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Written By Nurie

Aug. 24, 2020, 6:51 p.m.(11/24/1013 AR)

Every step even closer to the dream. I think duskweave turned out even better than I'd hoped!

Written By Nurie

July 27, 2020, 2:42 a.m.(9/23/1013 AR)

Solitude is a very strange thing--one can find it in the midst of a packed room, and it can elude even in the middle of nowhere. Sometimes it calls to me so very sweetly, to find refuge in disappearing even into sea of faces. Other times it is a very painful wound. How very quickly it can drift from one side to the other. But I think perhaps that more people feel that strange and painful shifting than do not; sometimes it feels very much like we're all bound to each other with threads and webbing unseen and vital, and yet so fragile that the worst timing of a word or gesture or look can sever and cast us adrift. I wonder if that is why it is possible to long for and yet fear such a thing at the same time.

Written By Nurie

June 23, 2020, 12:27 p.m.(7/12/1013 AR)

When I first came to Arx, I was mesmerized by all the possibilities that were overwhelming for someone hoping to spread and stretch their wings more than has been possible before.

Here I experienced what it was like to be more than /what/ I was, because the world was so vast only a few people cared. I could be valued for the work of my hands, my conversation, what I contributed to others, not the mark of my name or from where I came.

And yet, even here, that is not the case for everyone. We have generations who are born, live, and die within these walls that are still looked askance at when they venture into other areas of the city. And there are more out there beyond it. So many who slip through the hands that are able to catch others. Not everyone has a powerful guild, a family, a patron, or a liege who knows them to offer protection and help.

The Commoners Council has been charged with a task that seems impossible--to be able to hear and raise the concerns of all of the commons throughout the Compact, as an advisory to the King. From wealthy merchants, respected artisans, staff and servants of the peers, shopkeepers, laborers, sailors, hunters, peasants, prodigals, and refugees--from every domain within the realm. It is a sobering thing, especially when as many things seem to threaten to tear us apart as they do keep us together.

I think that the council holds great promise, and has. I can think of no one who has served in the past or who is running now that I would not be proud to serve alongside, or support even if I do not. I know there has been an effort to recruit a wide range of people to run to reflect those differences amongst us as a whole.

I would like to see more visibility, the sponsorships of festival celebrations and opportunities for those too shy perhaps to initiate a conversation by themselves, amongst other ideas. These I can help do, as a council member. I look forward to seeing what ideas others have as well, and to support them. I would like most of all to help others who feel like their voice is not as strong or heard as they would like it to be to change that. We can, together.

There are few times where we have such a direct voice and vote, regardless of our group or station, as we hold in an election. So I would urge all to please remember to do so. Vote for someone that you feel best represents your interests, but I also urge that you consider voting for someone whose perspective is something that is often missing as well. I know that is what I will be doing. And I welcome any ideas and conversation you might have about my own, or about my reasons for wanting to run.

Sometimes people have things to say that we would rather not hear, and that goes for both sides of the conversation. But it is still important to listen. That is the first step in making it easier to move forward together.

Written By Nurie

June 14, 2020, 2:18 p.m.(6/22/1013 AR)

A wedding set completed. There's a little bit of everything woven into them. The story of a journey writ very obvious for those who have walked along the path. Creating a garment that is also story of the path taken to get there, and threaded with hopes and dreams of the future, is always my most favorite thing. I cherish all the times that people have shared those stories with me when I've created something for them--where we met as strangers, at least at the end there's a bond at least within my heart though I can't speak for others that remains, even if they never darken my door again.

But oh the joy of creating something for someone that you love, that has walked with you through the most tumultuous darkness, and has celebrated your every triumph, and who has encouraged and pushed just when needed, and has allowed you to do the same. I think my dreams for her are different that what she chooses to dream for herself, but isn't that the way of things? And I don't know him well, but as I have tatted and sewed, I think of welcome and promise, and belonging. There's nothing wrong with adding a pinch of different hopes to the mix. I think about all the contrasting dreams and hopes that others have held for me--lovers, friends, siblings, mentors, and even those who have wished me ill. Whether or not I'll ever know what they were or are, I do think there's something in it that has helped to shape me nevertheless.

This tapestry of life with threads too numerous for me to touch and know, but that covers me nevertheless. It is a thing of wonder.

There's still a few more things to make. They won't be quite so grand as those to be wed, but I hope that those that wear them will be able to feel that love and care when they wear them as well. There has been so much fracture and division and pain in the past. Let us perhaps take a new path of rooting into shared soil, and blossoming anew.

Written By Nurie

June 8, 2020, 4:05 a.m.(6/9/1013 AR)

Once upon a time I had one kiss that was as sweet as starlight. I didn't know that it would echo in tears on my cheeks so much later.

May your next turn on the wheel be even brighter.

Written By Nurie

May 30, 2020, 3:38 p.m.(5/20/1013 AR)

Though my focus of late has been more on linen, wool, and muslin rather than silks and lace, and I find that even without the embroidery and beadwork that I'm accustomed to, the work still fills my attention and desire to just sew for a few hours more far too late in the night...I am also glad that over the last months I've stolen time here and there to work on wedding attire. It's taken me a lot longer than usual, but reaching the stage where finally the dream in your head starts to truly come into reality underneath your fingertips is one of my favorite things.

Though it's not always possible, I know, I wish that every man or woman on their wedding day could feel beautiful, and perhaps more than a little hope for the future. I try to sew a little of those wishes into everything I make for another, trying to imagine what might bring them happiness or pleasure, or a little comfort when they wear what I make. But right now things are woven and stitched and smocked and spun with as much love as I can manage.

Written By Nurie

May 22, 2020, 9:11 p.m.(5/4/1013 AR)

So many memories jumbled up with the new. The kitchens were a safe retreat when I was a little girl, though I'm no great cook, I can follow directions, and they were warm and the people there kind. Now I tie my apron and follow directions again in the guild hall, feel the ache in different muscles after the meal is done, though it isn't a retreat, and this time I pray that even if it's just a little that I'm helping to give comfort this time. But I know it won't last long, and it isn't enough. But it /is/ some.

It's easy to look and see all the choices that you could be making, all the imaginings of how it might cascade into what others decide and how they choose to act. All of our threads woven and tangled together, and I am trying to make sense of the grand picture while my nose is but a mere inch from the tapestry.

I feel very small. There's so much to do, and sometimes there really isn't a choice that will not harm somebody, or cause them grief. It doesn't mean that I won't keep putting one foot in front of the other and doing what best I can. But sometimes it is hard to know if I am the tiny pebble in someone's shoe that will just cause them a hurtful stumble, or if could be one of the many in the hand to be added together to make a better path forward for those who come after.

I wish I could be less selfish and more at peace. I can keep trying.

Written By Nurie

May 19, 2020, 10:54 a.m.(4/26/1013 AR)

I think that it often speaks louder and inspires more when you can explain what /you/ are doing, and what sacrifices /you/ are personally making that are really sacrifices rather than telling everyone else what they should be doing instead. If you've never thrown a tea party and brag about how you would never throw one now that this is going on, well, it really doesn't make you look charitable and concerned, it makes you look like an ass. Probably especially to those you're claiming to champion, if you've never bothered to stand up for them before now.

Written By Nurie

May 13, 2020, 2:33 a.m.(4/13/1013 AR)

Choosing to set aside one's desires for the greater good of the family, or choosing to flout that and go one's own way both have consequences, and they're not always wonderful. Be it in marriage, profession, or any number of things. Bringing up children in an atmosphere of turmoil and upset doesn't just happen in households where the spouses never liked each other; it can happen with people who have, or did have, great passion for each other. I think it is perhaps only human to not want to be married to someone that loathes you, so it seems quite natural that even a political arrangement might have some care to ensure there is at least a small chance of people being compatible. If someone has also found happiness, then so much the better, let them enjoy that season in their life while they can.

If one has happiness in their arrangement, however, whatever that may be, perhaps it's better to be grateful for that, since there are many who do not have it in theirs. There's always going to be someone who looks down their nose at anything. If stung pride that everyone doesn't share your joy distracts you from the happiness that you have in your love or companionship, then that's a very sorrowful choice, but really no one's fault than your own.

Written By Nurie

March 30, 2020, 7:49 p.m.(1/10/1013 AR)

My heart is heavy, the world a little less bright. Perhaps with time the weight will seem comforting, like the blanket of snow that covers the dormant roots until the warmth of spring calls new shoots and leaves forward.

Written By Nurie

March 22, 2020, 6:16 p.m.(12/22/1012 AR)

It seems that these days my head and heart and hands are more focused on Iriscal and my family than in being an Arxian businesswoman. And yet, I am happy still.

My Constantin is chasing me about and getting into higher and higher shelves, and calling after me now, so I've had to make him a space in the workshop so that I can get a little more studying in and experiments, and he can have castles and creatures to destroy!

And those around me are heavy with cares and worries for what goes on in the world at large. Spring and Summer and most of the Autumn fled before I knew it. I have spent more time amongst my people, in the mills and farming villages, and in the Fortezza and beyond than I think I have ever before! It feels strange to be more a Minister now than a Tailor.

But I have been working on things to being a smile, and something else to concentrate on than the battles that loom before us. Something to bring people together, hopefully in laughter, and a brief reprieve from the heavier weights on mind and heart. And also things that can be shared with others.

Very soon, just in time for Year's End, I hope, I'll have them ready in the shop. It always brings butterflies to my tummy, trying something new. But I hope that people will like it. The dresses and costumes will be back again in the display cases in their time.

But for now, something different.

Written By Nurie

Nov. 30, 2019, 2:06 a.m.(4/15/1012 AR)

As much as I do love the snow, and wandering in its quiet, I do very much love the spring! Spring brings flowers, and butterflies, and outside dances under the stars or lanterns. It's the latter that I crave. And hearing the laughter and songs that come with it.

Written By Nurie

Nov. 24, 2019, 2:27 p.m.(4/4/1012 AR)

The feeling that captures my soul when I rush to his crib in the morning, before even the nurse awakes, and his eyes light and he kicks and laughs and reaches out his little chubby arms for me is almost the best in the world. Maybe that's why I've been so drawn to making more cuddly things than fashionable things these days. It's hard to not feel at least a little like crying when I realize how quickly he's growing, and it won't be long at all before he isn't a baby anymore. All of my family is so easy to love. I can't ever think of a time that I didn't adore my sister. And Cosi is still so cute I have to be careful to not ruffle his hair when I see him. But it's hard to not want to set the moon and stars just so they delight my little nephew. There's so very little that I can give to him that others can't do better. But I hope being cherished and adored in addition to all the other things he must have in order to one day rule will only make him stronger. We didn't have that, from the ones who created us, though I think that's not their fault at all. But at least I can make sure that he does, right from the beginning. And I can take care of my other beloved ones, as much as they'll let me.

Written By Nurie

Nov. 9, 2019, 3:46 p.m.(3/2/1012 AR)

It has been so long since I sewed any kind of toy--not really since a dragon for Cosi when he was little, and my master tailor's little ones--that I'd forgotten how much fun it was! I might have done it bit overmuch, now Constatin's room is...very full of many little creatures, that I might have to find some more homes for.

Written By Nurie

Nov. 7, 2019, 10:52 p.m.(2/27/1012 AR)

Sometimes, when the even the days seem impossibly dark despite the beauty of the snow and the coziness of the fire, and there's a strange melancholy that seems to creep in that makes it seem as if the spring will never come, it can lift the spirits enough to do something secret and fun that perhaps will bring a smile and a little joy to a stranger or a friend, even if you never get to see their smile at discovering it.

Written By Nurie

Oct. 31, 2019, 12:15 p.m.(2/12/1012 AR)

All are welcome in my shop. I may not be the most prolific in my offerings off the shelf, nor do I have the most available time for commissions, especially of late. But any and all are welcome to stop in for some tea and some respite from the cold, even if you don't buy anything at all or you don't find anything that calls to you on that visit.

I would never begrudge another their own choices. It is one of the joys of my life now to work for whom I please, when I please, and how I please, and I think that supporting others in doing the same is something to uphold.

But I find that I cherish my interactions with those that challenge me or find me challenging as much as I do with those that are kindred spirits. I like to think of it as building ties step by step. Maybe over time it will make a difference, or perhaps not.

I suppose it is a good thing that I am not in charge of anything important.

Written By Nurie

Aug. 27, 2019, 3:18 a.m.(9/21/1011 AR)

Just when you think that your heart is full to bursting with love, something can happen and it expands yet again.

My beloved sister is safe and well and resting, and while she does I hold the most beautiful boy in my arms. He is so perfect, and he settles when I sing to him. Less than a day and already it's just impossible to imagine life without him.

Between the sweet little noises he makes, and the radiant happiness of his mother, for the moment the world is so very blissfully perfect.

Written By Nurie

Aug. 3, 2019, 3:46 p.m.(8/2/1011 AR)

I think it is best when encountering others to always be mindful of your station. And perhaps to assume it is lower than it might be, if you are dealing with parties completely unknown to you.

I think this is a painful truth. There are times when you will think yourself friends or close with someone above (or below) you, but something happens and the raising of those tiers will be especially painful even if perhaps it is not even purposeful.

For it is true--we are given different means to put hurt feelings and pride or even property or physical harm to rest based on the station of our birth or elevation and sometimes there is no way to bridge it in an efficient manner when it happens across commoner and noble lines.

How I have wished for an clear way to settle an insult and right a relationship as being able to call for a duel quickly and be done with it afterwards. I have thought if were that to be an option perhaps I would still have a friendship lost to me now, had I been able to express the weight given to their words and their impact with something other than my written notes...but that too is wishful and stupid thinking I know; it isn't as if duels always lay aside the animosities that bring them forth either.

It is a hard dance to know just how to measure one's steps beyond and back from that divide.

Written By Nurie

July 28, 2019, 6:07 p.m.(7/18/1011 AR)

I don't often see very much of you, in me, though I suppose all of us have inherited your beautiful dark hair, and there's more than a little of your stamp in each one of us, here and there. But of late sometimes I catch it, sidelong in the mirror. And I feel it too, in the dark of the night when all is quiet except for the sound of slumber and the thump of a heartbeat. Should I be proud? Worried? I used to dress up in your things when I thought no one was looking, until I was caught and punished. Sometimes when I watched you prepare for he evening, to do your duty at a banquet or ball with your husband on your arm or to leave for more private affairs to meet with the assignation of choice, you would laugh and powder my nose or let me pick out your perfume of the evening, which always let me have one very precious dab at my wrists. If I ran away very quickly after it was done, I could press mine to Sabine's, so that we could share it. I loved you so much, but it was always from afar, without understanding. You were always a pattern that eluded me, that no matter how I tried, I couldn't understand how anything fit together, though I wanted to. So that I could mend just a little part of it. Selfishly, I think, as if I could remake you into someone who could love us in a different way.

But I caught a glimpse of you only recently, and it stole my breath and broke my heart just a very little bit. I wonder if you would be proud of me. Or if you would just shrug and give that small smile, and turn back towards your mirror. The latter I think. But I love you still. And them. Them most of all. And the one to come.

Written By Nurie

July 23, 2019, 10:39 p.m.(7/9/1011 AR)

It seems a very strange thing, to be comforted by such things as pretty petals and curling vines. But I have spent a few hours working on a gown of my own, and the effort keeps my mind busy and occupied and away from other more shadowed thoughts, and it's a little easier to smile in spite of that chill on this beautiful warm day.

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