Written By Khanne
Jan. 30, 2024, 7:33 p.m.(8/25/1021 AR)
Relationship Note on Titus
I often told you, and anyone who would listen, that you left me speechless. Your words when you spoke to me under the stars... Your letters. I was just left... Speechless.
From the moment we met, our communication...
No.
Your communication. The way you spoke that first night, I just wanted to talk more. We could not see one another as we sat blindfolded, clumsily feeding each other morsels. I almost always enjoy the food at the Feasts of Senses, but that night, the food was secondary. We were too busy talking. We each gave one another a clue to search for after, creating our own scavenger hunt of sorts. I had to search for the eyes that matched the stone you gave me that night, and you had to search for the champagne silver hairpins.
I worried our paths would never cross again.
I am so glad that they did.
We spent a few years getting to know each other. We spoke of the histories of our families, the traditions of our lands, and pertinent to the times we find ourselves in now, the dreams of how we envisioned the future. We had our differences, for sure, but we respected one another and appreciated learning about those ways in which we balanced each other.
For without darkness, one cannot appreciate the light. Without suffering, we do not truly know joy. Life is about balance.
We balanced one another. We are an example of how people from different backgrounds and even different beliefs can better each other, make each other stronger, while still giving the utmost respect to those very things that make us us and make us different from one another.
I don't even know how long ago it was when you first told me you gave me your heart. "It is no longer mine, I am giving it to you. It is yours to hold." You vowed to do everything you could to protect me, to protect Halfshav... even if we never married. You kept that promise to the last, and I shall keep mine. If I survive this Reckoning... if Arx survives, I will make sure that you are returned to Sangris, to have the traditions of the fallen of Sangris carried out in your honor. It is the absolute least I can do for you after all you have given to me.
I do not need to visit a gravestone to feel close to you. Your heart is within mine. You gave it to me to hold. You and I will always be as close as if you were still next to me.
I wrote a lot for someone saying they are speechless, and it was rambling. I know. Yet it still doesn't feel like enough. I need the world to know your story. I need them all to know how absolutely amazing you were and what you gave to help others. I will keep your words with me for as long as I stand. I will continue to wield Hope and use it as my shield. I will never let it go.
I will keep your heart safe within my own for as long as my own beats.
No words will ever be enough, My Titus.
I love you and will love you.... To the last.
From the moment we met, our communication...
No.
Your communication. The way you spoke that first night, I just wanted to talk more. We could not see one another as we sat blindfolded, clumsily feeding each other morsels. I almost always enjoy the food at the Feasts of Senses, but that night, the food was secondary. We were too busy talking. We each gave one another a clue to search for after, creating our own scavenger hunt of sorts. I had to search for the eyes that matched the stone you gave me that night, and you had to search for the champagne silver hairpins.
I worried our paths would never cross again.
I am so glad that they did.
We spent a few years getting to know each other. We spoke of the histories of our families, the traditions of our lands, and pertinent to the times we find ourselves in now, the dreams of how we envisioned the future. We had our differences, for sure, but we respected one another and appreciated learning about those ways in which we balanced each other.
For without darkness, one cannot appreciate the light. Without suffering, we do not truly know joy. Life is about balance.
We balanced one another. We are an example of how people from different backgrounds and even different beliefs can better each other, make each other stronger, while still giving the utmost respect to those very things that make us us and make us different from one another.
I don't even know how long ago it was when you first told me you gave me your heart. "It is no longer mine, I am giving it to you. It is yours to hold." You vowed to do everything you could to protect me, to protect Halfshav... even if we never married. You kept that promise to the last, and I shall keep mine. If I survive this Reckoning... if Arx survives, I will make sure that you are returned to Sangris, to have the traditions of the fallen of Sangris carried out in your honor. It is the absolute least I can do for you after all you have given to me.
I do not need to visit a gravestone to feel close to you. Your heart is within mine. You gave it to me to hold. You and I will always be as close as if you were still next to me.
I wrote a lot for someone saying they are speechless, and it was rambling. I know. Yet it still doesn't feel like enough. I need the world to know your story. I need them all to know how absolutely amazing you were and what you gave to help others. I will keep your words with me for as long as I stand. I will continue to wield Hope and use it as my shield. I will never let it go.
I will keep your heart safe within my own for as long as my own beats.
No words will ever be enough, My Titus.
I love you and will love you.... To the last.
Written By Khanne
Jan. 28, 2024, 7:23 p.m.(8/21/1021 AR)
Oh.... One more thing.
I hugged Sen'azala and live to tell the tale.
I hugged Sen'azala and live to tell the tale.
Written By Khanne
Jan. 28, 2024, 7:21 p.m.(8/21/1021 AR)
I have been reluctant to write in my journals recently. My emotions are running the gamut and I don't want them to dictate my words and have my intent be unclear.
I have been nervous. I have felt an immense pressure to perform well, to ensure that neither Mountain or Otter are hurt too badly. Mountain, I believe will stand on his own. He is, after all, Mountain. But if something happens to me and Otter is here... with the curse in place, well, it's just a lot to know that someone else's survival depends on my own. It could be enough to emotionally cripple a person, really.
But I will not let it weaken me. I will not be crippled. No matter what fear or worry might arise in my thoughts, my heart will remain full of hope and determined. We CANNOT fall. We WILL prevail!
Whenever I begin to feel shaken, all I have to do is think of My Titus' words to me...
"Remember those you grew up with. Remember those you've lost along the way. Remember that those who are behind you are there needing your protection. Those who are alongside you fight against a thing that would burn the whole world just to rule over the ashes. And those in front of you? They are your enemy, meet them with unyielding honour. To the Last."
I fight for all of the memories we hold and I fight to ensure a future full of new ones to come. And when I have that thought in my mind, I feel strong.
I have been nervous. I have felt an immense pressure to perform well, to ensure that neither Mountain or Otter are hurt too badly. Mountain, I believe will stand on his own. He is, after all, Mountain. But if something happens to me and Otter is here... with the curse in place, well, it's just a lot to know that someone else's survival depends on my own. It could be enough to emotionally cripple a person, really.
But I will not let it weaken me. I will not be crippled. No matter what fear or worry might arise in my thoughts, my heart will remain full of hope and determined. We CANNOT fall. We WILL prevail!
Whenever I begin to feel shaken, all I have to do is think of My Titus' words to me...
"Remember those you grew up with. Remember those you've lost along the way. Remember that those who are behind you are there needing your protection. Those who are alongside you fight against a thing that would burn the whole world just to rule over the ashes. And those in front of you? They are your enemy, meet them with unyielding honour. To the Last."
I fight for all of the memories we hold and I fight to ensure a future full of new ones to come. And when I have that thought in my mind, I feel strong.
Written By Khanne
Jan. 14, 2024, 6:42 p.m.(7/21/1021 AR)
Relationship Note on Titus
I write all day; messenger after messenger; submitting my thoughts to the journals for Vellichor's strength.
I have meetings and talks, asking what-ifs, and conceptualizing ideas that may just be crazy enough to work. I work with others to create Plan A, B, C... as many as are needed.
I feel like a human dust devil, spinning and spinning so I can face as many directions at once...
... then I pause a moment to scan the whites and see your words.
My Titus,
All at once, I am centered. I am focused. You leave me speechless, but feeling strong, proud of everything I have built, we are building, all of Arvum has built and will keep building. You remind me to focus on the one thing I shall never let go of.
Hope.
I will stand, as you say - with courage, determination, unyielding resolve, and with honor. I will stand not to preserve my own life, but to protect the future for all of us and for those future generations to know our stories.
I will stand with you beside me even if we are not in the same place.
I will stand.
TO THE LAST!
I have meetings and talks, asking what-ifs, and conceptualizing ideas that may just be crazy enough to work. I work with others to create Plan A, B, C... as many as are needed.
I feel like a human dust devil, spinning and spinning so I can face as many directions at once...
... then I pause a moment to scan the whites and see your words.
My Titus,
All at once, I am centered. I am focused. You leave me speechless, but feeling strong, proud of everything I have built, we are building, all of Arvum has built and will keep building. You remind me to focus on the one thing I shall never let go of.
Hope.
I will stand, as you say - with courage, determination, unyielding resolve, and with honor. I will stand not to preserve my own life, but to protect the future for all of us and for those future generations to know our stories.
I will stand with you beside me even if we are not in the same place.
I will stand.
TO THE LAST!
Written By Khanne
Nov. 26, 2023, 12:11 p.m.(4/6/1021 AR)
I've been trying to be more social, to visit more people, have more conversations, share more joy. I don't think I have been necessarily -successful- in my endeavors, but, the thought is there. It is difficult when my mind is so full of lists of things to be done and my soul is so full of a desire to to resolve all the things at once for everyone. I want to make the world a better place... for us, for the future generations. I want hope to shine and to prevail.
I don't feel ready... yet we have to be ready, don't we?
See... there my thoughts go again, starting off with thoughts of being social and drifting towards... well... other things.
This is why I struggle. But, I shall continue to try.
I don't feel ready... yet we have to be ready, don't we?
See... there my thoughts go again, starting off with thoughts of being social and drifting towards... well... other things.
This is why I struggle. But, I shall continue to try.
Written By Khanne
Oct. 16, 2023, 3:44 p.m.(1/8/1021 AR)
Relationship Note on Percephon
Is someone trying to pull a prank on me?
What is this message I received????
What is this message I received????
Written By Khanne
Sept. 11, 2022, 9:35 p.m.(5/13/1018 AR)
I do not come by often, but on occasion, I like to visit the archives to browse through the white journals. I like to see what others might have going on in their lives. It helps keep me abreast of what is happening all around me as time ticks by and my attention is so focused on other matters. I also read them looking for inspiration, or for hope. Some awaken within me a desire to debate, though rarely do I fall for that bait.
Others, unexpectedly, bring memories both sweet and sorrowful, of people who have long returned to the wheel. It could be for an obvious reason, such as when a journal speaks of the person by name, or something as simple as mentioning a particular flower. Someone might simply say they had the most delightful slice of strawberry pie, and I am immediately taken back through time and memory to a loved one telling me it is their favorite fruit.
These journals do more than give us a stage to mark down our experiences as we travel through this life. They give us the opportunity to remember those who have walked the path with us for a time, whether we are author or reader. And for this, I give thanks to Vellichor.
Others, unexpectedly, bring memories both sweet and sorrowful, of people who have long returned to the wheel. It could be for an obvious reason, such as when a journal speaks of the person by name, or something as simple as mentioning a particular flower. Someone might simply say they had the most delightful slice of strawberry pie, and I am immediately taken back through time and memory to a loved one telling me it is their favorite fruit.
These journals do more than give us a stage to mark down our experiences as we travel through this life. They give us the opportunity to remember those who have walked the path with us for a time, whether we are author or reader. And for this, I give thanks to Vellichor.
Written By Khanne
July 31, 2022, 7:58 p.m.(2/13/1018 AR)
I have always believed in my cousin's abilities. There are many areas in which his talents excel. Some may have thought it crazy that Halfshav would send our rather small navy out to a sea battle. Mirk himself commented to me when I let him know he would be in command, "dammit Khanne, I'm a shaman, not an Admiral!" But I had faith... and he surpassed even what I expected of him.
I know the battle is not yet won, but I am just as confident that the Compact will prevail. I believe in the collective of us as much as I believe in my cousin. The more we work together for the greater good, the more we will succeed. Now it's time to regroup, mend what needs mended, mourn what needs mourned, build up what needs strengthened, and prepare for the next.
We Stand.
I know the battle is not yet won, but I am just as confident that the Compact will prevail. I believe in the collective of us as much as I believe in my cousin. The more we work together for the greater good, the more we will succeed. Now it's time to regroup, mend what needs mended, mourn what needs mourned, build up what needs strengthened, and prepare for the next.
We Stand.
Written By Khanne
May 31, 2022, 6:42 p.m.(10/1/1017 AR)
Relationship Note on Reigna
I can't... I don't have words. My beautiful Rei, one of my closest friends, beyond friends... like family... I just can't.
Written By Khanne
March 24, 2022, 8:10 p.m.(5/5/1017 AR)
Relationship Note on Corrigan
Balance is one of the ideals I hold most dear, and have for many, many years. What I have observed is that one item might find balance alone, but it takes a lot of will and work to maintain and can easily be made unstable or even toppled by a gentle breeze. However, if the one were a pair or more, balance can be found by leaning against one another, creating a stronger foundation able to withstand so much more, making it a force capable of not only rising higher, but being left standing when others have fallen.
Written By Khanne
March 23, 2022, 2:26 p.m.(5/2/1017 AR)
Relationship Note on Corrigan
That is so sad and I highly disagree!
I can count quite a few times that if it were not for others, I would certainly NOT have survived.
I can count quite a few times that if it were not for others, I would certainly NOT have survived.
Written By Khanne
March 6, 2022, 10:38 p.m.(3/25/1017 AR)
I have enjoyed every single one I have attended in my time, and the recent Feast of Senses is no different! The food was delectable, possibly my favorite menu of them all, really. My partner for the evening was... delightful. It's hard to explain, but the conversation was intriguing, challenging even. I do like a good mystery to solve.
Written By Khanne
Dec. 5, 2021, 10:07 p.m.(9/11/1016 AR)
There's an air of nostalgia about me for some reason. I have been thinking of a lot of people my life has crossed paths with lately. Some I knew briefly, like our paths simply just crossed. Some who I seemed to walk along the same path for a while. Then others, whose paths were entwined with mine.
They are bittersweet memories. They fill my heart with joy, make me smile, but then the pain of missing them cuts in... But even that is lovely in its own way, isn't it? Beautiful melancholy.
Many of returned to the wheel... but sometimes... sometimes I like to imagine that when I am thinking of the ones who are out there, alive, somewhere... that perhaps, they might feel it. Maybe they find themselves smiling for no reason they can discern. Maybe they have their own moment of nostalgia.
Or maybe they are just out there somewhere, living their best life without a thought to their pasts at all.
They are bittersweet memories. They fill my heart with joy, make me smile, but then the pain of missing them cuts in... But even that is lovely in its own way, isn't it? Beautiful melancholy.
Many of returned to the wheel... but sometimes... sometimes I like to imagine that when I am thinking of the ones who are out there, alive, somewhere... that perhaps, they might feel it. Maybe they find themselves smiling for no reason they can discern. Maybe they have their own moment of nostalgia.
Or maybe they are just out there somewhere, living their best life without a thought to their pasts at all.
Written By Khanne
Nov. 28, 2021, 8:01 p.m.(8/25/1016 AR)
Sometimes, when reading the journals available to me, I feel the need to hand out dictionaries to the people of Arx.
You know that word you are using? I do not think it means what you think it means...
Oh, which word? Well... quite a few, I am afraid. For example, sensible, respectful, and practical, for starters.
You know that word you are using? I do not think it means what you think it means...
Oh, which word? Well... quite a few, I am afraid. For example, sensible, respectful, and practical, for starters.
Written By Khanne
Nov. 28, 2021, 7:44 p.m.(8/25/1016 AR)
Relationship Note on Noah
Archduke Consort Noah Velenosa is surely one of a kind. Absolutely no one compares. Not only is he extremely cultured, he has quite a way with words as well. They are much appreciated.
He also likes cookies. It's hard to find fault in anyone who likes cookies.
He also likes cookies. It's hard to find fault in anyone who likes cookies.
Written By Khanne
Sept. 1, 2021, 8:15 p.m.(2/17/1016 AR)
Have you ever noted a scent upon a breeze that brought about a sense of nostalgia, but you did not know why?
Or maybe you went on a trip to somewhere you have never seen, yet it seemed familiar, as if your feet walked that path before?
Or have you heard a song said to be carried down through generations, but you are hearing it for the first time, and instead of experiencing it through merely your ears, you feel it resonate deep within your heart, like it is touching some hidden part of you?
Like you are connected?
Or maybe you went on a trip to somewhere you have never seen, yet it seemed familiar, as if your feet walked that path before?
Or have you heard a song said to be carried down through generations, but you are hearing it for the first time, and instead of experiencing it through merely your ears, you feel it resonate deep within your heart, like it is touching some hidden part of you?
Like you are connected?
Written By Khanne
Aug. 22, 2021, 10:01 p.m.(1/25/1016 AR)
I wasn't prepared.
it seems forever ago now, but... spent so much of my time researching those monstrosities, traveling to get help, hints, tips on how they could be bested. It worked, once. It was difficult and I nearly lost two who are dear to me in the process, but we did it... back then. We were prepared. We did the research, had the tools....I always planned, always prepared. I made sure there were options... We succeeded.
Recently, in Bastion, when I saw one again... I wasn't expecting it. I didn't have an inkling that I might see one again, let alone that night. All that research I put in, and when the time came, I knew we couldn't do it like that again. We weren't prepared. We didn't have the tools.
I felt so helpless.
I felt like I was floundering. I was caught up in the chaos and I didn't know what to do. I helped, some, I think... but so many were lost... so many. I am reeling from this, and I know I am being hard on myself.... But I feel like I...
I failed.
I wasn't prepared.
it seems forever ago now, but... spent so much of my time researching those monstrosities, traveling to get help, hints, tips on how they could be bested. It worked, once. It was difficult and I nearly lost two who are dear to me in the process, but we did it... back then. We were prepared. We did the research, had the tools....I always planned, always prepared. I made sure there were options... We succeeded.
Recently, in Bastion, when I saw one again... I wasn't expecting it. I didn't have an inkling that I might see one again, let alone that night. All that research I put in, and when the time came, I knew we couldn't do it like that again. We weren't prepared. We didn't have the tools.
I felt so helpless.
I felt like I was floundering. I was caught up in the chaos and I didn't know what to do. I helped, some, I think... but so many were lost... so many. I am reeling from this, and I know I am being hard on myself.... But I feel like I...
I failed.
I wasn't prepared.
Written By Khanne
Aug. 15, 2021, 7:45 p.m.(1/11/1016 AR)
How many breaths have there been between then and now?
I lost count long ago...
I lost count long ago...
Written By Khanne
July 4, 2021, 8:38 p.m.(10/11/1015 AR)
Moments like the one I currently find myself in, I would take parchment and begin writing to you. But there are no words left to write. No messenger that can find you.
I miss those letters...
Duchess seeking Penpal. Send applications.
I miss those letters...
Duchess seeking Penpal. Send applications.
Written By Khanne
June 13, 2021, 4:30 p.m.(8/25/1015 AR)
Relationship Note on Lianne
It has NOT been 10 years. How could it be?
...it's been 10 years...
I feel old now.
Also, I forgot your birthday, which means, I also forgot mine. I am sorry I am so forgetful.
Happy belated birthday, Beautiful Dusk. Here's to your next decade.
...it's been 10 years...
I feel old now.
Also, I forgot your birthday, which means, I also forgot mine. I am sorry I am so forgetful.
Happy belated birthday, Beautiful Dusk. Here's to your next decade.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.