Written By Natalia
Nov. 20, 2016, 4:54 p.m.(3/4/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Dagon
The more time I spend with the man, the more I see sides of him that I did not before. This is not a bad thing. I find myself enjoying his presence and sometimes seeking his insight. I am sure from here, my respect can only grow.
Written By Natalia
Nov. 20, 2016, 4:49 p.m.(3/4/1005 AR)
Altruistic
This word has been playing upon my mind recently. I am turning it around in my head. Some will say that there is not a true altruistic act. That even in charity one receives the good feelings that stops it from being selfless.
In my time in the city I have thrown galas and parties. I know that to some it seems like a flighty move on my part. A princess with no concern but partying, but I feel that there should be something to rejoice. Something to remind people that life is meant to be enjoyed. To be savored. We have but one of them.
I have attempted to meet with everyone for teas. It is an urge to learn what composes a person and perhaps allow it to in turn affect me. A friendly face perhaps. A learned and shared connection that would not have been realized.
I have assisted in a purchase of a shop to ensure the livelihood of a person. I have clothed people that had no funds to do so. I have checked to see if families, even outside my own ward, needed help or assistance.
Even through this, I find myself questioning. Is it that I was doing this to feel better? Is it that I was doing this to help? I have not always made the best decisions and I would admit that. I am not skilled for war. I do not understand the military tactics that others than me grasp with alarming clarity. It leaves me uncertain how to help the city, the people and those that I come in contact with.
It is not that I am flighty, at least, I hope I am not viewed as such. It is more I am trying to help, but uncertain where I fit in to do so. I have sought those I trust in times of conflict to help me to find resolution. It has not always been a good turn out. I have slowly started filtering who I can trust and it makes me in turn wonder if I am trustworthy.
How does one become trustworthy? For do we all not think we are doing the right thing, even when we are not? It is just after all is revealed that we can see the error. That error is not shown to us if we continue to stride in half-truths and shadowed deceptions. It is hard to know where to step when the light is shone only where you are standing and people are hinting what direction to go without clarity.
So I wonder what makes a person a good person? Is it the acts that they perform when the eyes are upon them? Or is it the acts that they do without a public display? Does it make you good to clothe those that do not have the means, or is that a silly notion in times of war? As well what do you do when you are not suited for war but support those that are, yet in that support it is shadowed and thus not seen? So then do you appear disinterested and that you do not care?
Some days I find myself with more questions than I have answers. I think this day is one of those.
This word has been playing upon my mind recently. I am turning it around in my head. Some will say that there is not a true altruistic act. That even in charity one receives the good feelings that stops it from being selfless.
In my time in the city I have thrown galas and parties. I know that to some it seems like a flighty move on my part. A princess with no concern but partying, but I feel that there should be something to rejoice. Something to remind people that life is meant to be enjoyed. To be savored. We have but one of them.
I have attempted to meet with everyone for teas. It is an urge to learn what composes a person and perhaps allow it to in turn affect me. A friendly face perhaps. A learned and shared connection that would not have been realized.
I have assisted in a purchase of a shop to ensure the livelihood of a person. I have clothed people that had no funds to do so. I have checked to see if families, even outside my own ward, needed help or assistance.
Even through this, I find myself questioning. Is it that I was doing this to feel better? Is it that I was doing this to help? I have not always made the best decisions and I would admit that. I am not skilled for war. I do not understand the military tactics that others than me grasp with alarming clarity. It leaves me uncertain how to help the city, the people and those that I come in contact with.
It is not that I am flighty, at least, I hope I am not viewed as such. It is more I am trying to help, but uncertain where I fit in to do so. I have sought those I trust in times of conflict to help me to find resolution. It has not always been a good turn out. I have slowly started filtering who I can trust and it makes me in turn wonder if I am trustworthy.
How does one become trustworthy? For do we all not think we are doing the right thing, even when we are not? It is just after all is revealed that we can see the error. That error is not shown to us if we continue to stride in half-truths and shadowed deceptions. It is hard to know where to step when the light is shone only where you are standing and people are hinting what direction to go without clarity.
So I wonder what makes a person a good person? Is it the acts that they perform when the eyes are upon them? Or is it the acts that they do without a public display? Does it make you good to clothe those that do not have the means, or is that a silly notion in times of war? As well what do you do when you are not suited for war but support those that are, yet in that support it is shadowed and thus not seen? So then do you appear disinterested and that you do not care?
Some days I find myself with more questions than I have answers. I think this day is one of those.
Written By Natalia
Nov. 16, 2016, 6:36 p.m.(2/20/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Victus
Victus is surely a man of strength and of Thrax. Such a display is in his ways of communication and his life.
Do you know he told me that he earned his name by skills alone? That is a lovely thing to accomplish and work for.
I am sure that the people of Thrax appreciate him. I wish him only the best on the path he has decided to walk for the reasons he knows.
Do you know he told me that he earned his name by skills alone? That is a lovely thing to accomplish and work for.
I am sure that the people of Thrax appreciate him. I wish him only the best on the path he has decided to walk for the reasons he knows.
Written By Natalia
Nov. 13, 2016, 7:44 p.m.(2/11/1005 AR)
The public drinking was rather well received. It was not about title or properness. It was just free drink. We played a game of Never and I had them spin to put ribbons on a target after a shot of rotgut. I feel a little bad for Lord Pietro though. Perhaps he should not drink the shots. Then we played shots.
It came down to two Redrains (of course) and a Malvici. Freja won with the 6,000 silver price. I think it was a needed break from all that has been happening. I was glad to hear the laughter.
It came down to two Redrains (of course) and a Malvici. Freja won with the 6,000 silver price. I think it was a needed break from all that has been happening. I was glad to hear the laughter.
Written By Natalia
Nov. 11, 2016, 5:57 p.m.(2/5/1005 AR)
And all at once we were no more
Slipping through each others fingertips
We were now at odds on distance shores
Because of broken whispers on liars lips
We were once stronger than steel
A bond that would never truly break
Now I find that it was never real
And suffer for that trusting mistake
The lines have been drawn in wayward sand
While we work against the steady stream
We are now forever divided to different lands
While the past becomes but a dream
So I will redefine you, dearest, in my life
And you will continue to hit me with your lies
My head will remain up through this strife
Because this is truly the last of goodbyes
Slipping through each others fingertips
We were now at odds on distance shores
Because of broken whispers on liars lips
We were once stronger than steel
A bond that would never truly break
Now I find that it was never real
And suffer for that trusting mistake
The lines have been drawn in wayward sand
While we work against the steady stream
We are now forever divided to different lands
While the past becomes but a dream
So I will redefine you, dearest, in my life
And you will continue to hit me with your lies
My head will remain up through this strife
Because this is truly the last of goodbyes
Written By Natalia
Nov. 10, 2016, 11:18 a.m.(2/1/1005 AR)
Last night was interesting to say the least. There was a duel during dinner and I commend the winner, but there are also questions that linger on my mind as I go into a new day.
Is a horse truly meant to be tamed? Is there really only hope for it, if it can be broken to it's owner or is there beauty in allowing it and seeing it for what it is before the restraints drive the spirit from it?
As well, how much does it mean anymore to give one's word? I have taken the respect given to me and if I give my word to something, I try my hardest to honor it. This is not always easy. It is not always fair, but who would I be if I went back on my word? What would that make me appear to be, even to the one I broke my word for? There are so many illusions and I am trying to sort through them and plan what is best, but I find roadblocks every turn. I find that when I allow my trust, I should not.
I adore the people of Arx. I have enjoyed meeting them and laughing with them and in some points feeling their sorrows. However, I am still at a loss on who to really trust. I suppose that is an issue for many of us. However, I have now found two that were not true to their word and true to the trust. One hurt my feelings, but one shattered something else. Something I am still at a loss on how to wrap my mind around.
It seems people and things have changed and I must accept this new information and move forward.
Winter has longer shadows.
Is a horse truly meant to be tamed? Is there really only hope for it, if it can be broken to it's owner or is there beauty in allowing it and seeing it for what it is before the restraints drive the spirit from it?
As well, how much does it mean anymore to give one's word? I have taken the respect given to me and if I give my word to something, I try my hardest to honor it. This is not always easy. It is not always fair, but who would I be if I went back on my word? What would that make me appear to be, even to the one I broke my word for? There are so many illusions and I am trying to sort through them and plan what is best, but I find roadblocks every turn. I find that when I allow my trust, I should not.
I adore the people of Arx. I have enjoyed meeting them and laughing with them and in some points feeling their sorrows. However, I am still at a loss on who to really trust. I suppose that is an issue for many of us. However, I have now found two that were not true to their word and true to the trust. One hurt my feelings, but one shattered something else. Something I am still at a loss on how to wrap my mind around.
It seems people and things have changed and I must accept this new information and move forward.
Winter has longer shadows.
Written By Natalia
Nov. 8, 2016, 10 p.m.(1/24/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Kenemir
This shall be a wonderful working relationship.
Written By Natalia
Nov. 8, 2016, 8:04 p.m.(1/24/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Theodoric
We shall talk more about living in the moment.
Written By Natalia
Nov. 8, 2016, 2:58 a.m.(1/22/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Serafine
She is a woman that is sure of who she is. I can appreciate that. As well, flattery gets you everywhere.
Written By Natalia
Nov. 8, 2016, 1:44 a.m.(1/22/1005 AR)
I find myself drawn to Alaric more and more each day. It is not that I fear for him exactly, it is just I keep hoping he will wake up.
I keep hoping he will open his eyes and tell me how lovely and tight my dress is or drop a quill for one of the women to pick up. I'm still reading to him and telling him about the events of the days.
Sometimes, I just wish he could tell me something.
I keep hoping he will open his eyes and tell me how lovely and tight my dress is or drop a quill for one of the women to pick up. I'm still reading to him and telling him about the events of the days.
Sometimes, I just wish he could tell me something.
Written By Natalia
Nov. 7, 2016, 5:33 p.m.(1/21/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Audric
We played a game, did we not? I am not sure that either of us turned out as victors.
Written By Natalia
Nov. 7, 2016, 3:08 p.m.(1/20/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Duncan
It took two missives to get the Marquis to respond. The third one I was going to dictate that the messenger pout when delivering it.
He is an interesting man with casual business as well as a more formal feel to it. I look forward to another tea.
He is an interesting man with casual business as well as a more formal feel to it. I look forward to another tea.
Written By Natalia
Nov. 7, 2016, 2:34 a.m.(1/19/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Jovarn
An interesting man with an interesting story. While it is not mine to tell, I do look forward to taking more tea with him. Perhaps we will cultivate a friendship.
Written By Natalia
Nov. 6, 2016, 8:27 p.m.(1/18/1005 AR)
I must admit and I do not mind saying this about myself. I thought the gala went off splendidly. Everyone was receptive and a few got a little too into the spirit (I'm talking about you Lady of Scandal). However, it was great.
I have just sent out the favors for the party. I do hope that they are liked and appreciated. As well as I am already onto my next planned gala with Princess Sophie.
I do have the drinking night, but that is really just free drinks. Maybe I should find a person to play a game or I should look into it.
I have just sent out the favors for the party. I do hope that they are liked and appreciated. As well as I am already onto my next planned gala with Princess Sophie.
I do have the drinking night, but that is really just free drinks. Maybe I should find a person to play a game or I should look into it.
Written By Natalia
Nov. 5, 2016, 8:38 a.m.(1/13/1005 AR)
Perhaps we should make sheared hair a fashion statement. It seems to be going around now.
Written By Natalia
Nov. 4, 2016, 6:19 a.m.(1/10/1005 AR)
Shopping trip two well sort of three.
Laric liked his outfit and I was pleased that others asked me to help design theirs. I do hope that they like them.
It is sometimes hard to shop for other people. Sabella wanted yellow. It occurs to me that I do not have a yellow outfit. Perhaps I should change this. The other one I spent more time picking just the right colors. I do hope she likes it.
I know that people find me rather vapid about such things, but if you make a person feel good about themselves. They remember.
Laric liked his outfit and I was pleased that others asked me to help design theirs. I do hope that they like them.
It is sometimes hard to shop for other people. Sabella wanted yellow. It occurs to me that I do not have a yellow outfit. Perhaps I should change this. The other one I spent more time picking just the right colors. I do hope she likes it.
I know that people find me rather vapid about such things, but if you make a person feel good about themselves. They remember.
Written By Natalia
Nov. 4, 2016, 3:05 a.m.(1/10/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Sabella
My cousin has returned back to the social obligations of the peerage. It was a wonderful visit. She reminds me a lot of myself, which is never bad.
We talked on fashion and parties and of course men. Such is the life of nobility. I am glad that she is back around.
We talked on fashion and parties and of course men. Such is the life of nobility. I am glad that she is back around.
Written By Natalia
Nov. 3, 2016, 7:33 a.m.(1/7/1005 AR)
It has been a rather long night as it stretches on to morning. I will be happy that it has not come with ill tidings.
I got to meet the Count of Darkwater. I cannot say the first impression was a good one, but I will give him another shot at it.
There were just so many wonderful messages that I felt I should see to business. All in all I would say it was a successful day.
I got to meet the Count of Darkwater. I cannot say the first impression was a good one, but I will give him another shot at it.
There were just so many wonderful messages that I felt I should see to business. All in all I would say it was a successful day.
Written By Natalia
Nov. 3, 2016, 4:10 a.m.(1/7/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Laric
He better realize he owes me. I know that everyone talks about how it's not that important to shop and wear clothing that is just right.
I spent ALL NIGHT shopping and designing and rushing people to create Laric's items. Dagon is surely mocking my insistence that shopping is hard. Sometimes it is like war getting the right shade and the right design.
Laric better like it. I better be his favorite cousin now.
I spent ALL NIGHT shopping and designing and rushing people to create Laric's items. Dagon is surely mocking my insistence that shopping is hard. Sometimes it is like war getting the right shade and the right design.
Laric better like it. I better be his favorite cousin now.
Written By Natalia
Nov. 1, 2016, 3:12 p.m.(1/2/1005 AR)
My head hurts but not as much as much as my trust. It was bound to happen, I had just wished to hold it off a little longer. There was bound to be a moment that someone got under my defenses and ended up hurting me.
This one came with a flaming warning sign and I dismissed it. Or perhaps I thought tact would have been engaged. That was too much to ask for, one supposes.
The other one was not dear to my heart, but was starting to get there. Surprisingly . However, I forgot for a moment that this city is a politics and politics are what matters; not the feelings of a princess.
I have found that I can handle being angry or a break in etiquette that finds me insulted far better. This feeling now, I dislike. So dearest reader (I suppose this means Augustus), let it be a reminder. Just because a person speaks on their honesty, does not mean they are good people.
Also, I have a hazy recollection of last night, but there was spinning and messengers.
This one came with a flaming warning sign and I dismissed it. Or perhaps I thought tact would have been engaged. That was too much to ask for, one supposes.
The other one was not dear to my heart, but was starting to get there. Surprisingly . However, I forgot for a moment that this city is a politics and politics are what matters; not the feelings of a princess.
I have found that I can handle being angry or a break in etiquette that finds me insulted far better. This feeling now, I dislike. So dearest reader (I suppose this means Augustus), let it be a reminder. Just because a person speaks on their honesty, does not mean they are good people.
Also, I have a hazy recollection of last night, but there was spinning and messengers.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.