Written By Alban
March 16, 2018, 12:18 a.m.(5/14/1008 AR)
I am twisted and torn every time I speak to you. I thought I had left it all behind, that I would allow pain to become empty space, for love to turn to hate at how I was treated.
Now this.
I am lost again, at the worst time to be lost, uncertain.
I cannot think about this now, I have to much work to do.
But I will never like him.
Now this.
I am lost again, at the worst time to be lost, uncertain.
I cannot think about this now, I have to much work to do.
But I will never like him.
Written By Alban
March 14, 2018, 4:35 p.m.(5/11/1008 AR)
I have many thoughts, but most of them do not make it to the whites. I have found that when I write things down for public consumption, the context is lost and people assume far differently than what I meant.
I am told that Limerance has a path for us all, that in the end what is right will be right.
I just wonder why that path must be so rocky. Why there must be so many pitfalls. So much pain.
Every time I begin to feel love for another, they are taken from me.
In a way I am glad we finally march on Stormwall, for soon I will not have time to think of much anything but killing, or being killed.
I am told that Limerance has a path for us all, that in the end what is right will be right.
I just wonder why that path must be so rocky. Why there must be so many pitfalls. So much pain.
Every time I begin to feel love for another, they are taken from me.
In a way I am glad we finally march on Stormwall, for soon I will not have time to think of much anything but killing, or being killed.
Written By Alban
March 10, 2018, 8:24 p.m.(5/4/1008 AR)
Trust.
It is more than a word. I take you into my confidence and you repay me by breaking that confidence without so much as a by your leave.
Trust is now broken.
Once broken...
Lesson. Learned.
It is more than a word. I take you into my confidence and you repay me by breaking that confidence without so much as a by your leave.
Trust is now broken.
Once broken...
Lesson. Learned.
Written By Alban
March 5, 2018, 4:36 p.m.(4/21/1008 AR)
I now hate every damned messenger in Arx.
Every.
Single.
One.
Every.
Single.
One.
Written By Alban
March 5, 2018, 4:27 p.m.(4/21/1008 AR)
I knew happiness. True happiness.
I had to hide it else it be broken.
Now, on the eve of War, when we March to our fates and the fate of Arx itself, possibly even the compact I am crushed.
Why am I not good enough? I am a Lord. I am Noble Born. I am a Minister of War. I am a Knight. I am the Voice of my House. I am a Disciple of Gloria.
It is not enough.
It is for her but not, apparently, for her House.
I have no more words.
I march to the Hell of War. With Hell already inside me.
I had to hide it else it be broken.
Now, on the eve of War, when we March to our fates and the fate of Arx itself, possibly even the compact I am crushed.
Why am I not good enough? I am a Lord. I am Noble Born. I am a Minister of War. I am a Knight. I am the Voice of my House. I am a Disciple of Gloria.
It is not enough.
It is for her but not, apparently, for her House.
I have no more words.
I march to the Hell of War. With Hell already inside me.
Written By Alban
March 4, 2018, 12:57 p.m.(4/19/1008 AR)
I still do not know what to do. This city is a trial I think, Gloria tests me, but Limerance is true. It makes it difficult.
How do I reconcile this and make /this/ work?
How do I reconcile this and make /this/ work?
Written By Alban
March 4, 2018, 12:29 p.m.(4/19/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Derovai
Arrogant. Rude. Overcharges. The /set/ on this man, just begging to be reminded of why he is what he is, and we are what we are.
Written By Alban
March 4, 2018, 12:27 p.m.(4/19/1008 AR)
A night on the top of the wall, with no armor, and only a light blanket.
Why does he think the no armor is a hindrance or something? The last thing I want is my breastplate freezing and metal sucking in the cold and giving me frostbite.
Most expensive cold night ever.
Why did I /pay/ for this again?
Why does he think the no armor is a hindrance or something? The last thing I want is my breastplate freezing and metal sucking in the cold and giving me frostbite.
Most expensive cold night ever.
Why did I /pay/ for this again?
Written By Alban
Feb. 24, 2018, 2:40 p.m.(4/3/1008 AR)
To add more madness to the mix, I find myself torn between duty, faith, and the pangs of the heart. I must focus this into a desire to succeed, so that I may see it through to the end instead of allow it to scatter my thoughts to the wind, distract me from what I must do. If only I could put her out of my mind...
Written By Alban
Feb. 24, 2018, 2:38 p.m.(4/3/1008 AR)
I find myself burdened more than I have ever been, but I must rise to the challenge, I must be the support that my Family and my People need during this trying time. I must be up to the task. There are no other options... None. At all.
Written By Alban
Feb. 24, 2018, 2:30 p.m.(4/3/1008 AR)
Why is it that when everything seems to be moving forwards, suddenly it all falls off the rails? There is a law I am told, that the worst thing that can happen, most likely will happen. A good thing to plan for when it comes to War, better to be overprepared than underprepared. Not so useful when it comes to family...
Written By Alban
Feb. 12, 2018, 4:45 p.m.(3/1/1008 AR)
Relationship Note on Elsbetta
My Cousin. As much a Knight as I or any other, though her field be the political, and her weapon her words, her shield her wits. Woe to any whom would harm her.
Written By Alban
Feb. 12, 2018, 2:02 a.m.(2/28/1008 AR)
I have met with several Archlectors in as many days. Perhaps it is a sign I am on the right path. I know not what to make of the past, but I can only at this time focus on the future. Which path should I follow? The path I have always followed, or another far less certain one? All I know is that I cannot abandon those who count on me. I will not abandon who I am.
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