Written By Sparte
May 29, 2019, 10:50 a.m.(3/9/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Kenna
I figured out how to make a pillow for that. I'll send one over.
Written By Sparte
May 28, 2019, 11:37 a.m.(3/8/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Rinel
I've had the opportunity to witness the changes and growth in Rinel Tern over the years. Let me first say she is a fiery woman who has suffered greatly, and the flames have only been stoked by her experiences. She holds her beliefs close to her heart and is resolute in them, which is something that makes change difficult. When you are so sure of a thing as to make it a part of who you are, finding out it was flawed can be a hard thing to acknowledge.
Yet I've seen her doing just that. I know many have tried to snuff her fiery nature in an effort to teach humility and change, but that isn't what has helped her to change. If anything they have made her journey harder, because it is not in her nature to accept a heavy hand. In truth I believe many of those who have judged her most harshly would react much the same had the roles been reversed. People with strong opinions are destined to clash, and have for as long as we have recorded history. There are some extraordinarily entertaining journals between Lord Steel of the Metallic Order and a member of the court of Caer'alfar that highlight this.
Where Rinel's situation is different from so many others is that she speaks her mind without the authority to enforce her view of the world. She is a commoner through and through, with a lifetime of adversity and challenges behind her. Yet she speaks as an equal to those who do not see her as equal, she gives views that others believe are wrong with the sureness that there can seem to be no compromise. It leads to conflict, it leads to frustration, it leads to dismissal.
Yet she does grow, just differently. Not through punishment, but through self-realization. Not through condemnation, but through direction. She still stumbles. She is full of imperfections as are we all, but the fire that is within her is not one of them. It is a credit to her strength of will and passion, a thing to be tempered rather than snuffed. I believe that Rinel's road is still a difficult one, and I believe her nature will make it far harder before the end of her days. Make no mistake of that. Yet I also believe she is a person of deep value. If her flame continues to survive the challenges she creates for herself, if the parts that hold her back burn away without consuming the rest of her, then one day she will become a beacon. I look forward to that day, and I will continue to help her strive towards it.
So with that preface I give Rinel this piece of advice: Speaking up without being called upon at any gathering of a noble house isn't a credit to your fiery passion. It is a request to have your ears boxed and potentially put on display. If you question a choice, question it politely. If you disagree outright, make it known in writing or in private afterwards. Some will reject what is shared outright, and you will just have to live with that. Those who you might convince still will not tolerate being made to look bad in their own house, and you will accomplish nothing but more hardship.
Yet I've seen her doing just that. I know many have tried to snuff her fiery nature in an effort to teach humility and change, but that isn't what has helped her to change. If anything they have made her journey harder, because it is not in her nature to accept a heavy hand. In truth I believe many of those who have judged her most harshly would react much the same had the roles been reversed. People with strong opinions are destined to clash, and have for as long as we have recorded history. There are some extraordinarily entertaining journals between Lord Steel of the Metallic Order and a member of the court of Caer'alfar that highlight this.
Where Rinel's situation is different from so many others is that she speaks her mind without the authority to enforce her view of the world. She is a commoner through and through, with a lifetime of adversity and challenges behind her. Yet she speaks as an equal to those who do not see her as equal, she gives views that others believe are wrong with the sureness that there can seem to be no compromise. It leads to conflict, it leads to frustration, it leads to dismissal.
Yet she does grow, just differently. Not through punishment, but through self-realization. Not through condemnation, but through direction. She still stumbles. She is full of imperfections as are we all, but the fire that is within her is not one of them. It is a credit to her strength of will and passion, a thing to be tempered rather than snuffed. I believe that Rinel's road is still a difficult one, and I believe her nature will make it far harder before the end of her days. Make no mistake of that. Yet I also believe she is a person of deep value. If her flame continues to survive the challenges she creates for herself, if the parts that hold her back burn away without consuming the rest of her, then one day she will become a beacon. I look forward to that day, and I will continue to help her strive towards it.
So with that preface I give Rinel this piece of advice: Speaking up without being called upon at any gathering of a noble house isn't a credit to your fiery passion. It is a request to have your ears boxed and potentially put on display. If you question a choice, question it politely. If you disagree outright, make it known in writing or in private afterwards. Some will reject what is shared outright, and you will just have to live with that. Those who you might convince still will not tolerate being made to look bad in their own house, and you will accomplish nothing but more hardship.
Written By Sparte
May 28, 2019, 9:45 a.m.(3/7/1011 AR)
Growth. We're all familiar with the concept. People are sometimes divided on whether they want to grow, whether they deserve to grow, but all of us have experienced growth at some point in their lives where they could recognize it for what it was. Often when we look back on ourselves far enough back, be it a month or a year, we can see the changes in ourselves that we would associate with growth.
So with all of that having been said, I acknowledge that growth is a critical and important part of realizing ourselves.
Yet being reminded by someone who was waist high when the Silent War started that it ended five years ago has reminded me of another staple of growth. Eventually, we get old. Today I feel ancient. Five years at war, and so many around me have been at it far, far longer.
So with all of that having been said, I acknowledge that growth is a critical and important part of realizing ourselves.
Yet being reminded by someone who was waist high when the Silent War started that it ended five years ago has reminded me of another staple of growth. Eventually, we get old. Today I feel ancient. Five years at war, and so many around me have been at it far, far longer.
Written By Sparte
May 23, 2019, 5:04 p.m.(2/26/1011 AR)
I expected an establishment caled the Murder of Crows to be more crowded.
Wilhelm tried to stop me from saying that one. He failed.
Wilhelm tried to stop me from saying that one. He failed.
Written By Sparte
May 23, 2019, 9:34 a.m.(2/25/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Rysen
I admit that when I received the invitation from Lord Rysen, I was nervous. I felt as though his words put me at a higher standing than I deserved, and I had no idea what to expect from the evening.
Then the evening happened, and I realized I had been worrying for nothing.
Lord Rysen was an excellent host and the opportunity for conversation he created will aid a great many people. I am both deeply impressed and humbled to have been a part.
Then the evening happened, and I realized I had been worrying for nothing.
Lord Rysen was an excellent host and the opportunity for conversation he created will aid a great many people. I am both deeply impressed and humbled to have been a part.
Written By Sparte
May 22, 2019, 9:46 a.m.(2/23/1011 AR)
At times when we think of who to collaborate with on projects the question we're tempted to ask ourselves is what they will do to help the project. What do they bring to the table.
I recently had someone do that in my presence, essentially asking how another person could be 'used' to further a goal. It is a common temptation, to look to our personal success first and foremost.
Yet to hear it put such a way sat ill with me. I know that instead asking who will be helped by involvement will, at times, mean bringing in those who do not contribute to the success of a project. It may even be a detriment to your goals to involve them, at least on the face of things.
So I sit, I clear my mind, I ask myself why I have the projects and goals that I do. Are they purely for my own benefit? I don't think they are. I believe very few people actively think only of themselves when they lay out their ambitions and their dreams. They may include themselves in the beneficiaries, but to be the sole one to benefit is something else entirely.
So why then, when we work towards our goals, do we find it so easy to disassociate mutual benefit from individual tasks?
'I' want to help the people of my fealty. The personal desire to do something for more than oneself.
'I' want 'my' project to succeed at all cost. The shedding of concern for others in realizing a goal meant to help others.
I don't know where in the faith questions like this would fall. Even if we exploit others in the short term the full of the effort will, potentially, benefit others. Yet it feels like a tainted victory to think in such terms. To justify selfishness is to legitimize it, and no matter how many ways I look at this that leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
I recently had someone do that in my presence, essentially asking how another person could be 'used' to further a goal. It is a common temptation, to look to our personal success first and foremost.
Yet to hear it put such a way sat ill with me. I know that instead asking who will be helped by involvement will, at times, mean bringing in those who do not contribute to the success of a project. It may even be a detriment to your goals to involve them, at least on the face of things.
So I sit, I clear my mind, I ask myself why I have the projects and goals that I do. Are they purely for my own benefit? I don't think they are. I believe very few people actively think only of themselves when they lay out their ambitions and their dreams. They may include themselves in the beneficiaries, but to be the sole one to benefit is something else entirely.
So why then, when we work towards our goals, do we find it so easy to disassociate mutual benefit from individual tasks?
'I' want to help the people of my fealty. The personal desire to do something for more than oneself.
'I' want 'my' project to succeed at all cost. The shedding of concern for others in realizing a goal meant to help others.
I don't know where in the faith questions like this would fall. Even if we exploit others in the short term the full of the effort will, potentially, benefit others. Yet it feels like a tainted victory to think in such terms. To justify selfishness is to legitimize it, and no matter how many ways I look at this that leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
Written By Sparte
May 20, 2019, 10:02 a.m.(2/19/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Galen
I find the untraditional methods tend to be more memorable.
People may gripe about them or laugh, but at the end of the day the students remember the lessons more clearly. They stand out for having been the unexpected, and that extra time spent thinking about what they did inevitably brings more focus and understanding to how they did it.
People could just take me at my word for that, but I suspect the number of master swordsmen in Arx who get a distant haunted look when you bring up potatoes rather says it all.
People may gripe about them or laugh, but at the end of the day the students remember the lessons more clearly. They stand out for having been the unexpected, and that extra time spent thinking about what they did inevitably brings more focus and understanding to how they did it.
People could just take me at my word for that, but I suspect the number of master swordsmen in Arx who get a distant haunted look when you bring up potatoes rather says it all.
Written By Sparte
May 17, 2019, 7:42 p.m.(2/14/1011 AR)
I just tried adding coffee to hot chocolate for the first time and it was AMAZING! Why did nobody say anything about this being so amazing? I feel like I could write for hours!
Written By Sparte
May 16, 2019, 10:23 a.m.(2/11/1011 AR)
I thank all within the Faith of the Pantheon for the opportunity to return to the grace of the Faith. I want to thank Legate Aureth and Archscholar Sina in particular, for taking the time to speak with me and help me to understand both the full burden of my choices and to see my path forward more clearly.
Written By Sparte
May 13, 2019, 12:47 p.m.(2/6/1011 AR)
Yes, I know I'm a redhead. I didn't miss the event because I forgot what color my hair was. I didn't avoid the event on purpose, I was just busy. Really.
Written By Sparte
May 13, 2019, 11:18 a.m.(2/5/1011 AR)
A study of Loyalty, Duty, and Obedience
May this study bring me greater understanding
Written in Penance, Sparte Grayfellow
(The remains of this journal entry are a complicated and occasionally conficting series of notes on what the three concepts mean in relation to the worship of Limerance, making reference to the Laws of Limerance, the prayers associated with Limerance, occasionally to overlapping tenants of Gloria, and recent relevant sermons by the faithful that were recorded. There is no conclusion beyond the three being distinct. The notes are a collection for study and comparison in a hurried hand rather than a determination - something that could perhaps be refined given more time)
May this study bring me greater understanding
Written in Penance, Sparte Grayfellow
(The remains of this journal entry are a complicated and occasionally conficting series of notes on what the three concepts mean in relation to the worship of Limerance, making reference to the Laws of Limerance, the prayers associated with Limerance, occasionally to overlapping tenants of Gloria, and recent relevant sermons by the faithful that were recorded. There is no conclusion beyond the three being distinct. The notes are a collection for study and comparison in a hurried hand rather than a determination - something that could perhaps be refined given more time)
Written By Sparte
May 11, 2019, 9:27 a.m.(2/1/1011 AR)
I can believe I ate that. I wasn't prepared to eat that.
Written By Sparte
May 3, 2019, 8:37 p.m.(1/14/1011 AR)
My tasks are finally, after what feels as though it were a journey itself, written. Now I must undertake them.
Written By Sparte
April 29, 2019, 2:55 p.m.(1/6/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Katarina
The struggle on when to share a truth that has been hidden is a difficult one. I can only share how I would look at the situation were it my own.
Is this truth one I know in confidence?
If because the truth is hidden a lie is being celebrated, then will this truth prevents people being deceived?
If there is no lie to be disproven with this truth, if this truth stands alone, what does sharing it serve? What does not sharing it serve?
Perhaps you've already asked yourself these questions. I trust in your wisdom to determine your own answers and weigh them fairly.
Is this truth one I know in confidence?
If because the truth is hidden a lie is being celebrated, then will this truth prevents people being deceived?
If there is no lie to be disproven with this truth, if this truth stands alone, what does sharing it serve? What does not sharing it serve?
Perhaps you've already asked yourself these questions. I trust in your wisdom to determine your own answers and weigh them fairly.
Written By Sparte
April 29, 2019, 2:04 p.m.(1/6/1011 AR)
The scope of the project I've taken on has made me realize something about myself.
No matter how many times I bring people together, I want them to come together by their own choice. If I have to force someone to be there then I shouldn't be doing whatever I am doing. I can encourage them, I can convince them with reason and stories and by sharing the visions of myself and others. The second they're told they have to do it the whole of it is ruined to me.
Unfortunately, there are times people will agree to do work and then shirk it. Make excuses for their lack of follow through and commitment while insisting it will still be done and they want to do it. Generally these are times there is coin or a contract involved.
When I no longer have the flexibility to simply go somewhere else, I'm forced to try to get people to deliver on their promises and obligations. This. This experience, this situation, fatigues me more than any physical duty I could be given. It fills me with a frustration I have rarely ever felt in anything else in my life.
Perhaps I am simply not an effective leader or organizer, and that is why this comes up, and why it always feels like running neck deep in mud in order to get through it. Or perhaps I just need to learn how to recognize these behaviors in people sooner, so I can hire someone else.
No matter how many times I bring people together, I want them to come together by their own choice. If I have to force someone to be there then I shouldn't be doing whatever I am doing. I can encourage them, I can convince them with reason and stories and by sharing the visions of myself and others. The second they're told they have to do it the whole of it is ruined to me.
Unfortunately, there are times people will agree to do work and then shirk it. Make excuses for their lack of follow through and commitment while insisting it will still be done and they want to do it. Generally these are times there is coin or a contract involved.
When I no longer have the flexibility to simply go somewhere else, I'm forced to try to get people to deliver on their promises and obligations. This. This experience, this situation, fatigues me more than any physical duty I could be given. It fills me with a frustration I have rarely ever felt in anything else in my life.
Perhaps I am simply not an effective leader or organizer, and that is why this comes up, and why it always feels like running neck deep in mud in order to get through it. Or perhaps I just need to learn how to recognize these behaviors in people sooner, so I can hire someone else.
Written By Sparte
April 22, 2019, 6:31 p.m.(12/20/1010 AR)
Scholar Grimkin wrote things I found detestable. His views were so distant from my own that I cannot accurately measure that distance.
I know there is a weight upon my shoulders for my past actions. I say this regardless.
Scholar Grimkin's death was not just. It was murder. Those who killed Scholar Grimkin are criminals, and will be treated as such when found.
I know there is a weight upon my shoulders for my past actions. I say this regardless.
Scholar Grimkin's death was not just. It was murder. Those who killed Scholar Grimkin are criminals, and will be treated as such when found.
Written By Sparte
April 21, 2019, 11:07 p.m.(12/18/1010 AR)
What do roads and city walls mean to me. I was asked this, here are my answers.
Roads are connections. They're the reminder that we arn't alone. That there are others out there, and they are not so distant that we need be strangers to them. Roads are the promise of someplace waiting on the horizon when we need to go, and a reminder that others travel, for no road is built for only one of us.
City walls are a promise of protection, a promise that we will stand. It means more to me now, as an Iron Guardsman, than city walls meant to me as a boy on a farm. Then they meant only something distant and strange, something wondrous and intimidating. I can see how those same walls may mean that to those who have never been inside them, and worse to those who are not welcome. Yet I know that walls are why humanity yet stands. This city has two walls, one of stone, and one of iron.
Roads are connections. They're the reminder that we arn't alone. That there are others out there, and they are not so distant that we need be strangers to them. Roads are the promise of someplace waiting on the horizon when we need to go, and a reminder that others travel, for no road is built for only one of us.
City walls are a promise of protection, a promise that we will stand. It means more to me now, as an Iron Guardsman, than city walls meant to me as a boy on a farm. Then they meant only something distant and strange, something wondrous and intimidating. I can see how those same walls may mean that to those who have never been inside them, and worse to those who are not welcome. Yet I know that walls are why humanity yet stands. This city has two walls, one of stone, and one of iron.
Written By Sparte
April 19, 2019, 9:19 p.m.(12/14/1010 AR)
I don't know what to think of the circumstances of his death. I fought alongside Prince Luca. I bled with him, we laughed in the face of the same danger. I am at a loss for words for how you passed, but there is a sort of grim humor to it. He died doing something unbelievable, I expect he is proud of that. I hope we fight side by side again in another turn of the wheel.
Written By Sparte
April 18, 2019, 11:46 a.m.(12/12/1010 AR)
I've learned today that what I always called baby freckles other people call birthmarks.
Written By Sparte
April 12, 2019, noon(11/28/1010 AR)
I nearly tripped over a turtle messenger today walking down the hall at the barracks. I've really no idea who they were delivering something to, but I removed the message and gave it to a proper messenger. The turtle was put back outside. The turtle is lucky it was me and not some guardsman in full plate not looking where he stepped.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.