Written By Tyrus
Aug. 10, 2022, 11:46 p.m.(3/5/1018 AR)
Today brought two unexpected things.
One was preaching the virtues of Limerance quite unintentionally.
The other was weaponizing the term "neutral" to great effect.
I wonder what tomorrow will bring.
One was preaching the virtues of Limerance quite unintentionally.
The other was weaponizing the term "neutral" to great effect.
I wonder what tomorrow will bring.
Written By Tyrus
Aug. 10, 2022, 8:58 p.m.(3/5/1018 AR)
"I will find you."
I spent the last three years trying to hold true to my last promise to you. Three years to have made myself a liar.
I still wake up to the feeling of your hand slipping from mine. Of watching you fall overboard with Aelia.
I don't think those dreams are ever going away.
Not so long as I have one last promise to keep.
I will find you.
I spent the last three years trying to hold true to my last promise to you. Three years to have made myself a liar.
I still wake up to the feeling of your hand slipping from mine. Of watching you fall overboard with Aelia.
I don't think those dreams are ever going away.
Not so long as I have one last promise to keep.
I will find you.
Written By Tyrus
Aug. 5, 2022, 9:50 a.m.(2/22/1018 AR)
I have chosen to paint again. Yet as I look upon my previous work with eyes that have not seen them for the last three years, I am moved by the temptation to destroy many of them and create something better. Some truths lose their subtleties when exposed under garish light, and I find there is a lack of purpose in some of these pieces that do not sit well with me.
To destroy the work of the man I was then, or to preserve it and expose the change from the man I am now? These paintings shall not be seen until I have answered that question.
To destroy the work of the man I was then, or to preserve it and expose the change from the man I am now? These paintings shall not be seen until I have answered that question.
Written By Tyrus
Aug. 5, 2022, 9:33 a.m.(2/22/1018 AR)
Relationship Note on Aureth
A chance encounter with the Dominus of the Faith led to my being inspired by his example, mainly to consider my relationship to the Gods of the Pantheon, and in so doing, better understand them and myself.
It is an exercise that will take time, for while answers easily leap to mind for some of the Gods, they often change as I consider them for longer, until they're revealed to be but just a small aspect of the whole answer.
I can understand the ascetic seeking distance from the distractions of the mundane world to focus entirely upon finding these answers. Yet I believe that in doing so, in cutting off the rest of the world in all its complexity, one loses much of the complexity associated to the Gods and the many ways they've shaped our world and the people that fill it.
Then again, I am no Godsworn, nor a devotee who could claim having spent years studying theology. Merely a man musing over entities by far his greater, wondering at their mysteries.
It is an exercise that will take time, for while answers easily leap to mind for some of the Gods, they often change as I consider them for longer, until they're revealed to be but just a small aspect of the whole answer.
I can understand the ascetic seeking distance from the distractions of the mundane world to focus entirely upon finding these answers. Yet I believe that in doing so, in cutting off the rest of the world in all its complexity, one loses much of the complexity associated to the Gods and the many ways they've shaped our world and the people that fill it.
Then again, I am no Godsworn, nor a devotee who could claim having spent years studying theology. Merely a man musing over entities by far his greater, wondering at their mysteries.
Written By Tyrus
Aug. 2, 2022, 9:03 p.m.(2/17/1018 AR)
A sailor always watches the stars when they sail, for they can be their friend more so than even the sun. Yet I've come to look upon the shooting stars in a different light than I once did. What was once a short-lived distraction, a moment of awe and beauty soon gone, has become something more profound. The final flight of the forlorn.
It ends now as it always does, light fading into darkness. I always watch for a bit longer, part of me hoping that my eyes deceived me, that perhaps there's still some glimmer of light somewhere, further away. There never is.
Beautiful, as only tragedy can be.
It ends now as it always does, light fading into darkness. I always watch for a bit longer, part of me hoping that my eyes deceived me, that perhaps there's still some glimmer of light somewhere, further away. There never is.
Beautiful, as only tragedy can be.
Written By Tyrus
Aug. 1, 2022, 11:11 p.m.(2/15/1018 AR)
As I look upon the paintings that were left behind when I departed, the purpose behind their existence returns to me. Funny, how you can be gone for years, only for it all to come back to you, like a tidal wave upon unsuspecting shore.
Written By Tyrus
July 31, 2022, 5:40 p.m.(2/13/1018 AR)
I have returned to find the Mourning Isles amidst another civil war. I know not the reasons why, though I need not know them to know what I must do.
Tears in our wake, never at our wake.
Tears in our wake, never at our wake.
Written By Tyrus
May 1, 2021, 12:11 a.m.(5/22/1015 AR)
It was good to see their weapons turned against them. Not as good as looking upon their broken corpses, though.
Written By Tyrus
Feb. 26, 2021, 10:33 a.m.(1/7/1015 AR)
Relationship Note on Viviana
It seems to me finding both in the same person would be the most interesting.
Written By Tyrus
Feb. 24, 2021, 2:27 p.m.(1/3/1015 AR)
Relationship Note on Sina
The first time I met Sina was when I killed her father and sunk his ship to the bottom of the sea. He was a pirate and his execution the proper punishment for his crimes.
Yet his daughter was not guilty of the crimes of the father. I took her back to Maelstrom, where she found her place within the staff. I missed the years that saw her become a Godsworn and Archscholar, having returned when she had already become all these things.
Now, she is dead. Another name to add to the evergrowing list. Another to remember. Another.
May her future beginnings prove happier.
Yet his daughter was not guilty of the crimes of the father. I took her back to Maelstrom, where she found her place within the staff. I missed the years that saw her become a Godsworn and Archscholar, having returned when she had already become all these things.
Now, she is dead. Another name to add to the evergrowing list. Another to remember. Another.
May her future beginnings prove happier.
Written By Tyrus
Feb. 9, 2021, 12:45 p.m.(11/26/1014 AR)
Four paintings made in nearly as many days. That will be all for now, at least on that particular subject.
I've put off another for long enough.
I've put off another for long enough.
Written By Tyrus
Feb. 5, 2021, 11:32 p.m.(11/19/1014 AR)
I've taken to painting.
The things I've painted so far are unlikely to bring peace to anyone. They are not the kind of things that one gazes at to be happy, to bring their mind some respite from the chaos of their own life. They are not things that should belong in one's life.
But they bring me peace. As I look upon the result of my work, I dare say I am even happy. For after grasping at ill-fitting words to describe, to have painted it, to have found another way to describe that which has till now only been an amalgam of ill-fitting words... It is relief.
I have one more work in mind, though whether it is sculpture or painting, I'm not sure yet. One more, and then I shall devote myself on that which makes me human. A collection on loss.
The things I've painted so far are unlikely to bring peace to anyone. They are not the kind of things that one gazes at to be happy, to bring their mind some respite from the chaos of their own life. They are not things that should belong in one's life.
But they bring me peace. As I look upon the result of my work, I dare say I am even happy. For after grasping at ill-fitting words to describe, to have painted it, to have found another way to describe that which has till now only been an amalgam of ill-fitting words... It is relief.
I have one more work in mind, though whether it is sculpture or painting, I'm not sure yet. One more, and then I shall devote myself on that which makes me human. A collection on loss.
Written By Tyrus
Dec. 28, 2020, 12:22 p.m.(8/24/1014 AR)
As storms gather on the horizon, as those we love, that which we cherish, are touched by the shadows of things to come, it is easy to let ourselves be overwhelmed by the fears and anxieties of what might follow, what might happen. What if they die? What if we all die? What if, worse, we live on but the world we know has fallen? What if all these years of pain and suffering was for naught?
What if we failed?
These questions, these dreads, can often lead to inaction. If one believes them, if one accepts them, then what's the point? Why do anything at all? Why try to change anything? Why not simply leave it as is, let other wills and beliefs shape the Dream, waste their time and effort in something doomed to fall?
Yet tell me, when your end comes, do you prefer returning to the Wheel having done nothing, having changed nothing, with for sole satisfaction the pride that you, at least, did not bother trying knowing the outcome? Or do you want to look back at all that you have achieved, all that we, together, have changed, even knowing it will, one day, end? Knowing that as every dream, we must eventually wake?
I will not live this existence in apathy. The Dream is ours to shape and change, so let us make it the best Dream it could be. Let us not be contended with half measures and passable choices. Let us build something magnificent, something that, when lost, will have meant something greater than mere indifference. Something that will have mattered. Even if it's difficult, even if we fall and fail, even as the burdens grow heavier as to force us to our knees. Even knowing that one way or another, there must be an end.
Enemies gather on the horizon. Others are already here. Some to shape the Dream to their own vision of perfection, others simply to destroy, end it all. Yet though an end may inevitably follow a beginning, is this it? Is this to be the sum of our achievements? Is this to be the crowning jewel of all that we could create, all that we could be? Is this what we have sacrificed for?
When you return to the Wheel, will you be content with it being your legacy?
No. Not for me, nor for many of you. Failure may await us, but let the notion not be a chain holding you back, but fuel to your fire, motivation to act. Some among us will die in the days ahead. Others in the months and years that follow. There is no escaping it. So let us make our lives worth something. Success or failure, let our actions serve to create the best Dream we could achieve.
And let us never forget those who sacrificed everything to make it so.
What if we failed?
These questions, these dreads, can often lead to inaction. If one believes them, if one accepts them, then what's the point? Why do anything at all? Why try to change anything? Why not simply leave it as is, let other wills and beliefs shape the Dream, waste their time and effort in something doomed to fall?
Yet tell me, when your end comes, do you prefer returning to the Wheel having done nothing, having changed nothing, with for sole satisfaction the pride that you, at least, did not bother trying knowing the outcome? Or do you want to look back at all that you have achieved, all that we, together, have changed, even knowing it will, one day, end? Knowing that as every dream, we must eventually wake?
I will not live this existence in apathy. The Dream is ours to shape and change, so let us make it the best Dream it could be. Let us not be contended with half measures and passable choices. Let us build something magnificent, something that, when lost, will have meant something greater than mere indifference. Something that will have mattered. Even if it's difficult, even if we fall and fail, even as the burdens grow heavier as to force us to our knees. Even knowing that one way or another, there must be an end.
Enemies gather on the horizon. Others are already here. Some to shape the Dream to their own vision of perfection, others simply to destroy, end it all. Yet though an end may inevitably follow a beginning, is this it? Is this to be the sum of our achievements? Is this to be the crowning jewel of all that we could create, all that we could be? Is this what we have sacrificed for?
When you return to the Wheel, will you be content with it being your legacy?
No. Not for me, nor for many of you. Failure may await us, but let the notion not be a chain holding you back, but fuel to your fire, motivation to act. Some among us will die in the days ahead. Others in the months and years that follow. There is no escaping it. So let us make our lives worth something. Success or failure, let our actions serve to create the best Dream we could achieve.
And let us never forget those who sacrificed everything to make it so.
Written By Tyrus
Dec. 15, 2020, 8:35 a.m.(7/26/1014 AR)
Relationship Note on Sasha
I expect the Marquessa wished the Inquisition involved and avoid bounty hunts to avoid the misguided attempts and guesses of amateurs.
This is a murder, not a treasure hunt for the whole city to participate in.
This is a murder, not a treasure hunt for the whole city to participate in.
Written By Tyrus
Dec. 14, 2020, 8:44 a.m.(7/24/1014 AR)
Relationship Note on Valerius
Another of my family dead. Another more than a decade younger than I. I remember the boy, as I grew to know the man he became, though less so.
I will not offer threats. I will not imagine elaborate punishments for those responsible.
The Inquisition is to investigate. I look forward to see how they might have changed from the ways of their previous Master of Questions.
I will not offer threats. I will not imagine elaborate punishments for those responsible.
The Inquisition is to investigate. I look forward to see how they might have changed from the ways of their previous Master of Questions.
Written By Tyrus
Dec. 12, 2020, 1:38 a.m.(7/19/1014 AR)
I've chosen to take up artwork. For sometimes words are far too limiting in how one wishes to express, or what. I am starting from nothing save the desire to create. Much, I expect, like any artist when they first picked up either brush or chisel.
Some things I cannot expect others to make.
Some things I cannot expect others to make.
Written By Tyrus
Dec. 11, 2020, 12:58 p.m.(7/18/1014 AR)
In a way I've returned to contemplating something that I had thought impossible, believing the words of others over my own thoughts and ideas. Yet it would be taking for granted that they know everything, are not prone to their own prejudices and misconceptions.
One must ever be wary of pride, in themselves and others.
Progress? Few things are so linear. True comprehension most of all.
One must ever be wary of pride, in themselves and others.
Progress? Few things are so linear. True comprehension most of all.
Written By Tyrus
Dec. 10, 2020, 9 p.m.(7/17/1014 AR)
Thrise, Zeren, Qadir. Names I hadn't thought of in some time. All three were slaves alongside me. Survivours of that island, of that storm.
Thrise was Damia's best friend, a witness to our marriage beneath the stars. She was there when Aelia was born. She survived when many did not, only to die a free woman.
Zeren was one of my truest friend, a man of noble soul, kind and honourable even in the depths of misery that was that place. He died of an infected wound as we glimpsed the shores of Maelstrom.
Qadir too was a friend, a brother in all but blood. Aelia's favourite uncle. Her protector on the days and nights the masters would keep me from her. He swore himself to me after our arrival to Arvum. He put an end to his own life.
Three names that have recently returned to me. Three that hide so many more. Yet I shall remember, till there's none left unspoken.
Thrise was Damia's best friend, a witness to our marriage beneath the stars. She was there when Aelia was born. She survived when many did not, only to die a free woman.
Zeren was one of my truest friend, a man of noble soul, kind and honourable even in the depths of misery that was that place. He died of an infected wound as we glimpsed the shores of Maelstrom.
Qadir too was a friend, a brother in all but blood. Aelia's favourite uncle. Her protector on the days and nights the masters would keep me from her. He swore himself to me after our arrival to Arvum. He put an end to his own life.
Three names that have recently returned to me. Three that hide so many more. Yet I shall remember, till there's none left unspoken.
Written By Tyrus
Dec. 2, 2020, 8:12 p.m.(7/1/1014 AR)
To be whole again... There is something powerful in being so, after having known what it was like to be lesser, to be only a piece of the true self.
Not to worry, I've learnt my lesson.
Not to worry, I've learnt my lesson.
Written By Tyrus
Nov. 30, 2020, 2:16 p.m.(6/24/1014 AR)
What does it mean to be an Islander? Thralldom and reaving? I can't fault mainlanders for thinking so, given even some among the Islanders believe it be the sum of who we are.
Yet to be an Islander is far more than that.
It is to look beyond the self and instead focus on the whole. It is to put aside selfishness and do what needs to be done for the House. It is to look beyond one's life and see the legacy of what came before and what will come after. It is to act in respect of the sacrifices made before to build and shape a legacy. It is to act knowing one's actions shall likewise echo down history decades, centuries from now.
To be an Islander is to look to the past and future and see the whole, to seize the moment now knowing all will be shaped by your actions.
Yet to be an Islander is far more than that.
It is to look beyond the self and instead focus on the whole. It is to put aside selfishness and do what needs to be done for the House. It is to look beyond one's life and see the legacy of what came before and what will come after. It is to act in respect of the sacrifices made before to build and shape a legacy. It is to act knowing one's actions shall likewise echo down history decades, centuries from now.
To be an Islander is to look to the past and future and see the whole, to seize the moment now knowing all will be shaped by your actions.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.