Written By Marian
Aug. 30, 2019, 3 a.m.(9/27/1011 AR)
I've been restless the past few evenings. Getting up, slipping on my robe and peace-tied dagger then roaming the halls to check on those I care for. Looking down at their sleeping faces just to assure myself that everything is fine.
Nia fights even in her sleep. That little nose scrunched up and her fingers in fists. A gentle hand through her hair calms the savage dreams so at least my nighttime wandering has some use.
Fergus and Valen never seen to sleep in separate beds. One always migrates to the other. They sleep in opposite directions so it's a wonder that either boy doesn't end up kicked in the face.
Sometimes I bump into another evening wanderer in the halls. I've been teased about arming myself even within the villa walls. Tragedy of Sanctum taught me the folly of assumptions. I'll never take for granted that my family is safe because there are guards stationed at the entrances. They are far too precious to make that devastating mistake.
Nia fights even in her sleep. That little nose scrunched up and her fingers in fists. A gentle hand through her hair calms the savage dreams so at least my nighttime wandering has some use.
Fergus and Valen never seen to sleep in separate beds. One always migrates to the other. They sleep in opposite directions so it's a wonder that either boy doesn't end up kicked in the face.
Sometimes I bump into another evening wanderer in the halls. I've been teased about arming myself even within the villa walls. Tragedy of Sanctum taught me the folly of assumptions. I'll never take for granted that my family is safe because there are guards stationed at the entrances. They are far too precious to make that devastating mistake.
Written By Marian
Aug. 28, 2019, 12:26 a.m.(9/23/1011 AR)
We celebrated my boys' 3rd birthday in the woods amongst the trees where their father spent his youth. The party started off well. The tents went up seamlessly. The sky was clear. We found the fishing hole where their father caught many fish. Fergus caught the biggest fish. We put the in a basket, tied it up in a tree to keep them away from animals, and the moved on to our hike.
When we returned to camp, an unexpected sight was waiting for us. A bear managed to knock our fishing basket out of the tree and start eating our dinner. Nia let out a roar and I caught her before she could defend our dinner. Fergus got caught caught in the other arm when he tried to follow his sister. In all the confusion, Valen wandered off. It was less than 5 minutes but I swear it took 5 years off my life. The clever scamp had circled back to the tent and slipped inside. Perfectly logical to get out of the chaos. Happily playing with his toys.
No one was injured. The bear ambled off once he ate his fill. We ate our backup rations that were brought along incase we failed at fishing. I let them stay up past their bedtime, and sung songs to the stars afterwards. Overall, I think my boys enjoyed their birthday. Apparently the arrival of the bear was one of their favorite highlights.
Next year we're going to celebrate at the castle. Or some area that has four walls that can contain my brood.
When we returned to camp, an unexpected sight was waiting for us. A bear managed to knock our fishing basket out of the tree and start eating our dinner. Nia let out a roar and I caught her before she could defend our dinner. Fergus got caught caught in the other arm when he tried to follow his sister. In all the confusion, Valen wandered off. It was less than 5 minutes but I swear it took 5 years off my life. The clever scamp had circled back to the tent and slipped inside. Perfectly logical to get out of the chaos. Happily playing with his toys.
No one was injured. The bear ambled off once he ate his fill. We ate our backup rations that were brought along incase we failed at fishing. I let them stay up past their bedtime, and sung songs to the stars afterwards. Overall, I think my boys enjoyed their birthday. Apparently the arrival of the bear was one of their favorite highlights.
Next year we're going to celebrate at the castle. Or some area that has four walls that can contain my brood.
Written By Marian
Aug. 24, 2019, 7:35 a.m.(9/15/1011 AR)
Marriage is not a bond to go into lightly, but I can not cast shade on others that enter into these vows quickly. My own history shows that sometimes that bright spark is enough to fan a fire that will last a lifetime.
Within weeks of meeting Prince Valen Valardin at the point of my sword, I fell for him. Entered into holy matrimony and gave vows to Limerance to be his wife. There were some that cautioned the prince, told him not to enter into this bond with me. However, it was his love that ultimately drew myself and my house back into the Compact. The only decision I ever regretted with my prince was waiting to have children. For thinking foolishly that we had all the time in the world to start a family. Events took him from me too soon. I mourned him for many years after this death, far more than our actual marriage.
Prince Fergus Redrain and I met in the sparring ring. I resisted the bond that time. I had been burned once by loss and didn't want to let love into my life again. Let my head rule my heart and delayed our vows far past when I should have. It look a friend, who now I know as traitor, to show me the error in my ways. When I gave vows to Limerance a second time, it was not rushed with youthful vigor. He gave me three adoring children who have brought light and joy into my existence, even after he was taken from me. I found purpose in taking up his mantle and taking a role of leadership in his beloved house.
Neither path was better than the other. My actions that led to speaking vows in both cases were not what led to the success. It was just the right time, the right person. I have known soul-shattering loss twice, when they left my side to rejoin the Wheel. I can not judge others who have chosen a different path. Who have walked away from their marriage. I leave such wisdom to Dominus Orazio to help troubled couples seek penance.
Within weeks of meeting Prince Valen Valardin at the point of my sword, I fell for him. Entered into holy matrimony and gave vows to Limerance to be his wife. There were some that cautioned the prince, told him not to enter into this bond with me. However, it was his love that ultimately drew myself and my house back into the Compact. The only decision I ever regretted with my prince was waiting to have children. For thinking foolishly that we had all the time in the world to start a family. Events took him from me too soon. I mourned him for many years after this death, far more than our actual marriage.
Prince Fergus Redrain and I met in the sparring ring. I resisted the bond that time. I had been burned once by loss and didn't want to let love into my life again. Let my head rule my heart and delayed our vows far past when I should have. It look a friend, who now I know as traitor, to show me the error in my ways. When I gave vows to Limerance a second time, it was not rushed with youthful vigor. He gave me three adoring children who have brought light and joy into my existence, even after he was taken from me. I found purpose in taking up his mantle and taking a role of leadership in his beloved house.
Neither path was better than the other. My actions that led to speaking vows in both cases were not what led to the success. It was just the right time, the right person. I have known soul-shattering loss twice, when they left my side to rejoin the Wheel. I can not judge others who have chosen a different path. Who have walked away from their marriage. I leave such wisdom to Dominus Orazio to help troubled couples seek penance.
Written By Marian
Aug. 12, 2019, 4:31 p.m.(8/20/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Arn
At the best of times we tolerated each other's company.
At the worst, he tried to run me through with a sword.
He was a stalwart ally and a challenging adversary.
I have known both sides of the coin.
Before I bent on knee, I knew what it meant to be on the opposite side of Duke Arn Telmar. He was not a man to be taken lightly, and many Abandoned were afraid when his banner was on the battlefield. I much preferred him as an ally even though that meant I couldn't bear steel after his cutting remarks. However, I must admit, despite just how different our backgrounds were, he always garnered my respect. He was a force to be reckoned with on and off the battlefield. While I shall miss his sharp words calling out across the Gauntlet, I can not help admire how this duke met his final charge. I wish him well on his next adventure. May the next turn of the Wheel be just as glorious.
At the worst, he tried to run me through with a sword.
He was a stalwart ally and a challenging adversary.
I have known both sides of the coin.
Before I bent on knee, I knew what it meant to be on the opposite side of Duke Arn Telmar. He was not a man to be taken lightly, and many Abandoned were afraid when his banner was on the battlefield. I much preferred him as an ally even though that meant I couldn't bear steel after his cutting remarks. However, I must admit, despite just how different our backgrounds were, he always garnered my respect. He was a force to be reckoned with on and off the battlefield. While I shall miss his sharp words calling out across the Gauntlet, I can not help admire how this duke met his final charge. I wish him well on his next adventure. May the next turn of the Wheel be just as glorious.
Written By Marian
Aug. 11, 2019, 10:14 a.m.(8/18/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Elloise
Oh and I should note that my daughter, Prince Nia Imogen Redrain, can't use a salad fork except to try to stab her brother for the grievous crime of stealing a piece of bread that was near her soup bowl. Civilization is quite lacking at the toddler's table. One does try as a parent.
I have high hopes that eventually she'll come around. I've placed a mandate that 'incidents' at the dinner table will result in no swordplay the next day.
I have high hopes that eventually she'll come around. I've placed a mandate that 'incidents' at the dinner table will result in no swordplay the next day.
Written By Marian
Aug. 11, 2019, 10:06 a.m.(8/18/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Elloise
I don’t think you can observe the “Prodigals” and correctly form any opinions about the diverse cultures that live outside the boundaries of the Compact. These tribes differ in language, traditions and living conditions. Many are nomadic that might choose to live in nature, or they may have strongholds, like my own family prior to bending on knee, that were fortified against knights. Yes, there were many times in my childhood I slept in a tree while hunting, but I always came home to a warm bed in castle walls, much like I imagine you experienced growing up.
I have made a point of learning four dialects of the shavs. I have rode out and sat with their leaders to discuss their peaceful removal from both Redrain and Valardin lands. I have bloodied my sword on violent strike forces that thought to weaken our great nation. I have sat with other prodigals and shared origins that are nothing like my own.
My mother tried desperately to teach me manners but I was a hoyden of the first order and oftentimes angered her by leaving my sword on the table. My lack of manners was a reckless choice of youth rather than a lack of upbringing. I assure you that my mother did try at one point to teach me what a salad fork was. I’m sure she would be relieved to find my much older self can get through a state dinner without embarrassing myself. That came with age and maturity, not my origins.
My personal choice to be truthful and forthright has nothing to do with my birth. I just don’t see the point of flirting with deceit. However, ‘simple’ is not a word I would describe myself. I can assure you m’lady, I have many layers, some of which were grown after I joined the Compact. Nor would my younger self even recognize the woman that first stepped into marriage vows with Prince Valen Valardin so observing me now would give you no clue to who I was back then. Because we all grow, change with the seasons.
I am a Prodigal. But my story is not like any others. Nor would I make grand sweeping statements on their culture and how it compares to Arx. Simple is not a word I would ever use when trying to define all these different, diverse groups. Just as we have many Great Houses that all bring unique qualities to the table. Frankly, I prefer a world that has so many colors of humanity.
I have made a point of learning four dialects of the shavs. I have rode out and sat with their leaders to discuss their peaceful removal from both Redrain and Valardin lands. I have bloodied my sword on violent strike forces that thought to weaken our great nation. I have sat with other prodigals and shared origins that are nothing like my own.
My mother tried desperately to teach me manners but I was a hoyden of the first order and oftentimes angered her by leaving my sword on the table. My lack of manners was a reckless choice of youth rather than a lack of upbringing. I assure you that my mother did try at one point to teach me what a salad fork was. I’m sure she would be relieved to find my much older self can get through a state dinner without embarrassing myself. That came with age and maturity, not my origins.
My personal choice to be truthful and forthright has nothing to do with my birth. I just don’t see the point of flirting with deceit. However, ‘simple’ is not a word I would describe myself. I can assure you m’lady, I have many layers, some of which were grown after I joined the Compact. Nor would my younger self even recognize the woman that first stepped into marriage vows with Prince Valen Valardin so observing me now would give you no clue to who I was back then. Because we all grow, change with the seasons.
I am a Prodigal. But my story is not like any others. Nor would I make grand sweeping statements on their culture and how it compares to Arx. Simple is not a word I would ever use when trying to define all these different, diverse groups. Just as we have many Great Houses that all bring unique qualities to the table. Frankly, I prefer a world that has so many colors of humanity.
Written By Marian
Aug. 1, 2019, 5:28 a.m.(7/25/1011 AR)
If a champion, such as Lady Brianna Halfshav, firmly believes in the innocence of the defendant, there is no dishonor in taking up their cause and defending them in a trial by combat as long as the matter is not a capital offense. Nor should any of the champions that refused to take up Master Ras' cause be criticized for their refusal because clearly his attempts to convince them to take up their sword did not strike home. Just as Master Ras enacted his right to seek a champion. Lord Alban Farshaw can drop the charges if he has a change of heart. I take no issue with any of these actions.
Now you can argue the validity of the cause. I'm sure both sides have their opinions. However, no spurs should be thrown at the Champions Guild in this matter. It's there for this very reason and should readily be available to all citizens of Arx.
Now you can argue the validity of the cause. I'm sure both sides have their opinions. However, no spurs should be thrown at the Champions Guild in this matter. It's there for this very reason and should readily be available to all citizens of Arx.
Written By Marian
Aug. 1, 2019, 5:13 a.m.(7/25/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Alban
I was not there at the inn that night. I can not speak to what led to the disagreement; however, I can speak to Lord Alban Farshaw's character. He served with me at the Battle of Stormwall. He fought well and was a credit to his house. He has served as a disciple, honoring Gloria with his actions. Never in the war camps in which we served together, did I ever see him treat anyone less than what they were because of the circumstances of their birth. Nor has he ever bullied anyone within my gaze to the point of violence. I doubt that this man would so radically change his character over a disagreement in an inn.
However, we can all be prone to lapses in judgement. Clearly Lord Alban has admitted in his whites where he might have errored. So I do hope that this matter is swiftly put to bed.
However, we can all be prone to lapses in judgement. Clearly Lord Alban has admitted in his whites where he might have errored. So I do hope that this matter is swiftly put to bed.
Written By Marian
July 4, 2019, 3:51 p.m.(5/26/1011 AR)
Princess Zara and Princess Tikva hosted a lavish hunt, although I'm afraid I missed the chase since I arrived at the feast late. I managed to secure a plate of food, catch up with some old friends and even make some new ones. Overall, I enjoyed the evening greatly. It reminds me to be more social.
Written By Marian
June 25, 2019, 4:07 a.m.(5/7/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Monique
I caught Nia lifting a dagger from one of my guards, while the twins were giggling and laughing at the fellow's jokes, distracting him. They're working together to divide and conquer.
It is times like these I wish I had one extra hand, because my brood scattered in three different directions when I shouted. Of course I only managed to grab the twins. Nia got away dodging myself and the guard.
My dear sister, Monique, I shall be deeply cross if I find out that you've been teaching that minx a few tricks. Certainly she didn't get this from me.
It is times like these I wish I had one extra hand, because my brood scattered in three different directions when I shouted. Of course I only managed to grab the twins. Nia got away dodging myself and the guard.
My dear sister, Monique, I shall be deeply cross if I find out that you've been teaching that minx a few tricks. Certainly she didn't get this from me.
Written By Marian
June 25, 2019, 3:10 a.m.(5/7/1011 AR)
My bird of prey, Ender, has been my constant companion for many years. His fierce claws never let me take him for granted. His keen eyes and piercing cry has warned me on many occasion just before a blade strikes my back.
With the recent musings on birds in the whites, I cannot help but celebrate my raptor.
With the recent musings on birds in the whites, I cannot help but celebrate my raptor.
Written By Marian
June 19, 2019, 11:36 p.m.(4/24/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Alarissa
I would choose heartbreak, because there can be no reward without risk. The years I spent with first Prince Valen then Prince Fergus are by far some of my happiest memories. Even with the loss, the razor sharp pain of heartbreak when they rejoined the Wheel, I thank Limerance every day for that undeniable spark that was gifted to me twice.
My life would have been less if I had built walls around myself to protect my heart. I would not have these three beautiful children that inspire me to fight for a better future. So while yes, my heart is now lonely because I have known heartbreak of losing two husbands, I would never turn away Limerance's gift to protect myself from the what ifs.
My life would have been less if I had built walls around myself to protect my heart. I would not have these three beautiful children that inspire me to fight for a better future. So while yes, my heart is now lonely because I have known heartbreak of losing two husbands, I would never turn away Limerance's gift to protect myself from the what ifs.
Written By Marian
June 15, 2019, 4:28 a.m.(4/15/1011 AR)
It's only been a few weeks but the city feels different to me. Perhaps I've spent too much time in the mountains, training my warriors. But the hustle and bustle of the citizens is loud to ears that have enjoyed the crisp crackle of a campfire. The low murmurs of men at their meals, living in brotherhood. The whispering wind bringing Petrichor's wisdom to those that stop and listen.
A mound of messages are sitting on my desk, neglected as I spend time with the children. They're getting so big. Nia has another birthday next month. She wants armor and a 'real' sword. She pouted when I told her it would be made of wood.
Twins have developed their secret language, driving their nurses mad with their antics. Although Fergus is the one that always seems to get caught. Valen is far too clever for his age.
I need to catch up with my family. Return to my duties here in Arx. Leave the winter snow to melt.
A mound of messages are sitting on my desk, neglected as I spend time with the children. They're getting so big. Nia has another birthday next month. She wants armor and a 'real' sword. She pouted when I told her it would be made of wood.
Twins have developed their secret language, driving their nurses mad with their antics. Although Fergus is the one that always seems to get caught. Valen is far too clever for his age.
I need to catch up with my family. Return to my duties here in Arx. Leave the winter snow to melt.
Written By Marian
May 5, 2019, 7:51 a.m.(1/17/1011 AR)
Winter comes to Arx. I am taking advantage of the storms to catch up on my reading in between my duties. The little ones are more engaged this year in the snow play.
Written By Marian
April 19, 2019, 3:44 p.m.(12/14/1010 AR)
Relationship Note on Luca
News of your death have touched my ears. I can't even begin to process what it means to live in a time where you are not there drinking and laughing in the pub. You have always lived life with such vigor, such energy. You brought me smiles even in my darkest moments. Even got me to laugh at myself a little, and that my friend was no easy feat in the beginning. If anyone ever finds my sense of humor too irreverent, it is totally this prince's fault.
When you look past the layer of bravado, there lies a heart just as true. You accepted me when others did not. When my naysayers tried to pull me down, you didn't stand there doing nothing. You told them to shut it when they called me a 'dirty shav' in whispers behind their fans in the salons. You taught me etiquette that you didn't bother with most days so I didn't make a fool of myself in social situations. Most importantly, you let me call you friend.
I am still here because you have taken blows for me, watched my back in battle. We have sparred many occasion for the joy of the blade. There are many stories I could share on this amazing champion. The one that jumps to mind is the time you entered a group melee with not a stick of cloth on your body and beat us all to a bloody pulp to come out the winner. I sat there in the sand, seeing way too much of him, marveling at his skill with the sword.
Yes, the steel one in his hand. Damn it! Stop laughing. This was supposed to be a nice send off. Luca...it's all your fault.
When you look past the layer of bravado, there lies a heart just as true. You accepted me when others did not. When my naysayers tried to pull me down, you didn't stand there doing nothing. You told them to shut it when they called me a 'dirty shav' in whispers behind their fans in the salons. You taught me etiquette that you didn't bother with most days so I didn't make a fool of myself in social situations. Most importantly, you let me call you friend.
I am still here because you have taken blows for me, watched my back in battle. We have sparred many occasion for the joy of the blade. There are many stories I could share on this amazing champion. The one that jumps to mind is the time you entered a group melee with not a stick of cloth on your body and beat us all to a bloody pulp to come out the winner. I sat there in the sand, seeing way too much of him, marveling at his skill with the sword.
Yes, the steel one in his hand. Damn it! Stop laughing. This was supposed to be a nice send off. Luca...it's all your fault.
Written By Marian
April 19, 2019, 5:24 a.m.(12/13/1010 AR)
"Momma don't go..." my little angel told me the other day as I prepared Nia for sleep with my sword and armor laid out for another patrol.
I gave her a surprised look, "Nia, it's just a patrol."
"People go. They don't come back," She told me with a look that speaks well beyond her little years. I felt a little stab in my heart as I understood that my daughter is aware of the dangers I face every time I pick up my sword.
"I'm still here," I reassured her, placing a gentle hand on her brow, "And I shall fight to return to your side always."
I wish I could offer deeper reassurance to my daughter that I shall never fall against our enemies. I don't think it's wise to lie, even if it's to spare her feelings. Instead I reminded her just how fierce her mother is. She looked back at me and told me that I was her hero. I felt as if the gods had blessed me with the most precious of gifts, my daughter's trust.
An old memory of myself having a similar conversation with my own father came to mind. And I realized that maybe, just maybe I'm doing something right here.
I gave her a surprised look, "Nia, it's just a patrol."
"People go. They don't come back," She told me with a look that speaks well beyond her little years. I felt a little stab in my heart as I understood that my daughter is aware of the dangers I face every time I pick up my sword.
"I'm still here," I reassured her, placing a gentle hand on her brow, "And I shall fight to return to your side always."
I wish I could offer deeper reassurance to my daughter that I shall never fall against our enemies. I don't think it's wise to lie, even if it's to spare her feelings. Instead I reminded her just how fierce her mother is. She looked back at me and told me that I was her hero. I felt as if the gods had blessed me with the most precious of gifts, my daughter's trust.
An old memory of myself having a similar conversation with my own father came to mind. And I realized that maybe, just maybe I'm doing something right here.
Written By Marian
April 14, 2019, 9:13 p.m.(12/4/1010 AR)
My birthday is less than a month away...where does the time go?
Written By Marian
April 11, 2019, 12:23 a.m.(11/25/1010 AR)
Relationship Note on Joscelin
It's not always easy to find the 'perfect' gift, so sometimes you have to commission it from a skilled crafter. I have to say, I am very pleased at the design that Guildmaster Joscelin sent over. My sister's excitement at the precious stag brooch proved I was indeed correct in trusting her to craft this jewelry for me.
Written By Marian
April 10, 2019, 4:11 p.m.(11/24/1010 AR)
Relationship Note on Monique
Happy birthday my little sister. Enjoy the day and make it yours.
Written By Marian
April 3, 2019, 2:13 a.m.(11/9/1010 AR)
Relationship Note on Eleyna
The world is a darker place without your light to shine the way. I never expected to adore you. In fact, the first time we met, I was pretty sure we were polar opposites. You were so elegant and well-spoken. You knew how to command the room with your laugh. The parlor was your battlefield and your wit was razor sharp. You slayed others with your wicked fashion sense. You were always three steps in front of anyone else in your sphere.
I don't know what to tell your husband. His love for you rivals my own for my dear Fergus. My loss was so swift, so unexpected. While he had got savour the last few weeks by your side. I don't know who is luckier. I don't know how to ease that loss. Because what I am feeling now is a fraction of his well of emotions. You always knew what to say. I don't have that gift. I can only offer my deep condolences for his soul shattering loss.
When you were provoked, there was a glory to your rage. Your passion for life eclipsed everything. It filled the room with its terrible beauty. The only one that could stand in the face of that sun burst and not be destroyed was that man who loved you in all your forms.
I will miss your letters. The silent exchanges in ink and parchment. After Fergus died, I stopped writing. The well was dry for me. I couldn't parry in prose anymore. I regret that my grief put distance. Because I didn't know. I didn't have a chance to prepare for this ache that now resonates.
There will never be another quite like you.
I don't know what to tell your husband. His love for you rivals my own for my dear Fergus. My loss was so swift, so unexpected. While he had got savour the last few weeks by your side. I don't know who is luckier. I don't know how to ease that loss. Because what I am feeling now is a fraction of his well of emotions. You always knew what to say. I don't have that gift. I can only offer my deep condolences for his soul shattering loss.
When you were provoked, there was a glory to your rage. Your passion for life eclipsed everything. It filled the room with its terrible beauty. The only one that could stand in the face of that sun burst and not be destroyed was that man who loved you in all your forms.
I will miss your letters. The silent exchanges in ink and parchment. After Fergus died, I stopped writing. The well was dry for me. I couldn't parry in prose anymore. I regret that my grief put distance. Because I didn't know. I didn't have a chance to prepare for this ache that now resonates.
There will never be another quite like you.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.