Written By Ember
May 4, 2022, 5:33 a.m.(8/1/1017 AR)
Relationship Note on Saverio
Though my marriage to Count Saverio Redreef, nee Lord Saverio Inverno, lasted only a month before his passing, our courtship carried on both formally and informally for some four years. In that time, the man who would become my husband saw in me things about me that I did not recognize, and helped me to see them in myself as well. That is what I will forever remember about him: his ability to keenly perceive that which others did not.
In those years of knowing him, only once did I ever see fear or dread cross his features. Only once did I ever see him surprised or awestruck. Those times were not the same incident, either. Even when he faced down death as a monstrous wolf attacked his new family in the Redreef Estate, he did not show fear. He fought for his life and nearly succeeded in besting the creature that killed him. It was not enough, but had his life not been sacrificed, a half-dozen members of my family would surely have died as well.
Count Saverio mostly infuriated and vexed me. He always knew the perfect thing to say to set me off-kilter, or pierce a weak point in my armor that I didn't even realize was there. He could always notice what others didn't. I doubt that I will ever know another person who will ever be so capable of so effortlessly making me angry to the degree that Count Saverio made me angry. There was grace and talent in the way he seemed to not even need to try.
I don't have anything else to write. He's dead now. He was torn in half at the waist, in front of me, and I hugged the top half of his body to myself as the world spun around me. Then the world stopped spinning, and now I must continue on with things without him. In that, he's found one last and perfect way to make me livid.
In those years of knowing him, only once did I ever see fear or dread cross his features. Only once did I ever see him surprised or awestruck. Those times were not the same incident, either. Even when he faced down death as a monstrous wolf attacked his new family in the Redreef Estate, he did not show fear. He fought for his life and nearly succeeded in besting the creature that killed him. It was not enough, but had his life not been sacrificed, a half-dozen members of my family would surely have died as well.
Count Saverio mostly infuriated and vexed me. He always knew the perfect thing to say to set me off-kilter, or pierce a weak point in my armor that I didn't even realize was there. He could always notice what others didn't. I doubt that I will ever know another person who will ever be so capable of so effortlessly making me angry to the degree that Count Saverio made me angry. There was grace and talent in the way he seemed to not even need to try.
I don't have anything else to write. He's dead now. He was torn in half at the waist, in front of me, and I hugged the top half of his body to myself as the world spun around me. Then the world stopped spinning, and now I must continue on with things without him. In that, he's found one last and perfect way to make me livid.
Written By Ember
May 1, 2022, 7:43 a.m.(7/24/1017 AR)
The physicians at Redreef Shores tell me that I am about a month into pregnancy.
My armor's breastplate fits awkwardly and painfully.
I am tired from even moderate swordplay exercise.
Everything smells so vivid and intense in a way that makes me wish only to cut off my own nose and cauterize the crater.
How do other noblewomen end up with nine children? This has barely started and I am ready to swear to the gods that I will never let my husband touch me again, for what he's done to me. I will drink Limerance tea by the gallon until it's replaced at least one of my humors.
This child had better not be a pest or a runt. They had better be worth this trouble.
My armor's breastplate fits awkwardly and painfully.
I am tired from even moderate swordplay exercise.
Everything smells so vivid and intense in a way that makes me wish only to cut off my own nose and cauterize the crater.
How do other noblewomen end up with nine children? This has barely started and I am ready to swear to the gods that I will never let my husband touch me again, for what he's done to me. I will drink Limerance tea by the gallon until it's replaced at least one of my humors.
This child had better not be a pest or a runt. They had better be worth this trouble.
Written By Ember
April 19, 2022, 7:35 a.m.(6/28/1017 AR)
Relationship Note on Saverio
It is done.
I am a married woman.
If the wedding night was productive, then within a year I will be a mother.
I thought that I would be disturbed by how different I would feel. Instead, I am disturbed by how I do not feel different at all. I have changed my life in many profound ways, these last few years, and this should have been the most profound of them all. Why does it not feel so?
Perhaps I should take heart that regardless of marriage, regardless of maternity, I am still myself, as I know the concept.
I am a married woman.
If the wedding night was productive, then within a year I will be a mother.
I thought that I would be disturbed by how different I would feel. Instead, I am disturbed by how I do not feel different at all. I have changed my life in many profound ways, these last few years, and this should have been the most profound of them all. Why does it not feel so?
Perhaps I should take heart that regardless of marriage, regardless of maternity, I am still myself, as I know the concept.
Written By Ember
March 17, 2022, 9:13 a.m.(4/18/1017 AR)
Relationship Note on Saverio
Let the Great Archives forever retain this record of my truthful testimony: My betrothal to Lord Saverio Inverno is in no way a love match.
Save your applause, reader. I need no special commendations.
Save your applause, reader. I need no special commendations.
Written By Ember
Feb. 5, 2022, 9:41 a.m.(1/22/1017 AR)
I am returned from the Blackshore-Stormblood wedding. I am certain that word of what transpired is already in circulation among the gossips and busybodies of Arx, so the details of the massacre do not bear repeating here.
A punch from a gauntleted fist has, according to the Physicians, broken my jaw. It will heal, in time. I am under orders to speak as little as possible, and when I must, not more than a whisper. Compared to the many lives lost, this is but a pittance. For a moment it seemed as though Baron Aedric had expired, only to be brought back from the brink by the medical expertise of those on hand.
Despite the terrible circumstances, I register my pride in Baroness Scylla Blackshore for rising to lead amidst the chaos. She will make proud the Mourning Isles -- the true Mourning Isles, those who look to the Isles' future and dive deep, rather than attempting to remain craven and afraid in the shallows of its past.
A punch from a gauntleted fist has, according to the Physicians, broken my jaw. It will heal, in time. I am under orders to speak as little as possible, and when I must, not more than a whisper. Compared to the many lives lost, this is but a pittance. For a moment it seemed as though Baron Aedric had expired, only to be brought back from the brink by the medical expertise of those on hand.
Despite the terrible circumstances, I register my pride in Baroness Scylla Blackshore for rising to lead amidst the chaos. She will make proud the Mourning Isles -- the true Mourning Isles, those who look to the Isles' future and dive deep, rather than attempting to remain craven and afraid in the shallows of its past.
Written By Ember
July 30, 2021, 9:44 a.m.(12/6/1015 AR)
The Scholars, upon review of my latest White Journal entry, have asked me to write publicly and clarify that I am not seeking suggestions for a name for my dog, and especially not suggestions sent via White Journals.
He is a dog. He does not need a name. And the Scholars are very busy today.
He is a dog. He does not need a name. And the Scholars are very busy today.
Written By Ember
July 30, 2021, 9:41 a.m.(12/6/1015 AR)
Two thoughts to be recorded for posterity for all time, to be preserved in the Great Archive and kept as part of my legacy to historians of the future, to whatever extent they may use them.
One thought, which I expect they might find useful, whether I am a chapter in the historian's volume or a mere footnote, is that I recognize the honor that comes in being born of the Redreef bloodline. House Redreef has a proud lineage that trails back centuries... to when an old soldier, loyal and steadfast, was ennobled by the Count of Darkwater Watch to be the first Baron of the newly created domain of Redreef Shores. Redreef is "old blood" now, but it was once new, and it fought to earn its standing just as other new noble Houses fight now.
To that end, my belief is simple. There are those noble Houses who would fight alongside Redreef, and there are those who would work against us, whether to lift their swords or to throw more subtle stumbling blocks in the path of our continued success. That, and only that, is the measure by which I judge the character of a House. Thus far it has served me well.
My second thought, which with my luck will end up being the one historians actually preserve, is that I haven't even given my own gods-damned dog a NAME.
One thought, which I expect they might find useful, whether I am a chapter in the historian's volume or a mere footnote, is that I recognize the honor that comes in being born of the Redreef bloodline. House Redreef has a proud lineage that trails back centuries... to when an old soldier, loyal and steadfast, was ennobled by the Count of Darkwater Watch to be the first Baron of the newly created domain of Redreef Shores. Redreef is "old blood" now, but it was once new, and it fought to earn its standing just as other new noble Houses fight now.
To that end, my belief is simple. There are those noble Houses who would fight alongside Redreef, and there are those who would work against us, whether to lift their swords or to throw more subtle stumbling blocks in the path of our continued success. That, and only that, is the measure by which I judge the character of a House. Thus far it has served me well.
My second thought, which with my luck will end up being the one historians actually preserve, is that I haven't even given my own gods-damned dog a NAME.
Written By Ember
May 5, 2021, 7:57 a.m.(6/2/1015 AR)
We have fought, and won, and performed our duty to protect Arvum and honor Gloria. If there is any regret instilled within me by such a swift and decisive victory, it is only that Gloria did not ask us to honor her more. I do so enjoy when a tribute to the gods lasts long enough to savor.
Written By Ember
April 30, 2021, 9:04 a.m.(5/20/1015 AR)
There are only two options in this world: to be the one thrusting the blade, or to be the one being pierced by it. I have chosen my side.
If I die, then I will take as many Eurusi with me as I can. I will raise the sea level from the spillage of their blood, and strain the spokes of the Wheel from the souls hurled upon it in heaps. The forces of the Compact will cull these wild dogs until there are not enough of them left to row a single boat back to their home. To die in service to the world is a death worth suffering.
If I die, then I will take as many Eurusi with me as I can. I will raise the sea level from the spillage of their blood, and strain the spokes of the Wheel from the souls hurled upon it in heaps. The forces of the Compact will cull these wild dogs until there are not enough of them left to row a single boat back to their home. To die in service to the world is a death worth suffering.
Written By Ember
April 15, 2021, 7:47 a.m.(4/18/1015 AR)
In the Redreef Estate's main hall hangs a portrait of myself, swinging the severed head of Ivan Helianthus by its hair. When His Highness Prince Tyrus Thrax painted the image, I found it a suitable summation of my feelings.
Now, I regret the painting deeply. I do not regret it because Ivan Helianthus is dead. I regret it because that is the only detail of Prince Tyrus's painting that turned out to be prophetic. I look at the image of myself and think of what might have been.
Now, I regret the painting deeply. I do not regret it because Ivan Helianthus is dead. I regret it because that is the only detail of Prince Tyrus's painting that turned out to be prophetic. I look at the image of myself and think of what might have been.
Written By Ember
April 5, 2021, 8:46 a.m.(3/26/1015 AR)
While much of the noble family was away clearing up the shav problem north of Redreef Shores, the Redreef Estate within Arx has been renovated and redecorated. My requests have been honored by the builders, and I find the new look of the place entirely to my liking. It is a fearsome home for a fearsome family.
Written By Ember
April 2, 2021, 12:01 p.m.(3/21/1015 AR)
Clan Horderacht is fallen. May this journal be the last time their name is written. They do not deserve history.
Horderacht Isle is now Redreef's, as it should have been. What is done with it going forward is not nearly as important as having taken what is ours.
Horderacht Isle is now Redreef's, as it should have been. What is done with it going forward is not nearly as important as having taken what is ours.
Written By Ember
March 13, 2021, 10:22 a.m.(2/9/1015 AR)
With the new friends and acquaintances that I have made in the last few weeks, and the existing friendships that have deepened of late, it is all too tempting to wonder if it is the gods' will that I am in such good company.
Written By Ember
March 5, 2021, 7:24 a.m.(1/20/1015 AR)
On the twelfth day of the twelfth month of 1013 AR, I made a decision. It was then that my life began, as I know it currently. I spent some months wondering if I had been correct in my decision.
On the nineteenth day of the first month of 1015 AR, I made another. It is not a new beginning. It is further vindication of that decision in 1013. I made the correct choice. I stopped fighting, and embraced myself. I could have spent my entire life struggling in vain. Instead, I am strong.
To you reading this, be you scholar, noble peer, common folk, historian hundreds of years on... You can be strong, too. Fight your enemies. Fight them and win. Do not make yourself weak by trying to be something you are not. Do not show the world your soft belly and ask it to take pity on you. Show the world who you truly are.
An enemy who has found inner peace is the most dangerous and frightening enemy of all. Be this enemy to those who oppose you.
On the nineteenth day of the first month of 1015 AR, I made another. It is not a new beginning. It is further vindication of that decision in 1013. I made the correct choice. I stopped fighting, and embraced myself. I could have spent my entire life struggling in vain. Instead, I am strong.
To you reading this, be you scholar, noble peer, common folk, historian hundreds of years on... You can be strong, too. Fight your enemies. Fight them and win. Do not make yourself weak by trying to be something you are not. Do not show the world your soft belly and ask it to take pity on you. Show the world who you truly are.
An enemy who has found inner peace is the most dangerous and frightening enemy of all. Be this enemy to those who oppose you.
Written By Ember
March 2, 2021, 6:52 a.m.(1/14/1015 AR)
Relationship Note on Martinique
General Martinique Barlinnie was born in the Oathlands, though her journey has taken her far away. House Redreef first encountered her in 1014 AR, as the leader of a company of mercenaries who sought to use an island in our waters as a dock and a base camp. This put them into conflict with a nearby shav tribe, Clan Horderacht. On the advice of my family and allies, I hired Messere Barlinnie and her soldiers. Clan Horderacht attacked the mercenaries and inflicted grievous losses upon them. Messere Barlinnie was left a commander without a command. That has changed.
Martinique Barlinnie has sworn an oath to fight for House Redreef. She commands House Redreef's infantry, and will lead them into battle against our enemies. Her revenge upon Clan Horderacht will now be House Redreef's to share. She is ours now, and it is where she belongs.
Martinique Barlinnie has sworn an oath to fight for House Redreef. She commands House Redreef's infantry, and will lead them into battle against our enemies. Her revenge upon Clan Horderacht will now be House Redreef's to share. She is ours now, and it is where she belongs.
Written By Ember
Feb. 27, 2021, 9:21 a.m.(1/9/1015 AR)
War looms on three fronts.
Skal'daja.
The apostates Ivan and Waldo.
The shavs, Clan Horderacht.
I am recovered enough to fight. All three of the above will be exterminated without mercy. My anticipation thrashes within me like crashing waves.
Skal'daja.
The apostates Ivan and Waldo.
The shavs, Clan Horderacht.
I am recovered enough to fight. All three of the above will be exterminated without mercy. My anticipation thrashes within me like crashing waves.
Written By Ember
Feb. 21, 2021, 3:21 p.m.(12/22/1014 AR)
I am grateful to those who have visited me while I recover from the attempt made upon my life. I am just as grateful to those who have written to express their regards. I am most grateful of all to those who have visited or written to affirm their desire to see the one who harmed me drawn and quartered. Those are dear friends and lovers indeed.
Written By Ember
Feb. 16, 2021, 2:57 p.m.(12/12/1014 AR)
My gratitude is extended to Violine Sunwheel, the lady-in-waiting of my retinue who transcribes this for me today.
I lie bedridden, nearly felled by an assassin's arrow to my belly. I am told that I am lucky to have survived. I am on bed rest for a few more days yet. Rum helps me to sleep despite the pain. It has been suggested to me that for a long while yet it will look as though I have a second, off-center navel.
The one who let that arrow fly, with intent to murder me, is the shav Hector Blackreef. I will see him pay for his transgression.
It was the assistance of my cousin Lady Sedna and the woman who helped to raise me, Zoya Kotov, that saved my life. Their courage in the face of armed enemies inspires me, and confirms to me that there is a warrior in every soul to come from Redreef Shores. Redreef Shores is blessed by the gods for this.
Violine, do not write this down. I must say it for my own edification. Despite our differences, I truly love my cousin Sedna. As I truly love Zoya. These things should be said and not held inside of oneself, but perhaps not recorded in the whites. Perhaps I will give them medals.
Violine, is your hand moving?
Are you continuing to write?
Did you write down what I just said not to transcribe?
Why are you still continuing to write?
I lie bedridden, nearly felled by an assassin's arrow to my belly. I am told that I am lucky to have survived. I am on bed rest for a few more days yet. Rum helps me to sleep despite the pain. It has been suggested to me that for a long while yet it will look as though I have a second, off-center navel.
The one who let that arrow fly, with intent to murder me, is the shav Hector Blackreef. I will see him pay for his transgression.
It was the assistance of my cousin Lady Sedna and the woman who helped to raise me, Zoya Kotov, that saved my life. Their courage in the face of armed enemies inspires me, and confirms to me that there is a warrior in every soul to come from Redreef Shores. Redreef Shores is blessed by the gods for this.
Violine, do not write this down. I must say it for my own edification. Despite our differences, I truly love my cousin Sedna. As I truly love Zoya. These things should be said and not held inside of oneself, but perhaps not recorded in the whites. Perhaps I will give them medals.
Violine, is your hand moving?
Are you continuing to write?
Did you write down what I just said not to transcribe?
Why are you still continuing to write?
Written By Ember
Feb. 11, 2021, 11:56 a.m.(12/2/1014 AR)
I have been painted.
Prince Tyrus Thrax used me as his model. I felt rather foolish in the moment, holding a prop and staring at an imaginary horizon (in truth, a tree in the Eswynd garden). This is one of those things where I can only admit that the artistic mind is one foreign to me. Despite my inner apprehension, I feel that His Highness represented me very well. If I am to be remembered in any way, this painting is one that I deem suitable.
Prince Tyrus Thrax used me as his model. I felt rather foolish in the moment, holding a prop and staring at an imaginary horizon (in truth, a tree in the Eswynd garden). This is one of those things where I can only admit that the artistic mind is one foreign to me. Despite my inner apprehension, I feel that His Highness represented me very well. If I am to be remembered in any way, this painting is one that I deem suitable.
Written By Ember
Feb. 5, 2021, 5:28 a.m.(11/17/1014 AR)
Any in the Isles who wish to tune up their armies by laying waste to a shav'arvani tribe that has threatened my holdings, do send a messenger. It will be good to make sure that these soldiers are ready for war.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.