Written By Samira
Jan. 14, 2024, 8:17 p.m.(7/21/1021 AR)
Today I share excerpts of Black Journal entries I've written over the years. In many ways, I feel so far removed from the person I was. And yet, I'm still her at the core. So many of these thoughts resonate...
- So much is uncertain. What I do know is this: If I were to let fear dictate my choices, I would have faded into the anonymity of the Lowers streets long ago.
- Through it all, art is the answer. Half the time I can't find the words to express what has unfolded or how I feel about it, but with a paintbrush in hand, it all flows so simply.
- I never knew it was possible to love someone so fiercely and yet be so infuriated by them at the same time. So much of the time, he feels like home and safety and what is meant to be. But sometimes... sometimes our stubbornness gets in the way and we are like two forces of nature colliding.
- Trust. It's such a difficult, slippery thing. The act of solidifying trust with someone -- of sharing your innermost thoughts and desires and your darkest secrets, entrusting them to another's discretion -- it can be both terrifying and freeing.
- Sometimes I'm so reticent to share information that I end up having to carry the weight of a thing all on my own. I didn't realize how heavy it all felt until I finally shared my truth with someone I trust beyond words. I'm grateful we carry one another's secrets. I would follow her to the far reaches of the world and face whatever life throws at us.
- Wagner came by Rabble Art the other day and found me in the midst of an artistic block. Inspiration had fled, nothing would come to me. I felt like I was a bundle of anger and frustration. So we took pottery outside and smashed it against the wall, naming things that pissed us off. Some of the things Wagner named make me wonder, but I'll not pry. Wouldn't be right. I felt a mixture of emotions afterwards. Worse in some ways, but mostly better. It's good to have people who'll stand beside you and yell frustrations out into the world. People who care. People who matter.
- Who am I? The foul-mouthed, scrappy Lowers lass or the polite and erudite commoner or the frenzied, inspired artist? Friend. Foe. Lover. Sister. All. I am all of them in one. Layers upon layers, we are all made up of so many pieces. That's what makes life interesting, each of us possessing so much yet to be discovered.
- I will never stop looking over my shoulder, wondering if they're coming my way yet. I will never stop training. I will never stop attempting everything in my power to make myself stronger, smarter, faster in an attempt to evade these monsters that seek to destroy me. I'm not ready to die yet, and I refuse to believe that dying at their hands is inevitable.
- So much is uncertain. What I do know is this: If I were to let fear dictate my choices, I would have faded into the anonymity of the Lowers streets long ago.
- Through it all, art is the answer. Half the time I can't find the words to express what has unfolded or how I feel about it, but with a paintbrush in hand, it all flows so simply.
- I never knew it was possible to love someone so fiercely and yet be so infuriated by them at the same time. So much of the time, he feels like home and safety and what is meant to be. But sometimes... sometimes our stubbornness gets in the way and we are like two forces of nature colliding.
- Trust. It's such a difficult, slippery thing. The act of solidifying trust with someone -- of sharing your innermost thoughts and desires and your darkest secrets, entrusting them to another's discretion -- it can be both terrifying and freeing.
- Sometimes I'm so reticent to share information that I end up having to carry the weight of a thing all on my own. I didn't realize how heavy it all felt until I finally shared my truth with someone I trust beyond words. I'm grateful we carry one another's secrets. I would follow her to the far reaches of the world and face whatever life throws at us.
- Wagner came by Rabble Art the other day and found me in the midst of an artistic block. Inspiration had fled, nothing would come to me. I felt like I was a bundle of anger and frustration. So we took pottery outside and smashed it against the wall, naming things that pissed us off. Some of the things Wagner named make me wonder, but I'll not pry. Wouldn't be right. I felt a mixture of emotions afterwards. Worse in some ways, but mostly better. It's good to have people who'll stand beside you and yell frustrations out into the world. People who care. People who matter.
- Who am I? The foul-mouthed, scrappy Lowers lass or the polite and erudite commoner or the frenzied, inspired artist? Friend. Foe. Lover. Sister. All. I am all of them in one. Layers upon layers, we are all made up of so many pieces. That's what makes life interesting, each of us possessing so much yet to be discovered.
- I will never stop looking over my shoulder, wondering if they're coming my way yet. I will never stop training. I will never stop attempting everything in my power to make myself stronger, smarter, faster in an attempt to evade these monsters that seek to destroy me. I'm not ready to die yet, and I refuse to believe that dying at their hands is inevitable.
Written By Samira
April 25, 2021, 10:30 p.m.(5/11/1015 AR)
I was recently given the opportunity to design a piece showcasing deeplight coral, a new material from Eswyndol. The coral itself is stunning. Thought to bring good fortune and protection, the beads range in color from pink to red to black and shimmer beautifully when the light hits them just right. The people we encountered during our trip to the Isles became my inspiration for the final product. I hope that the bust I created both highlights the beauty of deeplight coral and serves as a reminder of the strength of its people.
Written By Samira
Feb. 7, 2021, 10:43 p.m.(11/23/1014 AR)
Relationship Note on Caprice
I would be remiss if I never wrote about my incredibly kind and talented patron, Caprice Artiglio. Seemingly always blessed with inspiration, she is brimming with ideas and thoughtful contributions. A crafter who uplifts and inspires. A steadfast friend, even after she's seen a person at their worst.
This city could do with more like her.
This city could do with more like her.
Written By Samira
Oct. 4, 2020, 8:21 p.m.(2/22/1014 AR)
I thought that seeking knowledge would help me better understand the world around me. Instead it only reminds me how little I know, each answer leading to more questions.
It used to be the world seemed simpler. Blissful ignorance, as they say.
It used to be the world seemed simpler. Blissful ignorance, as they say.
Written By Samira
Sept. 23, 2020, 1:14 a.m.(1/27/1014 AR)
Relationship Note on Porter
We do! A particularly determined and fierce one, too. Who knew being a giant could be so invigorating?
(By 'fierce', I mean fiercely helpful, of course.)
(By 'fierce', I mean fiercely helpful, of course.)
Written By Samira
Sept. 6, 2020, 6:11 p.m.(12/22/1013 AR)
For a long time, I had only the barest outline of an idea in my mind. A dream, a wish to contribute something positive to my corner of the world, a desire to bring a reminder of hope. Thanks to the unflagging support and assistance of many people in my life, it's no longer simply a wistful notion.
Rabble Art, the new Lowers community art center, has officially opened its doors. I hope that it will serve as a place of comfort and creativity, particularly for those who need it most.
Rabble Art, the new Lowers community art center, has officially opened its doors. I hope that it will serve as a place of comfort and creativity, particularly for those who need it most.
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