Written By Morrighan
May 3, 2017, 10:20 a.m.(5/22/1006 AR)
With time comes change, be it great or small, enjoyable or hated - but nothing can stop it from arriving, regardless of your feeling. We stand upon a great precipice of change, staring down at a dark gaping maw of uncertainty, filled with things that once were believed to be regarded as myth. Tall tales. Now they beat on our gates, infiltrate our city, banging the drums of war and many have been taken from us as a result. Yet we stand strong, fighting relentlessly to protect and cast away the vile creatures that threaten everything. They bring the potential to end all things. All life. Every little hope and dream, any fragment of a yearned for future - it all hangs on how this war ends and who comes out the victor. So as I stand on this edge, staring down into that void of unknown possibilities brought on by change, I have to recollect how we came to be here in the first place. How I came to be where I stand.
I can't say that I had the best life before bending the knee to Redrain, it was the worst Abyss most anyone could ever imagine. Yet, despite the worst of it, through the odds, I came out breathing. I'm still here, standing. Living. Surviving. It didn't come without a price. Once you come out of a place like that, it changes you. The ghosts of it still haunt, still torment, and while I'm still here, it leaves wounds that have yet to fully heal. The bitter resentment and hate still rears its head, deeply rooted, and sometimes it takes a firm hand to have the strength to pull such thoroughly entrenched ideas out. Sometimes it takes very real threats of more change to make you pause, to make you think and to give incentive to try and clear away debris left by scars and poignant memories that still cut deep - all so you can see the world around you with absolute clarity. So you can see the bigger picture without anything else clouding it.
Though while I stand, a survivor, I'm still not free. I'm still bound, and I've done it to myself by holding onto a past that has ended up hurting people I never intended to hurt. Change can be a frightening thing at times, especially when the outcome is uncertain, but if you don't pull out the weeds, other things won't grow properly, and left unattended, they'll overtake everything, resulting in destruction. So, here I am on this edge. Do I stay and keep looking back over my shoulder to what was, long since passed, and let it chain me further, unable to progress, leading to my eventual self destruction? Or do I look forward into that unknown below, take that leap and hope for the best? Not much of a question, really, it's clear what I have to do - but a little at a time.
Change can shape you, mold you into something better, but if you don't rip out the unsavory pieces, it means nothing.
I'll tear it all out, one piece at a time. I won't let it weaken me or threaten the things I care most about.
I've survived some of the worst things imaginable, and I'll survive this.
I can't say that I had the best life before bending the knee to Redrain, it was the worst Abyss most anyone could ever imagine. Yet, despite the worst of it, through the odds, I came out breathing. I'm still here, standing. Living. Surviving. It didn't come without a price. Once you come out of a place like that, it changes you. The ghosts of it still haunt, still torment, and while I'm still here, it leaves wounds that have yet to fully heal. The bitter resentment and hate still rears its head, deeply rooted, and sometimes it takes a firm hand to have the strength to pull such thoroughly entrenched ideas out. Sometimes it takes very real threats of more change to make you pause, to make you think and to give incentive to try and clear away debris left by scars and poignant memories that still cut deep - all so you can see the world around you with absolute clarity. So you can see the bigger picture without anything else clouding it.
Though while I stand, a survivor, I'm still not free. I'm still bound, and I've done it to myself by holding onto a past that has ended up hurting people I never intended to hurt. Change can be a frightening thing at times, especially when the outcome is uncertain, but if you don't pull out the weeds, other things won't grow properly, and left unattended, they'll overtake everything, resulting in destruction. So, here I am on this edge. Do I stay and keep looking back over my shoulder to what was, long since passed, and let it chain me further, unable to progress, leading to my eventual self destruction? Or do I look forward into that unknown below, take that leap and hope for the best? Not much of a question, really, it's clear what I have to do - but a little at a time.
Change can shape you, mold you into something better, but if you don't rip out the unsavory pieces, it means nothing.
I'll tear it all out, one piece at a time. I won't let it weaken me or threaten the things I care most about.
I've survived some of the worst things imaginable, and I'll survive this.
Written By Morrighan
April 23, 2017, 7:52 p.m.(5/1/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Deva
I miss her already.
Written By Morrighan
March 26, 2017, 11:39 p.m.(3/1/1006 AR)
We did it. For now. They retreated, but it's only the beginning. This was my first real battle, the first time I really saw anything this extreme up close and personal. I saw things that I couldn't wrap my head around. Hundreds of people turned to dust. Nothing. They just dissolved and were gone. The ballistae and trebuchets did the same, and some were wounded in the process. After a while the fear and anxiety turns to something else, all I could think about was just killing as many of them as I could, slaughtering any that got close to Darren, and for the most part I succeeded. Did I mention Deva got a killer shot at the leader? She shot him in the face. The fucking face. Right in his fucking eyeball. It was glorious. People fell, but thanks to the skill of the Mercies, they were able to be taken to safety or continued fighting. There were many brave men and women there today, and it was an honor to fight with them. I've had enough excitement, however, and now I need to get all this blood off of me and crawl into bed. I'm tired.
Written By Morrighan
March 26, 2017, 6:29 p.m.(2/28/1006 AR)
Soon I will take my place beside Darren at the city gates with the hopes that I can sufficiently defend and protect them both. I will stand with many others, and can only pray to the Spirits that all will go well. It's in this time I've grown pensive, and figured now is a good a time as any to have my last wishes jotted down, should the worst happen and I fall.
Anze - Take care of Kiarra, she'll keep Gustaf company and they can be good kitty friends.
Freja - I want you to have that drinking horn, it never hurts to have a spare.
Darren - I want my spare equipment, old arms and armor to go to any novice warriors in the House, so they'll have something to practice with. This includes my old leathers, my dirks, and knuckledusters.
Deva - I want you to have my black drinking flask, you may need it to stash good whiskey in when you get tired of all that wine.
Sigurd - Take care of Brahm, don't let Blitz eat him. He's an ornery bastard, but I think with enough time you two can tolerate each other - and he'll need Brigid. Who else will make him pretty?
As for all my clothes, I suppose those can be divided between the women of the House, should they want any of them. They can always be altered by a tailor if they don't fit, they're all fairly exceptional. I'd like a bonfire, and you lot can roll that barrel of whiskey out of my room, along with the various other bottles of liquor, mead, and wine I've got stashed in there, and drink until you can't anymore. Remember me.
I can't thank Redrain enough for all they've done. When I was nothing, had nothing, they gave me everything without realizing it. They took me in and became my family when I had none, they gave me strength and purpose and it is the greatest honor to go to battle beside them. I'll give everything I have to keep them safe. To the last.
Anze - Take care of Kiarra, she'll keep Gustaf company and they can be good kitty friends.
Freja - I want you to have that drinking horn, it never hurts to have a spare.
Darren - I want my spare equipment, old arms and armor to go to any novice warriors in the House, so they'll have something to practice with. This includes my old leathers, my dirks, and knuckledusters.
Deva - I want you to have my black drinking flask, you may need it to stash good whiskey in when you get tired of all that wine.
Sigurd - Take care of Brahm, don't let Blitz eat him. He's an ornery bastard, but I think with enough time you two can tolerate each other - and he'll need Brigid. Who else will make him pretty?
As for all my clothes, I suppose those can be divided between the women of the House, should they want any of them. They can always be altered by a tailor if they don't fit, they're all fairly exceptional. I'd like a bonfire, and you lot can roll that barrel of whiskey out of my room, along with the various other bottles of liquor, mead, and wine I've got stashed in there, and drink until you can't anymore. Remember me.
I can't thank Redrain enough for all they've done. When I was nothing, had nothing, they gave me everything without realizing it. They took me in and became my family when I had none, they gave me strength and purpose and it is the greatest honor to go to battle beside them. I'll give everything I have to keep them safe. To the last.
Written By Morrighan
March 12, 2017, 10:49 p.m.(1/28/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Anze
I am -NOT- a floof, thank you very much. My armor isn't fancy - I've seen far more concerned with prettiness over functionality - and my armor isn't that. It serves the purpose of keeping me alive. If it being made from exotic hides makes it fancy, would you rather I keep my regular leather and be less protected?
Written By Morrighan
Feb. 19, 2017, 8:18 a.m.(12/13/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Joscelin
I really love this woman. Each time I think she's outdone herself with her work, she goes and creates something that's beyond amazing. I envy her talent a little bit, but Spirits is she wondrous. My birthday gift is truly beautiful, thank you!
Written By Morrighan
Feb. 12, 2017, 11:05 p.m.(12/1/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Joscelin
I've said it once, and I'll say it again - this woman is Jayus incarnate. Each piece she creates truly is a marvelous piece of art. I don't know how she does it, but her work is breathtaking. My friend will be pleased with this birthday present, it's so beautiful. Boss Lady you're the best. I'm so excited! Much love.
Written By Morrighan
Feb. 5, 2017, 11:58 p.m.(11/11/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Freja
Like many of the nobles in the House, Freja is one I admire. Though I've mentioned it before, I appreciate her brevity. When there is something that needs to be said, she gets straight to the point. There's no sugared words, no lessening a blow, she gives her words to you bluntly, in the way you need to hear it, rather than how you'd like to hear it. Some might perceive her as cold, but she is a woman of great strength, and I think the sort that doesn't let emotions cloud anything. I will say this: She can blush. I didn't think it possible, but I'll be damned, she can. She also has a really cute little baby vulture that apparently when full grown will swoop down on you. Enemies beware. Swooping is bad.
Written By Morrighan
Feb. 5, 2017, 8:23 p.m.(11/10/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Sigurd
What has it been? Five months since I met Gurdy? It feels longer. Sometimes it's hard to imagine that it's only been a short amount of time from when I strolled into The Spirits with his invitation to have a drink. It's rare to never that I turn down whiskey, or much of any liquor for that matter. The drinking game that ensued afterward carried on well into the late evening..or was it early morning? I don't remember. I just remember sending drunk letters to Freja and Kieran shoving glass after glass of water in my face. Regardless, it went on for a good long while, and neither of us were willing to admit defeat, so we kept drinking that awful shit until one of us couldn't stand anymore. Unfortunately for my pride, I was the first to drop. Barely. He dropped right after, so his victory was hardly a win, despite his protestations. I received a nice plaque afterward, though. From that day on it was an instant friendship. He's my best man friend. Drinking buddy. Sparring partner. I heard his Uncle once mention how he and Gurdy went drinking, and the tavern ended up burning down. I want to be that legendary whenever I'm old. It's very inspiring. Breaking a table isn't much in comparison.
Written By Morrighan
Feb. 5, 2017, 7:16 p.m.(11/10/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Kieran
Ensuring this one stays out of trouble is a full time job. I mean, being a servant to a House in and of itself is a full time job, but this impish devil can be a handful. Frogs. So many frogs. Brahm ate a couple, he didn't like them much, though. Soirees in the Augury, bathing in the Augury, it's a wonder Mother Bear hasn't put him over her knee and given a proper smack or two. That's just the way he is, though. Such a troublemaker, but I wouldn't have him change for anything. Kieran is always chipper and carefree, always prepared for mischief. There's hardly a time that I see him that he's not smiling or laughing. He was one of the first people I met upon coming to Arx, and as such became one of my first good friends. Still is. Always will be. I think he needs to up his prank game though, the Villa could stand to be a bit more lively.
Written By Morrighan
Feb. 5, 2017, 4:40 p.m.(11/10/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Deva
Deva. Deva. Deva. She's very much a free-spirit. Wild and fiery. When Sherrod sent me here, I was to be her handmaiden, not that I really knew what someone of that particular station did, but it helped me to look after her. Kind of. She's sneaky. It's about as difficult as keeping Kieran out of trouble. The Princess is impish and spirited, does as she likes and she's not one to be bound or restrained. Also likes whiskey, but what proper Northerner doesn't? I'm particularly fond of Deva, and she's like family, much like the rest of the House. I thoroughly enjoy the freedom she gives from time to time to throat punch people who shouldn't be wandering into the Villa uninvited.
Written By Morrighan
Feb. 5, 2017, 4:27 p.m.(11/10/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Darren
I'm not as close to the Ruling Prince as I am with other members of the House, but regardless of that he's always treated me like one of his own, never regarded me as an outsider. If I needed to talk or had something to say, he has always listened. He's been very much like a brother - one that will give me gray hair before I'm thirty, but very sibling-like nonetheless. With everything going on with the world, times have been tense, decisions have had to be made, and he's always voiced what he thought was right, what was best, even if a vast amount didn't subscribe to his opinions and beliefs. He has been a respectable leader for the House, and he's earned it several times over. During times of adversity he has stood tall and strong, solid like an oak, unmoving in his resolve and has remained well-grounded. I'm proud of him, proud to call him our Ruling Prince, and without a doubt I know Sherrod is just as proud of his son.
Written By Morrighan
Feb. 3, 2017, 10:11 p.m.(11/5/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Muiryn
I first met him one day earlier in the summer when he came into my shop, looking to do some business. I've met a Greenmarch or two before him, but I found the giant to be rather personable, and his daughter has an adorable personality. We came to an agreement that I would use the furs, leathers, stones, and other materials that they're renown for, and they're quite fine. They'll make lovely clothes. I spent a good part of my morning drinking with him, and despite the bit that occurred at Stone Grove, I rather like the man. I think if I had known my own Father, maybe he would have been a little like Muiryn?
Written By Morrighan
Jan. 19, 2017, 7:51 a.m.(9/14/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Joscelin
Joscelin Arterius proved to be a quick friend shortly after meeting last year or so. We both have the same type of humor, both have a tendency to speak our minds, unafraid of who overhears - and it's particularly delightful to embarrass her whenever an opportunity arises. She is a woman blessed by Jayus, one, if not _the_ best, jeweler this city has to offer. Everything she makes is gorgeous, they truly are pieces of art. Jos is one of my best friends, and I couldn't be more happier for her and Felix. She deserves this. Happiness. Congratulations on this next chapter of your life, Boss Lady, it's an honor to be a part of it.
Written By Morrighan
Jan. 19, 2017, 7:30 a.m.(9/14/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Ida
Fear not wonderful craftswoman, I'll join you with the 'If he hurts her, I'll kill him' part. Jos will be well looked after.
Written By Morrighan
Jan. 13, 2017, 1:22 a.m.(8/23/1005 AR)
I don't think I could be any more let down and disappointed with people than I already am. Suppose it serves as a poignant reminder of my place in the world.
Written By Morrighan
Jan. 4, 2017, 9:43 p.m.(7/27/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Sigurd
He gave me a fucking barrel of whiskey. A. Full. Barrel. It's glorious. This man is a good friend, a good friend indeed.
Written By Morrighan
Jan. 1, 2017, 6:17 p.m.(7/17/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Drea
Mother Bear never ceases to amaze me - she's wise and fierce, nothing seems to unnerve her. Even standing as strong and firm as an oak, Lady Drea has this poise and elegance that I've yet to see anyone come close to matching. Sometimes she has this ethereal way about her, - it's really fascinating. I simply adore this woman, she's the closest thing to a real Mother I've ever had.
Written By Morrighan
Dec. 25, 2016, 11:17 p.m.(6/25/1005 AR)
So many roses and they're all so fragrant and beautiful. The color is very vibrant and they really add a lovely pop of color to my room. I think I'll try dipping them in wax to help preserve them for a while, just to enjoy them for a bit longer than usual.
On another note, my jewelry set is complete - and I must say, Joscelin really is amazing. The pendant and earrings are just gorgeous. As always, she's done a fantastic job.
On another note, my jewelry set is complete - and I must say, Joscelin really is amazing. The pendant and earrings are just gorgeous. As always, she's done a fantastic job.
Written By Morrighan
Dec. 25, 2016, 10:51 p.m.(6/25/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Sigurd
Perhaps the only Nightgold that I'm somewhat familiar with. He's a sort that I can converse easily with, and definitely a great drinking buddy. Sigurd is pretty alright, even if some of the time I want to beat him.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.