Arx, After the Reckoning

Rarely is the voice that screeches loudest doing so while offering a solution.

While I'm sure there will be someone to rush in with their finger raised and a "Well, actually" on their punchable face? I think one of the things to shake the spirit of a person the most is being with someone else when they have their last moment.

I have been thinking about OMEGA a lot lately. Those last moments in each others presence still resonates with me today. It probably will until my own last moment. In one instant we were adversaries and in the next something quite the opposite. That very brief sense of camaraderie taught me a great deal about compassion, I'd like to think.

You will be remembered until my own last moments.

A suitable summary of my words. Another suitable summary of my previous writings would be that you're prepared to offer assurances to the other individual or group.

That no matter what, you're prepared to never give them up.

I miss you, friend. I still wear my bracelet, but not for much longer I think. I don't need it to know who my friends are. It's a trinket. It's a toy. Our friendship can exist without it.

I hope you're achieving all you wish to achieve in this turn.

If not? Then work harder. Those are instructions that I should follow myself.

Love has rules and all involved must know them. Everyone involved must be fully committed to the love. Feelings should be freely expressed, supported by understanding.

Both parties should strive to always persist. Every opportunity should be taken to be reliable. Loyalty abounds when both parties never abandon the other. Love shouldn't result in tears. When tears inevitably happen, it should never end in a final farewell. It should always be built on a foundation of truth and care.

Infatuation is fleeting, but love takes time to build. Love shouldn't be timid, but bold. Don't hold back when there's an ache in your chest. All involved should know what the other is feeling and know what they're getting into. Feelings shouldn't need to be sought out, they should be plainly visible and freely provided.

It may have been a week or two. It may have been a month or so ago. Either way, someone advised me that a lord had inquired about my health as a result of the mushroom incident. Hoping that I was doing well and hadn't died since that time.

Here. In the seemingly endless sea of white journals.

I have dispatched a letter with Sir Celeritous Karl Shellsworth III. It should arrive anytime between the next three days and three years (I believe the letter sent to Leona holds the record for the length of time between dispatch and delivery). It assures the lord of my fine health and appreciation for the unexpected concern.

Hopefully he gets it soon. Otherwise this stranger may think I'm dead. Not yet, my lord. Not yet.

I should probably write another letter and send it with Patsy. At least then there will be little cause for concern. I'll have to remember to do that before the day concludes.

He doesn't have an establishment of his own yet, but he assures me that he has access to the forge. Which is made obvious by the fact that he's made a delivery of armor to myself. Hopefully this completed order will aid in speeding along his becoming established here in Arx.

The quality of this steel suit is truly impressive. Which is saying something given that I'm sometimes fairly critical of the armor that I'll wear. He also informed me that he's capable of working with some leather materials, but metals are his area of expertise. He advised me that he can even work with diamondplate and alaricite, which is very impressive. He showed himself as quite professional, quick to provide the price he would ask for his work, and when the work was completed it exceeded my expectations.

Worth every coin. I highly recommend this armorer known as Dag.

I give thanks to those who I serve alongside in the Iron Guard. When I fell, they rallied. They kept me safe while I could not do for myself. I am alive because of their bravery.

I give thanks to the Mercies of Lagoma today. The blow struck was nothing short of brutal, but with their selfless care I will recover.

There's a desk in my study that wasn't there before I left. There's also a very large goat sculpture in my bedchamber. That also wasn't there before I left. No one seems to know where they came from. Some practical joker, no doubt. But which one?

More than ever, one should exercise constant vigilance. I will get to the bottom of this.

First and foremost, the Knights of Solace have the gratitude of myself and House Deepwood. For their service to the gods and the people whom they guide and serve, we intend to make a donation to both the Knights of Solace and the Faith of the Pantheon. The work they do is of vital importance, shepherding the devout along the paths of pilgrimage. The Compact and the people of it are truly blessed to have these dedicated protectors.

Eight months ago I left Arx to seek the gods, to walk among those others who wished to offer prayer and oblation to them, and to show my eldest child the path one must walk to honor the gods. It is among the Knights of Solace and other travelers that we traveled, along with our own small retinue. We set our sights west and began the long journey from Arx to Sanctum. It was made longer still by our desire to deviate from the direct path to visit places that were out of the way; which thankfully we were able to shift ourselves from one group of Knights of Solace to another some of those times. In others, it was simply our small retinue venturing away from the greater whole and setting off.

On the road one can encounter any number of people. Sometimes you encounter an old friend traveling in the opposite direction. Sometimes that individual is someone whom you’ve often turned to in the past for faithful pursues and guidance. When one leaves Arx to go on a pilgrimage traveling west, only to encounter the Legate of Concepts traveling east on her return to Arx during her own massive pilgrimage? It’s a sign. When that person is someone whom you once joined with in morning prayer, every morning? It’s a sign. When your path crosses with that person and you’re given the opportunity to once again give praise to the Pantheon alongside them? It’s a sign. That is exactly what happened with myself and our encountering Legate Ailith in her pilgrimage. It was a welcome surprise and one that I think ultimately blessed our journey westward. Our journey to Sanctum had only just begun and already it had been bolstered by an encounter with one so tried and true as the Legate Ailith.

With our intention being to honor the gods, it was also to show the heir created of my wife and I what the Compact looked like beyond Old Oak, Arx, and everything in between. Early on in the marriage of myself and Samantha, we had agreed that any children that we had would be well acquainted with their father’s origins. It would not be a Crownlands upbringing alone that they would experience and enjoy, but one also flavored by the Oathlands. Since before my daughter arrived, there has been the understanding that she would see Lyon’s Redoubt as early as possible. To know where I, her father, was born and raised. We can now say that resolution has been concluded. Thanks to my sister, Marquessa Demura Lyonesse, that aspiration has been realized. My sister saw fit to not only accept my request to visit our old home and stay awhile, but to also keep me busy with a few responsibilities and duties for the duration of my time spent visiting. She knows me so well and it very nearly brings a tear to my eye, because she knew that I couldn’t sit idle for too long. I needed some sort of duty, some sort of responsibility, some manner of task to put myself toward that was more than a leisurely visit to my old home. For that, my sister and House Lyonesse has my gratitude.

We also saw Sir Jak Whitemane. I can’t write what he had to say to me in a white journal in good conscience. It was quite rude and vulgar. I’m pretty sure he’s taken a strong dislike of me since I’ve been away. Or he’s just old and hoping someone will kill him out of annoyance. Then probably turn his old skin into the latest armor for the Compact. Stronger than steelsilk. Jakhide? Someone should pitch the idea to him. Regardless of his disposition, Sir Jak Whitemane, as my knight, will always have a special place in my heart. No matter how old and crotchety he’s become or will be. How old is he now? 72? 80? 106? He must be part-something or another. I can safely report though that he took wonderfully to Nara. He treated her with all the courtesy and respect her station demands and he behaved as the knight that I always know he can and will be. He’s just a bit more free with his thoughts and words toward those he’s had the ability to call his squire at some point in life.

For every aspect that the Pantheon represents, I am grateful. I am grateful for this life that I’ve been given. With every hardship that it carries with it, for every dangerous encounter experienced, for every thing that seeks to shake my faith in humanity; it endures. We endure. In ourselves we find our resolve, but it is the Pantheon that hones it and shows it a proper direction. We give prayer and thanks.

It was to Duskshire that we traveled soon after, paying a visit before the final leg of the trip to Sanctum. There I encountered a peculiar sort of mule. A Duskshire mule, I’m told. Quite temperamental, feisty even, and it was possessed of a seemingly insatiable need to eat my clothing. At one point it even gave me a bit of a nibble, so I gave it a bit of a knuckle to the head. So it tried to bite me again, so I punched it in the head again. That went back and forth for a time until finally the mule got a sleeve and wandered off to enjoy the spoils of war. Maybe it was a test put toward me by Petrichor. Maybe it is a test that I failed miserably. Nature always triumphs, I suppose. Next time I venture to Duskshire, I believe I will do so in full kit. That way it can bite my steel clad butt. If I had been thinking clearly at the time, I’d have asked to purchase my newfound nemesis. Then donated him to the Iron Guard in Arx, given him his own guard crest, and put him on a patrol. Crime may well have plummeted with his presence. Or that beast of burden would have been running the whole of criminal operations within the first six months. Who knows. We must take care that the solutions we seek to create, do not become tomorrow’s monsters.

It was time for the main event after Duskshire. The moment that my daughter and I were awaiting. The moment that anticipation had building and building toward. I would like to say that first glimpse of Sanctum stole my daughter’s breath away. That would be a lie. The truth of the matter is that while it did steal my daughter’s breath away, it stole my own away, too. Sanctum always has and always will be that for me. If only I could visit more often. If only life had gone just a little differently, perhaps I’d have the opportunity to visit more often. To visit the chapels and be immersed in worship of the Pantheon. It is my only hope that she will remember that moment, wandering the streets and avenues of Sanctum and being immersed in what the Oathlands has to offer. She will have opportunities in the future of course; His Grace, Prince Edain Valardin agreed long ago to take her on as his squire when she is prepared for it. She will not lack in opportunities to embrace a part of her heritage.

We spent a good deal of time in Sanctum, keeping a low profile and simply staying focused on the important matters. Our faith, our love, our adoration, our commitment to the Pantheon. I am proud to say that Lady Nara took to it all with aplomb. She may have the down to earth outlook of her mother at times, but I can say with pride that she’s just as ready to embrace the pageantry of our lives when the time arises. What was truly beautiful of our visit to the Oathlands is that while I sought for it to teach my daughter things? I think it taught my daughter things about me. Those many variable habits, personality quirks, minor or seemingly inconsequential beliefs, and everything else that makes up a person. I think it revealed some, even child’s understanding, of what has ushered her father down the paths that I have taken in my own life.

After Sanctum, we began our journey east. I feel that all should venture west to refresh themselves from the well of the Faith, from time to time. It will sharpen resolve, bolster the spirit, guide the path, and more. It is like seeing sunlight for the first time in a long time. Every color seems just a little more vivid, every breath seems a little more crisp than the last. Every aspect of life simply seems more vibrant and alive. I have been witness to many things in this lifetime. Things that I can’t yet write about. I have seen marvels that make you question every aspect of the world that you know. I have seen things that truly boggle the mind and can make one question whether the choice to abstain from alcohol is worth it. For me personally, it all pales in comparison to Sanctum. Even the magnificence of Arx, the historical importance of it which I respect and appreciate, still pales in comparison to Sanctum.

There are still troubles that lurk over me, but I will accept them and do what I am able to resolve them. Whether it is through a life given in pursuit of a valorous end or some alternative, we will find a way and the Pantheon will show the way. My return to Arx is one that I have not realized I longed for. I have been happy to once again see the high walls, hear the clamor of the peoples in the streets, to return to walking my patrols with the Iron Guard, to look south and wonder what could have been, to stare south and think that my life would still be given with or without an oath. I have missed my goats and wish to publicly state in writing here and now that I appreciate the staff of Deepwood Manor for seeing to the care of them in my absence. Some day there will be a competition for the best lawn in Arx and they will help usher that lawn to victory.

My return did bring with it some news that brought a measure of sadness to me. A fair few of my friends and acquaintances have departed. My best friend is gone and she took with her a fair few other knights that I was particularly fond. My best friend leaving hurts the most, but just as she asked me about our bracelets long ago; I don’t need it to know our friendship endures. I don’t need her constant attention or even proximity to know that I am still her friend and she is mine. Then Dame Esoka has left too! I’m not sure whom to turn when I need someone to stand unwavering at my side or back; she and I fought together during the Siege of Arx a few years back. I’ve told her time and again since then that there are few that I would be so pleased to fight alongside. Sir Calaudrin - you know how serious this is, since I spelled his name right - likewise departed and the Iron Guard surely feels duty taking him elsewhere. It’s all quite unfortunate that I didn’t have an opportunity to tell them goodbye, but I’m sure that I’ll have an opportunity some day. Whether that’s in this life or another, I’m sure I’ll have that opportunity to give each of them a firm handshake and let them see a smile.

The past eight months have been good for me. When one begins to feel like life is taking its toll and every day seems a little worse than the last. When even the Way of the Pie can’t seem to bolster your spirits? We must take the reins of our life, give them a jerk, and direct the horse down another path. Sanctum has been that path to me, the road to it, and those I encountered along the way. Even something as simple as encountering a family of commoners, out trading and dealing, making use of a group of Knights of Solace and a noble’s entourage for their own needs. Only to discover one evening around a campfire that those same commons hold relations to another that you know and have known for years. A people so friendly that they’re prepared to regale you with story after story of a person you know simply because you mentioned where you journey from and some of your duties there. You mention the Iron Guard to the Fatchforths out seeing the world? You’d better be prepared for the barrage of questions and then the blanket of tales which will soon follow. Some of them quite hilarious, some of them surely embarrassing. For the dangers of the space between the Compact’s holdings though, it is those sort of people that help to calm the nerves. They are a vital people to life.

I return to Arx renewed and ready.

There comes a time when conducting ones duties that someone may find themselves in a state where they seem to be going through their actions through rote, rather than any conscious thought. Immersed in the forward momentum, they can easily overlook general observations in favor of the pertinent details. That is where I have found myself for the past few weeks. Focused and honed with my vision and mind metaphorically tunneled.

It was like a hot knife through butter that news of Prince Caius Valardin's death cut through that state. I can't claim to have known him like a best friend, but I did have the distinct honor and privilege of knowing him as a fellow warrior. We rode together once, during the defense at the Lodge of Petrichor. Without going into the details of that encounter for one reason or another, Prince Caius revealed the full extent of his bravery to me during those engagements. When I went to him to enlist his aid, it was with a very clear and distinct warning provided: "you may die if you go with me". He did not hesitate. I have written previously about that interaction with equal measures of pride and the heat of a successful military engagement on our shoulders.

It is with sorrow that I must write it this time. This time it is not with the knowledge that he - and others - returned from their patrol alive, well, and whole. It is quite the opposite this time. Given what he fought through, endured, and what was ultimately something that would have killed many others in one angered gesture? I can only imagine what it took to fell him in battle. In honor of him, I may consider shaving my beard, much to my wife's chagrin. Perhaps I will grow a lip ferret in remembrance of Prince Caius Valardin. Though I can only imagine mine will not carry with it the myth and legend associated with the fallen Dragon of the Oathlands. The defenders of Arvum and the Compact have suffered a loss with his death. We will fight on though. In these times one must lead, follow, or get out of the way to use Prince Caius' words.

The time approaches. Bend and bend and bend. Eventually being flexible must stop and a hard response must be given. Remain a reed in a moving stream until you must become a mountain.

Even if it kills you.

Reliable and committed. He has served House Deepwood for some time now and I am confident that when things get tough, he will plant his feet in defense of House Deepwood. I will be watching his growth with great interest.

I think my hand on the matter of House Grayreeve would have been considerably different a couple years ago. Thankfully someone imparted to me the wisdom of when to plant your feet and when to bend.

Not every end needs to be reached through glory and honor. Sometimes it can be handled with a simple letter.

Previously Marquessa Samantha Deepwood, my wife, submitted a white journal to the archives. I feel that given the circumstances, I should do similar.

I salute the new Count of House Grayreeve for his personal bravery and those who committed themselves to supporting him. The many actions which were taken to achieve this newfound peace and potential for a prosperous future, from both within House Grayreeve and beyond, were of vital importance to achieving this end goal. House Grayreeve has suffered setbacks and as a result we will strive to aid our vassal in stabilizing itself again. We shall give peace an opportunity to flourish and generate something greater than what came before. Count Thomas Grayreeve placed his trust in us, so we will take a step forward in faith to extend the same in him and House Grayreeve.

I would like to thank the Whisper House, first and foremost. One of the chief complaints leveled at House Deepwood was that it does not adhere to tradition. While it may be that House Deepwood has taken a path that one could not accuse of being traditional? It still recognizes the time honored institutions of our beloved Compact. Fortunato, the former Radiant Selene, and the current Radiant Bliss were all of extraordinary aid in this time of need and as a result the Whisper House has my thanks and respect. The Whisper House will always be among those I will turn to first for aid in easing tensions and deploying social graces, should circumstances allow.

Among others who provided their aid whether in martial strength, social power, and more? Lord Michael Bisland was of special merit among those who provided their aid. Naturally we acknowledge Duke and Duchess-Consort Bisland as well for their unflagging support of House Deepwood and the Woods are endlessly thankful to have such generous and dutiful lieges. Those of House Seliki; Count Orrin, Lady Peri, and Lord Kaldur all presented their best in their efforts. They were tireless in their efforts to see the turmoil resolved and, again, House Deepwood is thankful. House Riven likewise committed themselves fully to the task and we wish to thank Count-Consort Thesarin, acting within his role of House Riven's leader of war, for his counsel and advice on the path ahead.

House Whitehawk threw themselves behind House Deepwood very early on and that will be difficult to forget, Whitehawks have been friends of the Deepwoods. That fact was made clear yet again with their rapid support. House Deepwood would also like to personally thank Princess Reese of House Grayson for her willingness to step forward and offer her assistance in a matter that she could have rightfully ignored. Through her efforts toward the common goal, the issues that arose between House Grayreeve and House Deepwood were further escorted to resolution.

Finally, Josephine Arcuri. The former protege of Lord Grady Deepwood. Despite their official patronage drawing to a close, Mistress Arcuri has proven time and time again to be a continual friend to House Deepwood. She has our gratitude and will hold a place of significance in our hearts and will make certain that the people of Old Oak know of the many contributions provided to our people and our way of life by the integrity of the Guildmaster of the Crafters Guild.

Should someone unearth this journal and determine that I've forgotten an individual or group who has provided us their aid or otherwise contributed toward the resolution of this situation? Please write to me and remind me. I will offer that thanks personally. Otherwise, these are those who worked with me personally at some stage in the peace process. Each of them, whether as individuals or as Houses of our Compact, have the appreciation and respect of me and mine.

When he gives a gift, he gives some detailed gifts. The smallest of them is adorably cute. There was considerable effort put into this joke. I mean gift, of course.

It has earned a place on the mantle in my study. There it will reside with the strange, but flattering paintings and all the rest.

I've received a gift from the good Sir Calaudrin Estardes. There's not a great deal to work with I'm told, but the Velvet Box has shined it up as well as they can.

It's the thought behind it that matters.

Though with that mentality behind it, should I feel insulted?

Oh well. I'll wear it with pride.

During a discussion with Lady Celeste of House Pravus, a question was presented that drew my interest. Whether or not I was interested in the acquisition of a few goats that she was now trying to offload onto someone else. Well the joke's on her, because I gladly accepted her kind gift and now I plan on House Deepwood having the nicest lawn in the whole of the Ward of House Grayson.

Six goats in total have arrived and while I have not named them, I respect the fervor which they take in pursuit of their duty. They will earn names soon enough, I'm sure. Almost immediately their work began and I have spent much of the evening watching them, fascinated by their diligence and seemingly bottomless appetites. There is of course some mess to be removed, but when it's all said and done this grass will be well trimmed, just the way I like it.

Once their work is done, then I will probably need to have signs posted warning others from stepping on this perfect grass. I will notify the Iron Guard of violators. This grass is going to be so darn wonderful.

Thank you, Lady Celeste.

The Academy of War has the thanks of House Deepwood. When there was a need, those martial minds rose to the occasion. A business transaction it may have been, but one well aligned with the purpose of the Academy of War.