Written By Iseulet
Sept. 9, 2020, 5:30 p.m.(12/28/1013 AR)
Relationship Note on Haakon
Don't let him fool you, he gives the best gifts. Such a darling.
Written By Iseulet
Aug. 27, 2020, 11:40 a.m.(12/1/1013 AR)
Taking care of these somewhat adorable parasites and the mother beast makes me realize just how much I want a family of my own. A child.
Written By Iseulet
Aug. 27, 2020, 7:10 a.m.(12/1/1013 AR)
Fine, I will admit it. Yes, Scholar, I had to buy new sheets today. The old ones were sticky.
It's not what you think, Scholar. Let me explain.
I thought it was a stray cat at first - maybe a little bit overweight and slightly malformed. It's nose was too big and its ears too small. Had maybe been in some kind of accident as its tail was missing all of its hair. Poor creature! I thought. But it was so darling, once you could get over the stench of... trash tuna? Yes distinctly tuna that had been left out in the garbage for days.
So I took it in, and then I cleaned it up. (No the smell didn't go away). It looked very morose actually, with its somehow big but beady eyes.
I retired to bed with my night cap and a good, steamy book about pastry and then it jumped up into bed with me with all the rest of the cats.
And then it rolled over for a tummy rub and idly I reached over to acquiesce, finding the fur stiff and wiry - slightly oily not unlike that of a hound, but on the stomach smooth and soft.
But then.
From a horrific yawning maw in its stomach I felt pour forth fleshy, wriggling, warm life forms. In my panic, my somewhat extravagant and eccentric imagination yielded to me pictures of octopus kittens and fuzzy snakes with clawed feet and nibbly sharp jowls. A pulpy, amorphous tentacled mass, unknowable and truly horrific - a caricature of the sleek and knowable form of a cat. Instinct with fearsome and unnatural malignancy It was not truly unfaithful to the spirit of the mass, as I would come to find out, as when I looked down and shrieked I would realize that in all of my doting affection I had adopted (or had been adopted by)... a possum.
I watched in horror by lantern light as the writhing, wriggling, corpulent mass took form and as I caught sight of each little snoot. 1... 2.... 3... I counted for what seemed like an hour, over and over as each little mouth, when I came close, would hiss and sometimes snap until they got the feel of me.
Twenty.
Twenty little baby possums had ventured forth from the maw and attached themselves parasitically to the creature's spine and head using their tiny claws to wind and twist and tangle their way into the hair of the mother-beast, clinging.
And that, scholar, is why I've had to buy new sheets. The old ones were sticky from the hot toddy I poured all over myself and my blankets during the shocking events.
It's not what you think, Scholar. Let me explain.
I thought it was a stray cat at first - maybe a little bit overweight and slightly malformed. It's nose was too big and its ears too small. Had maybe been in some kind of accident as its tail was missing all of its hair. Poor creature! I thought. But it was so darling, once you could get over the stench of... trash tuna? Yes distinctly tuna that had been left out in the garbage for days.
So I took it in, and then I cleaned it up. (No the smell didn't go away). It looked very morose actually, with its somehow big but beady eyes.
I retired to bed with my night cap and a good, steamy book about pastry and then it jumped up into bed with me with all the rest of the cats.
And then it rolled over for a tummy rub and idly I reached over to acquiesce, finding the fur stiff and wiry - slightly oily not unlike that of a hound, but on the stomach smooth and soft.
But then.
From a horrific yawning maw in its stomach I felt pour forth fleshy, wriggling, warm life forms. In my panic, my somewhat extravagant and eccentric imagination yielded to me pictures of octopus kittens and fuzzy snakes with clawed feet and nibbly sharp jowls. A pulpy, amorphous tentacled mass, unknowable and truly horrific - a caricature of the sleek and knowable form of a cat. Instinct with fearsome and unnatural malignancy It was not truly unfaithful to the spirit of the mass, as I would come to find out, as when I looked down and shrieked I would realize that in all of my doting affection I had adopted (or had been adopted by)... a possum.
I watched in horror by lantern light as the writhing, wriggling, corpulent mass took form and as I caught sight of each little snoot. 1... 2.... 3... I counted for what seemed like an hour, over and over as each little mouth, when I came close, would hiss and sometimes snap until they got the feel of me.
Twenty.
Twenty little baby possums had ventured forth from the maw and attached themselves parasitically to the creature's spine and head using their tiny claws to wind and twist and tangle their way into the hair of the mother-beast, clinging.
And that, scholar, is why I've had to buy new sheets. The old ones were sticky from the hot toddy I poured all over myself and my blankets during the shocking events.
Written By Iseulet
Aug. 4, 2020, 12:03 p.m.(10/12/1013 AR)
We made it back from Estroch in one piece, despite some very good attempts to the contrary. My compliments to the efforts.
Now, for some gift giving.
I think the next trip might be more pleasant.
Now, for some gift giving.
I think the next trip might be more pleasant.
Written By Iseulet
July 1, 2020, 4:27 p.m.(7/28/1013 AR)
Relationship Note on Haakon
When a mommy Gildorian and a daddy Gildorian love each other very much.....
Written By Iseulet
June 25, 2020, 11:42 a.m.(7/16/1013 AR)
Addendum to Will:
All of my cats to pass to Prince Sirius.
It is my wish that all 49 of my cats live with him. Please gather them from their various places and place them in his room. Remember, Scholar, he likes the windows shut.
All of my cats to pass to Prince Sirius.
It is my wish that all 49 of my cats live with him. Please gather them from their various places and place them in his room. Remember, Scholar, he likes the windows shut.
Written By Iseulet
June 24, 2020, 8:27 a.m.(7/13/1013 AR)
Relationship Note on Sirius
He'd better not 'lose' that dog I gave him.
Though some puppy training might go a long way as he's just full of "surprises". (Poop. He's full of poop).
He's a joy, no really. Sirius already loves him I'm certain of it.
Courvoisier has taken a shine to the little terror-ier and protects him fiercely with tooth and claw. Hides under Sirius' bed to tag him when he tries to fish Junior out. I don't think the Prince has figured out it's Cour yet.
Though some puppy training might go a long way as he's just full of "surprises". (Poop. He's full of poop).
He's a joy, no really. Sirius already loves him I'm certain of it.
Courvoisier has taken a shine to the little terror-ier and protects him fiercely with tooth and claw. Hides under Sirius' bed to tag him when he tries to fish Junior out. I don't think the Prince has figured out it's Cour yet.
Written By Iseulet
June 15, 2020, 8:09 a.m.(6/23/1013 AR)
Relationship Note on Valdemar
I heard that heating up a silver spoon and pressing it to the bite takes the itch right out.
Written By Iseulet
June 10, 2020, 5:39 a.m.(6/13/1013 AR)
Relationship Note on Sirius
Thanks to him, I won't have to worry about my desk chair acting up again. He really taught it a lesson.
Antiques - who needs those anyway!
Antiques - who needs those anyway!
Written By Iseulet
June 6, 2020, 3:42 a.m.(6/5/1013 AR)
Relationship Note on Mabelle
I'm so proud of my friend, Lady Mabelle's recent accomplishment in Artshall. A brilliant idea and momentous effort that has furthered medical knowledge in Arvum.
Written By Iseulet
June 4, 2020, 12:57 a.m.(6/1/1013 AR)
I watched the duel between Lady Catalana and Lord Porter from the window of the Grimhall Longhouse.
And now I see there are beards littering the abandoned square.
It's creepy.
Deeply, deeply creepy.
And now I see there are beards littering the abandoned square.
It's creepy.
Deeply, deeply creepy.
Written By Iseulet
June 3, 2020, 5:47 p.m.(5/28/1013 AR)
Yesterday's tea was a lovely affair.
I know it was a controversial thing to do, given the tension in the city with the markets the way they are and how we are holding our breath and waiting for something to happen... but I just needed to be social and put myself out there. I find I need friends more than ever to not only help me through this tough time but to help others cope with the stresses too. I know that's fundamentally selfish of me, because it pleases me and makes me feel good to help others. But, you can't help others if you don't know others.
Anyway, as a result I met quite a few lovely ladies and got to spend time with a new friend.
And then I had a little surprise for myself - what a shock. What timing.
Cats. What can you do.
I know it was a controversial thing to do, given the tension in the city with the markets the way they are and how we are holding our breath and waiting for something to happen... but I just needed to be social and put myself out there. I find I need friends more than ever to not only help me through this tough time but to help others cope with the stresses too. I know that's fundamentally selfish of me, because it pleases me and makes me feel good to help others. But, you can't help others if you don't know others.
Anyway, as a result I met quite a few lovely ladies and got to spend time with a new friend.
And then I had a little surprise for myself - what a shock. What timing.
Cats. What can you do.
Written By Iseulet
May 31, 2020, 8:03 p.m.(5/22/1013 AR)
I have been told twice today that people are concerned about me regarding my cats. You would think that they would have noticed my problem thirty cats ago.
I think I'm going to host a tea party for cats (humans welcome too I suppose). This will prove to everyone I don't have a problem.
I think I'm going to host a tea party for cats (humans welcome too I suppose). This will prove to everyone I don't have a problem.
Written By Iseulet
May 31, 2020, 11:05 a.m.(5/22/1013 AR)
Relationship Note on Vanora
I'm just purrfect. Thank you for your concern, you're too sweet.
Just let me know if the cat hair gets too much for the Longhouse.
Just let me know if the cat hair gets too much for the Longhouse.
Written By Iseulet
May 30, 2020, 7:25 a.m.(5/19/1013 AR)
I think I mentioned I got a couple new cats the other day, right scholar? Yes. Well.
They're all weird.
They haven't been named yet. I mean they usually reveal their own names to me with time and it's still too early to tell but there's one that's standing out and I have a feeling I'm going to discover his name soon.
He passes wind like a grown man and last night (before dawn I might add) woke me up by licking my arm pits. This morning, as I was having coffee in bed, he also brought me two potatoes from the kitchen.
He's also passive aggressive and refuses to eat without me. I've figured out that he's basically yowling at me 'we are a family and families eat together gods damn it'. And, when I am gone for more than half a day I come home to find him in a passive aggressive kitty huff because dinner has been ready for *hours* and he's *trying* to be considerate (unlike some humans) and waiting for me before he eats.
Gus, I think I will call him Gus. Short for Augustus, meaning... majestic.
Hmm. Another new one will sit on the couch behind me and pet me. I guess it figures /she/ likes to be petted so /I/ should like it too. She also licks the butter. I can't leave it out in a dish anymore of I come back to kitty tongue prints all over it.
Maybe I should call her Butters.
They're all weird.
They haven't been named yet. I mean they usually reveal their own names to me with time and it's still too early to tell but there's one that's standing out and I have a feeling I'm going to discover his name soon.
He passes wind like a grown man and last night (before dawn I might add) woke me up by licking my arm pits. This morning, as I was having coffee in bed, he also brought me two potatoes from the kitchen.
He's also passive aggressive and refuses to eat without me. I've figured out that he's basically yowling at me 'we are a family and families eat together gods damn it'. And, when I am gone for more than half a day I come home to find him in a passive aggressive kitty huff because dinner has been ready for *hours* and he's *trying* to be considerate (unlike some humans) and waiting for me before he eats.
Gus, I think I will call him Gus. Short for Augustus, meaning... majestic.
Hmm. Another new one will sit on the couch behind me and pet me. I guess it figures /she/ likes to be petted so /I/ should like it too. She also licks the butter. I can't leave it out in a dish anymore of I come back to kitty tongue prints all over it.
Maybe I should call her Butters.
Written By Iseulet
May 29, 2020, 9:55 a.m.(5/17/1013 AR)
Cats are also great listeners. Sometimes you just want to be able to complain about something or someone and not get told you're over reacting. Just a simple meow will do.
Have I also mentioned how cats commit early in a relationship? When a cat comes meowing at your door, the cat has entirely adopted you. There's no begging for a commitment. Cats are in it for the long run and you don't have to worry about their intentions with you.
And lastly, I suppose, yes Scholar you can stop dictating after this... Cats will stick around. No matter what. They will lay by your side and never stop loving you. Even if you think you need to push them away because you think someone else might care for them better... they've chosen you. And they will come back, even if it's in the middle of the night and curl up in bed beside you and all is back to normal in the morning. Through thick and thin and stupid decisions and bad hair days. It's you and them against the world - no matter what.
Have I also mentioned how cats commit early in a relationship? When a cat comes meowing at your door, the cat has entirely adopted you. There's no begging for a commitment. Cats are in it for the long run and you don't have to worry about their intentions with you.
And lastly, I suppose, yes Scholar you can stop dictating after this... Cats will stick around. No matter what. They will lay by your side and never stop loving you. Even if you think you need to push them away because you think someone else might care for them better... they've chosen you. And they will come back, even if it's in the middle of the night and curl up in bed beside you and all is back to normal in the morning. Through thick and thin and stupid decisions and bad hair days. It's you and them against the world - no matter what.
Written By Iseulet
May 29, 2020, 9:47 a.m.(5/17/1013 AR)
You will always know when a cat likes you or hates you. There's no guessing about it.
If he likes you, he will ignore you and occasionally come for a cuddle.
If he hates you, he will hiss and scratch at you.
When he's over it, he comes back for a snuggle and all is well again.
Humans on the other hand - especially men - are decidedly far more complicated.
If he likes you, he will ignore you and occasionally come for a cuddle.
If he hates you, he will hiss and scratch at you.
When he's over it, he comes back for a snuggle and all is well again.
Humans on the other hand - especially men - are decidedly far more complicated.
Written By Iseulet
May 29, 2020, 9:13 a.m.(5/17/1013 AR)
I think my cats have formed a division of labor when it comes to pestering me for things.
One of them only bugs me about empty food bowls.
Another one of them only bugs me about empty water bowls.
Another one is the one in charge of waking me up.
This morning, I literally witnessed the cat that only pesters me about water bowls run and fetch the cat in charge of food bowls so *she* could give me hell about the food situation.
What's worse is when I am depressed and really slacking in my duties (woe be to me if I need to sleep in, right?) I will occasionally wake up without any cats pestering me and head downstairs to find them all in a circle appearing as if they are having a meeting.
Another is in charge of the toys. He hordes them in one of the beds and lays upon it like he's some sort of dragon and all the other cats have to bribe him with mice presents in order to be able to rent one for a while.
One of them only bugs me about empty food bowls.
Another one of them only bugs me about empty water bowls.
Another one is the one in charge of waking me up.
This morning, I literally witnessed the cat that only pesters me about water bowls run and fetch the cat in charge of food bowls so *she* could give me hell about the food situation.
What's worse is when I am depressed and really slacking in my duties (woe be to me if I need to sleep in, right?) I will occasionally wake up without any cats pestering me and head downstairs to find them all in a circle appearing as if they are having a meeting.
Another is in charge of the toys. He hordes them in one of the beds and lays upon it like he's some sort of dragon and all the other cats have to bribe him with mice presents in order to be able to rent one for a while.
Written By Iseulet
May 28, 2020, 5:41 p.m.(5/16/1013 AR)
My babies have forgiven me for the extended vacation and are safe and sound back home with me. All of them. Plus a few more.
I can't find the bird. I think I can guess what happened to it...
I'm sleeping better now. A bed isn't a bed unless there's so much cat hair on it that you could stuff a few throw pillows nicely with it.
Hmm. That seems like a decent business opportunity for me. I am sure nothing bad would come of cat pillows.
No, I can't even write that down without a sneeze.
I can't find the bird. I think I can guess what happened to it...
I'm sleeping better now. A bed isn't a bed unless there's so much cat hair on it that you could stuff a few throw pillows nicely with it.
Hmm. That seems like a decent business opportunity for me. I am sure nothing bad would come of cat pillows.
No, I can't even write that down without a sneeze.
Written By Iseulet
May 19, 2020, 7:09 p.m.(4/26/1013 AR)
It's very quiet now, with hardly any cats waking me up at odd hours for food or weighing me down at night.
The bed is much colder.
Much less cat hair to contend with.
Feels strange.
The bed is much colder.
Much less cat hair to contend with.
Feels strange.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.