Written By Samantha
Sept. 11, 2018, 6:22 p.m.(7/28/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Gabriel
You are MY hero.
Forever and always.
Forever and always.
Written By Samantha
Aug. 20, 2018, 10:07 a.m.(6/6/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Coraline
My apologies.
I mentioned that my friendship with Prince Barric had grown distant, and I was unaware of your connection to him. It makes me happy to know he experienced a sincere and deep love.
I mentioned that my friendship with Prince Barric had grown distant, and I was unaware of your connection to him. It makes me happy to know he experienced a sincere and deep love.
Written By Samantha
Aug. 20, 2018, 1:27 a.m.(6/6/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Barric
Prince Barric Grayson was my first love.
It was a child's love, from the time when Grayson's young scions were brought to Pridehall to learn the arts of war and strategy, and to be educated in leadership. I knew him when he was gangly and growing, when he first put his hands on a sword, and when his voice first cracked.
I left Pridehall for Deepwood about halfway to my sixteenth birthday, and put all thought of such fanciful notions behind. And even when I came to Arx to spend time at court, I seldom saw him, as he was mainly at Pridehall. When we did finally meet again, we were very different people. But I only saw him with the eyes of the fourteen year old girl who had loved him, and when I made a fool of myself, he forgave me, explained himself, and we stayed good friends.
I was blessed to find a stronger and more lasting love than what I felt as a girl, as a woman to a man who loves me. It never seemed to me that Barric was so lucky, and we grew apart over the years in Arx. And then, this past year...I don't know. Perhaps something troubled him.
I mourn the boy. The first love. The young man. The friend. That is how I choose to remember him, and I hope by the grace of the Queen of Endings that his next turn on the Wheel carries him to a life less strangled and difficult than it seemed his life had become in these last few months.
It was a child's love, from the time when Grayson's young scions were brought to Pridehall to learn the arts of war and strategy, and to be educated in leadership. I knew him when he was gangly and growing, when he first put his hands on a sword, and when his voice first cracked.
I left Pridehall for Deepwood about halfway to my sixteenth birthday, and put all thought of such fanciful notions behind. And even when I came to Arx to spend time at court, I seldom saw him, as he was mainly at Pridehall. When we did finally meet again, we were very different people. But I only saw him with the eyes of the fourteen year old girl who had loved him, and when I made a fool of myself, he forgave me, explained himself, and we stayed good friends.
I was blessed to find a stronger and more lasting love than what I felt as a girl, as a woman to a man who loves me. It never seemed to me that Barric was so lucky, and we grew apart over the years in Arx. And then, this past year...I don't know. Perhaps something troubled him.
I mourn the boy. The first love. The young man. The friend. That is how I choose to remember him, and I hope by the grace of the Queen of Endings that his next turn on the Wheel carries him to a life less strangled and difficult than it seemed his life had become in these last few months.
Written By Samantha
Aug. 14, 2018, 6:34 p.m.(5/23/1009 AR)
Deepwood has become a home for so many, and continues to expand not just as a domain, but as a family as well. In addition to Nara and Layne (she keeps telling people Layne is her baby, which is both hilarious and bemusing), we've welcomed two additional children into the Micah, a bright, intelligent little boy of four, and Valarina, a nine year old girl eager to become a member of the Iron Guard one day.
In opening our home to these children, I am thankful for being blessed with a mother figure as wonderful as Iona Bisland, who opened her heart to me, an orphan child of four, and how she and Duke Gabriel opened their home to countless children even if only for the summer to help train them into being the people they are today. I only hope that all of the children in the Deepwood Household, from my own to those of the servants, feel that they are safe, loved, and protected. At the end of the day, that's all a child wants.
In opening our home to these children, I am thankful for being blessed with a mother figure as wonderful as Iona Bisland, who opened her heart to me, an orphan child of four, and how she and Duke Gabriel opened their home to countless children even if only for the summer to help train them into being the people they are today. I only hope that all of the children in the Deepwood Household, from my own to those of the servants, feel that they are safe, loved, and protected. At the end of the day, that's all a child wants.
Written By Samantha
July 25, 2018, 6:09 p.m.(4/6/1009 AR)
I am ready to stop feeling like one of those whales that are sometimes sighted off the Seliki coast.
I am ready for my feet to stop looking like potatoes with nubbins at one end.
I am ready for my two year old to stop asking me every day, several times a day, when this child is coming.
I think my usual reply of "Not yet." and "Soon." should be replaced by "Go ask your father."
After all, aren't spouses supposed to share one's burdens?
I am ready for my feet to stop looking like potatoes with nubbins at one end.
I am ready for my two year old to stop asking me every day, several times a day, when this child is coming.
I think my usual reply of "Not yet." and "Soon." should be replaced by "Go ask your father."
After all, aren't spouses supposed to share one's burdens?
Written By Samantha
July 13, 2018, 4:52 p.m.(3/9/1009 AR)
My two year old enjoys apple cider and pinwheel cookies.
Written By Samantha
July 11, 2018, 6 p.m.(3/5/1009 AR)
It is a common misconception that insult must be deliberate in order to be percieved correctly.
As an experienced diplomat, I can tell anyone who cares to know, that this is not true. It is all too frequent that even if one does not intend offense offense can still be taken. You then have a choice; you can choose to refute the outcome of what you have chosen to say, or you can aknowledge that your intention and the result were not in alignment, and proceed accordingly. This may or may not involve an apology, but quite simply, the best course of action is to take responsibility for what comes out of your mouth, regardless of the intention you put behind it. Perception is valid, and must be acknowledged, or peaceful communication breaks down.
As an experienced diplomat, I can tell anyone who cares to know, that this is not true. It is all too frequent that even if one does not intend offense offense can still be taken. You then have a choice; you can choose to refute the outcome of what you have chosen to say, or you can aknowledge that your intention and the result were not in alignment, and proceed accordingly. This may or may not involve an apology, but quite simply, the best course of action is to take responsibility for what comes out of your mouth, regardless of the intention you put behind it. Perception is valid, and must be acknowledged, or peaceful communication breaks down.
Written By Samantha
July 11, 2018, 5:17 p.m.(3/5/1009 AR)
Amendment; having seen Barric's notes regarding the whole affair, I am still curious as to the particular point of etiquette, but as Barric is not invoking that clause, I am baffled.
Written By Samantha
July 11, 2018, 5:15 p.m.(3/5/1009 AR)
It is my understanding that a person of higher rank, if challenged by someone of lesser rank, may choose to decline without penalty or further declaration, at least on the formal level. I'm assuming that Prince Barric has refused based on this principle, though as to the nature of the incident, I have no knowledge and cannot not speak to it.
If I'm wrong about this particular point of dueling etiquette, I am certainly willing to be corrected. I'm not taking sides, but I am interested in this point of clarification.
If I'm wrong about this particular point of dueling etiquette, I am certainly willing to be corrected. I'm not taking sides, but I am interested in this point of clarification.
Written By Samantha
July 6, 2018, 10:30 a.m.(2/22/1009 AR)
A conversation with one of my vassals yesterday led to some manner of debate, and so I put my thought to pen. I feel an incredibly strong kinship with the children that Prince Ainsley rescued, as their experience mirrors my own in many ways. I know from experience what it is to have been witness to terrible things; I know what it is to have had terrible things inflicted on me. And I know what it is to be rescued, and then to be brought into a loving home.
I will always honor the woman who gave birth to me; we gave her name to our firstborn. But Gabriel and Iona are my parents, and Michael and Lailah are my siblings, and I have never doubted their love or felt a lack of inclusion, even if my name wasn't Bisland.
Rymarr and I have made the decision to foster one of these children, to raise them within our household as a companion to our children, and to provide them with all of the opportunities to achieve their dreams that is within our capacity to give. There will be love and care and structure and safety.
Will this child feel less loved, or less part of the family, because they won't bear the name Deepwood? Or because they will not be granted a noble title? I should think not. Not in my household. And not when they have the opportunity to earn such rank through merit.
And what if a child is brought into the House, granted the name of Deepwood, but likewise not given a title and affirmed by Limerance as not being part of the succession? Would that in and of itself make them feel inequal, and that they are loved less by those who have brought them into their homes and hearts?
Based on my own experiences, I don't think so. But perhaps I am wrong.
I will always honor the woman who gave birth to me; we gave her name to our firstborn. But Gabriel and Iona are my parents, and Michael and Lailah are my siblings, and I have never doubted their love or felt a lack of inclusion, even if my name wasn't Bisland.
Rymarr and I have made the decision to foster one of these children, to raise them within our household as a companion to our children, and to provide them with all of the opportunities to achieve their dreams that is within our capacity to give. There will be love and care and structure and safety.
Will this child feel less loved, or less part of the family, because they won't bear the name Deepwood? Or because they will not be granted a noble title? I should think not. Not in my household. And not when they have the opportunity to earn such rank through merit.
And what if a child is brought into the House, granted the name of Deepwood, but likewise not given a title and affirmed by Limerance as not being part of the succession? Would that in and of itself make them feel inequal, and that they are loved less by those who have brought them into their homes and hearts?
Based on my own experiences, I don't think so. But perhaps I am wrong.
Written By Samantha
June 18, 2018, 12:41 a.m.(1/13/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Aurelian
There but for the grace of the Gods (and Gabriel Bisland) I might have gone.
Written By Samantha
June 11, 2018, 10:35 a.m.(12/19/1008 AR)
I'm so pleased that the annual Deepwood Harvest Festival party was a success! So many people have told me that it was a spot of brightness that was sorely needed, and I am happy to provide.
The March's Harvest Festival is a fairly big deal back home. It's when we celebrate the bounty of what the March offers, though it originally started as particularly focusing on the harvest of our apple farms, which is why there is so much attention focused on the famous Deepwood apples and cider.
Esoka championed the apple bobbing, though it is of special mention that I had the pleasure of seeing Lord Grady and Duke Aiden each find a new friend in each other over their respective spectacular dunkings into the barrel.
Sir Jeffeth won the day at pie eating. I have...never quite seen someone put away that much pie before. I am in awe. Even more amazing, he kept nibbling on food after the contest was over!
And then, the contest I think most were waiting for, the axe throw! My own vassal, Count Thesarin, managed victory by a hair against Lord Cullen Greenmarch. It was so close the servants had to take a measure of their targets. The Count's victory was by a mere thumbnail of distance.
Alas, however, we had only two competitors for the Deepwood Dish. The winner will have his prize delivered today. I hope he likes it.
The March's Harvest Festival is a fairly big deal back home. It's when we celebrate the bounty of what the March offers, though it originally started as particularly focusing on the harvest of our apple farms, which is why there is so much attention focused on the famous Deepwood apples and cider.
Esoka championed the apple bobbing, though it is of special mention that I had the pleasure of seeing Lord Grady and Duke Aiden each find a new friend in each other over their respective spectacular dunkings into the barrel.
Sir Jeffeth won the day at pie eating. I have...never quite seen someone put away that much pie before. I am in awe. Even more amazing, he kept nibbling on food after the contest was over!
And then, the contest I think most were waiting for, the axe throw! My own vassal, Count Thesarin, managed victory by a hair against Lord Cullen Greenmarch. It was so close the servants had to take a measure of their targets. The Count's victory was by a mere thumbnail of distance.
Alas, however, we had only two competitors for the Deepwood Dish. The winner will have his prize delivered today. I hope he likes it.
Written By Samantha
May 25, 2018, 1:37 p.m.(11/4/1008 AR)
As the discussion on thralls resumes, I am once again reminded of the essay I wrote back in 1005, that I decided to enter again into the journals last year. Perhaps it is time once more:
I wrote an essay on thralldom back in 1005, which some like-minded people saw fit to publish. I've included a portion of it below:
1007: It is a truth nigh-universal that the state of thralldom is only a scant step above the institution of slavery. The premise of this system is that of indentured servitude, with few if ever any earning their wage with the intent to release them from their eventual debt. More frequently thralls die in servitude, and it is not unknown for their debt to be further passed down to their offspring, who must in turn engage themselves into the system in order to pay it off, while acruing more debt.
1005: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It is also a truth night-universal that the institution of thralldom is regarded in disdain by almost all the regions of our great kingdom, save amongst the Thrax, from which it originates. In the past, thralls who have escaped have been welcomed into the service of other lords and masters in order to prevent their return to such a demeaning and inhumane circumstance. However, this was done as a quiet measure, with no one truly daring to openly challenge the convention. Until now, all objection has been subversive. But if the nobility of our great land is to truly act in the name of the people they have by the grace of the Gods been granted to lead, this social construct must be confronted, and a solution must be sought.
Dear friends, it may seem on the surface that an immediate abolishment of thralldom is the natural conclusion to such thoughts, however that is the furthest from the case. It is important to remember that the House of Thrax and its banner Houses are strong, providing members of our great land, and to simply insist that they revert an entrenched element of their culture and economy would be to do them a disservice. We must not throw the lives of so many into chaos, not only those who gain directly from thralldom, but also those who live simpler lives that are dependent on a secure economy and would suffer as a result of too swift a change, and for thralls themselves, who would eventually need to realize a new way of thinking about their personal value and worth. Change and growth are painful processes, but with guidance and support, great change for the betterment of all men and women may happen.
I do not believe that all Thrax or all of their bannermen believe in maintenance of this institution, but are perhaps cautious of speaking out against it. They are a proud, strong people. If any were able to face such a significant alteration of their lives and culture, it would be them.
But what solutions may we offer, to ease the pains that would surely come from such a deconstruction? How can we buffer our fellows who, if they choose to commit to this course, will surely suffer from the loss of an established institution? Can solutions be found at the Crown level? Through the support of the other Great Houses? Perhaps, if House Thrax is so willing, a kind of council can be formed to discuss the topic of gradual abolishment in a way that minimizes the impact.
All men and women deserve the right to shape their destiny in as much as they are able, in the loyal and willing service to those responsible for their mutual care. To trap any in less is to reduce them to a state of chattel. If your great kingdom is to be a beacon of true greatness and utopia, we can no longer quietly avoid the inequality present within the realm. It must be faced head on, but respectfully and with consideration for those who will need to prepare for the brunt of this change. Anyone familiar with the natural world knows this to be true: the strongest creatures of the forest and sea survive by adapting to their circumstances. It is not easy, but for doing so, they become stronger, swifter, and more powerful than before. If we can succeed in this my friends, it makes not just the House of Thrax more powerful, but it will bring greater power to us all, throughout the realm.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1007: Today, things are very different. Progress has been slow - and I believe that this is a good and right pace for the progress necessary. As justice begins to be tempered by compassion, as reform evolves the way crime and punishment are dealt with. And reform has come from some of the most unexpected parties involved. One of the reasons that despite our philosophical differences, Deepwood has such strong trade ties with Thrax and most of its vassals - because by aiding in providing a stable economy, I can reduce the financial burden that would come from the abolition of thralldom as it progresses.
I wrote an essay on thralldom back in 1005, which some like-minded people saw fit to publish. I've included a portion of it below:
1007: It is a truth nigh-universal that the state of thralldom is only a scant step above the institution of slavery. The premise of this system is that of indentured servitude, with few if ever any earning their wage with the intent to release them from their eventual debt. More frequently thralls die in servitude, and it is not unknown for their debt to be further passed down to their offspring, who must in turn engage themselves into the system in order to pay it off, while acruing more debt.
1005: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It is also a truth night-universal that the institution of thralldom is regarded in disdain by almost all the regions of our great kingdom, save amongst the Thrax, from which it originates. In the past, thralls who have escaped have been welcomed into the service of other lords and masters in order to prevent their return to such a demeaning and inhumane circumstance. However, this was done as a quiet measure, with no one truly daring to openly challenge the convention. Until now, all objection has been subversive. But if the nobility of our great land is to truly act in the name of the people they have by the grace of the Gods been granted to lead, this social construct must be confronted, and a solution must be sought.
Dear friends, it may seem on the surface that an immediate abolishment of thralldom is the natural conclusion to such thoughts, however that is the furthest from the case. It is important to remember that the House of Thrax and its banner Houses are strong, providing members of our great land, and to simply insist that they revert an entrenched element of their culture and economy would be to do them a disservice. We must not throw the lives of so many into chaos, not only those who gain directly from thralldom, but also those who live simpler lives that are dependent on a secure economy and would suffer as a result of too swift a change, and for thralls themselves, who would eventually need to realize a new way of thinking about their personal value and worth. Change and growth are painful processes, but with guidance and support, great change for the betterment of all men and women may happen.
I do not believe that all Thrax or all of their bannermen believe in maintenance of this institution, but are perhaps cautious of speaking out against it. They are a proud, strong people. If any were able to face such a significant alteration of their lives and culture, it would be them.
But what solutions may we offer, to ease the pains that would surely come from such a deconstruction? How can we buffer our fellows who, if they choose to commit to this course, will surely suffer from the loss of an established institution? Can solutions be found at the Crown level? Through the support of the other Great Houses? Perhaps, if House Thrax is so willing, a kind of council can be formed to discuss the topic of gradual abolishment in a way that minimizes the impact.
All men and women deserve the right to shape their destiny in as much as they are able, in the loyal and willing service to those responsible for their mutual care. To trap any in less is to reduce them to a state of chattel. If your great kingdom is to be a beacon of true greatness and utopia, we can no longer quietly avoid the inequality present within the realm. It must be faced head on, but respectfully and with consideration for those who will need to prepare for the brunt of this change. Anyone familiar with the natural world knows this to be true: the strongest creatures of the forest and sea survive by adapting to their circumstances. It is not easy, but for doing so, they become stronger, swifter, and more powerful than before. If we can succeed in this my friends, it makes not just the House of Thrax more powerful, but it will bring greater power to us all, throughout the realm.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1007: Today, things are very different. Progress has been slow - and I believe that this is a good and right pace for the progress necessary. As justice begins to be tempered by compassion, as reform evolves the way crime and punishment are dealt with. And reform has come from some of the most unexpected parties involved. One of the reasons that despite our philosophical differences, Deepwood has such strong trade ties with Thrax and most of its vassals - because by aiding in providing a stable economy, I can reduce the financial burden that would come from the abolition of thralldom as it progresses.
Written By Samantha
May 24, 2018, 6:44 p.m.(11/2/1008 AR)
I have been unsettled of late.
There are many who refer to me as the Conscience of the Peers, but of late I've been overwhelmed with so many complicated feelings. Frustration, malaise, and in some degree, hopelessness. Like no matter what I do, it will never be enough, and there is no room for forgiveness when it comes to mistakes I make. That there is so much going on and so much information to recall. That some destinies may be inevitable, no matter how hard we fight against them.
There's an ancient story of a man who believed that if he pushed a giant stone up a mountain, he would have everything he desired. But every time he came near the peak, he would stumble, or some other incident would occur, and he would lose his grip on the stone, and it would go rolling right back down. He was doomed for eternity to keep pushing that rock up the mountain.
Am I that man? I believe that I am who I am and what I am because it means I can use the power I've been granted to help raise others who need an opportunity to rise. I do what I can, but I am also constantly told that it is not enough.
I am trying.
I don't see how this truth is anything other than whining, Scholar.
There are many who refer to me as the Conscience of the Peers, but of late I've been overwhelmed with so many complicated feelings. Frustration, malaise, and in some degree, hopelessness. Like no matter what I do, it will never be enough, and there is no room for forgiveness when it comes to mistakes I make. That there is so much going on and so much information to recall. That some destinies may be inevitable, no matter how hard we fight against them.
There's an ancient story of a man who believed that if he pushed a giant stone up a mountain, he would have everything he desired. But every time he came near the peak, he would stumble, or some other incident would occur, and he would lose his grip on the stone, and it would go rolling right back down. He was doomed for eternity to keep pushing that rock up the mountain.
Am I that man? I believe that I am who I am and what I am because it means I can use the power I've been granted to help raise others who need an opportunity to rise. I do what I can, but I am also constantly told that it is not enough.
I am trying.
I don't see how this truth is anything other than whining, Scholar.
Written By Samantha
May 22, 2018, 10:36 a.m.(10/15/1008 AR)
For those of you who may question what's so bad about the Rex'alfar, as an example, let me remind you of some history:
The Rex'alfar and their human agents tortured me and brainwashed me, then slaughtered in an entire noble House, just to put me in place as a decoy they could activate at their leisure to serve them on the inside of the Compact. If not for the heroic efforts of my foster father, Duke Gabriel Bisland, and the care and love of my Bisland family, that is very well who I might have turned out to be.
I was about four years old at the time.
The Rex'alfar and their human agents tortured me and brainwashed me, then slaughtered in an entire noble House, just to put me in place as a decoy they could activate at their leisure to serve them on the inside of the Compact. If not for the heroic efforts of my foster father, Duke Gabriel Bisland, and the care and love of my Bisland family, that is very well who I might have turned out to be.
I was about four years old at the time.
Written By Samantha
May 14, 2018, 2:23 p.m.(9/27/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Ida
Honored Dame, if you and my husband continue to be sparring partners (and given his stubborn determination and inclination to constantly strive to better himself, I reckon this is likely), all I ask is that you not break him too badly. I need him for things.
Written By Samantha
May 9, 2018, 4:10 p.m.(9/17/1008 AR)
Some weeks ago, I did put forth that I was available for diplomacy tutoring, and mentioned that payment could be determined. I was under the mistaken belief that others might value what they pay for more than what they are given, but the flaw in that logic is profound, and I regret taking that approach.
The book I wrote remains free to anyone who desires a copy, and tutoring will not require payment. However, if those I teach feel that what I've offered merits recompense, I would have them donate to the Faith instead.
The book I wrote remains free to anyone who desires a copy, and tutoring will not require payment. However, if those I teach feel that what I've offered merits recompense, I would have them donate to the Faith instead.
Written By Samantha
May 8, 2018, 10:19 a.m.(9/14/1008 AR)
I imagine if I ever get to the point where I am challenged, I'll have Rymarr serve as my champion and require the duel be via arm wrestling.
The removal of his shirt is optional.
The removal of his shirt is optional.
Written By Samantha
April 30, 2018, 8:49 p.m.(8/26/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Rymarr
I'm going to claim forgetfulness as an early stage symptom. Honestly, we'd had a few discussions about it and somewhere along the line I lost track of who knew what.
Congratulations, my love. It still works.
Summarily, I'm a terrible fool.
Congratulations, my love. It still works.
Summarily, I'm a terrible fool.
Written By Samantha
April 30, 2018, 3:51 p.m.(8/25/1008 AR)
I forgot how tired being in this condition makes me feel.
Save for the last week or so, I've been occupied with so many things - research, contract negotiations, large scale projects which may not see fruition in years. Every now and again, I feel like I need to take some time away from things and delegate to others. It helped me to pick up a bit more on sleep and spend time with Nara. I am now ready to pick up the burden again, and choose to look to the future with hope.
Save for the last week or so, I've been occupied with so many things - research, contract negotiations, large scale projects which may not see fruition in years. Every now and again, I feel like I need to take some time away from things and delegate to others. It helped me to pick up a bit more on sleep and spend time with Nara. I am now ready to pick up the burden again, and choose to look to the future with hope.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.