Written By Aiden
June 12, 2017, 5:42 a.m.(8/20/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Ainsley
I am the snitch. Better Ailys than to mother.
Written By Aiden
June 11, 2017, 7:20 p.m.(8/19/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Magpie
The magpie exhibit has been built exceptionally fast!
They're the first birds to move into the aviary at the menagerie, which is still under construction.
This is exciting! Thank you Magpie Grayhope!
They're the first birds to move into the aviary at the menagerie, which is still under construction.
This is exciting! Thank you Magpie Grayhope!
Written By Aiden
June 11, 2017, 4:24 p.m.(8/19/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Kahlana
I have heard that your ship failed to dock as anticipated and they tell me that you're considered lost at sea...
This breaks my heart, to know that you're lost out there... I want to go searching for you, though have been advised not to risk it.
Still I would have thought you as a friend, even if I didn't get to know you as well as I thought I would have the chance to...
Chances end so soon...
I had hoped you would have found someone to show you the wonderful side of life that you had thought to have shared with me.
I'll never forget you and I'll always watch the horizon in hopes to see your ships flag returning to Arx...
Until it does, farewell Lady Kahlana.
This breaks my heart, to know that you're lost out there... I want to go searching for you, though have been advised not to risk it.
Still I would have thought you as a friend, even if I didn't get to know you as well as I thought I would have the chance to...
Chances end so soon...
I had hoped you would have found someone to show you the wonderful side of life that you had thought to have shared with me.
I'll never forget you and I'll always watch the horizon in hopes to see your ships flag returning to Arx...
Until it does, farewell Lady Kahlana.
Written By Aiden
June 11, 2017, 3:42 p.m.(8/19/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Estaban
While I empathize with you, I'm glad that you felt you could come to us. Remember our advice and six months from now, it won't hurt as much.
Written By Aiden
June 8, 2017, 10:23 a.m.(8/12/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Dominic
I never thought that I would join such a group and it'll be interesting to see where it goes.
Written By Aiden
June 5, 2017, 4:21 p.m.(8/7/1006 AR)
There many exciting opportunities to get involved with the Menagerie Revitalization Project, that I'm happy to include the community in, as the space will be yours in the end, so why not add your touch to it?
Tonight I'll be hosting a sponsorship night, a very casual soft opening since many of the areas of the park are still in various stages of construction. Feel free to come down and look around at the future of the menagerie and learn about the opportunities to get your name associated with a place to relax or an exhibit to look at. Sponsors, I'm hoping to see you tonight or sometime this week to register your intent of design with me so I can pass it on the architects! For everyone else, you may be interested in entering the Water Fountain contest! I'm asking the public to come up with their best ideas for the center piece fountain within the main plaza and then the sponsors (all levels) will vote on the best one!
Other than that, I'm hosting a masquerade with the aid of Maquessa Deepwood to lift spirits, bring some joy to everyone for a night, and generally have fun while all efforts continue to go to the menagerie - and what doesn't will be donated to a charitable cause. Don't leave your mask to the last minute, it promises to be a great time!
Tonight I'll be hosting a sponsorship night, a very casual soft opening since many of the areas of the park are still in various stages of construction. Feel free to come down and look around at the future of the menagerie and learn about the opportunities to get your name associated with a place to relax or an exhibit to look at. Sponsors, I'm hoping to see you tonight or sometime this week to register your intent of design with me so I can pass it on the architects! For everyone else, you may be interested in entering the Water Fountain contest! I'm asking the public to come up with their best ideas for the center piece fountain within the main plaza and then the sponsors (all levels) will vote on the best one!
Other than that, I'm hosting a masquerade with the aid of Maquessa Deepwood to lift spirits, bring some joy to everyone for a night, and generally have fun while all efforts continue to go to the menagerie - and what doesn't will be donated to a charitable cause. Don't leave your mask to the last minute, it promises to be a great time!
Written By Aiden
June 4, 2017, 1:27 p.m.(8/4/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Silas
6/13/1006 AR. A day I'll cherish for life.
Written By Aiden
June 4, 2017, 5:29 a.m.(8/3/1006 AR)
I promised not to write in the white journals anymore, however that was a promise against Vellichor and against my heart. Somethings must be written to be released from the soul.
I am awake, unable to sleep. This is not unusual. It happens more often since the siege, especially when I'm alone. The memories of what I experienced come back and haunt my dreams. What if the Bringer in the Hall of Heroes had squeezed his hand around my neck a little tighter and all those people weren't there, my cousin Barric, Silas, Merek and many more whose faces blur when I try to recall that horrible moment? What if Orazio couldn't stop what was transpiring in the Queensrest and what if that man who knifed me in the back had hit somewhere vital? What if the thug had dragged his knife deep into my throat and all those Iron Guards and Mercenaries weren't there to stop him? What if that chair or that ... gods forbid, woman... hit me the right way when a Bringer flung them at me? What if Ainsley wasn't there to catch me when I fell off that balcony? What if... Estaban failed to jump into action? What if... the people I loved, didn't come home?
Should I be ashamed of these thoughts that wake me at night? I don't think so. For each of them remind me how precious life is. How precious the conviction of our family, friends, and our lovers are. It reminds me of how I am not alone, even if in the present physical I am. No. I am not ashamed. For these memories remind me of each and every person who has touched my life. With bad, there is always a balance of good and the good is that, my life is so much fuller for it.
Speaking of bad and the returning of good, my mind turns back to hearing Limerance's words spoken through his chosen, his Archlector. It is my hopes that when I write them, I will further remember them and live by these words. Here's what I recall most:
---
Like all things worth doing, though, it will take effort. As they say, nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight- and the love of family is something worth fighting for.
Strength of heart, of faith, of love can lead to as much greatness as strength of arms. Do not be ashamed of who and what you are, and who you love. If they think you a failure, the fault lies with them, not with you- for who would wish upon their own family the joyless life of following a path that is not your own? Do not think yourself a failure. You are who you are- and no one else can be who you are. Embrace your path with an open heart, let your love light the way, and you will *soar*.
Love is not an obligation, nor is it a chain. That we may love someone does not mean that they must, in turn, love us in the same way. And if you are to be loved, let yourself be loved for who you are- not for what someone else wants you to be. If you change yourself so that another may love you... what kind of love is that? If they love what you forced yourself to be, not who you truly are, then do they really love you, or just the image you presented? It is a sure path to misery, and I would not wish that upon anyone.
There is another love that many people forget, but it is an important one: it is the love of the self. You must love yourself. If you cannot look at yourself and love the person you are, then how could you hope others would love that person too? And if they do love that person, do they really love *you*? Love yourself, Aiden. Be the man you are meant to be, in your heart. With Limerance's grace, your family will love that person too- they will see what you see, the beauty and wonder of a life lived true to one's own self. But even if they do not- if they cannot see past their selfishness and expectations... love yourself regardless. Because your love for them is not an obligation, and trying to live as if it was, will bring you misery. It will not be easy, but you are not alone.
---
Those were words I needed to hear, the good I needed to hear. I needed to write anew to believe in them, and needed to embrace them. I wanted very much to be a private man, to keep my thoughts to myself, for some will certainly ruffle feathers. Then I remembered, it is my truth, these words. These are my reflections, drawn from my experiences.
I have shared and lived through horrible experiences with all of you, experiences I never wanted or sought. Yes, these experiences changed me, how could they not? I saw. I came to the city for the love of my brother, to help him find himself again when he had locked himself away in grief. I remained in the city not of my own will once he rose up again, instead I remained for the will of circumstance, and after the siege, I remain because of love. Love for my family, my friends, and importantly, for love for someone I have cherished from the first moment he tolerated me falling asleep on him.
The bad led me to the good. Without all that bad, I wouldn't have the good. I would still be in Bastion, living a quiet life, hidden amongst the mews and the tangles of the forest. I would not have met all my friends, nor seen the valor of my family, nor, met my first love. There's so much good, if you can manage the bad. For both in equal are a part of our lives.
So I say this, for I hear many rumors and feel that many of you believe in truths that no longer remain.
I love my brother. My journal calling him out was a misunderstanding and one that was written when I had a night of Crow's Rum to thank. I have not touched the stuff since - very good though, if you need to get drunk fast, that's the stuff. In any case. I submitted my apologies to my brother. Our challenge ahead will be between us, to learn and understand who've we've become, who we are now. That we are different people, changed by what we've experienced. We are brothers and brothers, quarrel. If people tell you that brothers don't fight, they lie. Hurts will pass. New understandings will form. Love has always been there.
Then, there is the great need for people to know my business of love and sharing my heart. So I will reveal it so that I may no longer be of subject of whispers and campaigns of rumors. What you may have heard is true. I am with Silas Whitehawk, we became something more than friends sometime after the siege. Be happy for us, for it is a rare thing to be accepted fully and utterly by a fellow human. I've only known animals to love unconditionally. Silas changed my way of thinking in that regard. He's never asked anything of me, shares everything with me, and we're happy - he makes me happy. Was it meant to be kept secret? No. It was never secret, we never denied it, perhaps I may have indicated that a certain book that made us into fictional characters, which isn't the same thing as denying it, for that book isn't truthful but a work of imagination, clearly. I'm no soldier.
What I am is a private man and I told my close friends when it came time for them to know, for I suspected they already knew or were eager to ask. I didn't tell my siblings at the time because we weren't very close, not in the same way that my friends are close, which is why I reacted the way I did in my previous journal despite the liquor. I was upset that I felt so disconnected from family. That is something I may very well work on, if they choose to do the same.
I am content with the good and the bad in my life, though there is much less the latter. I have so much to be grateful for and so much to give back to those around me and those in my life. The menagerie is just one way I hope to give back for all the good in my life. I hope to find more ways, soon. I know who I am now and what I'm capable of. It's time I find out how far I can go and how I can help the Arvum, or more simply, those who come into my life.
I am Aiden Grayson: bird geek animal enthusiast who enjoys tea, doesn't eat meat, likes yellow silk, steel-gray pants, and hugs a plush polar bear... and treasures a glass parrot and a metal dove! There's a lot more to me, for now...
...I am happy with that.
I am awake, unable to sleep. This is not unusual. It happens more often since the siege, especially when I'm alone. The memories of what I experienced come back and haunt my dreams. What if the Bringer in the Hall of Heroes had squeezed his hand around my neck a little tighter and all those people weren't there, my cousin Barric, Silas, Merek and many more whose faces blur when I try to recall that horrible moment? What if Orazio couldn't stop what was transpiring in the Queensrest and what if that man who knifed me in the back had hit somewhere vital? What if the thug had dragged his knife deep into my throat and all those Iron Guards and Mercenaries weren't there to stop him? What if that chair or that ... gods forbid, woman... hit me the right way when a Bringer flung them at me? What if Ainsley wasn't there to catch me when I fell off that balcony? What if... Estaban failed to jump into action? What if... the people I loved, didn't come home?
Should I be ashamed of these thoughts that wake me at night? I don't think so. For each of them remind me how precious life is. How precious the conviction of our family, friends, and our lovers are. It reminds me of how I am not alone, even if in the present physical I am. No. I am not ashamed. For these memories remind me of each and every person who has touched my life. With bad, there is always a balance of good and the good is that, my life is so much fuller for it.
Speaking of bad and the returning of good, my mind turns back to hearing Limerance's words spoken through his chosen, his Archlector. It is my hopes that when I write them, I will further remember them and live by these words. Here's what I recall most:
---
Like all things worth doing, though, it will take effort. As they say, nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight- and the love of family is something worth fighting for.
Strength of heart, of faith, of love can lead to as much greatness as strength of arms. Do not be ashamed of who and what you are, and who you love. If they think you a failure, the fault lies with them, not with you- for who would wish upon their own family the joyless life of following a path that is not your own? Do not think yourself a failure. You are who you are- and no one else can be who you are. Embrace your path with an open heart, let your love light the way, and you will *soar*.
Love is not an obligation, nor is it a chain. That we may love someone does not mean that they must, in turn, love us in the same way. And if you are to be loved, let yourself be loved for who you are- not for what someone else wants you to be. If you change yourself so that another may love you... what kind of love is that? If they love what you forced yourself to be, not who you truly are, then do they really love you, or just the image you presented? It is a sure path to misery, and I would not wish that upon anyone.
There is another love that many people forget, but it is an important one: it is the love of the self. You must love yourself. If you cannot look at yourself and love the person you are, then how could you hope others would love that person too? And if they do love that person, do they really love *you*? Love yourself, Aiden. Be the man you are meant to be, in your heart. With Limerance's grace, your family will love that person too- they will see what you see, the beauty and wonder of a life lived true to one's own self. But even if they do not- if they cannot see past their selfishness and expectations... love yourself regardless. Because your love for them is not an obligation, and trying to live as if it was, will bring you misery. It will not be easy, but you are not alone.
---
Those were words I needed to hear, the good I needed to hear. I needed to write anew to believe in them, and needed to embrace them. I wanted very much to be a private man, to keep my thoughts to myself, for some will certainly ruffle feathers. Then I remembered, it is my truth, these words. These are my reflections, drawn from my experiences.
I have shared and lived through horrible experiences with all of you, experiences I never wanted or sought. Yes, these experiences changed me, how could they not? I saw. I came to the city for the love of my brother, to help him find himself again when he had locked himself away in grief. I remained in the city not of my own will once he rose up again, instead I remained for the will of circumstance, and after the siege, I remain because of love. Love for my family, my friends, and importantly, for love for someone I have cherished from the first moment he tolerated me falling asleep on him.
The bad led me to the good. Without all that bad, I wouldn't have the good. I would still be in Bastion, living a quiet life, hidden amongst the mews and the tangles of the forest. I would not have met all my friends, nor seen the valor of my family, nor, met my first love. There's so much good, if you can manage the bad. For both in equal are a part of our lives.
So I say this, for I hear many rumors and feel that many of you believe in truths that no longer remain.
I love my brother. My journal calling him out was a misunderstanding and one that was written when I had a night of Crow's Rum to thank. I have not touched the stuff since - very good though, if you need to get drunk fast, that's the stuff. In any case. I submitted my apologies to my brother. Our challenge ahead will be between us, to learn and understand who've we've become, who we are now. That we are different people, changed by what we've experienced. We are brothers and brothers, quarrel. If people tell you that brothers don't fight, they lie. Hurts will pass. New understandings will form. Love has always been there.
Then, there is the great need for people to know my business of love and sharing my heart. So I will reveal it so that I may no longer be of subject of whispers and campaigns of rumors. What you may have heard is true. I am with Silas Whitehawk, we became something more than friends sometime after the siege. Be happy for us, for it is a rare thing to be accepted fully and utterly by a fellow human. I've only known animals to love unconditionally. Silas changed my way of thinking in that regard. He's never asked anything of me, shares everything with me, and we're happy - he makes me happy. Was it meant to be kept secret? No. It was never secret, we never denied it, perhaps I may have indicated that a certain book that made us into fictional characters, which isn't the same thing as denying it, for that book isn't truthful but a work of imagination, clearly. I'm no soldier.
What I am is a private man and I told my close friends when it came time for them to know, for I suspected they already knew or were eager to ask. I didn't tell my siblings at the time because we weren't very close, not in the same way that my friends are close, which is why I reacted the way I did in my previous journal despite the liquor. I was upset that I felt so disconnected from family. That is something I may very well work on, if they choose to do the same.
I am content with the good and the bad in my life, though there is much less the latter. I have so much to be grateful for and so much to give back to those around me and those in my life. The menagerie is just one way I hope to give back for all the good in my life. I hope to find more ways, soon. I know who I am now and what I'm capable of. It's time I find out how far I can go and how I can help the Arvum, or more simply, those who come into my life.
I am Aiden Grayson: bird geek animal enthusiast who enjoys tea, doesn't eat meat, likes yellow silk, steel-gray pants, and hugs a plush polar bear... and treasures a glass parrot and a metal dove! There's a lot more to me, for now...
...I am happy with that.
Written By Aiden
June 1, 2017, 6:23 p.m.(7/26/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Ilvin
I can confirm, he has cookies!
The prayer to Limerance was sweeter than them, though.
The prayer to Limerance was sweeter than them, though.
Written By Aiden
May 29, 2017, 1:36 p.m.(7/19/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Ilvin
You listened without judgement. You advised without opinion. I will carry your words with me.
Written By Aiden
May 23, 2017, 12:12 a.m.(7/6/1006 AR)
I will no longer write white journals. My memories will be with my friends and family.
In need to protect a loved one, I've insulted another.
It will end here.
In need to protect a loved one, I've insulted another.
It will end here.
Written By Aiden
May 21, 2017, 11:54 p.m.(7/4/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Ainsley
You proclaimed you were done with coddling me. So be done with it! I have grown up as you wanted. I have taken on responsibilities and become a part of this community. So who I spend my spare moments with is no longer your concern. If you feel it otherwise, we'll be waiting to talk to you, but if you take this to swords, I'll have no choice but to pick up a blade myself...!
Written By Aiden
May 21, 2017, 4:42 p.m.(7/3/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Tikva
She bid on me at auction... and won. I'm not sure what to expect.
Written By Aiden
May 21, 2017, 4:34 p.m.(7/3/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Valerion
It wasn't your fault. As I always said Cousin, girls are weird. The trip we're going to take will help get your mind off things for a while. The world is so vast and there are so many people in it. You'll get through this.
Written By Aiden
May 21, 2017, 4:28 p.m.(7/3/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Arcelia
I would marry you, if such possibilities were broached. You are a fine woman and I do think you'll have no trouble finding a good match for your House. I hope you do not look terribly on me for changing my outlook on love. Even so, I think the trip we're all planning will be well worth it, for a break away from Arx and in spending more quality time together with our friends.
Written By Aiden
May 21, 2017, 4:25 p.m.(7/3/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Estaban
You are the finest quality of a friend. I do hope you can secure us a ship. I think we all need the break from the city.
Written By Aiden
May 20, 2017, 4:55 p.m.(7/1/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Orazio
You heard my concerns and eased my troubles. We are all fortunate to have you as Legate, the Dominus more so.
Thank you Orazio.
Thank you Orazio.
Written By Aiden
May 19, 2017, 6:32 p.m.(6/28/1006 AR)
I cannot allow my disappointment in a few people to outshine recent events.
I will write of happier news.
The fundraiser was a resounding success and I believe my next few days will be spent getting my fingers stained with ink as many many thank you letters must be written out! We shall have a Menagerie like no other in the Compact, thanks to everyone who has donated and continues to do so. The timeline for the construction is yet to be determined but it will be as swiftly as we can possibly spare good hard working men and women away from other humanitarian causes, such of one, that I've volunteered for -- goodness help me! Larissa's organization of the Menagerie fundraiser entertainment has prompted me to support her own cause. Wish me luck!
Together, the people of Arx will rebuild.
I will write of happier news.
The fundraiser was a resounding success and I believe my next few days will be spent getting my fingers stained with ink as many many thank you letters must be written out! We shall have a Menagerie like no other in the Compact, thanks to everyone who has donated and continues to do so. The timeline for the construction is yet to be determined but it will be as swiftly as we can possibly spare good hard working men and women away from other humanitarian causes, such of one, that I've volunteered for -- goodness help me! Larissa's organization of the Menagerie fundraiser entertainment has prompted me to support her own cause. Wish me luck!
Together, the people of Arx will rebuild.
Written By Aiden
May 18, 2017, 8 p.m.(6/26/1006 AR)
On with the fundraiser...!
Here goes nothing... !!
Here goes nothing... !!
Written By Aiden
May 17, 2017, 2:18 a.m.(6/22/1006 AR)
I begin to realize the truth of people.
When someone approaches you, that has never spoken to you before on a personal level, only to come at you with finger waggling and lecturing tones, that there is nothing you could say to change their opinions about you. They've already decided who you are and what you've done before they've approached. They aren't really interested in you at all. Or the truth.
I find it sad.
Animals are easier. Birds simple.
People. I don't know what to do about people.
When someone approaches you, that has never spoken to you before on a personal level, only to come at you with finger waggling and lecturing tones, that there is nothing you could say to change their opinions about you. They've already decided who you are and what you've done before they've approached. They aren't really interested in you at all. Or the truth.
I find it sad.
Animals are easier. Birds simple.
People. I don't know what to do about people.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.