Written By Lianne
Nov. 27, 2023, 9:38 p.m.(4/9/1021 AR)
Sometimes, the answers are obvious. Not everything is a puzzle or a purpose. Some things are exactly as they seem, no overthinking required.
I ought to keep this in mind.
I ought to keep this in mind.
Written By Lianne
Nov. 26, 2023, 7:01 p.m.(4/7/1021 AR)
We've managed to open the doors of the Academy of Occult Sciences in Nilanza and accept our first set of students. It's been a challenging process. The eagerness some prospective students show has been concerning, and not everyone has taken rejection well. Still, it's a solid beginning, good progress toward facing the unknown with curiosity rather than fear.
There's yet a great deal of work to be done in the coming months, but I trust in my family, our people and our allies. It is my sincerest hope that the Academy is thriving by this time next year, our processes streamlined and our halls filled with good people looking to conduct worthwhile work.
There's yet a great deal of work to be done in the coming months, but I trust in my family, our people and our allies. It is my sincerest hope that the Academy is thriving by this time next year, our processes streamlined and our halls filled with good people looking to conduct worthwhile work.
Written By Lianne
Nov. 22, 2023, 10:44 p.m.(3/27/1021 AR)
Reading through my old journals from my first year or so here in the capital, I don't entirely recognize the girl I was. I'm glad for that.
I think I'll stop by Lagoma's shrine on my way home.
I think I'll stop by Lagoma's shrine on my way home.
Written By Lianne
Nov. 12, 2023, 10:49 p.m.(3/7/1021 AR)
I had worried, after spending so long away, Arx would not feel like home anymore. Then, this week, I have reveled in how one dearest to me has changed, exchanged jabs with my oldest friend, cried (just a little) with my brighter half, received the single best hug in all of Arvum and filled my parlor with poetry. I've found myself a new adventure and engaged in proper mischief with my preferred partner in crime.
None of this is why I returned--I am very much here because there is work to be done--yet this is why I am glad to be here.
This is what makes Arx home.
None of this is why I returned--I am very much here because there is work to be done--yet this is why I am glad to be here.
This is what makes Arx home.
Written By Lianne
Aug. 4, 2021, 11:36 p.m.(12/17/1015 AR)
This week, I went somewhere I'd never been, tried something I was certain I never would, and learned something I never thought I would want to know.
I watched two dear friends celebrate their union in the company of others I enjoy. I saw the sunlight glinting off Graveyard of Swords and thought of those I haven't in an eternity. I received some necessary news that will allow me to move forward.
What a strange and wonderful week it's been. What fine company I've had for all of it.
I watched two dear friends celebrate their union in the company of others I enjoy. I saw the sunlight glinting off Graveyard of Swords and thought of those I haven't in an eternity. I received some necessary news that will allow me to move forward.
What a strange and wonderful week it's been. What fine company I've had for all of it.
Written By Lianne
July 28, 2021, 7:17 p.m.(12/3/1015 AR)
Unexpectedly, I've been reminded of something I hadn't even realized I'd lost.
I will never be a swordsman, but a fine instructor can render even the least interesting topics exceptionally compelling, particularly when they pay proper mind to how their student best learns. How long has it been since I took such pleasure in learning something new? I think I'll ask after another lesson.
If I retain nothing more than the capacity to hold a sword without embarrassing myself, that will be more than enough.
I will never be a swordsman, but a fine instructor can render even the least interesting topics exceptionally compelling, particularly when they pay proper mind to how their student best learns. How long has it been since I took such pleasure in learning something new? I think I'll ask after another lesson.
If I retain nothing more than the capacity to hold a sword without embarrassing myself, that will be more than enough.
Written By Lianne
June 14, 2021, 1:34 a.m.(8/26/1015 AR)
Relationship Note on Khanne
While I'm not sure we can find anything to top how we celebrated our birthdays--much belatedly--last year, I feel it merits an attempt.
Let's find ourselves an adventure, my magnificent dawn. Let's begin our next decade well.
Let's find ourselves an adventure, my magnificent dawn. Let's begin our next decade well.
Written By Lianne
June 11, 2021, 3:07 a.m.(8/20/1015 AR)
Relationship Note on Viviana
I'm so sorry. We can still pretend if you'd like.
Written By Lianne
June 9, 2021, 3:20 p.m.(8/17/1015 AR)
When I began writing this, I thought I'd speak to my birthday celebrations. Today marks the tenth I'll celebrate here in the capital. Perhaps I'd mention how Belladonna and I would celebrate together, our birthdays only four days apart, with grand parties in the walled gardens behind the old Pravus Manor. Maybe I'd mention how touched I was by the book Beatrice made for me five years ago, or how meaningful I found the pair of necklaces I received last year. It certainly tells a story: a bright beginning which seems so distant now; a loss so grave it nearly broke me; a recovery in the form of simple friendships. Perhaps that's enough.
Still, it's been ten years now. A whole decade of my life calling Arx home. I put stars over my bed then, glass shards to show the constellations over Setarco in the summer, and I have stars over my bed now, a summer night in Nilanza painted upon the ceiling, a means of keeping my other homes close despite the infrequency of visits.
I was so curious then. I'd wanted to learn absolutely everything, to crack the Dream open and drink up all it had to offer. A recipe for drowning, surely. I've since learned how to pace myself, how to focus on what truly intrigues me and let the all the rest go. Perhaps not entirely. It does help to know who knows what, to keep company with those who pursue curiosities beyond my own. I'm still a Scholar, after all, though I never did finish my Discipleship. What seemed so important to me then is so unrecognizable now.
I never thought I'd marry, but my reasons for avoidance disappeared once I was given my title, my march. It took a couple years for my resolve to wear down as well, to realize what I had in Valerius. It's been a year already, and it feels as if I've changed more in the year since his death than possibly in all the nine which preceded it, but I know that's not true.
Yet, as I set my pen to this page and consider how to document those changes, it feels immodest. And unduly vulnerable. This isn't the forum for that. I've grown a great deal, done things I never thought I would. I've made heartbreaking mistakes. I've made friends and fell in love and built very real and tangible things.
I have made some very important choices and, on the whole, find I am pleased with them.
I have already set down what burdens I do not wish to carry into my next decade. I am pleased with the weight which remains.
Still, it's been ten years now. A whole decade of my life calling Arx home. I put stars over my bed then, glass shards to show the constellations over Setarco in the summer, and I have stars over my bed now, a summer night in Nilanza painted upon the ceiling, a means of keeping my other homes close despite the infrequency of visits.
I was so curious then. I'd wanted to learn absolutely everything, to crack the Dream open and drink up all it had to offer. A recipe for drowning, surely. I've since learned how to pace myself, how to focus on what truly intrigues me and let the all the rest go. Perhaps not entirely. It does help to know who knows what, to keep company with those who pursue curiosities beyond my own. I'm still a Scholar, after all, though I never did finish my Discipleship. What seemed so important to me then is so unrecognizable now.
I never thought I'd marry, but my reasons for avoidance disappeared once I was given my title, my march. It took a couple years for my resolve to wear down as well, to realize what I had in Valerius. It's been a year already, and it feels as if I've changed more in the year since his death than possibly in all the nine which preceded it, but I know that's not true.
Yet, as I set my pen to this page and consider how to document those changes, it feels immodest. And unduly vulnerable. This isn't the forum for that. I've grown a great deal, done things I never thought I would. I've made heartbreaking mistakes. I've made friends and fell in love and built very real and tangible things.
I have made some very important choices and, on the whole, find I am pleased with them.
I have already set down what burdens I do not wish to carry into my next decade. I am pleased with the weight which remains.
Written By Lianne
June 6, 2021, 7:28 p.m.(8/11/1015 AR)
Relationship Note on Deva
So very little is permanent. What satisfaction we find is, yes, fleeting, but does that not make it more worthwhile? It's nothing to hold onto, but rather something to savor while it lasts.
The future is built upon the foundation we lay today. Let our work be glad and satisfying. Let it benefit those alive here and now. It's a better legacy than bitterness, isn't it?
The future is built upon the foundation we lay today. Let our work be glad and satisfying. Let it benefit those alive here and now. It's a better legacy than bitterness, isn't it?
Written By Lianne
June 4, 2021, 2:43 a.m.(8/6/1015 AR)
Relationship Note on Medeia
I'm very much looking forward to visiting Eswyndol for your poetry event. I've only been hosting because I've missed Princess Helena's readings so terribly. It thrills me to have another taking up the mantle, even if only for a night. I look forward both to your own verse and to what others bring. The creativity in the capital this season has been astounding.
Written By Lianne
May 30, 2021, 11:26 p.m.(7/26/1015 AR)
Relationship Note on Desiree
You did wonderfully. I'm grateful. To you and to everyone who worked together to write poetry last night. You were all brilliant and brave. Thank you.
Written By Lianne
May 29, 2021, 4:27 p.m.(7/23/1015 AR)
Relationship Note on Viviana
What breaks your heart and what brightens your day.
Written By Lianne
May 13, 2021, 1:17 a.m.(6/18/1015 AR)
All dreams end. Few are ever seen to fruition. I should have let this one die years ago. Instead, I let it take root, spread. There was enthusiasm, hope. And, today, I wrote a handful of letters to put a quick end to all that optimism and creativity.
How biting and bitter this grief left behind.
Maybe something else will grow there in time. I think I'll keep my ambitions a bit more modest for a while.
How biting and bitter this grief left behind.
Maybe something else will grow there in time. I think I'll keep my ambitions a bit more modest for a while.
Written By Lianne
May 4, 2021, 11:33 p.m.(6/2/1015 AR)
Relationship Note on Medeia
Some months ago, Lady Medeia Eswynd asked me one question which, when explored and acted upon, proved demonstrably invaluable to the well-being of the Compact. I am proud beyond measure to have been able to coordinate those efforts, to keep the company of such brave and brilliant individuals, to know the work spread beyond the edges of my familiarity.
Thank you, my friends, for that conversation in the solarium with which we built something new and necessary.
Thank you, each of you who made your sacrifices and spoke your words. All those broken windows and bitter memories did what they needed to do.
And thank you, Lady Medeia, for asking your question and trusting me to find an answer.
While I know the losses were grievous, I know too that we would have lost significantly more still if she'd kept that question to herself.
Thank you, my friends, for that conversation in the solarium with which we built something new and necessary.
Thank you, each of you who made your sacrifices and spoke your words. All those broken windows and bitter memories did what they needed to do.
And thank you, Lady Medeia, for asking your question and trusting me to find an answer.
While I know the losses were grievous, I know too that we would have lost significantly more still if she'd kept that question to herself.
Written By Lianne
April 29, 2021, 2:15 p.m.(5/19/1015 AR)
Relationship Note on Auda
I find that feeling is the oft-overlooked companion of accomplishment, that awful ache of what next. The possibilities can seem at once so vast and so sparse.
Written By Lianne
April 13, 2021, 12:54 a.m.(4/14/1015 AR)
Relationship Note on Denica
Even a cat can be charmed for a short while.
Written By Lianne
April 11, 2021, 9:58 p.m.(4/11/1015 AR)
There is a particular pleasure taken in aiding another in bringing their vision to fruition. I am genuinely delighted to work with such brilliant individuals capable of taking what others might dismiss and rendering it useful or beautiful, giving meaning to the discarded.
It feels like fitting work for spring.
It feels like fitting work for spring.
Written By Lianne
March 22, 2021, 2:16 a.m.(2/26/1015 AR)
Pasquale and Sunaia's wedding at the House of Vows in Nilanza was perfect. The weather might be a touch chilly still, but it's far warmer than the capital, absent snow, with waters just pleasant enough still for swimming. The subsequent days spent hosting a few notable guests, showing them my march and much of its loveliness, helped lighten my heart in such unexpected ways. The joy of deepening acquaintances, the rarest pleasure of being seen and understood, the sheet delight of witnessing silliness from oft-restrained sources.
I feel fortunate today, both to have such fine friends and to see my family grow so well. Lady Sunaia is a fine addition to House Malespero, and I hope, come spring, that we can set to answering all she asked for, the least of which will be planted once the ground is soft enough.
I feel fortunate today, both to have such fine friends and to see my family grow so well. Lady Sunaia is a fine addition to House Malespero, and I hope, come spring, that we can set to answering all she asked for, the least of which will be planted once the ground is soft enough.
Written By Lianne
March 10, 2021, 2:28 a.m.(2/2/1015 AR)
Relationship Note on Percephon
Percephon was one of my first and truest friends here in the capital. I still remember certain details of our first conversations, nearly a decade ago now, so vividly. Curiosities about colors before he made his terrible attempts at painting. Our contention before we settled into mutual respect. Our discussions about experiments. Our terrible trip up to the Red Mountains through the snow. All the metaphysical theory which followed.
He was one of the first to watch after me as I began my studies in earnest, always quick with a polished mirror and a keen question. He started the rumor of my beard. He married the woman who's become my dearest friend over the years. And he drifted away into his work as I retreated into mine.
It is a strange ache, to lose someone whose significance had dimmed, who held an important role in foundational years but had grown distance since. It feels so dull when I know how Khanne must hurt, how unique the grief which comes with the lose of one's beloved.
Still, that's three this month. Three people I'd known for nearly my entire time in Arx, three people who held particular places in my heart, dead or disappeared. And that on top of other losses.
If winter is to be a time of reaping, let spring bring growth to match.
He was one of the first to watch after me as I began my studies in earnest, always quick with a polished mirror and a keen question. He started the rumor of my beard. He married the woman who's become my dearest friend over the years. And he drifted away into his work as I retreated into mine.
It is a strange ache, to lose someone whose significance had dimmed, who held an important role in foundational years but had grown distance since. It feels so dull when I know how Khanne must hurt, how unique the grief which comes with the lose of one's beloved.
Still, that's three this month. Three people I'd known for nearly my entire time in Arx, three people who held particular places in my heart, dead or disappeared. And that on top of other losses.
If winter is to be a time of reaping, let spring bring growth to match.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.