Written By Nurie
July 21, 2019, 12:57 p.m.(7/4/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Karadoc
I did not like him terribly much when we first met, but he was clever and did not overpromise.
I did not like the sharp tongue directed at others (or tea fights started in my shop). But he did not look through me, as so many others do.
But I did very much like the calm. I liked the hope that children would not grow up in a house of chaos. I liked that the household is...was a place of peace if not passion. I think that sometimes the value of that seems to be overlooked of late.
But when I saw the relief and hope in my beloved sister's eyes when she found out that the secret worry carried so long could now be lifted from her shoulders--in that moment I loved him. At least until the next time he opened his mouth!
We will have many things to teach and tell your son or daughter when they finally come, my lord, but I promise you that you won't be forgotten either. I am so sorry you won't see how your strengths will surely be woven into them. Tessere is stronger now because of you. And two more children will keep growing, one with us, one because you shielded him from his father's fate. I wonder how the world will change?
I feel so numb. But is is time to go back to work.
I did not like the sharp tongue directed at others (or tea fights started in my shop). But he did not look through me, as so many others do.
But I did very much like the calm. I liked the hope that children would not grow up in a house of chaos. I liked that the household is...was a place of peace if not passion. I think that sometimes the value of that seems to be overlooked of late.
But when I saw the relief and hope in my beloved sister's eyes when she found out that the secret worry carried so long could now be lifted from her shoulders--in that moment I loved him. At least until the next time he opened his mouth!
We will have many things to teach and tell your son or daughter when they finally come, my lord, but I promise you that you won't be forgotten either. I am so sorry you won't see how your strengths will surely be woven into them. Tessere is stronger now because of you. And two more children will keep growing, one with us, one because you shielded him from his father's fate. I wonder how the world will change?
I feel so numb. But is is time to go back to work.
Written By Nurie
July 15, 2019, 4:30 a.m.(6/19/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Syd
When I heard the news about Lord Syd I had to sit for a few minutes. He was a kind man and quick witted and charming, though remembering names didn't seem to be his strong suit. The thought of how he is said to have died...makes me feel ill. He didn't deserve to die like that! Nobody does! May justice find those responsible swiftly!
I am so sorry that no one was there to help protect you when you needed it. And I also hope you landed more than a few blows in return. My heart is heavier today.
I am so sorry that no one was there to help protect you when you needed it. And I also hope you landed more than a few blows in return. My heart is heavier today.
Written By Nurie
June 23, 2019, 6:42 p.m.(5/4/1011 AR)
It seems very upsetting that any member of the nobility would begrudge commoners a special place in being able to ply their trade, and wish to have all aspects of this for themselves as well. I understand the impulse, and perhaps the resentment, of feeling as if others do not work more hard than you and yet are afforded what you might see as a special privilege that you cannot share. It's only human to be blinded (even momentarily) by that sometimes!
But there /is/ a way around it that preserves the livelihoods of those who do not have as many choices! Instead of resenting, perhaps take steps to cultivate a relationship with one who does not share your station, that will benefit you both. Someone who can work the markets on your behalf, for the good of their liege or the House that has hired them on a temporary basis. Perhaps you might also consider asking for space to display your work within a crafter's shop where you might be fully accredited, so that no acclaim is lost and most likely if you need the silver an arrangement can be made--we crafters buy things for our shops, and there are even resale shops available! This allows for great benefit to both the commoner and the noble family, not only for the silver exchanged or the goods moved but also to build respect and understanding and the strengthening of noble households and the layer of protection that a close tie to a noble house provides for any commoner who so serves.
But to publicly see resentment over the protection of commoner crafters and shopkeeps is something deeply disturbing to me, as someone who has the opportunity to observe much about the interaction of nobility and the commons. I am deeply thankful that my most frequent noble patrons seem to hold great respect and care in regards to not demanding to step over that boundary, and those so rich in opportunity do not seem so inclined to begrudge others of lower birth or station their niche.
Truly we cannot survive very well without each other. I see so many calls for more unity and understanding and care to not tread upon another's garment between those of noble blood--I pray that the same would perhaps extend to those below you as well.
But there /is/ a way around it that preserves the livelihoods of those who do not have as many choices! Instead of resenting, perhaps take steps to cultivate a relationship with one who does not share your station, that will benefit you both. Someone who can work the markets on your behalf, for the good of their liege or the House that has hired them on a temporary basis. Perhaps you might also consider asking for space to display your work within a crafter's shop where you might be fully accredited, so that no acclaim is lost and most likely if you need the silver an arrangement can be made--we crafters buy things for our shops, and there are even resale shops available! This allows for great benefit to both the commoner and the noble family, not only for the silver exchanged or the goods moved but also to build respect and understanding and the strengthening of noble households and the layer of protection that a close tie to a noble house provides for any commoner who so serves.
But to publicly see resentment over the protection of commoner crafters and shopkeeps is something deeply disturbing to me, as someone who has the opportunity to observe much about the interaction of nobility and the commons. I am deeply thankful that my most frequent noble patrons seem to hold great respect and care in regards to not demanding to step over that boundary, and those so rich in opportunity do not seem so inclined to begrudge others of lower birth or station their niche.
Truly we cannot survive very well without each other. I see so many calls for more unity and understanding and care to not tread upon another's garment between those of noble blood--I pray that the same would perhaps extend to those below you as well.
Written By Nurie
June 16, 2019, 12:27 p.m.(4/18/1011 AR)
There's something about the change of seasons that inspires! Though my time is divided in so many more ways it seems with each passing week, the warmer days and blooming colors and new scents and more awakenings fill my head suddenly with so many things that I want to steal time away and create. And so I have, with a few new outfits slowly taking shape in the display case, for when they're complete enough to put out on the floor of the shop, though as always they take form inbetween all the things that my customers bring to life with their imagination and desires and give me the privilege of helping them take shape.
There are many sweet things that cherish during these last few weeks, but the best have been to see a new and happy cadence to someone's step, a new brightness to their face, and to know that I had a very small part in helping to put it there.
There are many sweet things that cherish during these last few weeks, but the best have been to see a new and happy cadence to someone's step, a new brightness to their face, and to know that I had a very small part in helping to put it there.
Written By Nurie
June 2, 2019, 2:09 p.m.(3/18/1011 AR)
I have had so many chances of late to step in to different roles and masks that are shed and picked up as easily as an uncorseted gown. Too much activity and things to do to be afraid. Or even much catch my breath. My nights are filled with creating stars and making flowers bloom under my fingertips and finding pleasure where I can before my work calls to me again. Sometimes I wander in the snowy nights to hear the quiet that blanketing of snow provides, just to let my mind rest. When I catch my reflection in a window or mirror of late, I often wonder, who is it that I will be today? What will I become? Who do I want to be? Sometimes when so many things are weaving and unraveling and unfurling around me, I have to remind myself to breathe, and to hold fast to those I love.
Written By Nurie
May 19, 2019, 3:46 p.m.(2/18/1011 AR)
My project continues to consume almost all the rest of my spare time. Even when I close my eyes, sometimes all I can see are glittering threads and beads, and have nightmares of crooked stitches. Or of fire. I think it was perhaps good to start this in the dead of winter, with so few things to call out to the senses, warm summer sun and the scent of fresh flowers, and the desire to chase butterflies and watch the dance of light upon the water. Sometimes I still visit the koi ponds, and it's hard to resist the temptation to touch my fingertips to the ice, to cool and numb them. Sometimes when inspiration hits, I even forget my thimble, which I always regret later.
It is too easy to forget to eat or to sleep. Not out of despair but out of wonder. Wanting to get just a little further down the path. Just one more inch, one more knot, one more thread. But I don't wish to be dull. And there are other things that call to me to explore and attend to. But I've decided, just a few more days and then I can step out of my shell a bit. Dance a little, in a gown that steals my breath just looking at it hanging in my room. Walk the snow-quiet streets a little, for a whispered tale or three. And time with friends and beloved ones. That most of all.
But always, in my mind, it's still there. A tapestry that draws me towards my work as if I myself was one of its threads.
It is too easy to forget to eat or to sleep. Not out of despair but out of wonder. Wanting to get just a little further down the path. Just one more inch, one more knot, one more thread. But I don't wish to be dull. And there are other things that call to me to explore and attend to. But I've decided, just a few more days and then I can step out of my shell a bit. Dance a little, in a gown that steals my breath just looking at it hanging in my room. Walk the snow-quiet streets a little, for a whispered tale or three. And time with friends and beloved ones. That most of all.
But always, in my mind, it's still there. A tapestry that draws me towards my work as if I myself was one of its threads.
Written By Nurie
May 6, 2019, 5:27 p.m.(1/20/1011 AR)
Never forget what you are, for even those that you trusted or regarded with affection never shall, when the opportunity to presume the worst of you arises. This was told to me thousands of times and ways since I can remember, even at my mother's knee. And yet, when the truth of those words comes home to roost, at least for me, it does not stop the sting of tears from rising, no matter how I try to remember that it only hurts because I forgot my place.
Written By Nurie
April 28, 2019, 9:35 p.m.(1/4/1011 AR)
Oh, another birthday come and gone. And a good time to reflect on all the treasures that have been added to my life in the last year. My beloved lady's success, and knowing that I had a small hand in aiding it. Another year that despite my fears no harm has come to my siblings. Another year that I miss Mother so deeply, and would give almost anything to hear her laugh down the hall, or to feel her hand upon my cheek. New friends coming into my life and sadly some leaving it. A store that has prospered, and a little place to carve out for my own. New hopes, broken ones too. Some worries set aside, and others that grow. But I am still here, I still feel the sun's light upon my face despite the stinging of the show. There are so many things I long for. But just as this year of my life has ended, I have turned over the page to the next year of it to see if I can chase them just a little further.
Written By Nurie
April 14, 2019, 3:16 p.m.(12/4/1010 AR)
Though it's so very easy for me to catch a chill, I think autumn is one of my favorite seasons. I miss the summer fruits, and the sweetest of wildflowers, but I cannot deny that something spicy and rich seems all the more delicious now. Especially by fireside, snuggled up in something warm. It has been pleasant carefully packing away some of my lady's summer garments to be stored, and to lay out and care for the new season of furs and weightier silks. The nice thing about being one of the few entrusted with such valuable is that I can hug the furs as much as I want without anyone seeing!
The colder, cozier weather has me thinking a lot about home. How to create one, for myself, and others. And thinking about how fortunate I am that in this turning of the year, I still have almost all of those so dear to me.
The colder, cozier weather has me thinking a lot about home. How to create one, for myself, and others. And thinking about how fortunate I am that in this turning of the year, I still have almost all of those so dear to me.
Written By Nurie
April 12, 2019, 7:01 p.m.(11/28/1010 AR)
Relationship Note on Sabine
Protective muse. Beloved sister.
Written By Nurie
April 12, 2019, 4:01 a.m.(11/27/1010 AR)
A bouquet of fall leaves just as colorful and lively as spring flowers, the silvery light of the moon making the shadows draw long and inky black, the still pleasant nip of cold air at noses and cheeks, and a sweet companion to stroll with.
Sometimes despite whatever pain or fear or uncertainty that may envelop us, there is a blessing of something near-magical to ease heart and mind. At least for a little while.
Sometimes despite whatever pain or fear or uncertainty that may envelop us, there is a blessing of something near-magical to ease heart and mind. At least for a little while.
Written By Nurie
April 7, 2019, 6:15 p.m.(11/18/1010 AR)
Only a handful of weeks more until my very favorite time of the year! I know that we should always show our appreciation to those most dear to us, in small ways and in large ways. But there is just something so wonderfully exciting about having even more of an excuse to find just the right thing for just the right person. It is then the waiting until the right time that is then so terrible!
Written By Nurie
April 6, 2019, 11:36 p.m.(11/17/1010 AR)
I think my first memory is a whispered word.
I've heard it so often, through the years. Always on the edge of someone's tongue. Oh how many times I have danced and soothed and laughed, anything to soften the sharpness of it, carried so quietly on other people's tongues and in their eyes. How can I explain that the first word I remember other than my name, the whisper that follows so closely to unravel hard work, to kindle disappointment in another's eyes, to stoke a cold anger even in those that I love and I love me, sometimes I think that it is the carver's knife that has crafted me and the sand to polish me into what I have become.
And yet.
Why is it that I was so warmed, to hear it spoken as if it were just part of a family? Without shame. Perhaps not even with shame even remote considered. It is just a word.
Could I be loved because of, rather than in spite of?
Or is that just the part of me that wishes things to be so, and so will cut and reform any puzzle piece to fill that space within my heart.
I've heard it so often, through the years. Always on the edge of someone's tongue. Oh how many times I have danced and soothed and laughed, anything to soften the sharpness of it, carried so quietly on other people's tongues and in their eyes. How can I explain that the first word I remember other than my name, the whisper that follows so closely to unravel hard work, to kindle disappointment in another's eyes, to stoke a cold anger even in those that I love and I love me, sometimes I think that it is the carver's knife that has crafted me and the sand to polish me into what I have become.
And yet.
Why is it that I was so warmed, to hear it spoken as if it were just part of a family? Without shame. Perhaps not even with shame even remote considered. It is just a word.
Could I be loved because of, rather than in spite of?
Or is that just the part of me that wishes things to be so, and so will cut and reform any puzzle piece to fill that space within my heart.
Written By Nurie
Feb. 17, 2019, 5:33 p.m.(8/4/1010 AR)
Question everything, and be mindful of the fullness of the pathways that you might find. For most of my life these things have been joyful principles to live by. And now I find the joy and sweetness so recently upon my tongue to have turned to ash, and my needle stilled, and I find myself drowning in trying so very hard to not imagine shadows that are not there, while preparing to see them in places I would have never thought the darkness could touch.
Written By Nurie
Feb. 10, 2019, 3:13 p.m.(7/18/1010 AR)
All of the last week or more it seems I have been surrounded in my workshop and in my store by wonderous creatures. Though there is nothing quite like the satisfaction of seeing someone gasp at the fit of a gown or suit that feels and looks better than they'd hoped, and few things more lovely than seeing the transformation of the heart and spirit that can happen when a lady or a lord or a goodman or goodwoman feels like their image in their best mind's eye is now displayed for the world to see...
Truly, I enjoy making masks as well. There's something lovely about stepping into a role less fraught and more fanciful, and I enjoy seeing the smiles that they bring. And until they leave the shop, I get to feel as if I am living in a storybook tale! There is a part of me that longs to creep in to the gatherings where I know they'll be worn, just to see how they are enjoyed, and the reactions to them. But, as in all things, a place for everything, and everything in its place.
Truly, I enjoy making masks as well. There's something lovely about stepping into a role less fraught and more fanciful, and I enjoy seeing the smiles that they bring. And until they leave the shop, I get to feel as if I am living in a storybook tale! There is a part of me that longs to creep in to the gatherings where I know they'll be worn, just to see how they are enjoyed, and the reactions to them. But, as in all things, a place for everything, and everything in its place.
Written By Nurie
Feb. 8, 2019, 10:47 p.m.(7/15/1010 AR)
It's here! After all the work put in by our artisans, and all of my sister's careful devotion and vision to making it so. The brocade is so beautiful, I could scarcely believe my eyes--or my fingertips--when the first crate was opened here. I'd never thought I'd see something that captivated me as much as seasilk does, but...oh, it is lovely. And to think that Tessere was the birthplace of it!
Written By Nurie
Jan. 27, 2019, 4:46 p.m.(6/18/1010 AR)
This last turning of the seasons has been unexpectedly melancholy of me. Though I love it here in Arx, perhaps it has just been enough time away from Iriscal, and all the little familiar comforts (and perils!) of home that all the changes started to pull and tug and wear on me even though I scarcely knew it. Even in the midst of such excitement, and even though I have my most best loved in the world sister with me here, sometimes being between one world and another, in an environment that seems foreign...it is a profoundly lonely place.
But the gift received last week at least provides me with one more excuse to leave the house! And with the warmth now returned, and being able to walk and feel the sun's smile upon my skin without four layers of wool between us, and also feeling as if I have taken at least one of my greatest fears a little more in hand, I feel more like myself than I have in weeks. My heart and mind are inspired, and my hands are active again in my workshop, and in just a few days I will be able to share what I've been working on in the shop!
But the gift received last week at least provides me with one more excuse to leave the house! And with the warmth now returned, and being able to walk and feel the sun's smile upon my skin without four layers of wool between us, and also feeling as if I have taken at least one of my greatest fears a little more in hand, I feel more like myself than I have in weeks. My heart and mind are inspired, and my hands are active again in my workshop, and in just a few days I will be able to share what I've been working on in the shop!
Written By Nurie
Jan. 20, 2019, 3:37 p.m.(6/4/1010 AR)
Relationship Note on Aleksei
Words to ease the heart and lift the spirit, spoken under the shrine's luminous painted sky, where the only others with ears to hear are the gods. Thank you for the gift of your time and your kind patience.
Written By Nurie
Jan. 20, 2019, 2:42 p.m.(6/4/1010 AR)
The horse races were so thrilling last week, I was quite beside myself in enjoyment of them, and shared my enthusiasm with Princess Alarissa and Princess Donella seated in the stands nearby. It was a fun day at the beaches, in the midst of such worrying times, and then a surprise came today that I still must pinch myself repeatedly to be sure it's not just a dream.
A glorious white destrier, whose movements catch my breath just in the way she walks. A gift! And a gift for me, of all people! And yet for all her beauty she is so calm, and kind. Her muzzle is softer than the finest velvet, and she so carefully takes offerings from my hand. I think perhaps you are not supposed to, but she also didn't seem to mind at all when I hugged her neck and rested my ear against her, to listen to the rhythm of her powerful breathing and heartbeat. And as it turns out, she will sit as patiently as my lady for her lovely mane to be braided and baubled as well.
The groom says that I can start my lessons tomorrow. I have tried several times to start the letters of thanks that will go out to Princess Alarissa and Duke Christoph also, but every time I find tears of happiness spilling upon the page and I must start anew. It seems such a childish thing, to have the heart radiant with happiness in such times, but I am blessed beyond measure to have yet one more thing to ward off the darkness and worry that seems to have settled in the bottom of my throat these days.
A glorious white destrier, whose movements catch my breath just in the way she walks. A gift! And a gift for me, of all people! And yet for all her beauty she is so calm, and kind. Her muzzle is softer than the finest velvet, and she so carefully takes offerings from my hand. I think perhaps you are not supposed to, but she also didn't seem to mind at all when I hugged her neck and rested my ear against her, to listen to the rhythm of her powerful breathing and heartbeat. And as it turns out, she will sit as patiently as my lady for her lovely mane to be braided and baubled as well.
The groom says that I can start my lessons tomorrow. I have tried several times to start the letters of thanks that will go out to Princess Alarissa and Duke Christoph also, but every time I find tears of happiness spilling upon the page and I must start anew. It seems such a childish thing, to have the heart radiant with happiness in such times, but I am blessed beyond measure to have yet one more thing to ward off the darkness and worry that seems to have settled in the bottom of my throat these days.
Written By Nurie
Jan. 20, 2019, 12:20 p.m.(6/4/1010 AR)
It has been a fortnight of very worrying events. As things trickled in here and there, whispered and gossiped in the market, hearing about what the baker's son's wife who is in service to an oathland's lord has said contrasted with what the butcher's sister's letters have said from the mountains and how the butcher is near beside herself with worry--there are so many worried people amongst the smallfolk as well. A trip to the market takes longer, to listen and light a hand on someone you've come to know since your time in the city. Just to listen. Perhaps to offer a handkerchief. It is a privilege to have others be so unguarded, knowing that you are willing to listen even if you can't help, exactly.
But it was far easier to do so, when I did not have to worry about Iriscal as well. So many slaughtered just outside our doorstep, and going to seek or having been honored already to serve the Thirteenth. Does this mean that those that hate the Thirteenth will steal over to hurt people in Iriscal as well? My beloved lady is here, and so there is a measure of safety I think. And my sweet brother as well, and they are well protected by Sir Elysio. But our old nurse is still in the family's home household, and so is the stern steward who has been there since...since my mother's mother I am sure! And the captain of the guards there. I couldn't bear to think of anything happening to them, or their children, or their children's children. When I was little and couldn't sleep, the captain of the guard didn't mind me walking along with him as long as I was quiet. And sometimes he would hold my hand and let me walk along the lower parapets, as long as the stone wasn't too slippery. I am sure that those that were slain, and yes even those that did the slaying--all of them surely have given and received little moments of kindness and love and unseen care for another. Perhaps they are more alike than they are different. Probably they are all doing the bidding of another far above their station.
What is it within us that we see not the man who cuddles and kisses and plays with his little child before he must put on his armor and take up his sword, the woman who keeps such meticulous journals of her faith and findings but yet has at her soul an eye for beauty that is so easy to see if only one takes a breath to look, the youth that embarks upon a journey away from home for the first time and is so excited and when he first sees the raised swords he might well wonder if it's some sort of strange salute? What makes us only see the cloaks our minds put upon others, to make them easier to harm and think it good and right?
I do not know. And here, things move forward as if nothing has happened, except for hidden tears in the market, and worries about profits (or happiness about them increasing, depending) because of the rising danger along trade routes.
It is a place most strange to be. But here I am, mending and creating and altering for so many that look quite the same when they're waiting for me in their underclothes.
But it was far easier to do so, when I did not have to worry about Iriscal as well. So many slaughtered just outside our doorstep, and going to seek or having been honored already to serve the Thirteenth. Does this mean that those that hate the Thirteenth will steal over to hurt people in Iriscal as well? My beloved lady is here, and so there is a measure of safety I think. And my sweet brother as well, and they are well protected by Sir Elysio. But our old nurse is still in the family's home household, and so is the stern steward who has been there since...since my mother's mother I am sure! And the captain of the guards there. I couldn't bear to think of anything happening to them, or their children, or their children's children. When I was little and couldn't sleep, the captain of the guard didn't mind me walking along with him as long as I was quiet. And sometimes he would hold my hand and let me walk along the lower parapets, as long as the stone wasn't too slippery. I am sure that those that were slain, and yes even those that did the slaying--all of them surely have given and received little moments of kindness and love and unseen care for another. Perhaps they are more alike than they are different. Probably they are all doing the bidding of another far above their station.
What is it within us that we see not the man who cuddles and kisses and plays with his little child before he must put on his armor and take up his sword, the woman who keeps such meticulous journals of her faith and findings but yet has at her soul an eye for beauty that is so easy to see if only one takes a breath to look, the youth that embarks upon a journey away from home for the first time and is so excited and when he first sees the raised swords he might well wonder if it's some sort of strange salute? What makes us only see the cloaks our minds put upon others, to make them easier to harm and think it good and right?
I do not know. And here, things move forward as if nothing has happened, except for hidden tears in the market, and worries about profits (or happiness about them increasing, depending) because of the rising danger along trade routes.
It is a place most strange to be. But here I am, mending and creating and altering for so many that look quite the same when they're waiting for me in their underclothes.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.