Written By Shard
Sept. 16, 2017, 4:13 p.m.(3/22/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Audric
I don't know, you inexplicably like an awful large number of people.
Written By Shard
Sept. 10, 2017, 3:37 a.m.(3/9/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Merek
My first direct encounter with the Compact was with a mercenary. That is to say, my first direct lesson of Compact culture was that among the Arvani, human life can be assigned specific, monetary values, often surprisingly low, and that this is a commonplace, accepted, and entirely legal practice, at which a good many people make entire careers out of. 'Different' is a very mild word to use for how I felt about it at the time, so I certainly understand.
Written By Shard
Sept. 7, 2017, 12:48 a.m.(2/28/1007 AR)
And since this is for the record, let it stand this way: they murdered four men. They stole people away. Their intent was sacrifice to the Horned Liar. Do you think this was their first time? Their camp was full of nothing but warriors and Abyssal wolves.
I didn't kill for any gods today and while I'm not dancing on any corpses, I'm not in the slightest bit fucking ashamed of what I did either. You called it a culling, and that's exactly what it fucking was, because that's exactly what it needed to be.
I didn't kill for any gods today and while I'm not dancing on any corpses, I'm not in the slightest bit fucking ashamed of what I did either. You called it a culling, and that's exactly what it fucking was, because that's exactly what it needed to be.
Written By Shard
Sept. 7, 2017, 12:02 a.m.(2/28/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Sparte
I think less of you for putting the lives of everyone in the group and all the prisoners in that hut in danger because you apparently think it matters if you kill a man a few minutes sooner than if you had just stood in a different spot and waited until everyone was ready, solely because someone told you to.
If you have a problem following other people's orders when it comes to combat, what the fuck are you doing on a mission in which lives depend on it?
If you have a problem following other people's orders when it comes to combat, what the fuck are you doing on a mission in which lives depend on it?
Written By Shard
Sept. 5, 2017, 12:52 p.m.(2/25/1007 AR)
As a follow-up to my entry a month or so ago regarding how you can never control an arrow once it leaves your bow, I'd like to note that you can never control the arrows of other archers at all. Blatantly obvious, but some fights you'll run or ride past every shot, and no matter how near a miss you won't be bleeding out on the battlefield.
And some it seems like every last fucking one of them has drawn your gods-damned number, and you spend hours after the battle is done getting an arrowhead cut out of your back and the wound burned shut.
Considering what happened, I'm fucking lucky. I'll be fine, with just another scar to show for it. It would be another story without even the leather armor and the cloak I had been wearing. Never ever get cocky in a fight, but particularly when there's still an archer on the field.
And some it seems like every last fucking one of them has drawn your gods-damned number, and you spend hours after the battle is done getting an arrowhead cut out of your back and the wound burned shut.
Considering what happened, I'm fucking lucky. I'll be fine, with just another scar to show for it. It would be another story without even the leather armor and the cloak I had been wearing. Never ever get cocky in a fight, but particularly when there's still an archer on the field.
Written By Shard
Sept. 4, 2017, 4:56 a.m.(2/22/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Calarian
We have exactly one way of freeing those that were bound. They were freed.
I have been an extremely loud voice in the preparation for this mission on behalf of the Abandoned. What's done is done. From what I've heard since, the right call was made. For that matter, you and others talked down at least some of those who actually did have a choice, and you somehow managed it in the heat of battle. Those you didn't? They had a choice too. They chose.
I'm confident that there was never going to be a better outcome to this encounter. I suspect if we hadn't caught them mid-hunt, you would have had even less success in convincing anyone to defect, because their Writ-bound leaders would not have been distracted by other prey.
I have been an extremely loud voice in the preparation for this mission on behalf of the Abandoned. What's done is done. From what I've heard since, the right call was made. For that matter, you and others talked down at least some of those who actually did have a choice, and you somehow managed it in the heat of battle. Those you didn't? They had a choice too. They chose.
I'm confident that there was never going to be a better outcome to this encounter. I suspect if we hadn't caught them mid-hunt, you would have had even less success in convincing anyone to defect, because their Writ-bound leaders would not have been distracted by other prey.
Written By Shard
Sept. 3, 2017, 12:53 p.m.(2/21/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Preston
While there will certainly be tribes that don't join up, I highly doubt the reason will be because they don't see the threat. It's possible, of course, but it's hard to survive long out there in any capacity if you ignore something like the growing strength of a warlord, let alone one as unique and blatantly dangerous as this. And while his danger has been something relatively newly known to the Compact, for reasons largely beyond your control, the Abandoned have been contending with the reality of his growing reach for decades. Not in this area, sure, but stories and rumors spread as fast as refugees. Even those who haven't heard of him will remember Brand's mark; you won't find many, if any, that won't take the matter seriously. The real problem is if they consider the Compact the greater threat to their lives. Convincing them that's not true will be the real task. Proving it's not true might be damn near impossible in the long run. We'll see.
Written By Shard
Sept. 3, 2017, 2:27 a.m.(2/20/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Harlan
It may help, or not, but wolves don't herd when they hunt. Not as you're thinking of it. The intent of herding is to keep the herd together; no, wolves work to break the herd apart. They will drive the herd in such a way as to drive off the weak, the injured, and the sick from the rest of the herd, so that the prey can be surrounded and brought down. Where this metaphor breaks down, of course, is that this is ultimately necessary, even good, but let's continue.
Where a wolf hunt fails is when the herd refuses to run. A herd that refuses to run, but merely circles to face the pack, with its weaker, smaller members protected in the middle, presenting a strong, united front, cannot be harried and split apart. A herd that refuses to run does not show its weaknesses to the pack. A pack will snap and snarl and try to get them to flee, sometimes for hours at a time, but eventually, the herd that stands strong will outlast a hunt and the pack will move on to easier, weaker prey.
If you must think of your enemies as wolves, then think of this mission as circling the herd.
Where a wolf hunt fails is when the herd refuses to run. A herd that refuses to run, but merely circles to face the pack, with its weaker, smaller members protected in the middle, presenting a strong, united front, cannot be harried and split apart. A herd that refuses to run does not show its weaknesses to the pack. A pack will snap and snarl and try to get them to flee, sometimes for hours at a time, but eventually, the herd that stands strong will outlast a hunt and the pack will move on to easier, weaker prey.
If you must think of your enemies as wolves, then think of this mission as circling the herd.
Written By Shard
Sept. 3, 2017, 1:46 a.m.(2/20/1007 AR)
Everyone will make an incredibly stupid decision from time to time. That's simply the reality of living. However, some people will, when faced with the option of making a smart decision, or the worst possible decision they could ever possibly make in their entire lives, choose the latter. And, once committed to this incredibly terrible decision, fully commit so thoroughly that they will never, ever turn away from it, even when it could not possibly fail to become clear just how truly awful their decision really was. Often, at this point, they end up dead.
That's a good thing, though, because if they don't die, they're likely to stay committed to whatever their fucking awful decision was. Most people will learn from their mistakes; but these people never, ever do.
I ran into at least one today. Hopefully there wasn't two of them.
That's a good thing, though, because if they don't die, they're likely to stay committed to whatever their fucking awful decision was. Most people will learn from their mistakes; but these people never, ever do.
I ran into at least one today. Hopefully there wasn't two of them.
Written By Shard
Aug. 29, 2017, 2:07 a.m.(2/10/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Petal
She prayed for dead Abandoned babies, and then turned around and prayed for their murderers, as well as going out of her way to absolve those members of the House that have had no part in any of it. Apparently, this is a terrible insult? The Thrax creed is 'Tears in our wake, never at our wake'. Whose tears, exactly, do they think those are?
Oh, I'm sure the prayer wasn't comfortable, but it's about the nicest fucking version of it there ever could be. That's war. That's what happens when villages get raided. That's what happens when tribes get destroyed, even when it's a tribe that absolutely, in every way, without any possible argument from anyone decent, has it coming. And how often does that happen, I wonder?
Seems about right that the reaction here is that a bunch of them get mortally offended at some seamstress who seems physically incapable of raising her voice or showing a glimmer of temper for daring to ask their goddess to be good to them and maybe, possibly, if she has the time, to try to get them to stop killing people who don't need killing quite so much.
Oh, I'm sure the prayer wasn't comfortable, but it's about the nicest fucking version of it there ever could be. That's war. That's what happens when villages get raided. That's what happens when tribes get destroyed, even when it's a tribe that absolutely, in every way, without any possible argument from anyone decent, has it coming. And how often does that happen, I wonder?
Seems about right that the reaction here is that a bunch of them get mortally offended at some seamstress who seems physically incapable of raising her voice or showing a glimmer of temper for daring to ask their goddess to be good to them and maybe, possibly, if she has the time, to try to get them to stop killing people who don't need killing quite so much.
Written By Shard
Aug. 27, 2017, 11:56 p.m.(2/8/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Blacktongue
Every now and then I encounter someone who thinks that, one way or another, they can decide how I should--not behave--but simply be, or at the very least, pretend to be. I have no idea why this happens. Maybe it makes them uncomfortable. Maybe they just want everyone to put on the same face in the same way. For whatever reason, they get it into their heads that I need to be more cheerful. I need to be happy. I need to smile. This usually happens the very first time we meet, sometimes the only time we meet. It's easy to tell them from the people who decide they want to cheer me up. Those might be a little mistaken or misguided, but their attempts usually try to do something for me. A smile, a bought drink, an invitation to sit with them. That, I can navigate, and usually, they seem to more or less come to the understanding that I am who I am and I am perfectly content to be that way.
No, these people are the ones that walk up and start prodding and pulling at me. They poke. They insinuate. Sometimes they demand or mock. Smile! Laugh! Be happy! Like I'm a dog trained to respond to their commands. The intent is obvious: I'm supposed to make them more comfortable. Pretending is perfectly acceptable, so long as they can't tell the difference.
I'm not interested in that, and never have been. That's why my job involves killing people for money, instead of making friends at court.
No, these people are the ones that walk up and start prodding and pulling at me. They poke. They insinuate. Sometimes they demand or mock. Smile! Laugh! Be happy! Like I'm a dog trained to respond to their commands. The intent is obvious: I'm supposed to make them more comfortable. Pretending is perfectly acceptable, so long as they can't tell the difference.
I'm not interested in that, and never have been. That's why my job involves killing people for money, instead of making friends at court.
Written By Shard
Aug. 26, 2017, 9:09 p.m.(2/6/1007 AR)
A place where every single animal, no matter what its species, is forced to ignore its needs and instincts due to some sort of powerful aura that keeps them docile so long as they're present has to be one of the creepiest things I've ever heard of. Multiple places like that? I'll be happy to never see one. That's the most unnatural thing I've ever heard of in my life.
Written By Shard
Aug. 25, 2017, 12:09 p.m.(2/3/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Lou
Now I'm confused. I've never heard of the Oriel Woodland, but I thought Petrichor granted humans the right to do exactly this sort of thing where they needed and wanted. Does dominion over nature have exceptions?
I mean that question in all sincerity, I've found no god or his followers more personally baffling since coming to Arx than Petrichor.
I mean that question in all sincerity, I've found no god or his followers more personally baffling since coming to Arx than Petrichor.
Written By Shard
Aug. 24, 2017, 2:52 p.m.(2/1/1007 AR)
I've never met a hero, and I never plan to. Heroes are stories we invent. People don't make good heroes, because people always make mistakes, and if we try to make them heroes, their mistakes get magnified as well and we all end up disappointed.
There are two people that, every now and then, my mind tries to make into heroes. It's easy, because those people are dead, and I never actually knew them, so I can invent all sorts of ridiculous, stupid stories to turn them into whatever I want. When I was young, I did this all the time. I wanted them to be heroes. I made them into the most outlandish, overblown heroes you can possibly imagine. I probably needed them to be. I don't do that any more, because I'm not a child. Those people weren't heroes, they were people. Now and then I have to remind myself of that.
There's nothing wrong with stories as long as we remember the difference. But don't turn people into stories, especially if they're living. And don't make the mistake of thinking of yourself as one. That's a quick way of ending up dead, or insufferable.
There are two people that, every now and then, my mind tries to make into heroes. It's easy, because those people are dead, and I never actually knew them, so I can invent all sorts of ridiculous, stupid stories to turn them into whatever I want. When I was young, I did this all the time. I wanted them to be heroes. I made them into the most outlandish, overblown heroes you can possibly imagine. I probably needed them to be. I don't do that any more, because I'm not a child. Those people weren't heroes, they were people. Now and then I have to remind myself of that.
There's nothing wrong with stories as long as we remember the difference. But don't turn people into stories, especially if they're living. And don't make the mistake of thinking of yourself as one. That's a quick way of ending up dead, or insufferable.
Written By Shard
Aug. 23, 2017, 12:20 p.m.(1/27/1007 AR)
I'll be frank, I planned to attend the Grayson meeting and listen only. I had no intention to speak. I expected something far different than what happened. On the topic of the Abandoned, my expectations were, and have always been, far below what was suggested last night as far as action, let alone that there would already be a plan in the works along the lines of something like this. If I had known in advance about some of the major motivation behind those patrols before this meeting? I would have expected the worst. I'd have still attended, but I'd have shown up...angrier, certainly.
Obviously, words, even these kinds of words, are cheap. Actions are what matter. What happens when good intentions run up against resistance is what matters. What happens when all of this gets hard and they get pushback from their own people is what matters. But it's so different from everything I've seen and come to expect so far that I have to give credit where it's due. So I'll give them this, without reserve. My expectations have been shattered in the best way possible. That doesn't happen often, and never before when it comes to this. So, okay, Grayson. Now. Go, prove you mean it.
Obviously, words, even these kinds of words, are cheap. Actions are what matter. What happens when good intentions run up against resistance is what matters. What happens when all of this gets hard and they get pushback from their own people is what matters. But it's so different from everything I've seen and come to expect so far that I have to give credit where it's due. So I'll give them this, without reserve. My expectations have been shattered in the best way possible. That doesn't happen often, and never before when it comes to this. So, okay, Grayson. Now. Go, prove you mean it.
Written By Shard
Aug. 22, 2017, 11:23 p.m.(1/26/1007 AR)
There's nothing I can do. Anything I try will make it more likely to happen. There's nothing I can do.
*the rest of the page is ripped out.*
*the rest of the page is ripped out.*
Written By Shard
Aug. 21, 2017, 6:14 a.m.(1/22/1007 AR)
I'm not sure there's anything so freeing or so frightening as a sea of infinite choices and endless possibilities, and every last one of them comes down to one single question: What now?
The Compact is obsessed with its records, so let this small journal state that on this day, at this hour, my first decision was to get slowly but thoroughly and very decisively drunk.
The Compact is obsessed with its records, so let this small journal state that on this day, at this hour, my first decision was to get slowly but thoroughly and very decisively drunk.
Written By Shard
Aug. 18, 2017, 12:19 a.m.(1/16/1007 AR)
It's not that I don't appreciate the feeling behind the sentiment, or the point of making it, it's just that I think maybe now isn't the greatest time to start setting terms like 'while any warrior of such and such place lives' and so on when making threats against unknown entities that just drowned a few hundred people in under five minutes.
As for what happened, what else can be said that won't be said in a thousand other journals? I didn't witness it, so I don't have my own account. It happened, read it from those who saw for themselves. And if you're willing to believe that every single Thraxian ship--and only Thraxian ships--sinking at the exact same time and taking most of their crews down with them in the middle of the day is a completely ordinary coincidence that can be entirely explained away by 'bad cargo', then I think you're an impossible idiot and you probably think I'm a mad fool, so hearty congratulations to us both.
As for what happened, what else can be said that won't be said in a thousand other journals? I didn't witness it, so I don't have my own account. It happened, read it from those who saw for themselves. And if you're willing to believe that every single Thraxian ship--and only Thraxian ships--sinking at the exact same time and taking most of their crews down with them in the middle of the day is a completely ordinary coincidence that can be entirely explained away by 'bad cargo', then I think you're an impossible idiot and you probably think I'm a mad fool, so hearty congratulations to us both.
Written By Shard
Aug. 13, 2017, 5:42 p.m.(1/7/1007 AR)
Winter is the worrying season. The testing season. The dying season. The season where things go wrong, and you're left with whatever you managed to do and keep and learn in previous seasons to sustain you, and to see if that's actually enough.
It's not like that here, and it leaves me feeling constantly twitchy and restless, like there are things I'm meant to be doing that I'm not. It's not that I don't have work flowing out of my ears, that I can't keep myself busy, but that it's not the right work. Working numbers on a page, running contracts and keeping the others in line doesn't feel like Winter's work, and it gets under my skin in ways that drive me a little mad. I don't sleep well in the winter since coming to Arx. It's both too quiet and too noisy. Too warm. My stomach is too full--work that one out. Even when we're out on contract, it doesn't feel quite right.
I'll be glad when spring comes again. I hate winters since coming to the city.
It's not like that here, and it leaves me feeling constantly twitchy and restless, like there are things I'm meant to be doing that I'm not. It's not that I don't have work flowing out of my ears, that I can't keep myself busy, but that it's not the right work. Working numbers on a page, running contracts and keeping the others in line doesn't feel like Winter's work, and it gets under my skin in ways that drive me a little mad. I don't sleep well in the winter since coming to Arx. It's both too quiet and too noisy. Too warm. My stomach is too full--work that one out. Even when we're out on contract, it doesn't feel quite right.
I'll be glad when spring comes again. I hate winters since coming to the city.
Written By Shard
Aug. 11, 2017, 1:41 a.m.(1/2/1007 AR)
Okay, I admit it, I have absolutely no idea what the point of a wildlife sanctuary in the forest is. I get the feeling, however, that I'm unlikely to see the purpose of such a thing even if someone does explain it to me. It's possible I'm missing some crucial detail.
I suspect, though, it's just another canyon's difference in perspective. A little like the practice of marking the turn of the year on a specific day, something I'm still not entirely used to, except with a lot more effort, money, and work hours thrown in, instead of a few parties, extra sentimentality and a lot of drinking.
I suspect, though, it's just another canyon's difference in perspective. A little like the practice of marking the turn of the year on a specific day, something I'm still not entirely used to, except with a lot more effort, money, and work hours thrown in, instead of a few parties, extra sentimentality and a lot of drinking.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.