Zara's Boon
Posted by Calithex on 03/06/20
We have been informed in the Twilight Court that one Princess Zara Valardin, known as the Gilded Dragon, has been granted a boon. Her request for aid against House Thornweave, known as Oberion's Extremely Questionable Family, has been received by one King Calithex Ael'Noctis, and we in his royal person elect to reply. We thus grant the following aid:
-Princess Zara Valardin shall henceforth be declared as Least Dull Valardin, and granted all ranks and privileges therein.
We grant to her a clutch from Oberogius' Nightmare. The eggs may be hatched in the presence of your enemy by pointing and intoning "I do not like that fellow" in thirteen different languages. At least three of these languages must be made up.
We grant her the service of the Second Most Powerful Bloodmage in battle with any Thornweavers. Any request of his presence must be made passive aggressively, and he is not to be complimented.
We award her the Blade of the Last Midnight, which we believe is presently a rabbit.
We grant her twelve and a half Vanguards of the Bat. One of them forgot our warning that sunlight is still lethal, but could likely be rolled at the enemy.
And, most importantly, we shall postpone our Grand Folly until after the current crisis, or until we change our mind.
Declared By,
King Calithex Thex, King of the Nox'alfar, Sovereign of the Twilight Court, First of the Harlequins, Voice of the Queen of Endings, Prince of the Sunless Realms, Conqueror of the Underrealms, Slayer of Uxmog the Unforgiven, Victor of the Thirteenth Battle of the Burning Sands, First Cursed by the Sun, First of the Dark Elves, Honorary Iron Guard Cadet, 3rd Class
--- Acheron Stance via Rhea ---
Princess Zara may also expect a congratulatory turtle by courier, which we advise only brandishing against tea.
--- Harlequins Stance via Hamish ---
The Harlequins issue a congratulations to Princess Zara and eagerly await full rankings of the relative dullness of all members of House Valardin.
--- Whisper Stance via Bliss ---
Be wary of the rabbits, Princess Zara. We are all watching to make sure this will be fun! No pressure. (Lots of pressure.)
--- Templars Stance via Preston ---
O....kay.... I guess? I mean, this is....nice? Maybe?
--- Greenmarch Stance via Monique ---
Greenmarch congratulates Princess Zara on the very fitting use of her Tournament of Thorns boon. Well timed.
--- Valardin Stance via Alis ---
You are at least positively milquetoast Zara dearest and we could not be more proud!!
--- Blackram Stance via Teagan ---
I think we all appreciate the delay of the Grand Folly in these times.
--- Lodge of Petrichor Stance via Leola ---
We see it daily, in the flight of birds and the running of horses and the hunting of wolves. There is strength together.
-Princess Zara Valardin shall henceforth be declared as Least Dull Valardin, and granted all ranks and privileges therein.
We grant to her a clutch from Oberogius' Nightmare. The eggs may be hatched in the presence of your enemy by pointing and intoning "I do not like that fellow" in thirteen different languages. At least three of these languages must be made up.
We grant her the service of the Second Most Powerful Bloodmage in battle with any Thornweavers. Any request of his presence must be made passive aggressively, and he is not to be complimented.
We award her the Blade of the Last Midnight, which we believe is presently a rabbit.
We grant her twelve and a half Vanguards of the Bat. One of them forgot our warning that sunlight is still lethal, but could likely be rolled at the enemy.
And, most importantly, we shall postpone our Grand Folly until after the current crisis, or until we change our mind.
Declared By,
King Calithex Thex, King of the Nox'alfar, Sovereign of the Twilight Court, First of the Harlequins, Voice of the Queen of Endings, Prince of the Sunless Realms, Conqueror of the Underrealms, Slayer of Uxmog the Unforgiven, Victor of the Thirteenth Battle of the Burning Sands, First Cursed by the Sun, First of the Dark Elves, Honorary Iron Guard Cadet, 3rd Class
--- Acheron Stance via Rhea ---
Princess Zara may also expect a congratulatory turtle by courier, which we advise only brandishing against tea.
--- Harlequins Stance via Hamish ---
The Harlequins issue a congratulations to Princess Zara and eagerly await full rankings of the relative dullness of all members of House Valardin.
--- Whisper Stance via Bliss ---
Be wary of the rabbits, Princess Zara. We are all watching to make sure this will be fun! No pressure. (Lots of pressure.)
--- Templars Stance via Preston ---
O....kay.... I guess? I mean, this is....nice? Maybe?
--- Greenmarch Stance via Monique ---
Greenmarch congratulates Princess Zara on the very fitting use of her Tournament of Thorns boon. Well timed.
--- Valardin Stance via Alis ---
You are at least positively milquetoast Zara dearest and we could not be more proud!!
--- Blackram Stance via Teagan ---
I think we all appreciate the delay of the Grand Folly in these times.
--- Lodge of Petrichor Stance via Leola ---
We see it daily, in the flight of birds and the running of horses and the hunting of wolves. There is strength together.