Written By Sunaia
Jan. 31, 2020, 12:39 p.m.(9.004174107142857/1.2337500000000001/1012.6670145089286 AR)
It is always strange to me that anyone should take idle interest in the writings of others' journals - even white. What draws someone to want to read another's thoughts, unless there is some specific reason for it - such as information sought, specifically?
I can't help but think of Killian, in this time. I wish he was here to share in everything.
I can't help but think of Killian, in this time. I wish he was here to share in everything.
Written By Sunaia
Jan. 30, 2020, 12:09 a.m.(8.895624999999999/30.155/1012.65796875 AR)
Relationship Note on Ashur
At last, I may write openly:
I am to marry.
Blessed am I for Lord Ashur Sanna, the man who has won not only my hand but my heart and makes me stronger for it.
I am to marry.
Blessed am I for Lord Ashur Sanna, the man who has won not only my hand but my heart and makes me stronger for it.
Written By Sunaia
Jan. 28, 2020, 12:07 a.m.(8.752781498015873/22.15576388888889/1012.6460651248346 AR)
Relationship Note on Ashur
Every day, I am more glad for your presence.
Written By Sunaia
Jan. 25, 2020, 10:03 p.m.(8.60410011574074/20.829606481481484/1012.6336750096451 AR)
Relationship Note on Ashur
Though tears come in many forms and for many reasons, you never cease to amuse me.
Gods know I've needed to laugh, and it's been some time since I've laughed as much as I do with you, Lord Ashur Sanna.
May you be blessed, in due time, with children who bring you laughter, joy and love.
If anyone does, you deserve it.
An afterthought: Though I can't be sure, I couldn't help but wonder if the wolf spider was taking vengeance for the tease. Either that, or you disturbed his home. You may wish to be more careful of spider's webs.
Gods know I've needed to laugh, and it's been some time since I've laughed as much as I do with you, Lord Ashur Sanna.
May you be blessed, in due time, with children who bring you laughter, joy and love.
If anyone does, you deserve it.
An afterthought: Though I can't be sure, I couldn't help but wonder if the wolf spider was taking vengeance for the tease. Either that, or you disturbed his home. You may wish to be more careful of spider's webs.
Written By Sunaia
Jan. 24, 2020, 12:15 a.m.(8.467764963624338/20.194837962962964/1012.6223137469686 AR)
Relationship Note on Ashur
I hope everything works out.
Written By Sunaia
Jan. 24, 2020, 12:12 a.m.(8.467649636243387/20.18837962962963/1012.6223041363536 AR)
Relationship Note on Harlan
This will hardly be the first day, or the last, that I write or say these words in regards you, cousin; but they are so meaningful to me, today:
Thank you - for our family and for mine.
Thank you - for our family and for mine.
Written By Sunaia
Jan. 14, 2020, 1:17 a.m.(7/22/1012 AR)
A reminder:
Make sure that names are stated as names, just in case the Scholars don't realize they are.
Make sure that names are stated as names, just in case the Scholars don't realize they are.
Written By Sunaia
Dec. 27, 2019, 8:11 a.m.(6/14/1012 AR)
Relationship Note on Olivia
Cousin Olivia's rather spontaneous birthday celebration was a complete success - if I don't enter into consideration that my personal desire was to find and give her, also, a partner in marriage. That was, of course, the reason for wearing a skirt which, while pretty and comfortable enough, still feels awkward, like I'm pretending to be someone I'm not. I don't think anyone noticed, unless that was the reason for one after another failure.
I doubt it, though. Are men so very intimidated by directness? Again, I'm shocked, finding this already several times to be the case. Olivia is certainly sure I'm the one who scared them off. But, if they're scared by me, how in Gloria's name are they ever going to protect /her/??!
I doubt I'll stop or slow, though I did take a break. But only because I was tired after so many people, after so much noise. After so much talking; I'm sure I talked more in the span of a few hours than I have talked to any in years.
I prefer the woods, and dogs. And horses, honestly; which - thank good Petrichor for at least one blessing - may be possible on account of Legate Bianca's protege, who promises to introduce me to an Oathlander who raises fine, sturdy steeds. Of course, once acquiring one, I'll want to go riding. And riding means a trip to the woods - which I've already promised two friends, so there's that. Perhaps I'll be blessed with a second gift in the form of a stray wolf cub. That would be better than a husband, by my standards, even if not at all useful in finding a mate for me.
Unless, of course, the wolf cub is found to be more charming than I - which is likely to be entirely the case.
May Petrichor bless me with a cub; and Limerance with success in finding a husband for myself, if not also for my cousins.
Gods, I hope Harlan doesn't read this. If you do: Cousin, please try to understand what I'm doing is for the family. I have a duty, and gods know I'm trying my damnedest to fulfill it. And I, as sure as Death's embrace will one day take me again, am not getting much help in this - beyond good Princess Reese, may she be blessed. And her protege, Anisha Whisper, Limerance bless her, too. Oh, and the Mercy, Sophie and her cousin Legate Bianca; bless them.
Sister: I still have no words for you; I'm sorry.
I doubt it, though. Are men so very intimidated by directness? Again, I'm shocked, finding this already several times to be the case. Olivia is certainly sure I'm the one who scared them off. But, if they're scared by me, how in Gloria's name are they ever going to protect /her/??!
I doubt I'll stop or slow, though I did take a break. But only because I was tired after so many people, after so much noise. After so much talking; I'm sure I talked more in the span of a few hours than I have talked to any in years.
I prefer the woods, and dogs. And horses, honestly; which - thank good Petrichor for at least one blessing - may be possible on account of Legate Bianca's protege, who promises to introduce me to an Oathlander who raises fine, sturdy steeds. Of course, once acquiring one, I'll want to go riding. And riding means a trip to the woods - which I've already promised two friends, so there's that. Perhaps I'll be blessed with a second gift in the form of a stray wolf cub. That would be better than a husband, by my standards, even if not at all useful in finding a mate for me.
Unless, of course, the wolf cub is found to be more charming than I - which is likely to be entirely the case.
May Petrichor bless me with a cub; and Limerance with success in finding a husband for myself, if not also for my cousins.
Gods, I hope Harlan doesn't read this. If you do: Cousin, please try to understand what I'm doing is for the family. I have a duty, and gods know I'm trying my damnedest to fulfill it. And I, as sure as Death's embrace will one day take me again, am not getting much help in this - beyond good Princess Reese, may she be blessed. And her protege, Anisha Whisper, Limerance bless her, too. Oh, and the Mercy, Sophie and her cousin Legate Bianca; bless them.
Sister: I still have no words for you; I'm sorry.
Written By Sunaia
Dec. 25, 2019, 11:16 a.m.(6/10/1012 AR)
It's been a while.
But, I'm back. It's nice to find that I am welcomed so easily by an old friend.
Oh, and I am looking to be married; will have to speak with Olivia and the Duke about it soon, as I don't know how many more childbearing years I have left.
Yes, I'm nervous. Somehow, more now than I was before.
But, I'm back. It's nice to find that I am welcomed so easily by an old friend.
Oh, and I am looking to be married; will have to speak with Olivia and the Duke about it soon, as I don't know how many more childbearing years I have left.
Yes, I'm nervous. Somehow, more now than I was before.
Written By Sunaia
Sept. 30, 2018, 4:18 p.m.(9/12/1009 AR)
Under advice that it's always better to have several irons in the fire, I have prevailed upon Prince Laric to allow me to join the Inquisition as an apprentice, an event which occurred upon my birthday. The ghosts of my ancestors haven't appeared to scream at me in warning and horror for this decision, so it must be the right one.
Written By Sunaia
Sept. 24, 2018, 6:56 p.m.(8/28/1009 AR)
I've a birthday approaching and thought to celebrate with a ride, a few hours stolen for myself with an old friend. East has been restless since the joust. I thought maybe it had reminded him what it was to be a young horse again or he was sulking because we placed next to last or grumpy with me that so much of my time is spent training now instead of wandering. Wishful thinking.
I found him ailing in the stables this morning with the grooms clustered around discussing what was to be done. There's precious little to remedy old age and a life spent on hard trails. He'll go soon, I think.
He's a good horse and has been my constant companion since I set out from Ashford with stars in my eyes all those years ago. Before that, I learned to ride on his back and he always looked out for me, to make sure I didn't break my fool neck. After, he kept me alive and carried me out of more trouble than I can recount with the ink I have on hand.
He's a good horse. I'm glad we had that last joust and he heard crowds cheering for him. He deserves the applause.
I found him ailing in the stables this morning with the grooms clustered around discussing what was to be done. There's precious little to remedy old age and a life spent on hard trails. He'll go soon, I think.
He's a good horse and has been my constant companion since I set out from Ashford with stars in my eyes all those years ago. Before that, I learned to ride on his back and he always looked out for me, to make sure I didn't break my fool neck. After, he kept me alive and carried me out of more trouble than I can recount with the ink I have on hand.
He's a good horse. I'm glad we had that last joust and he heard crowds cheering for him. He deserves the applause.
Written By Sunaia
Sept. 21, 2018, 5:19 p.m.(8/22/1009 AR)
An addendum to my previous white journal. I still have no intention to become entirely domesticated. But as it happens, being a field commander and committed to leading from the front ensures this isn't a risk. Food will always taste better cooked over an open fire and the smell of woodsmoke in one's hair is the finest perfume the world can offer.
Written By Sunaia
Sept. 21, 2018, 4:58 p.m.(8/22/1009 AR)
My days and nights have been spent drilling with my Rangers. Sometimes I look up and discover that whole weeks have gone by without any concern other than how to improve myself and the men and women who have been placed in my care. It was a far easier thing to plan for my own trips, my own travel, my own interests. On the road, there was only me to look after and I could do as whim and circumstances dictated. But now I am a commander and so I begin to learn what it is to live for others. To live and work and train so that when push comes to shove, they live. When I do sleep, my dreams concern themselves with what will happen if I fail... the blood they'll spill for my mistakes.
I thought the world was open to me when I pursued only my own will but now I see I overlooked... no, I missed seeing entirely so much that was right there to learn and discover. Responsibilities are roots and not the strangling vines they seemed to be when I was younger.
I thought the world was open to me when I pursued only my own will but now I see I overlooked... no, I missed seeing entirely so much that was right there to learn and discover. Responsibilities are roots and not the strangling vines they seemed to be when I was younger.
Written By Sunaia
Sept. 12, 2018, 8:53 p.m.(8/2/1009 AR)
My oldest brother was condemned a traitor for his attempt to kill the King. My older sister gave up her name and left our family to answer the call of the Faith; we haven't spoken in years. My older brother died a hero and an ideal. I'm all that's left of the children my parents bore. Those who went before me have cast long and complicated shadows. One day I hope to be able to smile again when people speak of siblings. Today the path ahead is still too dark for smiling. But their varied examples still guide me. What to strive for, what to avoid. It's a wide road between these extremes. I'm grateful to them for leaving me that much.
Written By Sunaia
Sept. 2, 2018, 9:08 p.m.(7/6/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Harlan
Thank you, cousin, for trusting me with these rangers. I promise to return them in better condition than I found them and will try not to lose any as we work to become the most elite of lightning attack armies.
Written By Sunaia
Sept. 1, 2018, 6:28 p.m.(7/4/1009 AR)
A very minor mystery: I do not drink for reasons I won't elaborate on here and yet I awakened the other morning feeling very much as if I'd gone toe to toe with a Thraxian in a rum-chugging contest. Being a wiser woman than that, for only the unwary or foolish challenge the Thrax in regards to rum, I can only surmise that someone else's hangover got lost while attempting to invade and happened to take up residence in my skull instead.
If you happen to have missed a deserved hangover recently, all I can say is... you're welcome.
Thankfully I found a very effective cure and am back to my usual self.
If you happen to have missed a deserved hangover recently, all I can say is... you're welcome.
Thankfully I found a very effective cure and am back to my usual self.
Written By Sunaia
Aug. 31, 2018, 6:40 p.m.(7/2/1009 AR)
I've been several times to look at Killian's statue in the Hall of Heroes. I wish there were a single word or phrase to capture how I feel, every time I look at it. If I could be just inspired, or feel my love for him, or my admiration and wonder at all he did... or even if I could just be sad looking at him. But every time, I'm all of those things, and many, many more that I don't have the words to express. It's a beautiful statue. He was a good brother. In centuries he'll be the perfect monument and ideal for those who come after. I wish it showed his smile, or that a monument could capture someone's voice because I miss hearing that. I was gone for so long, away from him and Arx, that I've started to forget the sound of him, and the little details were already beginning to fade due to inattention... how he carried himself, the faces he'd make when he tasted something he disliked, the exact thing he said when he hoisted me up onto his shoulders when I was so small so that I could see what it was like to be as tall as one of our trees.
When we walk away from someone we're always so confident that they'll be there when we return, so we can be reminded all over again of the details that make up everything we love about them. That's part of the joy of reuniting. But I walked away and when I came back, he wasn't there to remind me.
It is a good monument. But I fear that one day, looking at it, I'll know the man it represents as shallowly and inaccurately as future generations will, looking at it for the first time.
I really need to get busy. Nothing cures maudlin as well as having a project.
When we walk away from someone we're always so confident that they'll be there when we return, so we can be reminded all over again of the details that make up everything we love about them. That's part of the joy of reuniting. But I walked away and when I came back, he wasn't there to remind me.
It is a good monument. But I fear that one day, looking at it, I'll know the man it represents as shallowly and inaccurately as future generations will, looking at it for the first time.
I really need to get busy. Nothing cures maudlin as well as having a project.
Written By Sunaia
Aug. 26, 2018, 6:37 p.m.(6/20/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Perronne
A guided tour of nearby ruins with my noble friends? Really?
Just you wait, Mistress Relics.
Just you wait, Mistress Relics.
Written By Sunaia
Aug. 22, 2018, 8:22 p.m.(6/11/1009 AR)
Where in the Abyss did this clock tower come from? Scholar? No? You're no help.
Written By Sunaia
Aug. 20, 2018, 5:51 p.m.(6/7/1009 AR)
...the page is water-spotted and rippled from drying...
Home again. I haven’t unpacked, haven’t inventoried the maps and trinkets I picked up from my travels, haven’t even shaken the dust from my boots but I did horrify a groom by taking the bucket of water he’d brought for my trail-weary horse in order to pour it over my head. I have a raging sunburn and, in my weariness, thought it was for me.
He wouldn’t let me fetch a second bucket for the horse but he did graciously accept my apology.
Welcome home, Sunaia. Hello, family. I promise to make polishing up my noble airs a priority... after I get these maps sorted.
Home again. I haven’t unpacked, haven’t inventoried the maps and trinkets I picked up from my travels, haven’t even shaken the dust from my boots but I did horrify a groom by taking the bucket of water he’d brought for my trail-weary horse in order to pour it over my head. I have a raging sunburn and, in my weariness, thought it was for me.
He wouldn’t let me fetch a second bucket for the horse but he did graciously accept my apology.
Welcome home, Sunaia. Hello, family. I promise to make polishing up my noble airs a priority... after I get these maps sorted.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.