Written By Margot
Aug. 6, 2021, 4:36 p.m.(12/21/1015 AR)
Note to my darling husband:
The nicest thing a man can get his wife is a big ship to slay the enemies of the compact with.
~ Upon hearing of Prince Romulius' wedding present to his new wife.
The nicest thing a man can get his wife is a big ship to slay the enemies of the compact with.
~ Upon hearing of Prince Romulius' wedding present to his new wife.
Written By Margot
Aug. 6, 2021, 4:33 p.m.(12/21/1015 AR)
It is an invigorating thing to look upon those things that seemed to loom large and terrifying in one's past and find them small and almost charming now.
Written By Margot
June 13, 2021, 6:36 p.m.(8/25/1015 AR)
Relationship Note on Natasha
As I said, there were no boundaries that could not be over come.
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
Written By Margot
June 13, 2021, 2:42 a.m.(8/24/1015 AR)
While so many play against each other they fail to understand how they are connected.
Written By Margot
June 3, 2021, 12:50 a.m.(8/4/1015 AR)
As one who has dedicated their life to diplomacy, I have never understood until now the value of a raised voice and a threat that is completely sincere.
Written By Margot
June 1, 2021, 12:20 p.m.(8/1/1015 AR)
The armor has stood in the corner of my room for so many years I almost forgot it was there. Of course, given who it belonged to the Duke rarely uses it, and so instead it was a shade, hovering for over a decade, disappearing for short periods when necessary and then reassembled once more when it was no longer needed else where.
I almost expected when I pulled the gauntlet free, something horrible would happen, some uneducated part of my mind cleaving to childhood stories of the consequences of disturbing the dead, roaring up to try and stop me. He worked very hard to create that myth of fear.
Even once I pried it free, and the world didn't end it took sometime to make myself put my hand as I knew already what it would confirm. Not that it was heavy, or stiff or painful but because it was what I knew it would be: comfortable.
I almost expected when I pulled the gauntlet free, something horrible would happen, some uneducated part of my mind cleaving to childhood stories of the consequences of disturbing the dead, roaring up to try and stop me. He worked very hard to create that myth of fear.
Even once I pried it free, and the world didn't end it took sometime to make myself put my hand as I knew already what it would confirm. Not that it was heavy, or stiff or painful but because it was what I knew it would be: comfortable.
Written By Margot
May 4, 2021, 10:01 a.m.(5/28/1015 AR)
Waiting.
Waiting for the perfect time. Waiting for the right opening. Waiting for someone to come home. Waiting for someone to leave. Waiting for the it to be over. Waiting for a for a chance. Waiting for a win. Waiting for permission. Waiting for revenge. Waiting for love. Waiting for change.
So much of our time is wasted waiting when it's a trick that life plays on us, a little bit of slight of hand, distracting us with something shiny in the distance so we don't see the way it's robbing us today.
No more waiting. If what you want is within your power. Take it.
Waiting for the perfect time. Waiting for the right opening. Waiting for someone to come home. Waiting for someone to leave. Waiting for the it to be over. Waiting for a for a chance. Waiting for a win. Waiting for permission. Waiting for revenge. Waiting for love. Waiting for change.
So much of our time is wasted waiting when it's a trick that life plays on us, a little bit of slight of hand, distracting us with something shiny in the distance so we don't see the way it's robbing us today.
No more waiting. If what you want is within your power. Take it.
Written By Margot
May 1, 2021, 11:12 a.m.(5/23/1015 AR)
All of my life I have lived in the shadow of some man, be they dead or alive, and been raised such that my service to these men was my purpose. I believed this was right, and proper and satisfying - that their successes were my successes.
There have been times that I have been called to leave that mold, to lead for lack of other, or as required due to my position and each time the process of taking on the mantle was difficult, I felt as if I had to murder my old identity to be what was needed to lead, and each time I was done I was forced to put myself back in the cage of my upbringing for fear of reprisal if those rough edges that are so dearly needed in battle should ever creep out again in proper Margot, good Margot, appeasing and pleasant Margot.
Further, each time I have stepped up to lead in these roles many (not all by any stretch) of those who's political approval I felt I needed punished me for it, by withdrawing their support, or chastising me, or threatening to upset the one thing that they know I hold dearest; my lands and my people.
Sitting aboard my precious Dove, a ship that was built for diplomacy, and painted white so it would be acceptable for me to have freedom of movement and a small command even after I became Duchess of Tyde, I look at the blood on the blood on her decks, I look at the scars on her rails from axes and arrows, I look at the scorch marks on her haul and I love her more than ever, because she has finally gotten to do what she was made for.
As have I.
I recognize now that it is fear that fueled the actions of those who reinforced my ideas in the past, because I am capable of things they are not and I have done far greater things than they have or ever will be able to do. Hence forth, I will treat this as what it is; mutiny.
I am not going back in the cage. I don't know what that means, what that looks like from here on. The carefully curated path I thought I had ahead of me is no more.
I guess that makes it a bit of an adventure.
WE RISE.
There have been times that I have been called to leave that mold, to lead for lack of other, or as required due to my position and each time the process of taking on the mantle was difficult, I felt as if I had to murder my old identity to be what was needed to lead, and each time I was done I was forced to put myself back in the cage of my upbringing for fear of reprisal if those rough edges that are so dearly needed in battle should ever creep out again in proper Margot, good Margot, appeasing and pleasant Margot.
Further, each time I have stepped up to lead in these roles many (not all by any stretch) of those who's political approval I felt I needed punished me for it, by withdrawing their support, or chastising me, or threatening to upset the one thing that they know I hold dearest; my lands and my people.
Sitting aboard my precious Dove, a ship that was built for diplomacy, and painted white so it would be acceptable for me to have freedom of movement and a small command even after I became Duchess of Tyde, I look at the blood on the blood on her decks, I look at the scars on her rails from axes and arrows, I look at the scorch marks on her haul and I love her more than ever, because she has finally gotten to do what she was made for.
As have I.
I recognize now that it is fear that fueled the actions of those who reinforced my ideas in the past, because I am capable of things they are not and I have done far greater things than they have or ever will be able to do. Hence forth, I will treat this as what it is; mutiny.
I am not going back in the cage. I don't know what that means, what that looks like from here on. The carefully curated path I thought I had ahead of me is no more.
I guess that makes it a bit of an adventure.
WE RISE.
Written By Margot
April 30, 2021, 9:58 p.m.(5/21/1015 AR)
I am not going back into the cage.
Written By Margot
Feb. 2, 2021, 2:34 p.m.(11/12/1014 AR)
I've ordered a cross made for the gardens.
Written By Margot
Jan. 25, 2021, 3:58 p.m.(10/24/1014 AR)
Relationship Note on Ember
What a curious friend I have made. I did not expect I would enjoy your company so much.
Written By Margot
Jan. 17, 2021, 1:33 p.m.(10/8/1014 AR)
The wind howls from the Mourning Isles, across Thrax bay and batters against the port of Arx. I can smell home on it. A storm is coming and I for one welcome it.
Written By Margot
Jan. 15, 2021, 11:19 p.m.(10/5/1014 AR)
I know we of the Mourning Isles believe that it is not a woman's place to be at sea, but every time my feet leave the mainland I remember how much it feels like home. Do our husbands and brothers and fathers and sons keep us land locked because they know we have salt in our blood too? Because they fear our cooler heads will lead us to outshine them if we're unfettered and let loose upon the world? Least we leave them home to tend to their own offspring while we have adventures for once?
Port Defiance is mirror, in it one may see themselves in reverse, sometimes warped or distorted, sometimes true. It is a place where all shades of grey thrive and there is very little black and very little white. It is a place where I always see the other path; the life I might have had if one man had turned down a different hallway, opened a different door and found a different girl to bring home to the Old Serpent.
It is also the place I remembered who and what I am. I am the last remaining child of Titus Tyde and to the abyss with anyone who thinks that makes me something to be trifled with.
--- To those who in past thought that because I was a daughter, not a son, you had discretion in deciding which of my orders you heeded I expect you will regret that shortly.
I come back now to my skirts and tea and folios of ledgers and reports but I will not forget again that that I can don that skin when I need it.
Port Defiance is mirror, in it one may see themselves in reverse, sometimes warped or distorted, sometimes true. It is a place where all shades of grey thrive and there is very little black and very little white. It is a place where I always see the other path; the life I might have had if one man had turned down a different hallway, opened a different door and found a different girl to bring home to the Old Serpent.
It is also the place I remembered who and what I am. I am the last remaining child of Titus Tyde and to the abyss with anyone who thinks that makes me something to be trifled with.
--- To those who in past thought that because I was a daughter, not a son, you had discretion in deciding which of my orders you heeded I expect you will regret that shortly.
I come back now to my skirts and tea and folios of ledgers and reports but I will not forget again that that I can don that skin when I need it.
Written By Margot
June 25, 2020, 8:42 p.m.(7/16/1013 AR)
Relationship Note on Shade
I wonder if I need to send some funds to the Temple of Vellichor.
The liberated, the people whom Tyde is paying to be freed and ferried to freedom are not being held captive in Tyde. So long as they acknowledge the Compact they're free to do anything no questions asked, no repayment needed for the coin Tyde is putting out for their passage.
If they choose to stay they are to be given coin and employment. And in some cases more if they have the skills to warrant it.
If THAT is slavery. Any one who has serfs in their fields is a slaver.
The liberated, the people whom Tyde is paying to be freed and ferried to freedom are not being held captive in Tyde. So long as they acknowledge the Compact they're free to do anything no questions asked, no repayment needed for the coin Tyde is putting out for their passage.
If they choose to stay they are to be given coin and employment. And in some cases more if they have the skills to warrant it.
If THAT is slavery. Any one who has serfs in their fields is a slaver.
Written By Margot
June 24, 2020, 5:04 p.m.(7/14/1013 AR)
On the emptiness of anger:
I wonder if people would rather that the unfortunate captives of the Eurusi and Sungreet's houses simply drown with their oppressors so they would be out of sight and out of mind. Would that be more pleasant than the idea that putting a value on their life may be the one thing that ensures their feet meet land again?
Oh how tender hearts rush to fury and wave our fists about when we do not like a method that is different from what they know. How do such people expect to integrate those who have never know their culture when they cannot even stop to consider what their known neighbor is doing before calling forth damnation? Champions of tolerance indeed.
If you care about the unfortunate souls so much get off your ass and do something about it or shut your yap and go about your business.
Empty words have no righteousness, only actions.
I wonder if people would rather that the unfortunate captives of the Eurusi and Sungreet's houses simply drown with their oppressors so they would be out of sight and out of mind. Would that be more pleasant than the idea that putting a value on their life may be the one thing that ensures their feet meet land again?
Oh how tender hearts rush to fury and wave our fists about when we do not like a method that is different from what they know. How do such people expect to integrate those who have never know their culture when they cannot even stop to consider what their known neighbor is doing before calling forth damnation? Champions of tolerance indeed.
If you care about the unfortunate souls so much get off your ass and do something about it or shut your yap and go about your business.
Empty words have no righteousness, only actions.
Written By Margot
June 24, 2020, 12:12 p.m.(7/14/1013 AR)
Relationship Note on Shard
I am only a woman and not schooled in military norms but I was generally under the impression that mercenaries accept coin to kill people.
Freefolk do not need to be bought or brought to places, yes. But slaves and thralls are not free and this seems to be a concept you do not understand.
You cannot remove people from incarceration and simply expect them to survive in the world with nothing any more than one can set a chicken free in the wild in winter and expect it to thrive and not be devoured by wolves. That is cruelty.
I am going to great expense to save lives and provide freedom. And I will not be lectured on the value of those lives by someone who takes coin to snuff out lives and does not understand how to govern or care for people in the long term.
Freefolk do not need to be bought or brought to places, yes. But slaves and thralls are not free and this seems to be a concept you do not understand.
You cannot remove people from incarceration and simply expect them to survive in the world with nothing any more than one can set a chicken free in the wild in winter and expect it to thrive and not be devoured by wolves. That is cruelty.
I am going to great expense to save lives and provide freedom. And I will not be lectured on the value of those lives by someone who takes coin to snuff out lives and does not understand how to govern or care for people in the long term.
Written By Margot
Dec. 26, 2019, 11:49 a.m.(6/12/1012 AR)
Likely the last of my children and a girl. I admit she's already a disappointment in that regard, and as if to add insult to injury, she could not have been a healthy size and quiet and content little girl, she must be small and struggling and constantly screaming.
After all of the discomfort of carrying her about and then the indignity of pushing something out of my own body for such ingratitude.
This one is trouble. I know it.
After all of the discomfort of carrying her about and then the indignity of pushing something out of my own body for such ingratitude.
This one is trouble. I know it.
Written By Margot
Dec. 9, 2019, 7:28 p.m.(5/7/1012 AR)
I recall the first time, in my younger, rasher years when I spent time aboard The Dove out at sea. I remember sitting on the deck in that period where we were far enough not to see anything but water in every direction. Only clouds and sun and at night a dizzy, endless ocean of stars above.
My mind drifts back to those days and nights often, when the world seemed to have shrunk down to just that sturdy ship and her crew, everything else lapsed away and mattering no longer.
There is so much dark water behind us, and so much more ahead of us, it is easy to be paralyzed by worry over what might be of what may lurk below the waves. I remind myself to look up, for the gods have painted a map for us in the heavens, if only we choose to follow it.
My mind drifts back to those days and nights often, when the world seemed to have shrunk down to just that sturdy ship and her crew, everything else lapsed away and mattering no longer.
There is so much dark water behind us, and so much more ahead of us, it is easy to be paralyzed by worry over what might be of what may lurk below the waves. I remind myself to look up, for the gods have painted a map for us in the heavens, if only we choose to follow it.
Written By Margot
Oct. 24, 2019, 2:28 p.m.(1/26/1012 AR)
This morning Alexander was sitting on the floor in my library staging some sort of conflict between his wooden army men when he asked where his grandmothers and grandfathers were.
I started telling him the complicated story of the hows and whys and Victoria who was studying by the fire looked up, sighed heavily and announced, "They're dead." Which was apparently the only answer he was seeking because he returned to his wooden soldiers and Victoria to her reading with no further queries.
My children taught me a valuable lesson this morning - sometimes the simplest and most direct answer is all that is needed.
I started telling him the complicated story of the hows and whys and Victoria who was studying by the fire looked up, sighed heavily and announced, "They're dead." Which was apparently the only answer he was seeking because he returned to his wooden soldiers and Victoria to her reading with no further queries.
My children taught me a valuable lesson this morning - sometimes the simplest and most direct answer is all that is needed.
Written By Margot
Sept. 9, 2019, 3:45 p.m.(10/20/1011 AR)
I would like for once for my largest issue of the day to be entirely mundane: something that can be solved with gentle wards, cold coin or a knife to the heart.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.