Written By Lailah
Jan. 28, 2017, 11:21 p.m.(10/15/1005 AR)
I cannot believe this is the first time I've written anything since I've arrived back in Arx. Things were uneventful here for a little while, but that was all bound to change eventually. I need to write this all out to center my thoughts and keep focused, but I also believe it's best to keep these things recorded for the sake of record keeping. Being as this is a matter of public record, I shall try to keep this on matters at hand that are actually important.
I had a dinner recently. In this dinner my family was to discuss a trade agreement between two houses. The Bislands and the Fidantes. Mother had contacted me and asked specifically for me to come. I thought it strange, as I have no diplomatic ability, am terrible with people, and I have no negotiation skill. She'd led me to believe I was there to learn, observe, and help make the family look good. When I learned that the dinner was being hosted by one Angelo Fidante, I'd begun to grow suspicious of my mother's intentions of arranging this dinner. What good could possibly come of my attendance that made my appearance so essential?
A few days, or perhaps even a couple weeks previously, my mother, Iona, had spoken to me that the time to find a suitable courtship for me was at hand. I know I've never been very proactive in finding a man in my life, and I'll be honest, I've never been inclined to take a lover. With my studies my first priority, I just never sought anybody out. The idea that a man will be chosen for me now, however... it's a notion that chills me to my bone. It wasn't a bad talk, I feel as though I make it sound bad, but really, I understand my mother's concerns and I suppose a part of me looks forward to it. I don't have to choose and I know my mother will find somebody good for me. Father... perhaps not so much.
So, the dinner went well. For the most part. The trade deal was made and that went through without a hitch, but as I arrived, a space had been saved for me at the table. Right beside the host. In that moment, I knew my suspicions had been right, and that this was an attempt to get me in the same room next to a man my mother intended for me to marry. I felt my heart leap into my throat in that moment and I had to fight the urge to run far away. And yet... When I sat, and we spoke, I was immediately intrigued. He struck up a conversation about books and well... all my fears evaporated. I realized this was a man that I had interests with, that I could get to know. For the first time in a long time.
I know that my purpose at the meeting was to introduce me to a potential suitor, and though I hated Mother for it at first, I no longer do. I don't know if we will marry, or if the arrangements will go a different way. I only hope that at the very least, I've made a good friend that I can continue to confide in and get to know. Angelo, if you are reading this, I hope this doesn't put you off. This isn't a declaration of love, or anything. It's simply me, notating that as of this time, I don't know where I stand, but that for the first time in my life, I can see myself building a friendship, and an alliance with somebody, to marry and start a family with. This is all so strange and new, and I don't know if this is the stirrings of love, or just a wish to do my duty to my family. What I do know is, we agreed to meet again, we spoke and we connected again... after we'd disastrously both misunderstood the other's feelings and nearly ruined everything. I'm glad to have met you, and I hope we meet again many more times. I hope that this is the start of something special.
I know not if this is really an appropriate note for public record, and yet here it is. I know not what the future brings, but for the first time in my life, this uncertainty both frightens and excites me. I think I like it.
I had a dinner recently. In this dinner my family was to discuss a trade agreement between two houses. The Bislands and the Fidantes. Mother had contacted me and asked specifically for me to come. I thought it strange, as I have no diplomatic ability, am terrible with people, and I have no negotiation skill. She'd led me to believe I was there to learn, observe, and help make the family look good. When I learned that the dinner was being hosted by one Angelo Fidante, I'd begun to grow suspicious of my mother's intentions of arranging this dinner. What good could possibly come of my attendance that made my appearance so essential?
A few days, or perhaps even a couple weeks previously, my mother, Iona, had spoken to me that the time to find a suitable courtship for me was at hand. I know I've never been very proactive in finding a man in my life, and I'll be honest, I've never been inclined to take a lover. With my studies my first priority, I just never sought anybody out. The idea that a man will be chosen for me now, however... it's a notion that chills me to my bone. It wasn't a bad talk, I feel as though I make it sound bad, but really, I understand my mother's concerns and I suppose a part of me looks forward to it. I don't have to choose and I know my mother will find somebody good for me. Father... perhaps not so much.
So, the dinner went well. For the most part. The trade deal was made and that went through without a hitch, but as I arrived, a space had been saved for me at the table. Right beside the host. In that moment, I knew my suspicions had been right, and that this was an attempt to get me in the same room next to a man my mother intended for me to marry. I felt my heart leap into my throat in that moment and I had to fight the urge to run far away. And yet... When I sat, and we spoke, I was immediately intrigued. He struck up a conversation about books and well... all my fears evaporated. I realized this was a man that I had interests with, that I could get to know. For the first time in a long time.
I know that my purpose at the meeting was to introduce me to a potential suitor, and though I hated Mother for it at first, I no longer do. I don't know if we will marry, or if the arrangements will go a different way. I only hope that at the very least, I've made a good friend that I can continue to confide in and get to know. Angelo, if you are reading this, I hope this doesn't put you off. This isn't a declaration of love, or anything. It's simply me, notating that as of this time, I don't know where I stand, but that for the first time in my life, I can see myself building a friendship, and an alliance with somebody, to marry and start a family with. This is all so strange and new, and I don't know if this is the stirrings of love, or just a wish to do my duty to my family. What I do know is, we agreed to meet again, we spoke and we connected again... after we'd disastrously both misunderstood the other's feelings and nearly ruined everything. I'm glad to have met you, and I hope we meet again many more times. I hope that this is the start of something special.
I know not if this is really an appropriate note for public record, and yet here it is. I know not what the future brings, but for the first time in my life, this uncertainty both frightens and excites me. I think I like it.
Written By Lailah
Jan. 22, 2017, 10:08 a.m.(9/23/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Iona
My mother an I have an interesting relationship. We've butted heads in the past about my path in life, but I think that on the whole she's been supportive and only wants me to be careful of my own ambitions. In the end, I think she understood, and since I've been back in Arx, she's shown me a lot of support. The biggest development is that she informed me that she and my father would be seeking out a husband for me. It's left me rather nervous, not sure what to expect. I'm sure they'll pick me a fine match, and hopefully I can just continue my research unabated. Mother has always had my best interests at heart.
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