Written By Cesare
Jan. 16, 2022, 8:01 p.m.(12/11/1016 AR)
Relationship Note on Macario
My goodness. Who told you I am chased by demons? Or is this simply a very clever metaphor for how quickly I sometimes have to leave to attend to my duties, or perhaps you refer to demons of a more intangible sort? In any case, I hope someone will inform the demons they are meant to be chasing me, they've been quite lax in their duties. On second thought, perhaps do not.
Written By Cesare
Jan. 9, 2022, 5:56 p.m.(11/25/1016 AR)
Another difficult week, this week. The feeling that each path my footsteps leads me down is blocked to my entry only increases. The gods know I am trying. I am doing all I can. And despite what some might counsel, it is not in my character to be content to sit back and rest on the assurances of others when I know that I have two good hands and at least a few decent thoughts rattling around between my ears with which to help. I will have to take more time - precious time which we do not have - to try and gather further information and possibly more allies before I make any further efforts. Despite what has been assumed, I am not cavalier with the lives of others, or with my own. I only find it unfathomable that I might not do all I can to prevent tragedy from spreading more widely than it already has.
Each day that passes brings more opportunities for our enemies to strike. These villages - all those lost in Bastion. What will be next? I haven't lost hope; I never do. But I must reassess.
Each day that passes brings more opportunities for our enemies to strike. These villages - all those lost in Bastion. What will be next? I haven't lost hope; I never do. But I must reassess.
Written By Cesare
Jan. 2, 2022, 8:25 p.m.(11/11/1016 AR)
I've always been a firm believer in the idea that if one pays close enough attention, one can find hints in the world. It is often for lack of mindfulness and observation that we find ourselves fumbling. Certainly this is not to say that there are not plenty of secrets which try their hardest to conceal themselves from wandering eyes, but even those may sometimes be sussed out by a keen enough scrutiny.
Sometimes, however, one gets the sense that the message one is being sent is to take a step back. Remove oneself from the board, for a time. And I sense it would be foolish not to obey that sort of intuition.
Sometimes, however, one gets the sense that the message one is being sent is to take a step back. Remove oneself from the board, for a time. And I sense it would be foolish not to obey that sort of intuition.
Written By Cesare
Dec. 26, 2021, 2:37 p.m.(10/24/1016 AR)
What a tumult it has been. There's no other word for it, the sensation of one's emotions and hopes being jerked from one extreme to the other. To see and feel things of unspeakable, sublime beauty, and then the very next evening to be confronted with sinking dread. I am only too grateful that I have many around me who hold me strong in the arms of their support and love, whose reassurance is swift and firm, and whose hands are at the ready to act whenever there is need. I haven't had enough time to sing, lately, but perhaps my heart and soul will sing for me, in gratitude, along with the uncertainty.
I have though a great deal recently about words. A Whisper knows that truth is no one thing to all people, and words are much the same. The difference between uncertainty and doubt. Between relief and release. What does it mean, liberation? How is it different from freedom? The suggestion of the personal, for one: 'liberty' having a distinctly singular note to it, whereas 'freedom' can be far more universal. But liberation is more active than freedom, too, and suggests a casting-off, a leaving behind. Decisiveness. And, possibly, a sort of cavalierness; an excess of freedom might lead to chaos, after all.
If you have heard old tales of magic, spell-casting, perhaps you too have wondered about the words, the intent behind them, required. I suppose that's part of why this mental exercise fascinates so. The other part, probably the larger, is, of course, that I am a hopelessly artistic soul by nature and cannot be stopped from indulging in these sorts of things.
I have though a great deal recently about words. A Whisper knows that truth is no one thing to all people, and words are much the same. The difference between uncertainty and doubt. Between relief and release. What does it mean, liberation? How is it different from freedom? The suggestion of the personal, for one: 'liberty' having a distinctly singular note to it, whereas 'freedom' can be far more universal. But liberation is more active than freedom, too, and suggests a casting-off, a leaving behind. Decisiveness. And, possibly, a sort of cavalierness; an excess of freedom might lead to chaos, after all.
If you have heard old tales of magic, spell-casting, perhaps you too have wondered about the words, the intent behind them, required. I suppose that's part of why this mental exercise fascinates so. The other part, probably the larger, is, of course, that I am a hopelessly artistic soul by nature and cannot be stopped from indulging in these sorts of things.
Written By Cesare
Dec. 16, 2021, 7:44 p.m.(10/5/1016 AR)
Relationship Note on Gio
He says that to rhyme is a curse -
Yet he'll say it, at least twice, in verse.
If you didn't know it,
You'd think him a poet;
And truly, he might find that worse.
Yet he'll say it, at least twice, in verse.
If you didn't know it,
You'd think him a poet;
And truly, he might find that worse.
Written By Cesare
Dec. 5, 2021, 5:57 p.m.(9/11/1016 AR)
Sometimes I think it's the most human of instincts to long for a simpler time. I can remember moments when I was a child that feel singular; sitting at the edge of the docks, eating a piece of fried fish, golden and fresh from the ocean, straight from the cook-fire, just as it had come from the pan. My legs dangling off the side of the dock but too short to reach the water then, except perhaps the very tips of my toes, if I stretched. I would have been working all day, running messages between sailors, sorting fish, gutting, descaling. Whatever they would have me do in exchange for a meal. Since sunrise. Often before. And when I bit into that piece of fish, I was tired, and so hungry, that it tasted like the best thing I had ever eaten. Someone would doubtless offer me a mug of ale, or cider, and I would drink it, and watch the sun in her slow transit as she moved to kiss her lover and sink below the sea.
Perspective is everything: the sublime nature of that moment is such largely because of the depravity which surrounded it. If I had not been so hungry, I would not have been so grateful for such humble food. If I had not slept on the streets, I would not have been awake to greet the dawn. And so on, and so forth. But knowing this does not diminish the pleasure found in that simple moment of sensual joy. And even now, while I am surrounded more than I could possibly find it in myself to want, I am blessed that those who make me feel most myself are those who value me not for my station, for my connections, or even for my cleverness. It is a unique privilege to have a few in my life who remind me of those simple, sublime moments. Who evoke those same feelings in me: moments that stand out, disconnected from context, as perfect.
Perspective is everything: the sublime nature of that moment is such largely because of the depravity which surrounded it. If I had not been so hungry, I would not have been so grateful for such humble food. If I had not slept on the streets, I would not have been awake to greet the dawn. And so on, and so forth. But knowing this does not diminish the pleasure found in that simple moment of sensual joy. And even now, while I am surrounded more than I could possibly find it in myself to want, I am blessed that those who make me feel most myself are those who value me not for my station, for my connections, or even for my cleverness. It is a unique privilege to have a few in my life who remind me of those simple, sublime moments. Who evoke those same feelings in me: moments that stand out, disconnected from context, as perfect.
Written By Cesare
Nov. 24, 2021, 2:12 p.m.(8/16/1016 AR)
Relationship Note on Savio
In the latest of his many crimes against the Compact, taste, and society in general, Lord Savio Pontelaus Proscipi Amadeo, First of his Name, has assaulted my senses by sending me a poem in which he attempts to rhyme "Softest" with "got tits" (as in, I haven't any). This ignominious event deserves to be recorded, yes, for posterity, and for all time.
Written By Cesare
Nov. 18, 2021, 2:09 p.m.(8/4/1016 AR)
I enjoy the early morning hours. It's probably unsurprising that they are often the only time I find truly to myself, while most of the city still slumbers and the smoke of the breakfast fires is just beginning to rise above the rooftops. The sunlight in the post-dawn hour has a surreal quality; it is not quite like those afternoon golden hours, because it is finer, paler, more rosy-hued, but there is a similar feeling, a distance from all the cares that weigh us down in the bustle of our daily lives when all our troubles and concerns come to press and crowd in on us. Usually the early mornings are when I get my most productive work done on whatever song I am writing - for a given value of productive, anyway. Sometimes it's just writing down rhymes, many of them very stupid.
I am pleased to say that Seawatch Sanctuary has a new resident. Since Mssr. Vulpiano returned to Tor, it has been a bit lonely on the upper floors. Not the lower, certainly; summer is always bustling with gardeners and visitors to the garden who have sought Lady Medeia's advice on some herb which will ease an ailment or simply make an aromatic bouquet. But it is a rather large building and one rather feels like a ghost drifting about those empty rooms by oneself, visitors or no. Additionally, my new neighbor, Gio diFidante, has proven himself entirely charming company, and if he tries to protest, do not believe him. In my meddlesome way, I am doing what I can to make his adjustment to the city easier, as I remember what a shock this place can be rather keenly. Strange to think I've only really been here a year now. A year of upheaval and change, but a year nonetheless.
It seems I am to return to Bastion again. I am glad to assist, though I admit this period of knowing little about what may be done against certain threats chafes against my desire to be moving forward. Still, Archlector Roran did advise me once that one must not pursue change doggedly at all costs, and it is advice I have taken to heart, and will do my best to continue so. There are always moments for reflection even in these times of fraught and constant turmoil. To take a breath, to cherish the small moments of stillness and beauty - the way sunlight catches on eyelashes in the morning, turning them gold - those are the moments in which I am most wholly one with the world.
I am pleased to say that Seawatch Sanctuary has a new resident. Since Mssr. Vulpiano returned to Tor, it has been a bit lonely on the upper floors. Not the lower, certainly; summer is always bustling with gardeners and visitors to the garden who have sought Lady Medeia's advice on some herb which will ease an ailment or simply make an aromatic bouquet. But it is a rather large building and one rather feels like a ghost drifting about those empty rooms by oneself, visitors or no. Additionally, my new neighbor, Gio diFidante, has proven himself entirely charming company, and if he tries to protest, do not believe him. In my meddlesome way, I am doing what I can to make his adjustment to the city easier, as I remember what a shock this place can be rather keenly. Strange to think I've only really been here a year now. A year of upheaval and change, but a year nonetheless.
It seems I am to return to Bastion again. I am glad to assist, though I admit this period of knowing little about what may be done against certain threats chafes against my desire to be moving forward. Still, Archlector Roran did advise me once that one must not pursue change doggedly at all costs, and it is advice I have taken to heart, and will do my best to continue so. There are always moments for reflection even in these times of fraught and constant turmoil. To take a breath, to cherish the small moments of stillness and beauty - the way sunlight catches on eyelashes in the morning, turning them gold - those are the moments in which I am most wholly one with the world.
Written By Cesare
Nov. 11, 2021, 11:46 a.m.(7/18/1016 AR)
Some who have spoken to me at length will be aware that fear is not an emotion which comes to me easily. I'm uncertain why; it's hard to say if our nature is shaped by our souls, or by our experiences, or, as I suspect, by both. Regardless, it's a strange thing: in many circumstances it seems as though my mind has forgotten what it means to be trepidatious, and it's only in moments when the physical animal of my body reminds me that I am seized by it in a way which is inescapable and vital. All this to say, I was very afraid this week, for a few hours. And in those hours, I'm grateful that I knew where to turn: to those who care for me, and would remind me of the ideals I hold dear, which are those of hope, joy, perseverance, friendship.
I've found myself offering a strange counsel several times these past few days: to sit with the uncomfortable and unpleasant feelings. To accept them for what they are, and to know that they will pass, as all things do. It is a difficult time; the world feels fraught now in a way that brushes up against the minutiae of our lives, and each time it brushes, it is prone to scrape a little more off the comfort and complacence we've built up. Discomfort is naturally hard to tolerate.
I have been assured that the gods hear us when we speak to them. But rarely are they able to answer. And in the immediacy of the need for comfort, I think that what Gild's ideals would counsel is this: Seek those you care for. Show them your care, and let them care for you. We are none of us immune to frustration or despair, and it is a beautiful thing to show compassion. Often in my line of work, I am asked, "what can I do?" and - this is what you can do. Help to soothe the little hurts, to buoy the spirits of those around you. Hope is a discipline, one we all must work at.
I've found myself offering a strange counsel several times these past few days: to sit with the uncomfortable and unpleasant feelings. To accept them for what they are, and to know that they will pass, as all things do. It is a difficult time; the world feels fraught now in a way that brushes up against the minutiae of our lives, and each time it brushes, it is prone to scrape a little more off the comfort and complacence we've built up. Discomfort is naturally hard to tolerate.
I have been assured that the gods hear us when we speak to them. But rarely are they able to answer. And in the immediacy of the need for comfort, I think that what Gild's ideals would counsel is this: Seek those you care for. Show them your care, and let them care for you. We are none of us immune to frustration or despair, and it is a beautiful thing to show compassion. Often in my line of work, I am asked, "what can I do?" and - this is what you can do. Help to soothe the little hurts, to buoy the spirits of those around you. Hope is a discipline, one we all must work at.
Written By Cesare
Nov. 4, 2021, 11:53 a.m.(7/4/1016 AR)
It's been a few weeks since I've written here. I admit it was a combination of much to do and little desire to record my thoughts, but that is neither here nor there; here I am, to present my musings once again. I've had much less time than I consider ideal to work at my craft lately, and it is somewhat sad to see my instruments lying around unused. The act of playing them so much imbues them with something not unlike a personality - at least in my mind - and it's entirely too easy to picture them sulking or scowling. I think it is well past time that I re-dedicate myself to my particular service to Jayus, and to myself. I have been occupied primarily with the business of Whisper House, these past weeks, but I must not allow my faith to go unattended. I've been toying with the idea of crafting a few tapestries and selling them, in order to raise coin for the Discipleship. Songs being what they are, ephemeral by nature, they are not terribly sellable.
Spring has often been a season of discovery for me, and this year was no exception. It pleases me to see the city shake off its blankets and emerge from its winter torpor. I hope this summer will be a busy and productive one. Of one of those things, I am assured. The other remains to be seen.
Spring has often been a season of discovery for me, and this year was no exception. It pleases me to see the city shake off its blankets and emerge from its winter torpor. I hope this summer will be a busy and productive one. Of one of those things, I am assured. The other remains to be seen.
Written By Cesare
Oct. 18, 2021, 8:24 p.m.(5/27/1016 AR)
Relationship Note on Savio
I want it noted that I also believe in you when others don't, I just also believe in your natural inclination to act a fool. Alas, I have chosen you as a friend, and therefore no amount of foolishness will convince me otherwise.
I should have made this a poem, but I have not. Or at least not a poem which rhymes; I suppose it could be a blank verse poem. Ah, blank verse, an art form I know you despise.
I should have made this a poem, but I have not. Or at least not a poem which rhymes; I suppose it could be a blank verse poem. Ah, blank verse, an art form I know you despise.
Written By Cesare
Oct. 17, 2021, 10:43 a.m.(5/24/1016 AR)
I was delighted to see how well-attended the wedding of my dear friends Lords Savio and Orland Amadeo was yesterday. I've said several times recently that I am perfectly capable of seeing foible and folly even in those I hold dear - I must be, to be a competent and useful Whisper - but I truly believe that, despite the tumult surrounding its announcement, this match will bring stability and prosperity to Bravura. Listening to the well-considered responses given in response to Archlector Giada by the newlyweds as they stood solemnly before the altar, I was struck both by how very different they were, each of them, in that moment, from the men I met a year ago; and by how keenly they considered their duty to each other, to the Compact, and to the people who will call them liege.
Of course, not every citizen of Bravura was present to hear those vows. Certainly the citizens of Bravura do not know the trials that Lord Orland and Lord Savio have endured in their short lives. They could not know how much these two have sacrificed, struggled, and stood steadfast to stand before the Gods yesterday. But soon they will know how dedicated these lords are to each other and to improving the lives of their people. I sincerely believe that.
Perhaps this seems overly hopeful, in reading it back; but I cannot help it. I am, by nature, a hopeful person.
Of course, not every citizen of Bravura was present to hear those vows. Certainly the citizens of Bravura do not know the trials that Lord Orland and Lord Savio have endured in their short lives. They could not know how much these two have sacrificed, struggled, and stood steadfast to stand before the Gods yesterday. But soon they will know how dedicated these lords are to each other and to improving the lives of their people. I sincerely believe that.
Perhaps this seems overly hopeful, in reading it back; but I cannot help it. I am, by nature, a hopeful person.
Written By Cesare
Oct. 3, 2021, 8:50 p.m.(4/25/1016 AR)
Another week has passed. I don't know where it went - somewhere between all the meetings and events, I suppose, that's how it happens. And nor is there much here for me to write; as I suspect I've said many times before, the words which pass between myself and those I meet with are often strictly kept in confidence. Beside that, I think I ate an entire pie in about five minutes flat - some of the day's events have a strangely dreamlike quality to them which truly makes me question what I drank - and I don't think that lends itself to introspection or to writing. So you will simply have to accept this week's entry as lacking in substance and style both.
Written By Cesare
Sept. 25, 2021, 11:21 p.m.(4/9/1016 AR)
There's so much to write I'm not quite sure where to begin. I am so grateful to everyone who came to mine and Lady Medeia's shared nameday celebration. It was a delightful time, and I discovered that my dear friend Evaristo is a wonderful gift-giver. You should see the lovely enameled jewelry chest he gave me; it matches my bedroom just perfectly. We had a pair of uninvited guests, and a mysterious but very beautiful lady left with one of them, a brunette woman. If anyone knows who these two are - a tall blonde man and a brunette lady, rather vocally displeased with Prodigals and Eswynd in particular - do let me know. I should like to speak with them further.
I had the pleasure of attending also the wedding reception of the Archduchess and Archduke-Consort Velenosa. It was truly a magnificent party, entirely worthy of two individuals of such standing. The newly redecorated Lenosia Labyrinth is marvelous; the Archduchess looked stunning, and the Archduke looked like he was wearing entirely black and gray, as he usually does. Some of the most wonderful party favors I've ever seen, and a guest list to envy. I was very privileged to speak to the Queen and Prince Aindre and was delighted to learn that Prince Aindre is a fan of the performing arts. I hope to see them at an upcoming performance, which is only a little daunting. I think being the focus of Queen Symonesse's radiant smile is more daunting, although daunting in a way which at once impresses the necessity of not disappointing her while also making one feel that they have everything they need within them /not/ to disappoint her. I also found the strangest little bag on the ground, and I am still uncertain if I was meant to find it, or if someone lost it.
Every day that passes I awake hoping to news that those I care for have returned from Bastion safe. As for myself, through sheer luck, skill, the favor of the gods, or all three, no-one was injured in our party. I somehow managed to talk my way into and out of danger, and Brother Oswyn played my captive with a panache which leads me to believe perhaps I should recruit him for the stage. I am truly grateful for the protection of Lady Kiera, Lord Vitalis, Sir Audgrim, and Raja Culler. I would not have been nearly so confident had I not known they were at my back. Onward we march; together we may accomplish much.
I had the pleasure of attending also the wedding reception of the Archduchess and Archduke-Consort Velenosa. It was truly a magnificent party, entirely worthy of two individuals of such standing. The newly redecorated Lenosia Labyrinth is marvelous; the Archduchess looked stunning, and the Archduke looked like he was wearing entirely black and gray, as he usually does. Some of the most wonderful party favors I've ever seen, and a guest list to envy. I was very privileged to speak to the Queen and Prince Aindre and was delighted to learn that Prince Aindre is a fan of the performing arts. I hope to see them at an upcoming performance, which is only a little daunting. I think being the focus of Queen Symonesse's radiant smile is more daunting, although daunting in a way which at once impresses the necessity of not disappointing her while also making one feel that they have everything they need within them /not/ to disappoint her. I also found the strangest little bag on the ground, and I am still uncertain if I was meant to find it, or if someone lost it.
Every day that passes I awake hoping to news that those I care for have returned from Bastion safe. As for myself, through sheer luck, skill, the favor of the gods, or all three, no-one was injured in our party. I somehow managed to talk my way into and out of danger, and Brother Oswyn played my captive with a panache which leads me to believe perhaps I should recruit him for the stage. I am truly grateful for the protection of Lady Kiera, Lord Vitalis, Sir Audgrim, and Raja Culler. I would not have been nearly so confident had I not known they were at my back. Onward we march; together we may accomplish much.
Written By Cesare
Sept. 14, 2021, 10:25 p.m.(3/15/1016 AR)
On the occasion of my twenty-fifth birthday: It has been a momentous year. I know I said so in my last White Journal, but truly, I have grown so much. I think it's possible that more important than discovering what we desire and aspire to is learning what is intolerable to us. What we find an affront to our internal sense of right and wrong; what we cannot abide. It has always been in my nature to be somewhat conciliatory to the point of self-effacing, but as I grow into myself, I think I am learning when to stop giving pieces of myself away.
Have I changed? It's difficult to say. We see our own reflections far less clearly than others see us. Certainly my circumstances have changed. Through it all I am grateful to have had the love and support of the friends and new family I have begun to build around myself here in Arx. My patron, Lady Medeia, is a woman of strong beliefs and strong principles, which she uses not to wound but to mend - and I must also wish her a happy birthday, as it is an occasion we share. She gave me a sanctuary in both literal and figurative meaning, and in this next year I hope to do the same for more of you.
There are so many names I could list, ought to list here. And I am aware that at least one of you - Savio - will be shaking his head at my refusal to list them all. But you will all have to handle knowing that you would be here, if you should be. And I do hope to see you all at the party this weekend. There will be a lot of dancing, and wine. I have had the most delightful pair of pants made up for the occasion - they fit like a glove, truly - and you do not want to miss it if I manage to split a seam in my cavorting, I promise.
Have I changed? It's difficult to say. We see our own reflections far less clearly than others see us. Certainly my circumstances have changed. Through it all I am grateful to have had the love and support of the friends and new family I have begun to build around myself here in Arx. My patron, Lady Medeia, is a woman of strong beliefs and strong principles, which she uses not to wound but to mend - and I must also wish her a happy birthday, as it is an occasion we share. She gave me a sanctuary in both literal and figurative meaning, and in this next year I hope to do the same for more of you.
There are so many names I could list, ought to list here. And I am aware that at least one of you - Savio - will be shaking his head at my refusal to list them all. But you will all have to handle knowing that you would be here, if you should be. And I do hope to see you all at the party this weekend. There will be a lot of dancing, and wine. I have had the most delightful pair of pants made up for the occasion - they fit like a glove, truly - and you do not want to miss it if I manage to split a seam in my cavorting, I promise.
Written By Cesare
Sept. 8, 2021, 11:22 p.m.(3/3/1016 AR)
My deepest gratitude cannot be overstated for those who attended the Disciples of Jayus' Midwinter Celebration; particularly to the artists and artisans who donated, as well as Nightingale Gianna Delvecchio who performed the Freedom Song of the Lianhan in a truly breathtaking and moving rendition alongside my original composition. For those who witnessed the unfortunate incident with the harp: Yes, I am fine. The welt has faded entirely. I am very pleased to relay that we raised in excess of 500,000 silver for the Disciples, with the generosity of our donors, and that there is now more art gracing the homes of the Compact. I hope that Jayus was pleased. I hope that Inspiration was pleased. I see her face often, when I close my eyes.
I'm preparing to assist in diplomatic efforts to aid the survivors from Bastion. As Softest, I feel now a greater responsibility for the people of Arvum as a whole than I have ever before. It is not as though I've had some revelatory experience - on the contrary, if anything, it has come to me by the smallest and most delicate of steps. But when I spoke to Radiant Anisha upon my promotion, and when I have spoken to others before and since, what I said remains true: Whisper House has been a family to me, in many ways, and in other ways so is the entire Compact. It is a grave and glorious responsibility to be trusted with the hurts that the citizenry shares with no others, small and large, the secrets we keep safe in our locked hearts.
Lady Medeia and I continue to plan our party; the Conservatory is a delight, and anyone who does not come will truly be missing out on the experience of a lifetime. I am never much for birthday celebrations, but this year feels as though I have something - someone! - to celebrate. Myself. Gods, how I have grown. Yes, you may imagine me tossing my hair in the dim, gleaming light of the fire as I write that. Perhaps imagine me luxuriantly stretching a leg, too. What am I going to wear? This is a matter of dire importance.
Anyway, I am going to pray. If you all knew how often I pray - I am ridiculous.
I'm preparing to assist in diplomatic efforts to aid the survivors from Bastion. As Softest, I feel now a greater responsibility for the people of Arvum as a whole than I have ever before. It is not as though I've had some revelatory experience - on the contrary, if anything, it has come to me by the smallest and most delicate of steps. But when I spoke to Radiant Anisha upon my promotion, and when I have spoken to others before and since, what I said remains true: Whisper House has been a family to me, in many ways, and in other ways so is the entire Compact. It is a grave and glorious responsibility to be trusted with the hurts that the citizenry shares with no others, small and large, the secrets we keep safe in our locked hearts.
Lady Medeia and I continue to plan our party; the Conservatory is a delight, and anyone who does not come will truly be missing out on the experience of a lifetime. I am never much for birthday celebrations, but this year feels as though I have something - someone! - to celebrate. Myself. Gods, how I have grown. Yes, you may imagine me tossing my hair in the dim, gleaming light of the fire as I write that. Perhaps imagine me luxuriantly stretching a leg, too. What am I going to wear? This is a matter of dire importance.
Anyway, I am going to pray. If you all knew how often I pray - I am ridiculous.
Written By Cesare
Sept. 1, 2021, 8 p.m.(2/17/1016 AR)
Relationship Note on Artorius
I beg your pardon, Count. I would never be so bold as to imply anyone /must/ attend an event. I believe my own event was simply mentioned in passing, as much of my current work involves preparing for it. And you did ask us for advice on what to attend and whose company to seek out in order to catch up with news of the city! I seem to recall warning you about the pace of things here in Arx, and you replied to my warning with an insistence on languor. Now you know, my dear sir, a Whisper's advice is rarely anything but prudently placed.
(Should the vagaries of the written word prove too subtle, I am, of course, teasing.)
(Should the vagaries of the written word prove too subtle, I am, of course, teasing.)
Written By Cesare
Aug. 29, 2021, 8:23 p.m.(2/11/1016 AR)
It was a week which started somewhat in struggle but ended much better. I admit I've been hiding from the weather, and from other things. I didn't go to the Assembly this month; I probably should have, but I wasn't in the mood to watch the contentiousness, and I knew well that anything I needed to learn would find its way to me in short order. I've heard there is a new Archlector of Petrichor appointed, and though I am less familiar with Petrichor's domain than others, look forward to seeing what influence he has on the city. As to the rest of it, I suspect anyone who attended either recent session of the Salon probably knows my position and I will not belabor myself in repeating it here.
I met someone very interesting indeed during one of my (admittedly many) trips to the shrines. A refreshing new face. And an interesting conversation between himself, Duke Cristoph, and me. One of the things I enjoy most is getting a look at the true devotions of the people I interact with often on a more superficial level; possibly this is self-evident considering my work. Ah, well. It was a lovely interlude, that's what I mean. I also unexpectedly ran into a relatively new but increasingly more charming friend at Duchess Isabeau's birthday party as well, and had the opportunity to introduce her to my patron - speaking of which, Lady Medeia and I have discovered we have precisely the same birthday! Can you believe it?! Astonishing. We are now planning a party which will be the talk of the city for at least a year to come.
We travel to New Hope soon for pearl diving. I hear that the weather, and the water, are somewhat warmer there. I am tolerating the winter with great panache, I believe, but I long for the smell of the Southern Sea. At least a hint of it.
I met someone very interesting indeed during one of my (admittedly many) trips to the shrines. A refreshing new face. And an interesting conversation between himself, Duke Cristoph, and me. One of the things I enjoy most is getting a look at the true devotions of the people I interact with often on a more superficial level; possibly this is self-evident considering my work. Ah, well. It was a lovely interlude, that's what I mean. I also unexpectedly ran into a relatively new but increasingly more charming friend at Duchess Isabeau's birthday party as well, and had the opportunity to introduce her to my patron - speaking of which, Lady Medeia and I have discovered we have precisely the same birthday! Can you believe it?! Astonishing. We are now planning a party which will be the talk of the city for at least a year to come.
We travel to New Hope soon for pearl diving. I hear that the weather, and the water, are somewhat warmer there. I am tolerating the winter with great panache, I believe, but I long for the smell of the Southern Sea. At least a hint of it.
Written By Cesare
Aug. 21, 2021, 11:03 p.m.(1/23/1016 AR)
Another span of days passes; they all seem stranger than the last, I admit. Sometimes I wake and wonder what earth-shattering truth I may learn today, or which among those of you I hold dear I will come to find to have once again thrown themselves into some radically unwinnable combat. This is not to say I am not grateful for the eventfulness of my life. I would rather, much rather, be continually thrown off-guard than be bored.
It has been a time for learning difficult lessons. One rarely wishes to loosen one's fingers from something which feels good, or which brings with it a particular thrill that cannot be replicated, but all too often it is those precise vices which have equal propensity for feeling bad. And I have learnt this lesson before: the extent of what I can give is finite, and if it isn't enough, that is not a burden to be laid at my feet. There are simply some voids too big to be filled, I suppose, and all the good intent in the world cannot change that, nor should one wring oneself dry trying.
Yes, I know. I'm just achingly earnest. But some of us must be, don't you think? And anyway, I've got enough on my plate. Imagine if I tried to add a layer of guile on top of everything else, it'd all just stop making sense, or I'd have to start taking notes, and neither of those is appealing. You should see this painting Mistress Samira did for me, though, truly; to call it haunting would be to do it a disservice. I had to move it out of my bedroom because I kept dreaming about it, and I really look forward to explaining it to whoever comes by Seawatch Sanctuary next. I must see if I can commission Princess Denica to paint me an equally alluring companion portrait, perhaps. I'm entirely too spoiled, surrounded by talented people. And I saw my beloved Lady Medeia wearing green for the first time at the Blackram and Telmars' introduction to their gorgeous fabrics - my heart nearly stopped. Perhaps that's why she doesn't wear it more often; she doesn't want to be liable for anyone's death.
Note: I am still accepting submissions for the silent auction to benefit the Disciples of Jayus. Not a single person has sent me a weapon, a piece of jewelry, an item of clothing, or a written work so far! You could be the first. What will that earn you? Well, self-satisfaction, of course. Anything further will have to be individually negotiated.
It has been a time for learning difficult lessons. One rarely wishes to loosen one's fingers from something which feels good, or which brings with it a particular thrill that cannot be replicated, but all too often it is those precise vices which have equal propensity for feeling bad. And I have learnt this lesson before: the extent of what I can give is finite, and if it isn't enough, that is not a burden to be laid at my feet. There are simply some voids too big to be filled, I suppose, and all the good intent in the world cannot change that, nor should one wring oneself dry trying.
Yes, I know. I'm just achingly earnest. But some of us must be, don't you think? And anyway, I've got enough on my plate. Imagine if I tried to add a layer of guile on top of everything else, it'd all just stop making sense, or I'd have to start taking notes, and neither of those is appealing. You should see this painting Mistress Samira did for me, though, truly; to call it haunting would be to do it a disservice. I had to move it out of my bedroom because I kept dreaming about it, and I really look forward to explaining it to whoever comes by Seawatch Sanctuary next. I must see if I can commission Princess Denica to paint me an equally alluring companion portrait, perhaps. I'm entirely too spoiled, surrounded by talented people. And I saw my beloved Lady Medeia wearing green for the first time at the Blackram and Telmars' introduction to their gorgeous fabrics - my heart nearly stopped. Perhaps that's why she doesn't wear it more often; she doesn't want to be liable for anyone's death.
Note: I am still accepting submissions for the silent auction to benefit the Disciples of Jayus. Not a single person has sent me a weapon, a piece of jewelry, an item of clothing, or a written work so far! You could be the first. What will that earn you? Well, self-satisfaction, of course. Anything further will have to be individually negotiated.
Written By Cesare
Aug. 15, 2021, 11:03 p.m.(1/11/1016 AR)
I've been told by many individuals of southerly origin that I will doubtless come to find the winter interminable and oppressive. I concede it is entirely possible that this is true. So far, however, I am very much enjoying it. My suite is quite warm, and watching the snow fall to first limn the city and then blanket in white is, if you will allow me to be a bit saccharine, enchanting. I find particular pleasure in the mornings after heavy snowfall, before the sun has fully risen; the heavy clouds and the fresh snow all the same pale dove-grey, all the sounds slightly muffled, as if reality is just one step removed. And there's also something to the transience of those moments - knowing the snow will be trodden into, melted, the city will wake and fill with the sounds of carriages, horses, people bustling about. The transience sometimes makes those moments more precious.
Check back with me in a month or so, though. I may have changed my mind, and semi-permanently relocated to a subterranean hot spring.
Check back with me in a month or so, though. I may have changed my mind, and semi-permanently relocated to a subterranean hot spring.
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