some tentative steps taken. Some quiet overtures made. So much yearning.
I've made my mind up.
I think that I am ready to take the actions needed to become a full Whisper.
Written By Viviana
Feb. 25, 2022, 5:43 p.m.(3/7/1017 AR)
I am wondering if.
Written By Viviana
Feb. 22, 2022, 7:07 p.m.(3/1/1017 AR)
Costume? Secured. Escort? Undecided. Maybe someone that would look good in green. Or yellow.
Written By Viviana
Feb. 19, 2022, 4:22 a.m.(2/21/1017 AR)
I request a new obsession.
Written By Viviana
Feb. 15, 2022, 7:42 p.m.(2/15/1017 AR)
I saw what platinum looked like through the glass of a display cabinet at the Archive. The metal, it was such a cold -- distant color, stunning and yet, eerie enough to be a warning. I had a beautiful thought of a platinum basket-hilt, like a nest of vipers, guarding my hand --
Written By Viviana
Feb. 13, 2022, 5:58 p.m.(2/11/1017 AR)
I had a daydream, you know, as you do between doing work and not-work -- a daydream of visiting a shipwreck, down, down beneath the sea. Silly. There's no way to breathe that far down into the water, but it was an interesting thought.
Written By Viviana
Feb. 8, 2022, 5:33 p.m.(2/1/1017 AR)
In those oceanic eyes, not by color -- but vastness -- so deep -- that gaze. So deep.
Too deep.
You see things. Fucked if that doesn't sound like the most cloying thing I have ever committed to my Whites
-- but there you have it.
Too deep.
You see things. Fucked if that doesn't sound like the most cloying thing I have ever committed to my Whites
-- but there you have it.
Written By Viviana
Feb. 8, 2022, 7:46 a.m.(1/28/1017 AR)
I bought that pendant --
-- a lovely reminder that death is inevitable.
Like taxes, lawyers, and tired jokes.
-- a lovely reminder that death is inevitable.
Like taxes, lawyers, and tired jokes.
Written By Viviana
Jan. 29, 2022, 8:52 p.m.(1/9/1017 AR)
If I survive -- I am buying that pendant.
Written By Viviana
Jan. 27, 2022, 10:46 p.m.(1/5/1017 AR)
Ever read -- oh, you know, something -- and secretly hope they're referring to you? No? Well, why not?!
Written By Viviana
Jan. 27, 2022, 4:15 a.m.(1/3/1017 AR)
When the time arrives to meet that most gracious Queen in death, and it's my time to return to the Wheel --
Reference those memories with honesty. Not sentiment.
Reference those memories with honesty. Not sentiment.
Written By Viviana
Jan. 27, 2022, 12:55 a.m.(1/3/1017 AR)
The hangover's the worst.
Written By Viviana
Jan. 25, 2022, 6:11 p.m.(1/1/1017 AR)
I don't understand why others do the shit that they do -- countless, like the raindrop scatter of yellow sapphires across star iron, but, of course, are simply stars and not gems, Scholar, and I am only making an educated assumption that sapphires can be yellow. Are stars yellow. Gold's yellow -- ish. I don't see why the stars wouldn't also be made of gold. No, the night-sky's star iron in this. Now, see -- I have messed up the entire analogy --
Let's start again.
I don't understand what motivates others.
I am relearning mine.
Let's start again.
I don't understand what motivates others.
I am relearning mine.
Written By Viviana
Jan. 25, 2022, 5:52 p.m.(1/1/1017 AR)
-- What I wanted for myself and what ended up for me -- those are two different stories.
What I wanted: verve and vigor, flash and flourish, blushes and thrown roses. I wanted ballads and stories. I wanted crowds. I wanted to be able to take a turn in a duelist's ring and get them up on their feet for me. For me to be their champion. I see Champion Caspian, unflaggingly cheerful, and I see a glimmer through my good eye of what could have been. Fuck, Scholars, it would have beautiful. It wasn't just a damned dream either, it was longing -- it was yearning -- it was a need so deep to the fibers of my being that I wept. Wept each night that father and I rode out to the war in Nilanza. So he wouldn't see me -- the disappointment, the fear, the dissolution of my naivety. The first time I realized that the truth that Leticia pressed for me was entirely different from the future I saw for myself.
Fuck you, Leticia, for that.
What I wanted: verve and vigor, flash and flourish, blushes and thrown roses. I wanted ballads and stories. I wanted crowds. I wanted to be able to take a turn in a duelist's ring and get them up on their feet for me. For me to be their champion. I see Champion Caspian, unflaggingly cheerful, and I see a glimmer through my good eye of what could have been. Fuck, Scholars, it would have beautiful. It wasn't just a damned dream either, it was longing -- it was yearning -- it was a need so deep to the fibers of my being that I wept. Wept each night that father and I rode out to the war in Nilanza. So he wouldn't see me -- the disappointment, the fear, the dissolution of my naivety. The first time I realized that the truth that Leticia pressed for me was entirely different from the future I saw for myself.
Fuck you, Leticia, for that.
Written By Viviana
Jan. 16, 2022, 11:33 p.m.(12/11/1016 AR)
I need a proper display cabinet for my weapons. Swords. Daggers. To compliment the other daggers and swords that I own.
-- Of course.
-- Of course.
Written By Viviana
Jan. 16, 2022, 10:56 a.m.(12/10/1016 AR)
I didn't see any blue flowers --
Written By Viviana
Jan. 16, 2022, 10:43 a.m.(12/10/1016 AR)
It's going to be my choice.
Whether quietly -- or kicking and screaming --
If there were a middling path between these two extremes. Between the patience that was schooled into me (not entirely, darlings, but you must learn the importance of when to flash those teeth in your smile -- and when to use courtier caution) and the wild impulsivity that seems to be plaguing me of late, like an itch -- what was I --
If there was a middle path.
Either I haven't seen it yet.
Or I haven't been looking hard enough.
Whether quietly -- or kicking and screaming --
If there were a middling path between these two extremes. Between the patience that was schooled into me (not entirely, darlings, but you must learn the importance of when to flash those teeth in your smile -- and when to use courtier caution) and the wild impulsivity that seems to be plaguing me of late, like an itch -- what was I --
If there was a middle path.
Either I haven't seen it yet.
Or I haven't been looking hard enough.
Written By Viviana
Jan. 15, 2022, 5:26 p.m.(12/9/1016 AR)
[ The following sketches of a seax and a coiled whip -- all short, feathery strokes of someone that's still learning to draw with confidence -- ]
Sparring of late has been a wonderful treat for a me like me, all prowly, really bored and hungry for new things to do. One such spar was with Champion Caspian Wild, presented out of a incredible conversation with him, the Blackheart, and -- I don't remember her name. Shame on me for that failing. But she did offer insights, which I have remembered -- and, oh, that does remind me that Lord Griffin was also present. He was.
Then, there were my usual little amusements -- my correspondences regarding bees and pigeons and spiders and boots and my reminder to Bladesong -- my afternoon in the piazza of the Seraceni manor telling fictions with my dearest of friends, Marquessa Avita. She, as usual, played the most marvelous hostess and she held my interest captive with her tales.
Finally, there was my other improvised spar between Lord Vitalis Clement, yes, he was wearing his star-iron turnip -- and it was dazzling, and he did certainly turn up to impress with Defiance. Despite the quickness of the turn we took around the training ring -- it was swift, ruthless -- and it was fascinating to see how precise such a weapon can be.
Sparring of late has been a wonderful treat for a me like me, all prowly, really bored and hungry for new things to do. One such spar was with Champion Caspian Wild, presented out of a incredible conversation with him, the Blackheart, and -- I don't remember her name. Shame on me for that failing. But she did offer insights, which I have remembered -- and, oh, that does remind me that Lord Griffin was also present. He was.
Then, there were my usual little amusements -- my correspondences regarding bees and pigeons and spiders and boots and my reminder to Bladesong -- my afternoon in the piazza of the Seraceni manor telling fictions with my dearest of friends, Marquessa Avita. She, as usual, played the most marvelous hostess and she held my interest captive with her tales.
Finally, there was my other improvised spar between Lord Vitalis Clement, yes, he was wearing his star-iron turnip -- and it was dazzling, and he did certainly turn up to impress with Defiance. Despite the quickness of the turn we took around the training ring -- it was swift, ruthless -- and it was fascinating to see how precise such a weapon can be.
Written By Viviana
Jan. 2, 2022, 10:17 a.m.(11/10/1016 AR)
Thinking about writing is so easy. Doing it -- Scholar, it's so much barder.
Written By Viviana
Dec. 31, 2021, 5:20 p.m.(11/7/1016 AR)
Scholar.
Try this one for size,
To rhyme, never apologize,
as a pithy way to express
the stress
of impatience.
To three that be --
listen, I am begging for your
sym-path-y
it started off so easily,
and now I
am growing
bored.
That's enough of that, I agree.
Try this one for size,
To rhyme, never apologize,
as a pithy way to express
the stress
of impatience.
To three that be --
listen, I am begging for your
sym-path-y
it started off so easily,
and now I
am growing
bored.
That's enough of that, I agree.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.