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Written By Lailah

Nov. 15, 2021, 12:48 a.m.(7/25/1016 AR)

Of late I have made more of an effort to go for walks within the city, especially in the early morning, noon, or mid-evening times when other duties have waned or do not yet call. I confess that for most of my life, walking was not a pleasure of mine, not when I could settle in with another book--whether an old friend or one newly discovered.

It is not terrible.

And I have made some enjoyable acquaintances, though I wonder if it was quite as enjoyable for them as I am not the most social of butterflies; they did not seem to mind and nobody took offense.

I wonder where others like to wander for a contemplative or enjoyable walk, or if they would enjoy someone to join in with them, for a little while. If anyone has any suggestions or would enjoy such a task and finds this journal, it would be interesting to hear from you.

Written By Lailah

March 21, 2021, 1:24 a.m.(2/24/1015 AR)

Relationship Note on Keely

My new patron, Princess Keely Grayson. I look forward to all she can teach me and our many conversations to come.

Written By Lailah

March 21, 2021, 1:15 a.m.(2/24/1015 AR)

Relationship Note on Lyra

I thought the scones we shared with the fruit and the tea were pretty good too. And without the weird taste of cider.

Written By Lailah

March 14, 2021, 11:41 a.m.(2/11/1015 AR)

Relationship Note on Sina

My last correspondence from Archscholar Sina Godsworn:

Date: 10/9/1014 AR

Lady Lailah,

I will be leaving the city for a time, heading to Tremorus to accompany the Seraceni and Pravosi
ships to investigate the rumors of Eurusi attempts to recruit the Shavs there. It seems my
particular presence is needed in this instance. I wished to let you know before my departure, so
that you can be prepared for my extended absence. I hope that you will be able to continue your
work as Magister of the Academy in my absence, and should you have a need for guidance, I have also
informed Legate Bianca of my intention to go, as well as Sir Preston. I suspect I shall return in
one piece. Until then, may the Gods keep you.

In faith and friendship,

Sina

Written By Lailah

March 12, 2021, 6:15 p.m.(2/7/1015 AR)

Relationship Note on Michael

Congratulations, dear brother. Duke Michael Bisland. None are more deserving and dedicated than you. You and father, both have my full support, I am so proud.

Written By Lailah

March 12, 2021, 2:49 a.m.(2/6/1015 AR)

Perhaps late to the journal, but better than never:

1. What is are you afraid of?

Failure and rejection. Perhaps that is common.

2. What are your opinions on honor?

Acting the way one wishes to be treated but also in a way that may be considered universally good and in accordance with the Pantheon.

3. What path do you see for yourself?

The path before me is open and yet, seemingly preordained. Both exciting and nerve-racking.

4. You can give one piece of advice who really needs advice to live by...what do you tell them.

Live a life of honor and service to those who matter to you most.

Written By Lailah

May 23, 2017, 9:28 a.m.(7/7/1006 AR)

With the white journals to chronicle our history, it is important to remember that these records we leave behind are the mark that we leave upon the world. Not only the things we say, but the things others say about us. As time moves forward and things change... We must wonder what we'll be remembered for. Will history remember you for your deeds? Have you led a life worthy of remembrance?

What seems reasonable today may be thought of poorly in the future. Thralldom is quickly becoming a thing of the past, it's seen far less favorably even in Thrax lands than it has been in previous times. The compact grows every day as the enemies become allies, joining our ranks and swelling our own numbers and strength. An open hand draws in far more than an iron fist, and when in, do we treat Prodigals with trust?

I know the dangers of the abandoned, I grew up hearing horrible stories and I'm not going to suggest that the threat they pose is any less than it once was, but I have misgivings about our plan. Kneel or die isn't a choice, it's holding loyalty hostage. Loyalty earned at the tip of a sword is tainted loyalty, it breeds dissent. Upon this new chapter of history, going forward, I hope to see our numbers grow greater, to see once abandoned become prodigal. They are of us, they are the compact.

So, to bring my first question to bear again, how will history remember you? Will you be seen as a hero, a beacon in the dark, or are you the bully? We must take care to see the waves of change, lest we be swallowed up, and take care that our legacy is one worthy of praise. All of us, together.

Written By Lailah

May 13, 2017, 3:34 p.m.(6/15/1006 AR)

Addendum to my previous entry: My Girlfriend is also allowed to tell me what to do.

Written By Lailah

May 13, 2017, 3:29 p.m.(6/15/1006 AR)

You know, I think it would behoove certain people to remember that can command me to do, or halt, anything is exceptionally small. It would be good if one can remember, this applies to not just me, but everybody in the compact. If a Prince you do not owe fealty to makes a command? You need not obey! It is important to remember this, as nobles especially. Commoners are not our collective servants to be ordered or bullied about. I'll also make a reminder that, even those I do accept and obey orders from, there is always a limit. The Dominus can order me in matters of faith, for example, but if he demands I serve him his meals at home, I will object. (Though, I adore Dominus Aldwin, so I may yet obey that command for my own reasons)

Military minded individuals should be reminded, you do not have absolute control. You cannot just order somebody around or throw rank where it is meaningless. To throw your rank and weight around makes you look weak, and to make that order of somebody that you hold nothing over makes you look foolish.

Just some observations I've had. For posterity, I'll just include, unless you are a Grayson, Dominus, Archscholar, or my parent, do not presume to tell me what to do. I encourage all to remember this of themselves when given an order by a Noble with a chip on their shoulder. You don't have to listen.

Written By Lailah

April 29, 2017, 5:55 p.m.(5/13/1006 AR)

"We win glory"

These three simple words are the words of my house. Of Bisland. On the face it is a simple declaration of martial prowess, but it is so much more than that. Our sigil is a roaring yellow lion, and our home is called Pridehall. My life was spent traveling between my two homes in Pridehall and Arx both. We spent much of our lives in Arx, in service to the crown. Never in all of our history, have we strayed from our sworn duty, to our service to Grayson and the compact.

Pridehall, so named for a family of lions, as is our sigil, is more than about pride, or power. It is a symbol of devotion, of loyalty to our allies and family. It represents all that we hold dear. More than the glory of battle, more than our might, we hold ourselves loyal to the crown, to Grayson, and to each other. My family is the most important thing to me, and I would throw that away for nothing, not for money, power, or love.

I've had to do some reflection on love in these last few days. Some say that they would do anything for their love, and I believe most mean it to a degree, but there is always the line that one has, that they must choose to betray themselves, or their heart. Hearts are foolish and care nothing for fealty, of loyalty or oaths taken over centuries. If there is one thing about me that is unwavering, and non negotiable it is my devotion to my family, the crown, and the compact. I will not let any insult to the integrity of my honor stand. I will not listen to my family belittled and disrespected, and I will not stand behind any that would even suggest that the enemies of Grayson are not their own enemies.

Bisland is a proud house. We win glory, and we stand behind the crown, and all the sons and daughters stand united, as loyal and unbreaking as any. If there are any left that would take my hand, know this: I am a Bisland by blood and virtue until the day of my death, no matter my name. An insult to my family, is an insult to me. I am loyal to Grayson and the crown. Their wars are my wars, period. They should also be yours. My loyalty is not for sale, and there is nothing you can offer that will change this. Not for money, not for power rank or title, and certainly not for something as ephemeral as romantic love.

Written By Lailah

April 1, 2017, 10:10 a.m.(3/11/1006 AR)

Through all the darkness that surrounds us, there is some small comfort that I can find to bring light to my life. I can only hope that the gods continue to smile down at my good fortune, and allow me to begin this, the next chapter of my life. I can hardly wait.

I'll also say that while I am happy that my Aunt Ann has finally returned to Arx, I do wish it hadn't been under these conditions. I hope the siege is ended soon, and normal life can resume. I have so many plans to make.

Written By Lailah

March 11, 2017, 1:31 a.m.(1/25/1006 AR)

Relationship Note on Asger

Asger is an interesting tower of a man, all muscle and scars, he's a formidable warrior. One that I've heard by reputation may well be one worth having at your side. He's rough spoken, enjoys drinking and gambling, and is, really, the last kind of man that I ever would see myself spending a great deal of time with.

So, why is it that I cannot stop thinking of him, and when he requests my company, I am so quick to accept? Why do I enjoy his company when he is so contrary to everything that I've ever surrounded myself with? His diversions from my normal duties have become a regular routine to break up the ordinarily heavy days. A little bit of levity goes a long way, and I truly need that in my life right now.

Although from a practical standpoint, he is a militarily conscious man, and one whom I enjoy the company of. If I must change my plans for my future, he could be a most welcome part of my future.

Written By Lailah

March 8, 2017, 9:23 a.m.(1/19/1006 AR)

These last few days have been busy, and filled with much that I wish I could write of. I worry what the future will bring, with all of our plans coming to fruition soon. All the searching and poring over numerous volumes had found a curiosity that served as the final piece in the puzzle that I'd found myself attempting to solve. The joy of discovery is truly a rush, and now that I'm done I'm back in the stacks, searching an even more elusive target. In this pursuit. I'm hopeful.

Written By Lailah

March 7, 2017, 3:47 a.m.(1/17/1006 AR)

The burdens of my chosen path take a toll on me at times when I do not expect them to. I had known my family would not be supportive of my decision to devote myself. I know it seems as if I'm leaving them all behind, and I suppose in a very real way it is true, but my devotion to Vellichor is absolute. I wish to serve him every day of my life, until I draw my last breath. Only my obligations hold me from my oaths, and yet there is still that burning sensation of need. My longing to assume my true chosen path.

My thoughts on the matter are uncharacteristically scattered. Clouded by so many conflicting emotions, and desires. I do not wish for my family to feel as if I'm abandoning them, but I know that the day is swiftly approaching. If it does not come, I know not what I will do with myself. If I must remain 1 year or 20, I will see to it that before my death, I will take my vows. I can only hope that I am seen as worthy in time.

Written By Lailah

Feb. 26, 2017, 11:57 p.m.(1/1/1006 AR)

Relationship Note on Cybele

Cybele is a very fascinating person that I've had the pleasure of meeting at one of the meetings of the mind some time ago. They're a very interesting person, and we've become quick friends. I must remember to spend more time with them in the future. Always good company, even though we always wind up just talking about business.

Written By Lailah

Feb. 26, 2017, 11:44 p.m.(1/1/1006 AR)

Relationship Note on Aislin

She is perhaps one of the brightest minds that I've ever had the pleasure to sit down and have a talk with. This was a most productive meeting, and I look forward to many more in the future.

Written By Lailah

Feb. 19, 2017, 2:33 p.m.(12/14/1005 AR)

Relationship Note on Sparte

I hope he realizes my anger lies not with him, but in whom sent him to me. He's a poor, naive fool, and for his own sake I hope he learns quickly that nothing is free, and all must be earned.

Written By Lailah

Feb. 19, 2017, 2:26 p.m.(12/14/1005 AR)

There are some things about me that I feel have been made unclear, and to all that find this I would like to remind you that my time as a Prelate and a Scholar is valuable, as is my personal and family business. If you wish my assistance, please be assured that you are not wasting my time first. I am not unreasonable, but one thing I am not is a charity, and I'm not in the business of issuing loans of silver. If you want my help, I am prepared to give it, but see to it that you have something OF VALUE to offer in return.

I am always available to be reached by messenger should anybody need help, just don't waste my time.

Written By Lailah

Feb. 5, 2017, 6:48 p.m.(11/10/1005 AR)

Relationship Note on Michael

After long fretting about my brother, he's finally returned to join the rest of his family in Arx. I heard the news, and upon finding that he was not home, I went to the next most likely place to find him, and as I expected, there he was in the Shrine of Gloria. There's always been something about Michael that brings out an easy spirit in me. I find myself jovial, and spirited in his presence. It's much like as a young girl, when I would follow him about. Though we much went our separate ways as adults, I'm glad to see that he still has that same effect on me.

Written By Lailah

Feb. 5, 2017, 6:38 p.m.(11/10/1005 AR)

People often ask me why I spend so much of my time cloistered alone with my books. They ask me why I don't come out, associate with the world and get some fresh air. The reason is quite simple; the world around me is an absolute madhouse. The news I've been hearing these last few weeks has done little to encourage my view from beyond my history books, but what I have found- it's been the best distraction I could ever hope for. Working on my own business, I wonder often how his own plans are going, and if we will ever have that moment of tranquility together again. For now, I'm focusing my efforts and doubling down on my work with the Scholars. If marriage comes, it comes. If it doesn't- well, few in my station are afforded the luxury of choice. I'll accept what I must.

As for the business. Dominus Fawkuhl accused of murdering the Grand Duchess Esera Velenosa? The disappearance of Duke Leo Fidante and Princess Dawn Grayson? A convocation being called for the first time in a century? I don't know what to expect next, but I hope it's a resolution to all that has been plaguing the city.

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