Written By Raja
Feb. 2, 2024, 10:33 a.m.(9/2/1021 AR)
I have received a letter from my mother. It is basically a good-bye. Now, I was raised since I was a tiny thing without her presence in my life. I know that she is not someone I can ever truly count on, simply by the nature of who she is. So, why does it make me sad? Yet, I also feel that she also knows who she is and she understands her own nature. This letter is an act of love. It shows that we are all complex creatures capable of many things that surprise even ourselves. I just hope that my mother finds what she is looking for. I hope she finally finds that place where she feels she can truly belong and to feel love.
Written By Raja
Feb. 2, 2024, 10:23 a.m.(9/2/1021 AR)
It is over. The biggest event of my life is over. I survived. Honestly, I am quite surprised I survived. Yet, here I am. Now, with the world pretty much turned upside down, I have only one regret. I regret that I will not live long enough to see what our children make of this world. We may get to lay the foundations, but our children and our children's children will be who really build it up. However, our children will have a word to build. The alternative.. was not acceptable.
Written By Raja
Jan. 4, 2024, 4:04 p.m.(7/1/1021 AR)
I find it interesting how our choices, even if they are well-intentioned can lead to such dire outcomes. After the fall of Legion, I felt victorious and elated. Then, as the true consequences of our decisions began to unveil themselves, it took me back.
Some people now nay-say what was done. I say, it still had to be done. The problem is, one can only act on what they know. We solved one problem to create another. Now, we work to solve the next problem.
And here I thought I was going to be able to relax and enjoy life for a bit.
Some people now nay-say what was done. I say, it still had to be done. The problem is, one can only act on what they know. We solved one problem to create another. Now, we work to solve the next problem.
And here I thought I was going to be able to relax and enjoy life for a bit.
Written By Raja
Nov. 28, 2023, 3:06 p.m.(4/10/1021 AR)
Someone left a disturbing book in my shop. I don't know if this is some sort of gag, a warning, or a threat.
Written By Raja
Aug. 23, 2023, 12:16 p.m.(5/26/1020 AR)
It is so easy to take for granted what we have. We go about our day without thinking about how people we care about get ripped from you. Sometimes we don't even know how much we /did/ care.
I didn't. I didn't know. I didn't know how much I cared. I took it for granted.
I didn't. I didn't know. I didn't know how much I cared. I took it for granted.
Written By Raja
Aug. 23, 2023, 12:09 p.m.(5/26/1020 AR)
I was gravely reminded how our choices in life can not only affect ourselves, but also everyone around us. Sometimes our choice will lead to very horrible circumstances. If we make such choices, then we have to be wise enough to accept the consequences of it. Though, sometimes those consequences do not just hurt ourselves, but those around us.
I hurt now. I hurt from the choice someone else made. I struggled with accepting the choice that was made. My initial response was to figure out a way to undo what was done. But the weight of truth is on my shoulders. It cannot be undone. Now my heart is heavy and they will never know.
I have to accept the choice they made. It doesn't mean I have to like it.
I hurt now. I hurt from the choice someone else made. I struggled with accepting the choice that was made. My initial response was to figure out a way to undo what was done. But the weight of truth is on my shoulders. It cannot be undone. Now my heart is heavy and they will never know.
I have to accept the choice they made. It doesn't mean I have to like it.
Written By Raja
Aug. 13, 2023, 8:55 a.m.(5/6/1020 AR)
Speaking of love and matters of the heart. It is a terrifying concept to me. I had always been reluctant, hard to trust people. Why open my heart? It leads to just being abandoned and hurt in the end. I mean, I don't /want/ to feel this way. I want to be like those star struck lovers that had to be rescued from their own folly. I want to be lost in the eyes of someone so badly that I am willing to risk everything for it. The problem is, I was there and I was burned. Now, I am skeptical. I am mistrusting. If I were honest, I am afraid.
Written By Raja
Aug. 13, 2023, 8:48 a.m.(5/6/1020 AR)
True love. Do you know the feeling? Well, that is what we think it is when we are young and full of dreams. I had to step in and help save the lives of two star struck lovers who thought it was a good idea to abscond together by hiding in the barrels of a merchant's cargo. You know, most ship captains are not very forgiving for stow-a-ways. These two youngsters think they are in true love! They were willing to flee the city and risk the wrath of the merchant's men just to be together. They fight against the wishes of their family just to gaze into each other's eyes one last time.
It's adorable, but sadly impractical.
So, I have taken the young man as an assistant! I figure it can give him a chance to make something of himself and become worthy of the girl's love. He could earn the respect of the girl's father. He could make a living for himself and gods willing, be able to afford a wife and family in the future. As far as the girl, well, I do not envy her father. I feel I would want to react the same way should it be one of my own daughters. Let some bloke try to steal one of /my/ daughters from me! I would cross entire continents and sail the circumference of every sea to get at the one who took her from me! Woe be to him!
It's adorable, but sadly impractical.
So, I have taken the young man as an assistant! I figure it can give him a chance to make something of himself and become worthy of the girl's love. He could earn the respect of the girl's father. He could make a living for himself and gods willing, be able to afford a wife and family in the future. As far as the girl, well, I do not envy her father. I feel I would want to react the same way should it be one of my own daughters. Let some bloke try to steal one of /my/ daughters from me! I would cross entire continents and sail the circumference of every sea to get at the one who took her from me! Woe be to him!
Written By Raja
Aug. 1, 2023, 9:06 a.m.(4/10/1020 AR)
I recently learned something that actually excited me! I sat down and spoke with a very interesting man that hails from the Undying Kingdoms. We got to speak of the difference between our religion and their religion 'Grace of the Thirteen'. Now those of you that know me, you will know I am a Liberator and follow the principles of Skald. So, to us, the worship of Skald is relatively new. To them, it has always been. Did you know that over there, exploration is considered an act of worship to Skald? It makes sense! Pathways cause us to stop and wonder which way to go. We can go right, we can go left. Should we go up? How about down? You could even choose to turn around. I bet Skald loves a good labyrinth. I wonder if this city has one?
Written By Raja
Aug. 1, 2023, 8:50 a.m.(4/10/1020 AR)
I should stop smoking haze. It causes my brain to wander to think of so many different things. My most recent thought is more of a curiosity. Do you think that creatures of the abyss /want/ to be the way they are? Like who wants to be sad /all/ the time? That just sounds torturous. Who wants to always betray? That sounds lonely. Who wants to live a life so filled with greed it leaves room for nothing else? Each of these very powerful entities seem to have a rather miserable existence.
Now, do not mistake my ramblings for siding with the forces that work against us. I will defend my home, my friends, and my family to the very last breath. I just wonder sometimes if choice is something they get to enjoy.
Now, do not mistake my ramblings for siding with the forces that work against us. I will defend my home, my friends, and my family to the very last breath. I just wonder sometimes if choice is something they get to enjoy.
Written By Raja
July 30, 2023, 9:28 p.m.(4/7/1020 AR)
Cats! What do you even do with them? They get into EVERYTHING! I found my one and only dress simply in tatters. One of these feline overlords was climbing all over it. It may be old, but I loved this silk dress. Then they look at me with those cute pink noses and I just squint. They are up to something. I just know it.
Written By Raja
July 30, 2023, 9:23 p.m.(4/7/1020 AR)
Seems that a bar has been bestowed to me. I am honored for this, but I would rather my friend remain in the city. It breaks my heart to say goodbye, so instead, I told him that I will see him later. I just hope that wherever he travels, he will find the answers he seeks.
Written By Raja
July 8, 2023, 4:46 p.m.(2/20/1020 AR)
It is nice to stoke the fires of my forge again. I have let it grow too cold for too long. With a few new commissions, I have an excuse to get my butt back to creating new things. Inspiration has tickled my thoughts again and I want to make all the things.
Written By Raja
July 3, 2023, 2:57 p.m.(2/9/1020 AR)
It is so very good to meet someone that actually has some intellect. I mean, I always knew Savio was smart, but damn does he challenge me and get me thinking. I need more intellects in my life.
Written By Raja
March 19, 2023, 5:42 p.m.(6/22/1019 AR)
There is still a lot of cleanup to do in the Lowers. The rats are plentiful.. they are actually beyond a nuisance level. I have had several very kind people reach out to me asking how they can help. Thing is, I am unsure how to even begin. So, I figure some good old fashioned hard labor is what is needed. Shovels. Mops. Some carpenters.. My own shops reek of rot. I have to get my ass in gear.
Written By Raja
March 3, 2023, 11:14 p.m.(5/18/1019 AR)
Hope. It is something we all cling do. However, when it fades, it leaves a hole in our lives. My own sense of hope has been steadily fading. The more and more I look around myself, I see sadness and pain. I see destitution and ruin. It is getting harder and harder to see the light. It is becoming more difficult to hold the torch and keep fighting. I often feel as if the gods have all turned their eyes from me. They have more important things to worry about than some abandoned street urchin struggling to find her way in this world. But, what brings me that hope and light are some rather good people in my life. They lift me by the chin when I allow myself to get mopey. They refill my empty cup so to speak. They remind me that when the shadows come crushing inwards, then I have something to hold onto. But, I still can't help but to feel this continuous nagging in the back of my head reminding me that it's all worthless. This life only gives difficult, painful choices. You just have to choose the one that stinks the least. Still, I am eternally thankful for those in my life that help keep my head above the water of utter despair, keep me gasping for air, keep me fighting on.
Written By Raja
Feb. 2, 2023, 1:09 a.m.(5/4/1019 AR)
I have spoken with my patron and we are going to be working together to create these lovely ensembles! I shouldn't disclose what all our ideas are here, but I can say that it will take me a LOT of work! That is all good though, in the end, it will be a work of art.
Written By Raja
Jan. 15, 2023, 10:20 p.m.(3/26/1019 AR)
I am so happy today. I got to meet up with an old friend! She is someone I really look up to even if she probably doesnt feel that way. Anyways, I hope I can see more of Sen.
Written By Raja
Jan. 15, 2023, 9:26 p.m.(3/25/1019 AR)
I know I have complained before about how unfair it is that people in Arx are so ignorant to all the powers and craziness that happen both inside our city and throughout the lands of Arvum. How in all of creation have the Arvani survived through all these years? I mean, I recently was told stories of evil /bunny/ uprisings. I can't say I 100% believe bunnies can become evil masterminds. It has to be some sort of trick or something that led to these stories. Then again, with all the CRAZY things I have witnessed in my days, I wouldn't be surprised.
Written By Raja
Jan. 8, 2023, 7:56 p.m.(3/11/1019 AR)
I decided to make a chain or a brigadine dress. I figure plate would just be /too/ stiff. I should also add gems! Perhaps it would be two pieces as a single piece would be heavy to put on. Perhaps it can be a combination of the two? I am still unsure of what metal to craft it in. Honestly, I would love to make it in diamondplate, but who has that kind of money? I don't. Though, it would shimmer and just be so beautiful to look upon. I have the image in my head, but planning it and implementing the idea in practice will be difficult. Though, I hope to make an entire set of this fashionable set by summer. Perhaps I will make it of cupridium and use the very sun itself as inspiration. Maybe I could make enough money to purchase the materials to craft a diamondplate one for next winter! Oh that would be beautiful.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.