Written By Esoka
Nov. 21, 2019, 8:38 p.m.(3/27/1012 AR)
I have spent the last six years of my life in the city of Arx. I fought and bled for it of it during the Siege against the Silence's armies. I wielded the Twain and carried House Riven's honor while serving that House within its walls. And I have discovered new wellsprings of my faith and devotion in my work as a lay disciple for the Templars, in higher service to Gloria. I have made many friends whom I shall hold in my heart always. And I have known love, and bore a child to continue my line within my tribe. I have lived what feel like a half-dozen lifetimes here, in those years, and I am a better knight and better woman for all of them.
I prepare now for a journey which shall take me far beyond these walls. I am not sure when I will return. I have put my affairs in order as best I can and know this is a step I must take for service toward honor and duty. I shall hold tight the things I love. And yet, I leave much behind I have loved, too. I hope t to look upon it again someday, if I am fortunate enough to see another half-dozen years.
Gods keep.
I prepare now for a journey which shall take me far beyond these walls. I am not sure when I will return. I have put my affairs in order as best I can and know this is a step I must take for service toward honor and duty. I shall hold tight the things I love. And yet, I leave much behind I have loved, too. I hope t to look upon it again someday, if I am fortunate enough to see another half-dozen years.
Gods keep.
Written By Esoka
Aug. 14, 2019, 12:26 a.m.(8/23/1011 AR)
I think I knew what a civilized life was, when my grandfather's hand ruled the tribes of the Greenwood. The manners I learned as the blood of a chieftain were not Compact manners, but the standards were harsh in their own ways. I still feel the heaviness of such expectations upon me even now, though those that held me to them are long gone.
And I saw that civilization shattered when unworthy men, whose souls were given to darker things, rose up to take his place after his death.
I have served under rulers of worth within the Compact. I believe I do now, as well. And I hold the virtues of Gild as dear as ever I was raised to. The particular manners are different, the expectations as heavy in their own ways but not so different, I strive to uphold them so well as I can have.
And I saw that civilization shattered when unworthy men, whose souls were given to darker things, rose up to take his place after his death.
I have served under rulers of worth within the Compact. I believe I do now, as well. And I hold the virtues of Gild as dear as ever I was raised to. The particular manners are different, the expectations as heavy in their own ways but not so different, I strive to uphold them so well as I can have.
Written By Esoka
Aug. 11, 2019, 4:43 p.m.(8/18/1011 AR)
There are many stories about the fate of Lord Aramis Fournier. I will tell the truth as I saw it. He was captured, after many losses taken at the hands of his foul minions, and taken to a waystation of the Knights of Solace along the Great Road. It was the intention of the Templars there to hold him until he could be taken somewhere more secure face trial and public punishment - likely execution - for his evil deeds. But that did not come to pass. Instead, I saw with my own eyes him crossing the threshold of that holy place, and bursting into flames.
The conduct of Sir Preston and Lady Jael Laurent with the enemy captives has been nothing but honorable and any who think otherwise can take it up with me.
As for Aramis, I will not claim to mourn him, but I am sorrowful that his black acts were not punished in a way that honored the Sentinel, before all the righteous of the Compact. As it is, I pray they die with him.
The conduct of Sir Preston and Lady Jael Laurent with the enemy captives has been nothing but honorable and any who think otherwise can take it up with me.
As for Aramis, I will not claim to mourn him, but I am sorrowful that his black acts were not punished in a way that honored the Sentinel, before all the righteous of the Compact. As it is, I pray they die with him.
Written By Esoka
March 31, 2019, 10:42 p.m.(11/4/1010 AR)
I am still figuring out how to be a mother. Mostly, I am emerging from a fog of getting no sleep, and accepting that far less sleep will be part of my life. Estara has been all of my world for the past months, and I only now begin to get back into training, and into seeing what becomes of the world with each passing day. Much troubles me. I wish to take my sword to those who did foul murder to the prodigal pilgrims in the Oathlands. I thank the gods for those such as Lady Teagan, who found a better way and gave shelter to those Abandoned who would bend the knee as things turned increasingly tense. I hope I was some small part of saving some lives in that effort. I watch what goes on in the Northlands with utter fear and confusion, as it shall herald far darker things if it does not calm soon. We live in uncertain times, the Abyss never sleeps, and we are at our own throats to their glee more often than than not. My strength returns and my blade remains sharp. I shall ever be a knight and good servant of Gloria, and now I've more than ever to fight for.
Written By Esoka
March 31, 2019, 9:20 p.m.(11/4/1010 AR)
I am still getting back into proper fighting shape. Having a child is very taxing on one's body. I think it was worth it, on the whole, but I don't want to repeat the process anytime soon.
Still, I'm nearing back to where I want to be, and was most glad to participate in the joust at the Tournament of Roses. I've never been as strong in the cavalry as I am in the foot, but I'm proud enough of the showing I put up. Prince Fecundo unhorsed me after several passes, and it was no shame to fall to such a fine rider. I thought he might take the whole thing, but the victor was the Sword of Lenosia, Harlex, who won the top prize in a very dramatic series of passes with Sir Jeffeth. It was most fun to watch!
My own steed, as always, seemed to enjoy parading before the crowd more than I did. He would rather enjoy a year on the tournament circuit, I think. For my part, I shall just continue to hone myself as a horsewoman and look forward to the competition next year.
Still, I'm nearing back to where I want to be, and was most glad to participate in the joust at the Tournament of Roses. I've never been as strong in the cavalry as I am in the foot, but I'm proud enough of the showing I put up. Prince Fecundo unhorsed me after several passes, and it was no shame to fall to such a fine rider. I thought he might take the whole thing, but the victor was the Sword of Lenosia, Harlex, who won the top prize in a very dramatic series of passes with Sir Jeffeth. It was most fun to watch!
My own steed, as always, seemed to enjoy parading before the crowd more than I did. He would rather enjoy a year on the tournament circuit, I think. For my part, I shall just continue to hone myself as a horsewoman and look forward to the competition next year.
Written By Esoka
Feb. 21, 2019, 9:57 p.m.(8/13/1010 AR)
I dictate this to a Mercy, because childbirth is a very difficult and aggravating process. I am well and my child is well, though.
My daughter is well.
My first-born daughter, named Estara Greenblood, has come into the world.
I have no words for what I feel now. The world is overwhelming and yet holds something at its center that changes how I view it. I give my deep thanks to the Queen of Endings and Mother of Beginnings and to Lagoma, Her Lady of Change.
This is something new, a path not of duty or battle but of family, one my husband and I shall forge for ourselves. I know not what is down it, but I shall undertake the walk with a brave and loving heart. For my daughter.
My daughter is well.
My first-born daughter, named Estara Greenblood, has come into the world.
I have no words for what I feel now. The world is overwhelming and yet holds something at its center that changes how I view it. I give my deep thanks to the Queen of Endings and Mother of Beginnings and to Lagoma, Her Lady of Change.
This is something new, a path not of duty or battle but of family, one my husband and I shall forge for ourselves. I know not what is down it, but I shall undertake the walk with a brave and loving heart. For my daughter.
Written By Esoka
Feb. 3, 2019, 11:03 p.m.(7/5/1010 AR)
The ceremony of lanterns was so very pretty! Praise be to Legate Aureth, Lady Carita, Prince Laric, and all my fellow disciples how had a hand in making it happen.
My thoughts have been often with the Mother of Beginnings and Lady of Change of late, as I await the coming of the child. Will I be able to protect it from the world as it is? Will Calaudrin and I provide a good life for it.
We'll try and do our best and love it. I hope that's enough. I pray that's enough.
My thoughts have been often with the Mother of Beginnings and Lady of Change of late, as I await the coming of the child. Will I be able to protect it from the world as it is? Will Calaudrin and I provide a good life for it.
We'll try and do our best and love it. I hope that's enough. I pray that's enough.
Written By Esoka
Jan. 20, 2019, 8:56 p.m.(6/4/1010 AR)
I have been considering names for the child. I think we've decided on Estara Greenblood if it's a girl, and Lucas Greenblood if it's a boy.
That is one decision out of the way, at least. There seem a hundred more things to prepare for and only four months to do it in.
The world is every day a place of chaos I did not anticipate. Each time I think one problem is solved, another arises. I pray the Compact will steer its future wisely, and that I shall find a firm foothold in whatever our society looks like a year's time. And I look forward to picking up my sword again, I do confess. There remain many evils to fight, whoever our allies end up being. I think I shall spend all my days trying to make the world safer for my child. I am not sure how well I shall succeed. I shall try, though.
That is one decision out of the way, at least. There seem a hundred more things to prepare for and only four months to do it in.
The world is every day a place of chaos I did not anticipate. Each time I think one problem is solved, another arises. I pray the Compact will steer its future wisely, and that I shall find a firm foothold in whatever our society looks like a year's time. And I look forward to picking up my sword again, I do confess. There remain many evils to fight, whoever our allies end up being. I think I shall spend all my days trying to make the world safer for my child. I am not sure how well I shall succeed. I shall try, though.
Written By Esoka
Jan. 10, 2019, 12:50 a.m.(5/1/1010 AR)
My heart is torn at each piece of news coming in from across the Compact.
I search my better self for anything but fiery anger and hate for those who murdered the prodigals who ventured to the Oathlands to serve Lagoma, and their Templar guardians, who have been my comrades this past year or more. Murdered the servants of the Pantheon while cloaking themselves in righteousness. Wrath is not an impulse Gloria regards well, yet I am only mortal, and cannot help what I feel.
I recall my own years as a girl in my tribe, and my heart is black for other reasons, as well, which I shall not share in the whites. Save that the gods see all and govern all and the Sentinel's judgment comes for all those who do black acts in the end, whoever they claim to serve.
I grieve for the Knights of Solace, and for all those who fell in this stupidity.
I pray temperance comes over me before then so that I can do what must be done with a measure of mercy and service.
I search my better self for anything but fiery anger and hate for those who murdered the prodigals who ventured to the Oathlands to serve Lagoma, and their Templar guardians, who have been my comrades this past year or more. Murdered the servants of the Pantheon while cloaking themselves in righteousness. Wrath is not an impulse Gloria regards well, yet I am only mortal, and cannot help what I feel.
I recall my own years as a girl in my tribe, and my heart is black for other reasons, as well, which I shall not share in the whites. Save that the gods see all and govern all and the Sentinel's judgment comes for all those who do black acts in the end, whoever they claim to serve.
I grieve for the Knights of Solace, and for all those who fell in this stupidity.
I pray temperance comes over me before then so that I can do what must be done with a measure of mercy and service.
Written By Esoka
Dec. 23, 2018, 12:53 p.m.(3/22/1010 AR)
There's so much sadness in the city right now. In the world. I was plagued by strange dreams the night the clocktower came down. Nightmares of destruction and death I can barely recall upon waking. I feel something good was lost, even if I don't understand it quite, and I've prayed to the Queen of Endings much of late, mourning what I only knew the edges of.
Some are giving into despair, but I think I've pushed past it. There's so much light in my life, and I want to hold to it fast right now. Protect it and make it all the brighter. A very wise person once told me that the only path I HAD to follow in life was to live it, to embrace it, to make it my own. There shall always be evil to fight and awful days, but there will be wonderful ones, too, and I shall try to hold them in my mind and heart as a shield.
I was praying a few nights ago, not to the Queen of Endings as the shepherd of Death, but to the Mother of Beginnings. For I learned that Calaudrin and I expect our first child come autumn. I pray he or she shall be healthy, and I promise we'll make the best home for them we can. It fills me up with joy, this new life, this promise of furthering our name and love and creating something new and good.
As I prayed with my husband and we talked of our future, we saw a shooting star in the sky. Was it an omen? I'm no mystic, but I think so, and I think it was a good one. I'll take it as one, at least, and forge on to all the joys I can hold in my life, even if there are moments of despair. There's much happiness in the world, too, and I'll take all of it I'm able while I can.
Some are giving into despair, but I think I've pushed past it. There's so much light in my life, and I want to hold to it fast right now. Protect it and make it all the brighter. A very wise person once told me that the only path I HAD to follow in life was to live it, to embrace it, to make it my own. There shall always be evil to fight and awful days, but there will be wonderful ones, too, and I shall try to hold them in my mind and heart as a shield.
I was praying a few nights ago, not to the Queen of Endings as the shepherd of Death, but to the Mother of Beginnings. For I learned that Calaudrin and I expect our first child come autumn. I pray he or she shall be healthy, and I promise we'll make the best home for them we can. It fills me up with joy, this new life, this promise of furthering our name and love and creating something new and good.
As I prayed with my husband and we talked of our future, we saw a shooting star in the sky. Was it an omen? I'm no mystic, but I think so, and I think it was a good one. I'll take it as one, at least, and forge on to all the joys I can hold in my life, even if there are moments of despair. There's much happiness in the world, too, and I'll take all of it I'm able while I can.
Written By Esoka
Dec. 23, 2018, 12:32 a.m.(3/21/1010 AR)
Relationship Note on Calaudrin
Adequate is a great compliment! I judged many men inadequate before I met you.
It has been nearly two years since we wed, and my heart grows fuller each day. In times of sadness and despair, you're my strength. In times of joy, you make my heart sing bigger and brighter than I ever thought it could. I love you, my husband, and we shall make all the next years and this next adventure of ours glorious.
It has been nearly two years since we wed, and my heart grows fuller each day. In times of sadness and despair, you're my strength. In times of joy, you make my heart sing bigger and brighter than I ever thought it could. I love you, my husband, and we shall make all the next years and this next adventure of ours glorious.
Written By Esoka
Dec. 9, 2018, 10:36 p.m.(2/23/1010 AR)
Relationship Note on Harper
There are lots of ways to measure family, but I think as good a one as any is, if anyone messes with them, you will go to battle for them and crack the skulls of the offenders soundly. Know you shall always be able to count on me for this, Harper. Whatever requires bashing.
Written By Esoka
Dec. 9, 2018, 7:35 p.m.(2/22/1010 AR)
I am so often tired this winter. I think all the snow is getting to me. I miss the warmth of spring and summer. Swimming and fishing and losing whole days in the woodlands on a good hunt. It particularly gets to me in the city, I think. The stone always seems cold to me, and true cold makes it even more so. One of these days I'll spent a month or so in the Twainfort, among its rivers and visiting my tribesfolk. Likely not for awhile, though. Duty, and what my life has become in this city, hold me here. And I joy in them and know I'd miss them if I left Arx even for a visit.
I had a very fine day in the shrine of Mangata which took my mind from the cold, though. It still feels a wild place, even as the koi swim beneath a light layer of ice and the birds are quieter during the snows. The winds and rains and rivers and seas call so strongly to my heart that I'm used to the ache of it, and nearly forget it until I'm paying attention.
In a few months, it will be spring, and then after summer again. I shall swim in the oceans and lose myself for hours in the waves. But, for now, I'm grateful for the snow, too, and the more chill breezes, for ice is the domain of the goddess, too, and brings its own cleansing sort of comfort.
I had a very fine day in the shrine of Mangata which took my mind from the cold, though. It still feels a wild place, even as the koi swim beneath a light layer of ice and the birds are quieter during the snows. The winds and rains and rivers and seas call so strongly to my heart that I'm used to the ache of it, and nearly forget it until I'm paying attention.
In a few months, it will be spring, and then after summer again. I shall swim in the oceans and lose myself for hours in the waves. But, for now, I'm grateful for the snow, too, and the more chill breezes, for ice is the domain of the goddess, too, and brings its own cleansing sort of comfort.
Written By Esoka
Nov. 25, 2018, 8:23 p.m.(1/22/1010 AR)
Relationship Note on Irisa
On the subject of things I'm proud of, I shall take a moment to put down my affection for my fellow knight, my comrade-in-arms in Riven, and my dear friend, Irisa Wainryte. All accounts of her conduct in the fight to preserve the Lodge of Petrichor tell nothing less than a proper display of honor and bravery, and it is her steadfast service to our people that made me comfortable in taking my leave to pursue contemplation of my Faith, for I know she shall protect the folk of Riven with her blood and life. She's come so far from the girl she was once, and she shall ever remain dear to my heart.
Written By Esoka
Nov. 24, 2018, 12:23 p.m.(1/19/1010 AR)
I've much to write. I've been keeping clear of the Archives, for various reasons. But, I should make my entries to Vellichor about the things in my life which seem important and that I'm proud of this day. So, here is one.
I played in Aion's Grand Melee, and play seems the proper word for it. It wasn't like a sparring match or the sort of athletic game where I usually compete, and I'm not much an actress or performer. I think the audience found me amusing, though. I was voted to win a prize, and I've a pretty new set of hairpins for it. I don't really think I was the best dressed. Mostly, I just put on a lot of things other people had bought for me that weren't armor. Which is certainly more fashionable than I usually am. It was a silly, merry time spent hitting other folk with pillows to raise a bit of coin for Aion's Shrine, which is time well-spent so far as I'm concerned.
I'm very curious about Aion but know so little of Him. Which I think is fairly common. The Dream surrounds so much of our lives, so much of what the gods and beings like the First Children are. And yet, He feels unknowable. Maybe when the shrine is renovated it will encourage people, myself included, to know him better.
I played in Aion's Grand Melee, and play seems the proper word for it. It wasn't like a sparring match or the sort of athletic game where I usually compete, and I'm not much an actress or performer. I think the audience found me amusing, though. I was voted to win a prize, and I've a pretty new set of hairpins for it. I don't really think I was the best dressed. Mostly, I just put on a lot of things other people had bought for me that weren't armor. Which is certainly more fashionable than I usually am. It was a silly, merry time spent hitting other folk with pillows to raise a bit of coin for Aion's Shrine, which is time well-spent so far as I'm concerned.
I'm very curious about Aion but know so little of Him. Which I think is fairly common. The Dream surrounds so much of our lives, so much of what the gods and beings like the First Children are. And yet, He feels unknowable. Maybe when the shrine is renovated it will encourage people, myself included, to know him better.
Written By Esoka
Nov. 19, 2018, 12:52 a.m.(1/8/1010 AR)
Relationship Note on Calaudrin
I am happy you like your horse and the other guards like your horse.
You still need to name her.
Otherwise, I thank all gods we're both alive. Maybe we can attend to more fun things now that the Lodge is settled. I shall prepare a calendar.
You still need to name her.
Otherwise, I thank all gods we're both alive. Maybe we can attend to more fun things now that the Lodge is settled. I shall prepare a calendar.
Written By Esoka
Nov. 12, 2018, 8:47 p.m.(12/24/1009 AR)
As I gird myself for my service at the Lodge of Petrichor, I would like to put down in Vellichor my thanks to the armor and weapon smiths of the Compact. I am ever in awe of the gifts in both creativity and function their works show. We who fight would be pierced in a matter of seconds without the plate and leathers that protect us, and our foes could not be felled without sharp and true blades. It is easy to overlook the role Jayus plays in keeping us strong and protected, but I figure He's as important as Gloria or Gild or Limerance for it. When we go to battle, we need not only our courage and fidelity to each other and strength of civilization, but the skill and creative talent of all who keep us armored and armed.
Written By Esoka
Nov. 11, 2018, 12:30 a.m.(12/20/1009 AR)
As I prepare to fight in defense of Petrichor at the Lodge, I figured it'd be proper to spend some time in His shrine today. It was lovely. I usually resist climbing the trees there but, when I came upon King Alaric in a tree himself, it seemed not only all right, but the thing that MUST be done. I sat among the branches and talked with good, brave folk and thought on the land and the import of what I was protecting. It was a good day, and a feeling I shall take with me in what is to come.
Written By Esoka
Nov. 9, 2018, 10:39 a.m.(12/17/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Calaudrin
My husband is 40 years of age now. I'll confess I assumed he was this age already a few years ago, which must mean he's well-prepared for it. I've gifted him a horse. He's a knight now, so he needs one, and i think she's a good and steady creature who will do well by him.
A happy birthday, my love. Maybe next year we'll get another animal. Perhaps a cat!
A happy birthday, my love. Maybe next year we'll get another animal. Perhaps a cat!
Written By Esoka
Nov. 4, 2018, 10:18 p.m.(12/8/1009 AR)
I spent a very fine evening in the company of the Iron Guard of Arx. They're as solid a lot of people to drink and talk with as one could want, and I often think they don't get enough credit for the work they do on the streets of the city each day. I'm biased, of course, but it's true all the same. I hope some of the citizenry will say thank you the next time they see one of the guards. Or at least, don't throw rotten cabbage. It smells awful.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.