Written By Samantha
Dec. 17, 2021, 3:42 p.m.(10/6/1016 AR)
I have been unable to leave my room for days since it happened. Everything I have worked so hard since he passed, undone in an instant out of yearning to feel his touch.
Written By Samantha
Dec. 12, 2021, 6:44 p.m.(9/25/1016 AR)
I have set aside the hauntings of the past, and they are now where they are. It is time to renew my focus on what has always been my cause - the betterment of all people, great and small, noble and common, rich and poor.
It is good to be back.
Written By Samantha
June 14, 2020, 8:04 p.m.(6/22/1013 AR)
Relationship Note on Rymarr
There is no reference in life to compare to losing the one who was responsible beside you for the welfare of so many. The one who was your partner in all things and the father of your children. Layne and Nara reflect their father in many ways and in many others they do not. I did say at his memorial that there would never be another quite like him. His sense of duty and honor was unmatched by many and his perception of the world around him was definitely the anchor to many things. He never once faltered and for that I am grateful. It strengthened Deepwood and kept us surefooted.
Now that most of the work has been done the manor is quiet. Granted Rymarr was never a loud soul but the sound of him in armor, the mere feeling of his presence in his study or just the knowledge that he was on the grounds has faded and with it I finally understand the depth of what loss is. Its not just the person or their personality, its their presence in all the small ways. From the breathing beside you to the knowledge there will be support no matter what comes. The path is no longer quite so smooth or quite so easy to navigate but I know its there and its there because of him. Deepwood will not falter, but the way will be harder without him and I suppose that is where I will honor him. Each step taken is one where he is there beside us in spirit, knowing he helped forge that path and direct it. Rymarr continues to live on through all of us that found him a friend or confidante.
The way is not lost. He is not lost even if the constant reminder is. It is hard to put out the flame of another's deeds and soul when it has so brightly burned before. The light remains in every part of this manor, in every part of Old Oak and within our children. They shall inherit what we built together and you will live on here, through us and your values shall not be forgotten.
We miss you in ways that can not be replaced or remembered. For those things I grieve and I am sure will continue to grieve for some time but I do know that you have made it somewhere where you are needed. Where others will call on you because if one thing has been made clear during your life was that you were a man of duty, honor and valor.
Be at peace, my lion. The battle was won.
Your Daisy
Written By Samantha
Aug. 12, 2019, 12:49 p.m.(8/20/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Rymarr
I'm grateful for this. Because being willing to take on the opposite approach from each other means we both have grown as people. Because the choice of negotiation rather than warfare won the day, regardless of the source.
Have I mentioned how proud I am of Rymarr Deepwood? How different my life would be without him.
Written By Samantha
July 29, 2019, 5:53 p.m.(7/20/1011 AR)
Tradition is something that should be respected, but one must always look at it with an understanding that any tradition that keeps one from moving forward will result in stagnation, not growth. As times change, as the understanding of who we are as people grows and we further enlighten ourselves in understanding of this world, we must consider new choices, make changes, and be willing to embrace adaptation as a means to survive and thrive.
If the choices I make result in a thriving, healthy populace that is economically strong while being mindful of the resources of the land, allowing all who seek opportunity to have the chance to prosper, then in my heart I believe I am doing as Duke Gabriel and Duchess Iona have taught me.
I know that an open hand has yielded far better results than a mailed fist where the safety and security of the Crownlands and Arx are concerned. When violence has been called for, it is decisive, swift, and necessary.
I am so greatful to have Rymarr Deepwood as my husband. I am grateful to my Bisland family, to my friends, my vassals, and to Whisper House for coming to our aid as we sought to resolve what would have been a brutal military action if it had come to it.
And now...the next challenge.
Written By Samantha
May 8, 2019, 10:41 a.m.(1/23/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Rymarr
Written By Samantha
April 21, 2019, 4:26 p.m.(12/18/1010 AR)
Relationship Note on Rymarr
Written By Samantha
March 31, 2019, 9:55 p.m.(11/4/1010 AR)
Just saying.
Written By Samantha
March 28, 2019, 5:52 p.m.(10/26/1010 AR)
I have heard it's being said that I'm not seen out as often as I'm used to, and when I do make an appearance, it's seldom for long. I'm usually well accustomed to juggling when multiple people are seeking my attention, but after time, it becomes tiring more quickly than it used to. Speaking in the Assembly is different. The energy flows in different ways, and I do my best to speak in echo of my...well, my conscience. And I want to continue to be worthy of the accolade bestowed on my by the people of Arx.
Written By Samantha
Feb. 28, 2019, 10:33 a.m.(8/26/1010 AR)
It's like the best of times was years ago, but also yesterday.
Am I old enough now that I can feel nostalgic?
Written By Samantha
Feb. 20, 2019, 11:17 a.m.(8/10/1010 AR)
Relationship Note on Shard
So while I cannot speak for anyone else, but Shard is who she defines herself to be, and I shall interact with her accordingly.
Written By Samantha
Feb. 4, 2019, 11:11 a.m.(7/6/1010 AR)
I wrote an essay on thralldom back in 1005, which some like-minded people saw fit to publish. I've included a portion of it below:
1007: It is a truth nigh-universal that the state of thralldom is only a scant step above the institution of slavery. The premise of this system is that of indentured servitude, with few if ever any earning their wage with the intent to release them from their eventual debt. More frequently thralls die in servitude, and it is not unknown for their debt to be further passed down to their offspring, who must in turn engage themselves into the system in order to pay it off, while acruing more debt.
1005: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It is also a truth night-universal that the institution of thralldom is regarded in disdain by almost all the regions of our great kingdom, save amongst the Thrax, from which it originates. In the past, thralls who have escaped have been welcomed into the service of other lords and masters in order to prevent their return to such a demeaning and inhumane circumstance. However, this was done as a quiet measure, with no one truly daring to openly challenge the convention. Until now, all objection has been subversive. But if the nobility of our great land is to truly act in the name of the people they have by the grace of the Gods been granted to lead, this social construct must be confronted, and a solution must be sought.
Dear friends, it may seem on the surface that an immediate abolishment of thralldom is the natural conclusion to such thoughts, however that is the furthest from the case. It is important to remember that the House of Thrax and its banner Houses are strong, providing members of our great land, and to simply insist that they revert an entrenched element of their culture and economy would be to do them a disservice. We must not throw the lives of so many into chaos, not only those who gain directly from thralldom, but also those who live simpler lives that are dependent on a secure economy and would suffer as a result of too swift a change, and for thralls themselves, who would eventually need to realize a new way of thinking about their personal value and worth. Change and growth are painful processes, but with guidance and support, great change for the betterment of all men and women may happen.
I do not believe that all Thrax or all of their bannermen believe in maintenance of this institution, but are perhaps cautious of speaking out against it. They are a proud, strong people. If any were able to face such a significant alteration of their lives and culture, it would be them.
But what solutions may we offer, to ease the pains that would surely come from such a deconstruction? How can we buffer our fellows who, if they choose to commit to this course, will surely suffer from the loss of an established institution? Can solutions be found at the Crown level? Through the support of the other Great Houses? Perhaps, if House Thrax is so willing, a kind of council can be formed to discuss the topic of gradual abolishment in a way that minimizes the impact.
All men and women deserve the right to shape their destiny in as much as they are able, in the loyal and willing service to those responsible for their mutual care. To trap any in less is to reduce them to a state of chattel. If your great kingdom is to be a beacon of true greatness and utopia, we can no longer quietly avoid the inequality present within the realm. It must be faced head on, but respectfully and with consideration for those who will need to prepare for the brunt of this change. Anyone familiar with the natural world knows this to be true: the strongest creatures of the forest and sea survive by adapting to their circumstances. It is not easy, but for doing so, they become stronger, swifter, and more powerful than before. If we can succeed in this my friends, it makes not just the House of Thrax more powerful, but it will bring greater power to us all, throughout the realm.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1007: Today, things are very different. Progress has been slow - and I believe that this is a good and right pace for the progress necessary. As justice begins to be tempered by compassion, as reform evolves the way crime and punishment are dealt with. And reform has come from some of the most unexpected parties involved. One of the reasons that despite our philosophical differences, Deepwood has such strong trade ties with Thrax and most of its vassals - because by aiding in providing a stable economy, I can reduce the financial burden that would come from the abolition of thralldom as it progresses
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1010: Here we are again. I don't find my stance on the matter changed; that slow progress is best for the health of both the Compact and the people who need to learn to be free. And with the matter now leaning into a fundamental question about how we're going to live our lives, and how the lives of our children and our children's children will be lived after us, I feel compelled to note that at the end of it all, the hardest path will likely be the one that allows us to keep our souls intact.
Written By Samantha
Jan. 22, 2019, 10:23 a.m.(6/8/1010 AR)
I am also fully aware that at the end of it all I have no say in the matter, but if my opinion is worth anything, then my only response is that if you know anything about me at all, you know what my choice would be.
Written By Samantha
Jan. 8, 2019, 5:53 p.m.(4/27/1010 AR)
They are a tool for many - the statesman, the diplomat, the warrior to name a few, and like any tool one must have the knowledge of when it is appropriate to utilize them.
First, one must understand what a threat is: a promise to deliver harm, either directly to the person or the faction which they represent, be it family, business, or what have you, combined with an ultimatum in keeping with the issuer's desires.
For some people, a threat is a hammer, to be wielded with brute force, and for some, it is effective in its application this way. For others it is more rarely applied, with its power being in the understanding that it is not a commonplace tool utlized by the one who delivers it.
There are two issues to consider when making a threat. For some people it's instinctive and natural. For others, they must put some thought in what they say before they speak. But these two issues effectively boil down to who you are threatening, and what the outcome of your threat will be.
Are you threatening a friend? An ally? Have they ever given you cause to believe their efforts are not compatible to your agenda? Have they ever lied to you? Does it make more sense for them to remain in alliance with you, or does it make sense that they might consider double crossing you?
If you care about the outcome (and granted, some may not, simply by virtue of their belief in their own ability), and whether the party you threaten remains your ally, pause before consider issuing an unnecessary threat. It can potentially become a self-fulfilling prophecy, save in a circumstance where they are willing look past it, and that is always based on the flip of a coin.
Written By Samantha
Jan. 7, 2019, 10:28 a.m.(4/24/1010 AR)
Relationship Note on Rymarr
Rymarr and I have been married now for five years or more, and I must confess, when I see him at ease with himself and happy, doing what he loves, my reaction is akin to a teenage girl who has become besotted for the first time. Is it silly? Perhaps. But I don't care. I am blessed with a husband whom I love and whose skill and training provides the March with invaluable service.
I only wish I had brought Nara along with us, so she might have witnessed her father's victory.
Written By Samantha
Dec. 26, 2018, 1:57 a.m.(3/28/1010 AR)
Among gardens, mountains and meadow so found,
She bends with the wind, subtle curves round,
Her simple hardy grace, has my soul so bound.
Glory and grace, end of winter, comes spring,
The daisy, yellow center such joy does bring,
To her gracious royalty the forest does sing.
When she breathes that laughter, so clear,
She fills the room with her perfect cheer,
It's a sound that draws all good men near,
Though this daisy is no bloom of girlhood,
In her pale, wild light tis where I stood,
In the darker forest, the deepest of wood.
Written By Samantha
Nov. 14, 2018, 3:29 p.m.(12/27/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Rymarr
Written By Samantha
Oct. 26, 2018, 12:04 p.m.(11/17/1009 AR)
Apparently Micah has read a book where one of the characters eats spiders. Our cook came to me with a both hilarious and also disturbing story about him and Nara debating the proper way to prepare spiders over their mid-morning meal. The boy is frighteningly clever, and it's going to be up to us to make sure his sharp mind is developed along with common sense and empathy.
We also had my father and brother over. Michael is always going to be a scamp, even when he's old and gray, but I think that means he will remain someone who allows himself to feel joy, and that's a good thing. He is perfectly capable, and it's not a bad thing to be underestimated.
And once again, I am reminded how similar my father and my husband are.
Written By Samantha
Oct. 19, 2018, 10:12 a.m.(10/21/1009 AR)
I'm beginning to think Nara has a particular talent for leg-clinging. She even does it when Rymarr is in his armor. In all seriousness, I've seen him take on the forces of the Heralds and guard His Majesty from assassination attempts, but he is devastatingly defeated when a nigh three year old attaches herself to his leg. No force on the continent could pry her off short of bribery.
Written By Samantha
Sept. 11, 2018, 6:23 p.m.(7/28/1009 AR)
What have you done today?
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.