Written By Zeriax
March 6, 2019, 9:33 p.m.(9/10/1010 AR)
Relationship Note on Gilroy
No.
Written By Zeriax
March 6, 2019, 9:29 p.m.(9/10/1010 AR)
This journal entry is made less for myself than it is for public consumption. As that is the case, I will provide a forewarning; if you are faint of heart, do not care for the opinions of commoners, or are happy going about your day without feeling the sting of reality, then please, do not read this. In other words, I'm going to hurt your feelings.
I debated not writing this for some time, especially considering the sensitive nature of the subject. While it may seem like I do not care, or that I'm actively attempting to disparage one person or another, I would ask that any who have chosen to read this far not be so quick to grab their torches and pitchforks. To start, this is about a topic that has come up very recently, which has effected some people very dearly. To some others, this couldn't matter any less. While I really should be in the latter category, there are some very legitimate concerns I have, some of which cannot be voiced through a White Journal for very specific reasons. If you're curious about those, come ask me. I don't mind.
In an effort to be as transparent as I'm able, I will admit that I lack a number of social skills and graces that most people take for granted. I don't have any brothers, sisters, or cousins. I don't have any familial relations that I'm aware of, outside of my mother and father with whom I cut contact with more than a decade ago of my own volition. I've never really had friends either, the vast landscape on the horizon and in my imagination more than enough to keep me company when I was without companionship. I don't know what it's like to forge strong relationships with anyone, because I never have. Nor do I know what it's like to lose someone close to me, a la the aforementioned point. Strong emotional ties to any one person, thing, or place aren't in my repertoire. That being said, it's not like I don't understand the concept whatsoever. I still ''have'' emotions. I feel like every other person does. I've seen what loss does to people, and it's not easy to get past. It never is, and sometimes? People can't move on at all.
I didn't know Lady Tessa Moore. I haven't been personally affected by her passing. By the way people speak of her, she sounds like the sort of woman I would have loved to get to know. For those people who are affected by her loss, I will be praying for you to find the strength to make it through the pain. I truly wish you well, despite what you may think Lady Gretchen Moore.
Wishing revenge is a natural reaction. Hunting down those that harmed your loved ones is understandable, and is often romanticized in works of fiction. Your feelings are wholly and utterly valid. There is no dispute there. What I do have open dispute with, is your desire to cull all the wolves from the woods. If you are angry, by all means, lash out. Strike out at your foes. Kill a wolf. Kill a pack of wolves, even. Nobody will fault you for seeking out justice in the wake of a lost loved one.
As unpopular as this opinion is likely going to be, and for as much ire that I'm going to draw from people sympathetic to your loss, I simply cannot let it pass. Seeking to obliterate an entire species because they exist is ridiculous and unhealthy in ways you might not immediately recognize, and that's not in reference to your personal well-being. With such a large bounty that's been placed on the wolves, it's not hard to imagine anyone who has even the slightest experience hunting is going to take up arms for that silver. I don't think that the offer alone will amount to completely killing every wolf in the forest, but it's the implication and the potential for what might follow should this pick up even the slightest momentum that bothers me.
What if I discover that it was actually a bear that killed your cousin? Will you switch bounties? Will it suddenly be a crusade to kill off all the bears in the forest? What if I discovered it wasn't an animal, but a human? Would you desire the death of every person in Arx? Some people might say 'Who cares, they're just animals'. Yes, and so are you, human. A wolf has a family, just like a human. They experience emotions, just like humans. Fear, hate, curiosity, love, and sorrow are all part of their emotional spectrum. Including loss. They form bonds between each other, just like humans. They have to eat, drink, and breathe, just like humans. If a group of humans were hungry, and needed to eat, and single wolf happened to wander right up to them, what do you think would happen? The humans would kill and eat the wolf, and feel no remorse. Not because they are monsters, but because they ''need to''. This is what happens in nature. Would the wolf's family be sad? Of course.
If the intention was purely to make the area safer for citizens of Arx, and for legitimate reasons, I likely wouldn't have spoken up in opposition to your ads. As a hunter, I've killed more than my fair share of...well, everything, and normally I wouldn't turn down such an amazing offer of silver to ply my trade. Killing off dangerous predators around the area isn't a bad thing. Potentially killing off corrupted beasts is an even greater accomplishment, a means to purify the land. Will people be safer if there are no more wolves? Sure. No wolf will ever attack a human again. That doesn't mean you should strive towards this goal. That doesn't make your goal noble. It doesn't even make it ''good''. Lady Tessa Moore could easily have fallen prey to something besides those you seek to annihilate. At the core of things, you don't want to protect people, though that may be a nice side-effect you can exploit. You blindly lust for blood. Not against those who directly wronged your cousin, or those who might even have been on the periphery of involvement. You just want blood. Any blood will do. All the better if you have all of it. Kill them all. Fuck the consequences. Fuck having to listen to any other opinions, or better options that might actually help preserve more lives in the long run. Fuck everyone else, in fact.
Lady Gretchen Moore, Tessa is dead. Wholesale slaughter of a species isn't going to bring her back. I am sorry for your loss. I am. But you cannot continue to perceive her death as a personal slight against you. This is very unhealthy, and I'm genuinely concerned for you. I'm concerned for where this path will lead you, and for what the results of your actions might mean for everyone else as well. If you wish to vent your rage, please do. Everyone does. Please, just consider what it might mean to have this bounty up beyond what it will do to satisfy your feelings.
I debated not writing this for some time, especially considering the sensitive nature of the subject. While it may seem like I do not care, or that I'm actively attempting to disparage one person or another, I would ask that any who have chosen to read this far not be so quick to grab their torches and pitchforks. To start, this is about a topic that has come up very recently, which has effected some people very dearly. To some others, this couldn't matter any less. While I really should be in the latter category, there are some very legitimate concerns I have, some of which cannot be voiced through a White Journal for very specific reasons. If you're curious about those, come ask me. I don't mind.
In an effort to be as transparent as I'm able, I will admit that I lack a number of social skills and graces that most people take for granted. I don't have any brothers, sisters, or cousins. I don't have any familial relations that I'm aware of, outside of my mother and father with whom I cut contact with more than a decade ago of my own volition. I've never really had friends either, the vast landscape on the horizon and in my imagination more than enough to keep me company when I was without companionship. I don't know what it's like to forge strong relationships with anyone, because I never have. Nor do I know what it's like to lose someone close to me, a la the aforementioned point. Strong emotional ties to any one person, thing, or place aren't in my repertoire. That being said, it's not like I don't understand the concept whatsoever. I still ''have'' emotions. I feel like every other person does. I've seen what loss does to people, and it's not easy to get past. It never is, and sometimes? People can't move on at all.
I didn't know Lady Tessa Moore. I haven't been personally affected by her passing. By the way people speak of her, she sounds like the sort of woman I would have loved to get to know. For those people who are affected by her loss, I will be praying for you to find the strength to make it through the pain. I truly wish you well, despite what you may think Lady Gretchen Moore.
Wishing revenge is a natural reaction. Hunting down those that harmed your loved ones is understandable, and is often romanticized in works of fiction. Your feelings are wholly and utterly valid. There is no dispute there. What I do have open dispute with, is your desire to cull all the wolves from the woods. If you are angry, by all means, lash out. Strike out at your foes. Kill a wolf. Kill a pack of wolves, even. Nobody will fault you for seeking out justice in the wake of a lost loved one.
As unpopular as this opinion is likely going to be, and for as much ire that I'm going to draw from people sympathetic to your loss, I simply cannot let it pass. Seeking to obliterate an entire species because they exist is ridiculous and unhealthy in ways you might not immediately recognize, and that's not in reference to your personal well-being. With such a large bounty that's been placed on the wolves, it's not hard to imagine anyone who has even the slightest experience hunting is going to take up arms for that silver. I don't think that the offer alone will amount to completely killing every wolf in the forest, but it's the implication and the potential for what might follow should this pick up even the slightest momentum that bothers me.
What if I discover that it was actually a bear that killed your cousin? Will you switch bounties? Will it suddenly be a crusade to kill off all the bears in the forest? What if I discovered it wasn't an animal, but a human? Would you desire the death of every person in Arx? Some people might say 'Who cares, they're just animals'. Yes, and so are you, human. A wolf has a family, just like a human. They experience emotions, just like humans. Fear, hate, curiosity, love, and sorrow are all part of their emotional spectrum. Including loss. They form bonds between each other, just like humans. They have to eat, drink, and breathe, just like humans. If a group of humans were hungry, and needed to eat, and single wolf happened to wander right up to them, what do you think would happen? The humans would kill and eat the wolf, and feel no remorse. Not because they are monsters, but because they ''need to''. This is what happens in nature. Would the wolf's family be sad? Of course.
If the intention was purely to make the area safer for citizens of Arx, and for legitimate reasons, I likely wouldn't have spoken up in opposition to your ads. As a hunter, I've killed more than my fair share of...well, everything, and normally I wouldn't turn down such an amazing offer of silver to ply my trade. Killing off dangerous predators around the area isn't a bad thing. Potentially killing off corrupted beasts is an even greater accomplishment, a means to purify the land. Will people be safer if there are no more wolves? Sure. No wolf will ever attack a human again. That doesn't mean you should strive towards this goal. That doesn't make your goal noble. It doesn't even make it ''good''. Lady Tessa Moore could easily have fallen prey to something besides those you seek to annihilate. At the core of things, you don't want to protect people, though that may be a nice side-effect you can exploit. You blindly lust for blood. Not against those who directly wronged your cousin, or those who might even have been on the periphery of involvement. You just want blood. Any blood will do. All the better if you have all of it. Kill them all. Fuck the consequences. Fuck having to listen to any other opinions, or better options that might actually help preserve more lives in the long run. Fuck everyone else, in fact.
Lady Gretchen Moore, Tessa is dead. Wholesale slaughter of a species isn't going to bring her back. I am sorry for your loss. I am. But you cannot continue to perceive her death as a personal slight against you. This is very unhealthy, and I'm genuinely concerned for you. I'm concerned for where this path will lead you, and for what the results of your actions might mean for everyone else as well. If you wish to vent your rage, please do. Everyone does. Please, just consider what it might mean to have this bounty up beyond what it will do to satisfy your feelings.
Written By Zeriax
March 2, 2019, 2:46 p.m.(9/2/1010 AR)
I thought I would be able to drink Shard under the table. Maybe I was just drinking too fast. Or maybe it was because I never learn my lesson, and I ended up mixing whiskey, rum, and something sugary again. Regardless, I feel terrible. Palms sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. Sorry Whisper Natalia, there's vomit on my tunic already. It's mixed with...coloured confetti? My head is pounding. The whole crowd, it got so loud...the door was open, but they didn't throw me out. They dragged me ''into'' the barracks when I could no longer snap back to reality. How Valorous of them.
And glass! There were shards of ''glass'' sticking out of me this morning. Covered in blood, and I didn't even get in a fight. At least, I don't think I did. I can't remember, but my face does feel like it was kissed by a hammer, and I have two black eyes. There were...points I blacked out. There was a beautiful song I remember hearing the whole night. It was in my mind this morning when I awoke. The world was still spinning, which felt ''terrible'', but the song kept me company. As did...a white falcon? Deliverance? I remember writing to Princess Grayson that night. How did I ever manage to hold onto a quill? I think I might've tried to hug Deliverance and use the bird as a pillow at some point. That might explain why there are deep cuts all over my chest. UGH.
What did I WRITE? I might have even written to other people while I was inebriated beyond the point of no return. If anyone reading this received a strange letter from me that night, just know that I was most certainly ''not'' in my right mind at the time. Oh my gods. If any of you who are reading this received a letter from me at some point yesterday and it was strange, or poorly written, forgive me. I think I kept calling Shard a Puma. Maybe that's where I got these black eyes? That doesn't explain the splinters though. Did she smash a chair over my face? Anyone who was there who could fill me in on what I might have done or said, that would be much appreciated. Thank you.
And glass! There were shards of ''glass'' sticking out of me this morning. Covered in blood, and I didn't even get in a fight. At least, I don't think I did. I can't remember, but my face does feel like it was kissed by a hammer, and I have two black eyes. There were...points I blacked out. There was a beautiful song I remember hearing the whole night. It was in my mind this morning when I awoke. The world was still spinning, which felt ''terrible'', but the song kept me company. As did...a white falcon? Deliverance? I remember writing to Princess Grayson that night. How did I ever manage to hold onto a quill? I think I might've tried to hug Deliverance and use the bird as a pillow at some point. That might explain why there are deep cuts all over my chest. UGH.
What did I WRITE? I might have even written to other people while I was inebriated beyond the point of no return. If anyone reading this received a strange letter from me that night, just know that I was most certainly ''not'' in my right mind at the time. Oh my gods. If any of you who are reading this received a letter from me at some point yesterday and it was strange, or poorly written, forgive me. I think I kept calling Shard a Puma. Maybe that's where I got these black eyes? That doesn't explain the splinters though. Did she smash a chair over my face? Anyone who was there who could fill me in on what I might have done or said, that would be much appreciated. Thank you.
Written By Zeriax
Feb. 26, 2019, 8:12 p.m.(8/22/1010 AR)
What is the worth of a single fly, or a blade of grass?
If all of the other flies in the world disappeared, would that single fly matter more? If all the blades of grass in the world were to disappear, but for a single leaf? Would it be worth protecting the fly over a the single stem? What impact would it have to save one over the other, if a choice had to be made? Would the choice be different if instead of a carrier of disease and a sigil for sickness, it was a bee? Or, if instead of grass, it was the last flower...ever?
Thoughts like these flood my mind, and I can't help but wonder...where do these thoughts even come from? My mind never stops. It only refocuses on something else. When I'm not working on discovering something, they come to me. Questions with perhaps little overall relevance. But then it keeps moving. Why not make things relevant? Another question, then, is what if one day everyone disappeared? What if one day, it was just...me? What would I do, if I found myself all alone?
It really puts things into perspective, I think. If there was nobody left, there would be nobody to speak to. Nobody to share with. To lean on, or to be leaned against. No children to teach and raise and marvel at when they grow into full people of their own. No elders who carry the wisdom of generations before us, sassy with experience. I could go anywhere. Do anything. Take anything, wear anything. Eat and drink anything. But would it matter? If there was nobody to pass my works or my knowledge or my stories onto, what would I live for? Silver would no longer hold relevance. Nor would locks on doors or chests. It would be a rather humbling experience, I imagined. A simple life under the watch and care of the Gods.
Something like that seems ridiculous to imagine. What's the point? I'll wake up, and I'll wave to my patron and her aides in the morning. Toss the dogs biscuits. I'll make my rounds. Nod to the guards early in the morning. Pay my respects to the dead in the graveyard. Say hello to those in the training center as I run the track. Duck under the watchful gaze of the Scholars in The Stacks. Share drinks with new friends in the taverns. People will still be there, even if my thoughts don't come to pass. So why bother?
I'd like to think it's to gain a new perspective. To try and imagine the world from a perspective not my own. If I really lost everyone I knew, ever known, and would ever know, where would the value of my efforts be placed? How much do I truly value these people? Would I weep, or scream, or laugh if they were gone? Do I cherish them as I should while they still live and breathe? It's really something. Even when it's not my intent to put myself through such experiences, they come nonetheless. Always.
If all of the other flies in the world disappeared, would that single fly matter more? If all the blades of grass in the world were to disappear, but for a single leaf? Would it be worth protecting the fly over a the single stem? What impact would it have to save one over the other, if a choice had to be made? Would the choice be different if instead of a carrier of disease and a sigil for sickness, it was a bee? Or, if instead of grass, it was the last flower...ever?
Thoughts like these flood my mind, and I can't help but wonder...where do these thoughts even come from? My mind never stops. It only refocuses on something else. When I'm not working on discovering something, they come to me. Questions with perhaps little overall relevance. But then it keeps moving. Why not make things relevant? Another question, then, is what if one day everyone disappeared? What if one day, it was just...me? What would I do, if I found myself all alone?
It really puts things into perspective, I think. If there was nobody left, there would be nobody to speak to. Nobody to share with. To lean on, or to be leaned against. No children to teach and raise and marvel at when they grow into full people of their own. No elders who carry the wisdom of generations before us, sassy with experience. I could go anywhere. Do anything. Take anything, wear anything. Eat and drink anything. But would it matter? If there was nobody to pass my works or my knowledge or my stories onto, what would I live for? Silver would no longer hold relevance. Nor would locks on doors or chests. It would be a rather humbling experience, I imagined. A simple life under the watch and care of the Gods.
Something like that seems ridiculous to imagine. What's the point? I'll wake up, and I'll wave to my patron and her aides in the morning. Toss the dogs biscuits. I'll make my rounds. Nod to the guards early in the morning. Pay my respects to the dead in the graveyard. Say hello to those in the training center as I run the track. Duck under the watchful gaze of the Scholars in The Stacks. Share drinks with new friends in the taverns. People will still be there, even if my thoughts don't come to pass. So why bother?
I'd like to think it's to gain a new perspective. To try and imagine the world from a perspective not my own. If I really lost everyone I knew, ever known, and would ever know, where would the value of my efforts be placed? How much do I truly value these people? Would I weep, or scream, or laugh if they were gone? Do I cherish them as I should while they still live and breathe? It's really something. Even when it's not my intent to put myself through such experiences, they come nonetheless. Always.
Written By Zeriax
Feb. 20, 2019, 12:51 a.m.(8/9/1010 AR)
Look at me go, Captain.
Threw some knives and got myself all cut up at the Sip n' Spar, hosted by the gracious Princess Valencia Velenosa. The event was a wonderful success! My date and I had a wonderful time (I'm kidding Princess You Know Who, I just want to make you blush). I drank and drank, and was obnoxious and loud. Quite the excuse, 'Oh, he's just a rowdy commoner', and 'he's how many ales in?'. There was great company, great conversation, and a number of others I had yet to make proper introductions with. To those of you who were present, but I had not interacted with on any meaningful level, I will see you in the coming days. As Count Athaur Rivenshari, Lady Mikani Redreef, and Princess Roxana Grayson can attest to, I was in fact, not as brutish and obnoxious as I made myself out to be. The showman you saw on the cutting room floor, however, was entirely me. Perhaps I will speak with this 'Caspian' fellow? I much enjoyed performing, even though I was leaving myself open to getting stabbed. Everywhere.
Watching the fights in the arena was quite the experience as well, and to the Whisper who would simply not die, I say this; May Lagoma forever watch over you. I think you'll need it, the way you took all-comers. You took on some of the best known fighters in the compact, if I'm to believe the words that night, and still managed to stand back up for more. It's truly admirable. The next time you and I have a rematch, don't be surprised if you're laid out again though. I hear I'm a good lay.
Oh, is that not how the saying goes?
My mistake, sorry. If only there was a way to white out the ink I put upon these pages to start again. Oh well. Aside from taking part in a fun night at the Hart, I also had a ''wonderful'' home cooked dinner, prepared by Sis. She's one of Natalia Whisper's aides, and certainly knows her dishes. Plenty of conversation over the dinner table, rounding out another pleasant evening. Not quite as exciting as the Sip n' Spar, but not everything has to be full-gallop all day everyday. It was relaxing.
This new day seemed to be entirely reserved for participating with the community. After my morning exercises at the Training Center (Thank you again for the recommendation Lord Domonico Malvici), I quickly made my way to the Society of Explorer's Charter Hall. I set up as many decorations as I could, and set out the drinks and other refreshments I 'borrowed' from the Academy. And other places. I'll replace those bottles Natalia, don't you worry. Compared to the impressive decorative skills of many of our more prestigious interior designers, my little bits of coloured string and re-arrangement of pre-existing chairs, tables, and chalkboards was rather paltry. Even so, I think the coloured chalk was a nice touch, and people seemed to enjoy it. Explorers gathered in a slow trickle in, popping in and out throughout the day, rather than all at once. I suppose that was only to be expected, considering our line of work, but overall it felt like a success. People came together. Shared their time and experiences with each other, as was the intent, and all left having learned something about their fellow colleagues. Not to mention we learned about...well, I'm sure you'll all just have to read about it in The Stacks, now won't you? Say hello to Marquessa Sasha Sana, and take joy in her new-found wellness.
After our Meet n' Greet between Explorers, I tore off my tunic (Pulled it off carefully and folded it neatly) and sprinted full tilt towards the War of the Berries. For days I'd been looking forward to throwing pies at people, if not actually getting pied myself. On the way there, it was a little awkward but I changed out of my nice pants silk pants and into my lounging pants from home, much to the...I would say horror, but I'm sure the maidens in the street were more impressed and appreciative of what they witnessed while I was in transition between states of dress. Then I pied some other fair maidens in the face, once I arrived. By the time I made my presence known, there were many others who were already covered in berry juices, and ''somehow'' I remained entirely berry-free. Another excuse to run around without my shirt on through the streets, I suppose. Not that any of the maidens really minded. I even managed to win a prize! Never before have I ever had in my possession a ''perfume''. This one is called 'Winter's Grove'. It smells nice, but that's the point I suppose. Lady Lorna Deepwood, many thanks for your contributions. Not only is my wardrobe and my face making the transition from wild man to civilized citizen, but now I will smell like one as well.
Not that I'm going to remain this way for too long. Don't worry, Archeress. I may wear the clothes, the aromas, and the cleaner cuts...but this heart will never be tamed.
I exchanged words with miss Penrose, thanking her for her contribution. One could tell much love and care went into baking those pies, so I thought it only right I take a couple extra for my Patron, her man, and her attendees, Sis and Podraig. They're delicious, trust me. Or, more like, trust Lady Peri Seliki and Lady Kaia Bisland. They should know first hand how they taste, after all. Thank you once again to the gracious host and hostess of the event, Lady Delilah Whitehawk, and Duke Malcolm Shepherd. It was berry nice.
Now we just have to start planning for the one with all the (the rest of this section is blotted out entirely with black ink, as if to cover up what was written after the fact). It'll be wonderful, and I think I know just who else to invite.
Threw some knives and got myself all cut up at the Sip n' Spar, hosted by the gracious Princess Valencia Velenosa. The event was a wonderful success! My date and I had a wonderful time (I'm kidding Princess You Know Who, I just want to make you blush). I drank and drank, and was obnoxious and loud. Quite the excuse, 'Oh, he's just a rowdy commoner', and 'he's how many ales in?'. There was great company, great conversation, and a number of others I had yet to make proper introductions with. To those of you who were present, but I had not interacted with on any meaningful level, I will see you in the coming days. As Count Athaur Rivenshari, Lady Mikani Redreef, and Princess Roxana Grayson can attest to, I was in fact, not as brutish and obnoxious as I made myself out to be. The showman you saw on the cutting room floor, however, was entirely me. Perhaps I will speak with this 'Caspian' fellow? I much enjoyed performing, even though I was leaving myself open to getting stabbed. Everywhere.
Watching the fights in the arena was quite the experience as well, and to the Whisper who would simply not die, I say this; May Lagoma forever watch over you. I think you'll need it, the way you took all-comers. You took on some of the best known fighters in the compact, if I'm to believe the words that night, and still managed to stand back up for more. It's truly admirable. The next time you and I have a rematch, don't be surprised if you're laid out again though. I hear I'm a good lay.
Oh, is that not how the saying goes?
My mistake, sorry. If only there was a way to white out the ink I put upon these pages to start again. Oh well. Aside from taking part in a fun night at the Hart, I also had a ''wonderful'' home cooked dinner, prepared by Sis. She's one of Natalia Whisper's aides, and certainly knows her dishes. Plenty of conversation over the dinner table, rounding out another pleasant evening. Not quite as exciting as the Sip n' Spar, but not everything has to be full-gallop all day everyday. It was relaxing.
This new day seemed to be entirely reserved for participating with the community. After my morning exercises at the Training Center (Thank you again for the recommendation Lord Domonico Malvici), I quickly made my way to the Society of Explorer's Charter Hall. I set up as many decorations as I could, and set out the drinks and other refreshments I 'borrowed' from the Academy. And other places. I'll replace those bottles Natalia, don't you worry. Compared to the impressive decorative skills of many of our more prestigious interior designers, my little bits of coloured string and re-arrangement of pre-existing chairs, tables, and chalkboards was rather paltry. Even so, I think the coloured chalk was a nice touch, and people seemed to enjoy it. Explorers gathered in a slow trickle in, popping in and out throughout the day, rather than all at once. I suppose that was only to be expected, considering our line of work, but overall it felt like a success. People came together. Shared their time and experiences with each other, as was the intent, and all left having learned something about their fellow colleagues. Not to mention we learned about...well, I'm sure you'll all just have to read about it in The Stacks, now won't you? Say hello to Marquessa Sasha Sana, and take joy in her new-found wellness.
After our Meet n' Greet between Explorers, I tore off my tunic (Pulled it off carefully and folded it neatly) and sprinted full tilt towards the War of the Berries. For days I'd been looking forward to throwing pies at people, if not actually getting pied myself. On the way there, it was a little awkward but I changed out of my nice pants silk pants and into my lounging pants from home, much to the...I would say horror, but I'm sure the maidens in the street were more impressed and appreciative of what they witnessed while I was in transition between states of dress. Then I pied some other fair maidens in the face, once I arrived. By the time I made my presence known, there were many others who were already covered in berry juices, and ''somehow'' I remained entirely berry-free. Another excuse to run around without my shirt on through the streets, I suppose. Not that any of the maidens really minded. I even managed to win a prize! Never before have I ever had in my possession a ''perfume''. This one is called 'Winter's Grove'. It smells nice, but that's the point I suppose. Lady Lorna Deepwood, many thanks for your contributions. Not only is my wardrobe and my face making the transition from wild man to civilized citizen, but now I will smell like one as well.
Not that I'm going to remain this way for too long. Don't worry, Archeress. I may wear the clothes, the aromas, and the cleaner cuts...but this heart will never be tamed.
I exchanged words with miss Penrose, thanking her for her contribution. One could tell much love and care went into baking those pies, so I thought it only right I take a couple extra for my Patron, her man, and her attendees, Sis and Podraig. They're delicious, trust me. Or, more like, trust Lady Peri Seliki and Lady Kaia Bisland. They should know first hand how they taste, after all. Thank you once again to the gracious host and hostess of the event, Lady Delilah Whitehawk, and Duke Malcolm Shepherd. It was berry nice.
Now we just have to start planning for the one with all the (the rest of this section is blotted out entirely with black ink, as if to cover up what was written after the fact). It'll be wonderful, and I think I know just who else to invite.
Written By Zeriax
Feb. 17, 2019, 4:35 p.m.(8/4/1010 AR)
I find myself in deeper contemplations these days.
Knowing what I know now, I'm less inclined to believe the persistent rumours, the prevalence of the veil being cast over the eyes of the many. My investigations thus far have proven to be most informative, and I think the initial stages are coming to a close. As much as I'd like to continue learning about the topic, it has overall less value than the implications that preceded it. That is where I must focus my attention. In a general sense, at least. From here, the rabbit hole only goes deeper and deeper.
Seriously though, what are you feeding those spiders in the Shrine of the Queen of Endings?
Knowing what I know now, I'm less inclined to believe the persistent rumours, the prevalence of the veil being cast over the eyes of the many. My investigations thus far have proven to be most informative, and I think the initial stages are coming to a close. As much as I'd like to continue learning about the topic, it has overall less value than the implications that preceded it. That is where I must focus my attention. In a general sense, at least. From here, the rabbit hole only goes deeper and deeper.
Seriously though, what are you feeding those spiders in the Shrine of the Queen of Endings?
Written By Zeriax
Feb. 13, 2019, 12:41 p.m.(7/24/1010 AR)
The moon shines brightly upon my soul.
My investigations are making some headway now, which is excellent news. At first, it was simply a matter of chasing names. One person knows a person who has a thing related to this or that. Another person heard something about someone, and that someone is in a position that's useful. That person ends up not knowing, but has ideas about where to find more information. I had nothing to go off of, aside from my own innate curiosity. Sometimes though, it's less about what you know, and more about who you know. I've been getting to know quite a few people since my return, which helps immensely with increasing my ability to chase leads. Commoners, nobles, priests and royals. People of the wild, and people of refined civility. On several occasions, people who are of both sides of the coin, though that seems more to be the sort of trend one finds in the Society of Explorers.
I have yet to engage in or launch any expeditions myself, though I have signed up to assist in several. Mostly, it appears to be nobles wishing for us to survey their baronies for natural resources. Not exactly the sort of thing that makes me leap out of bed every morning shivering with excitement, but it's still something that'll get me back out there, in places I'm accustomed with. Outside of the pending expeditions, I've taken some time to peer through the records, and noticed there happened to be a fair amount in common with some of my personal research. It's not following quite the same vein, but I've managed to gain some insight into my own reasons for searching things out after perusing but a portion of previous Explorers' work.
For most of my life, I've simply been a wanderer. I lived without a deeper purpose, and simply let my thirst for knowledge and understanding lead me around. Eyes full of crystalline wonder, staring out at the bigger mysteries of the world. Questions. Always asking questions, much to the chagrin of many of my travelling companions. It was something I happened to notice wasn't common for most people; they simply didn't ask. Not even roundabout questions were typical. So when I was finally able to be out on my own, less reliant on the safety and security of numbers, I set out to discover the answers to the many questions that whirled about in my mind. What was it like to be at the top of a mountain? What was it like to dive deep into the waters? What lurked in the deep darkness of the caves dotting the untamed wilds? Many of the answers came with more than a few hardships, of course, as learning through experience tended to be something of a hazard for those willing to brave the elements. Thankfully, I came to the conclusion that reading happens to be a much quicker, and usually much safer way to learn. Even so, sometimes one just can't beat the experience. The sensation of triumph over that special little something that one can say they did.
Since returning to Arx, however, my questions have been continually directed more inwards. Not often did I ever feel the need to reflect upon my long term goals or intentions behind them, despite my vocation. It also wasn't often that I had access to resources the same way I do in the city, The Archives being a great example, so that might have been something of a factor. Recently there was another fine example; an opportunity to express my curiosity regarding the unusual in the form of a small event hosted at the Academy of War. Initially, upon hearing the title of the organization, I was expecting something far more militant than it happened to be. Something more along the lines of the Iron Guard or Gold Order. I was pleasantly surprised to find something a fair bit more thought provoking. The gathering was about discussing tactics regarding unusual or unheard of adversaries.
At first I was simply interested in the process of discussing such things, but something occurred to me during the gathering. Something...struck me, I suppose one could say. Everything that was being discussed I took seriously. Whisper Natalia provided a problems in the form of unusual creatures or situations, and I attempted to solve them, presenting solutions to the rest of the group as they came to me. Others in the gathering did the same, though not all of them. It bothered me, and at the time, I didn't understand why I was so irritated by the mockery some of them held of Natalia's presentations. When the event came to a close, I realized that I was more than intrigued by what I'd taken part in. With the Society of Explorers, the proposition of being supported in pursuits that I'd have taken on regardless was appealing as a means to an end. A way to expand my connections and resources doing what I loved. But with the Academy, there was no reason for me to join. There were no opportunities presented to me the same way there was with the Society. Yet, I felt myself compelled to join them.
Some discussions followed, and soon I was registered as an instructor and mentor within the ranks of the organization. It was odd, because for once, I wasn't doing simply to gain something for myself. I was attempting to offer something to others. My mind began to reel from the experience, and I couldn't quite process it at the time. I didn't even have much to offer, aside from my experience regarding basic personal survival and fitness, but I knew I wanted to do...something. To give something, without expectation of compensation. While it has always been my work to provoke thought, to cause people to expand their minds, here was an opportunity to do something a little...more.
I continued along with my days, training soldiers on behalf of both the Society and the Academy. Looking for ways to better dress myself, which both Whisper Natalia and Princess Ophelia happened to be immense help with. Most recently, Lady Gretchen Moore even shaved down the tangle on my face. It's a bit of a slow process, but I'm still taking steps forwards. At some point in the week, I made my way to the Shrine of the Lost. I leaned against the altar, and began to think. To reflect. I began to think about what Brass' offer might mean for House Thrax...maybe not from a philosophical perspective, but from a personal one. People I've come to know, or who I share a great deal with in common owe their fealty to Thrax, and I wondered what the repercussions of the abolishment of thralldom might mean for them. The responsibilities they would have to bear in response. Never was I one for politics, ever. A free spirit, able to come and go as he pleased. Then I thought of those kindred spirits in the Explorers whose fealty is owed to Thrax. Nobles. People who have responsibility, and can't simply come and go as they please. People who have to sit there, and deal with the consequences of a decision made for them by others.
While I sat there, I also began to imagine what it might be like to visit the stars. Aion's symbol being right behind me, and the Wolf's Guide happening to shine brightly overhead, it only seemed appropriate. The line of thought drifted to the Dreamer eventually, and from there I began to fall deeper and deeper into my own well of thoughts. They began to mingle together. My decision to join The Academy of War. The words I shared with my associates under House Thrax. The search for information I undertook upon my return to the city. At one point, a thought happened to click into place. Just the perfect fit. Thankfully, Lady Mikani Redreef brought me back out of that well with a timely visit. Still.
We'll see what comes from this shimmering idea.
My investigations are making some headway now, which is excellent news. At first, it was simply a matter of chasing names. One person knows a person who has a thing related to this or that. Another person heard something about someone, and that someone is in a position that's useful. That person ends up not knowing, but has ideas about where to find more information. I had nothing to go off of, aside from my own innate curiosity. Sometimes though, it's less about what you know, and more about who you know. I've been getting to know quite a few people since my return, which helps immensely with increasing my ability to chase leads. Commoners, nobles, priests and royals. People of the wild, and people of refined civility. On several occasions, people who are of both sides of the coin, though that seems more to be the sort of trend one finds in the Society of Explorers.
I have yet to engage in or launch any expeditions myself, though I have signed up to assist in several. Mostly, it appears to be nobles wishing for us to survey their baronies for natural resources. Not exactly the sort of thing that makes me leap out of bed every morning shivering with excitement, but it's still something that'll get me back out there, in places I'm accustomed with. Outside of the pending expeditions, I've taken some time to peer through the records, and noticed there happened to be a fair amount in common with some of my personal research. It's not following quite the same vein, but I've managed to gain some insight into my own reasons for searching things out after perusing but a portion of previous Explorers' work.
For most of my life, I've simply been a wanderer. I lived without a deeper purpose, and simply let my thirst for knowledge and understanding lead me around. Eyes full of crystalline wonder, staring out at the bigger mysteries of the world. Questions. Always asking questions, much to the chagrin of many of my travelling companions. It was something I happened to notice wasn't common for most people; they simply didn't ask. Not even roundabout questions were typical. So when I was finally able to be out on my own, less reliant on the safety and security of numbers, I set out to discover the answers to the many questions that whirled about in my mind. What was it like to be at the top of a mountain? What was it like to dive deep into the waters? What lurked in the deep darkness of the caves dotting the untamed wilds? Many of the answers came with more than a few hardships, of course, as learning through experience tended to be something of a hazard for those willing to brave the elements. Thankfully, I came to the conclusion that reading happens to be a much quicker, and usually much safer way to learn. Even so, sometimes one just can't beat the experience. The sensation of triumph over that special little something that one can say they did.
Since returning to Arx, however, my questions have been continually directed more inwards. Not often did I ever feel the need to reflect upon my long term goals or intentions behind them, despite my vocation. It also wasn't often that I had access to resources the same way I do in the city, The Archives being a great example, so that might have been something of a factor. Recently there was another fine example; an opportunity to express my curiosity regarding the unusual in the form of a small event hosted at the Academy of War. Initially, upon hearing the title of the organization, I was expecting something far more militant than it happened to be. Something more along the lines of the Iron Guard or Gold Order. I was pleasantly surprised to find something a fair bit more thought provoking. The gathering was about discussing tactics regarding unusual or unheard of adversaries.
At first I was simply interested in the process of discussing such things, but something occurred to me during the gathering. Something...struck me, I suppose one could say. Everything that was being discussed I took seriously. Whisper Natalia provided a problems in the form of unusual creatures or situations, and I attempted to solve them, presenting solutions to the rest of the group as they came to me. Others in the gathering did the same, though not all of them. It bothered me, and at the time, I didn't understand why I was so irritated by the mockery some of them held of Natalia's presentations. When the event came to a close, I realized that I was more than intrigued by what I'd taken part in. With the Society of Explorers, the proposition of being supported in pursuits that I'd have taken on regardless was appealing as a means to an end. A way to expand my connections and resources doing what I loved. But with the Academy, there was no reason for me to join. There were no opportunities presented to me the same way there was with the Society. Yet, I felt myself compelled to join them.
Some discussions followed, and soon I was registered as an instructor and mentor within the ranks of the organization. It was odd, because for once, I wasn't doing simply to gain something for myself. I was attempting to offer something to others. My mind began to reel from the experience, and I couldn't quite process it at the time. I didn't even have much to offer, aside from my experience regarding basic personal survival and fitness, but I knew I wanted to do...something. To give something, without expectation of compensation. While it has always been my work to provoke thought, to cause people to expand their minds, here was an opportunity to do something a little...more.
I continued along with my days, training soldiers on behalf of both the Society and the Academy. Looking for ways to better dress myself, which both Whisper Natalia and Princess Ophelia happened to be immense help with. Most recently, Lady Gretchen Moore even shaved down the tangle on my face. It's a bit of a slow process, but I'm still taking steps forwards. At some point in the week, I made my way to the Shrine of the Lost. I leaned against the altar, and began to think. To reflect. I began to think about what Brass' offer might mean for House Thrax...maybe not from a philosophical perspective, but from a personal one. People I've come to know, or who I share a great deal with in common owe their fealty to Thrax, and I wondered what the repercussions of the abolishment of thralldom might mean for them. The responsibilities they would have to bear in response. Never was I one for politics, ever. A free spirit, able to come and go as he pleased. Then I thought of those kindred spirits in the Explorers whose fealty is owed to Thrax. Nobles. People who have responsibility, and can't simply come and go as they please. People who have to sit there, and deal with the consequences of a decision made for them by others.
While I sat there, I also began to imagine what it might be like to visit the stars. Aion's symbol being right behind me, and the Wolf's Guide happening to shine brightly overhead, it only seemed appropriate. The line of thought drifted to the Dreamer eventually, and from there I began to fall deeper and deeper into my own well of thoughts. They began to mingle together. My decision to join The Academy of War. The words I shared with my associates under House Thrax. The search for information I undertook upon my return to the city. At one point, a thought happened to click into place. Just the perfect fit. Thankfully, Lady Mikani Redreef brought me back out of that well with a timely visit. Still.
We'll see what comes from this shimmering idea.
Written By Zeriax
Feb. 8, 2019, 4:46 p.m.(7/14/1010 AR)
My pursuits have been fruitful.
A messenger arrived from Lord Vitalis Mazetti while I was browsing through the Great Archive, in search of answers to a number of questions I've been turning over in my mind. Distractions are plentiful these days, but this was one I had been waiting for. I had posted a petition not long after my initial return to Arx, and my request to join the Society of Explorers was soon picked up by the fellow I had originally met in passing in the Hall of Heroes. Small world.
With haste I made my way to the Chapter Hall to find my examiner appreciating the finer decor. After a small exchange of words and wit, he led me out of the building and into the streets. The twist? He had instructed me to close my eyes. At first I was hoping that the first test would be one involving a game of hide-and-seek. No matter how much I age, those children's games will always have a special place in my heart. It wasn't long before he began to spin me in circles, attempting to disorient me, which gave way to his first test; tell him which way was north. The intent was to see how well I would be able to work under extenuating circumstances, such as blindness or lack of lumination. The average person might find the prospect of his request difficult, having been walked blind through the city and then been spun like a top, but I'm far from average.
The test was completed with ease, and I admit, I enjoyed a little showboating before opening my eyes. Perhaps that was something of an unwise proposition, as my ears rang for several days after bearing first-hand witness to Lord Mazetti's proficiency with a whip. What happened next as we squared off was perhaps an expression of the divine providence that follows me wherever I go; A messenger from Lady Peri Seliki interposed himself between Lord Mazetti and I. Later I learned that one portion of the heiress' letter bade me 'Good Luck' in my exam. Coincidence?
I know not what Lord Mazetti had planned, but the messenger was a much welcomed distraction. As I didn't have my bow on my person, it became necessary to improvise, my examiner planning to test my mettle. In his haste to get away from us, Lady Seliki's messenger happened to displace some soil underfoot. A perfect opportunity! My opponent began to circle around me, and I sprang forth like a wild animal, bounding around with techniques taught to me by the pack hunters in the mountain glades to the north. An embellished ruse meant to hide my true intent. As I tumbled and twisted, in my hands I gathered loose soil and stone, which promptly made its way into my examiner's eyes.
For those who fancy 'fair fights' and 'honour in combat', remember this: The victor writes of triumph, the vanquished write no more, and the pretty pictures painted after may not portray the conflict as it truly was. In any case, I would like to state once more, publicly; Vitalis was asking for it. Since I'm not a savage, I ran to the nearest merchant and borrowed his waterskin so I could help the Lord clean the dirt from his eyes. Shortly thereafter, I was inducted into the Society. I should also make special note here; Princess Lou Grayson, it wasn't my idea to start a tab in the tavern under your name to celebrate. Don't hate the player, hate the game. I'll make it up to you later.
Outside of my goals with the Society, I've made a little headway with the curator of the Gilded Page. There's too many ideas in my head to hold onto, so I've recently taken to spilling them across the parchment. Why not make a little silver for my efforts? I'm sure the bored gentry could use a few brain teasers to occupy their time. Notoriety isn't expected, as this is just something of a pleasant hobby, but we'll see what comes of it. The Minx of the Marches, for her part, seemed genuinely delighted to speak about authorship and works of fiction. A person with a clear passion.
As for my continuing search, I've turned up nothing besides more questions. I've sent messages out to those I've met, and those who I've caught wind of that might know a thing or two. Not every lead has gone somewhere. Poring over existing records has yet to provide any useful results either, but I've picked up another name. While I wait for my sources to get back to me, I can pursue another new lead. I have yet to meet with the owner of that asshole bird that kicked over my wine, but I'm certain we'll cross paths soon enough. Till then, I think it's about time I began a new search: proper city attire.
I've been spared no shortage of odd looks, all of which I'm well aware of. As much as I feel more comfortable dressed this way, it would do me well to maybe not look so much like one of the Prodigals. I have no sense of fashion, so I'll need help. I have to find someone who knows what they're doing, or at the very least, has an appreciation for their apparel. One person comes to mind when I imagine 'clothes shopping', oddly enough. We met entirely by chance on two separate occasions, and while I'm sure she might argue this feverently, I thought both instances were rather pleasant. Her insistence that I'm a nuisance may be warranted considering I was tossing berries at her, so I might have to find a way to appeal to her better nature first, before asking. For the time being, animal pelts it is.
All this, and only two weeks in. So far so good. Hopefully the momentum keeps up.
Written By Zeriax
Feb. 6, 2019, 12:24 a.m.(7/9/1010 AR)
Lady Fortune seems smitten with me, for immediately upon my return to Arx I was beset by revelry and free drinks. Next time I'll remember to stay on her good side, and 'Not' mix honeyed ale, spiced rum, and aged whisky in one night. The repercussions lingered for some time afterwards, despite my constitution.
Traders Tavern was my first stop on the way back, and it was there I was introduced to a number of interesting personalities, not all of whom I managed to speak with directly. Everyone seemed intent to pay for my company with alcohol, so it was only par for the course that after the third round, my attention would only be paid to those who were the loudest or, in the case of Princess Reese, the pinkest.
If only the rest of the population was as favoured by Lady Fortune as I. While in the process of making new friends, I learned of Copper's fall and the forum that came after. While I might be a man made for the life of a hermit, the gravity of the situation was not lost on me. Each choice presents a variety of lasting consequences. What struck me most was that none of the choices presented were 'good'. In fact, based off of what little information I had at the time, they were all 'bad', objectively speaking. What will come to pass is simply a matter of picking the best apple out of a bad batch and hoping that the resultant dysentery doesn't kill us.
While I'm certainly interested in discovering more about the intentions of the foreign parties, or how Ashe plans to empower us, the decision is ultimately up to our leadership. A task I do not envy. As I don't advise the King or his council, I thought it best to direct my attention to matters on a scale far removed from realm-shaking decisions...for now. Example; seeking entry into The Society of Explorers. Or, taking advantage of certain offers that had been extended to me by my new friends from the Tavern. There's still many mysteries for me yet to uncover, and my journey is far from over despite being back home. Let's see if the next few days prove to be as exciting as the last ones, shall we?
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