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|Action Id: 1590||Crisis:||Participants: Reese|
|Status: Resolved||Submitted: Jan. 5, 2018, 6:18 a.m.||Public: True||GM: Puffin|
Action by Reese
Reese would like to pray to each of the gods and all of the temples to the gods, including the 13th. She would also like to pray to Aion despite not knowing if he has a temple or not. She will try to prayer right after sleep when dreams are still lingering to Aion in place of a temple. Her primary focus will on prayers to Gloria, the god she feels she is the most connected with. But she also will focus on Limerance, Gild and the Sentinel. Reese would like to focus on her prayers on a few things.
On Opening herself to the gods and to the faith in general.
And on seeing if anything triggers her to feel a connection with the powers she either has or has had in the past. In the past Reese glowed twice in combat and was able to explode bringers, she also seemed be able to protect some around her (such as Tristam and Luca). Once in the battle on the Gray Forest mission, she felt Gloria touching her and her combat speed and skill increased. She would like to see if she feels any connection or trigger that might help her to understand this better.
She hasn't been able to draw upon this lately, including at Killian's death when she tried. Reese sees herself as a protector and Killian as a close friend and ally. She feels his death acutely and feels she failed to save him. This has struck a nerve and has given her a greater drive to understanding what connection with the gods she might have. After all if she did this before now, maybe Killian would be alive.
She would like try and figure out how she can save the next person, protect those around her and protect Crovane (where she thinks she will be assigned), Compact and the last daughter (who she thinks is a Redrain faction member) in the coming battles.
She would like to try and figure out if she can still call upon this or what she needs to do. She feels she lost her way a from a path she feels she was previously on. She would like to find it again. She feels Killian would want her to explore this, as he encouraged her to before his passing.
The first step, she thinks is praying and trying to feel a connection. While she will focus on Gloria, she doesn't want to close herself off to the other gods and she doesn't want to assume things. Many think she is touched by Gloria and Reese thinks she might be, but she doesn't want to ignore other clues around her and focus solely there. She isn't positive she is touched by Gloria, but she would like to reach out and see if she might be touched by her or another god. She wants to pray intensely, be humble and to be open.
Thanks, Reese's Player
Reese prays. She prays to the gods, and she spends time in the various shrines. It's a comfort now - the gentling of the grief she bears. In the Shrine of the Queen of Endings, she watches a spider skitter across the altar and smiles. Every soul returns to the Queen in the end. In the Shrine of Gloria, she remembers the look on Killian's face as he prepared for his last battle. In the Shrine of Limerance, she remembers the love of companions, of good friends - the bonds between them. In the Shrine of the Sentinel, she remembers his yearning for Justice and truth. At each shrine a different memory, in each place a different piece of her grief consoled. Not taken from her but eased, until at last her mind can focus.
She doesn't get an answer from the Gods, but what she gets instead is peace. Her steps take her at last to the Shrine of Skald and she goes in, and there she receives her answer. It is not in the form of divine revelation, nor in a quiet talk with any of the Godsworn there. No, it comes as she sits down to meditate. A pamphlet is there next to her, and she reads it out of habit until, struck, she stops at one paragraph.
There is no glory, no heroism, no goodness that means anything if it did not come from a free choice. Mistakes are not to be sought after, but they are to be learned from; since they cannot be changed, we can only take what wisdom there is available and do our best to move forward. Repair what can be repaired. Strive to do better next time. Move on. Do not let yourself be chained by your own mistakes.
And then she knows what she must do. As peace settles into her heart, so does the resolve she holds to make her own choices, and stand on the side of righteousness. Bolstered, she turns to step from the shrine, and as she moves the badge of the Red Wardens, the badge of the Red Wardens, kept always close on the necklace she wears, seems heavy against her skin.