Written By Becka
June 10, 2018, 8:01 p.m.(12/18/1008 AR)
I have my answer. She is gone.. and to think.. what was it all for? To go years without her, to forget about her.. and to then run into my Lady by chance.
I blame her.. no, not blame. Blame is a poor choice of words.. But I feel.. something towards her. If not for her I would have accepted my fate as it were and I would have ignored any rush to my head and heart, but no. Of all the ladies in Arx, I had to find her, the one tied to my past.
How could she not have told me when she knew? How could she keep it from me? She does not like to tell the whole truth, it seems.. She prefers to skip about.. but perhaps that is a positive. In some instances.. I believe she did not want to hurt me, but when.. the love of your life is dead, it's cruel to leave another thinking they are still alive and that there is hope that you may see them again some day.
I dread this trip to Fair Harbour now. I had hoped I would have found her there, at least.. in some way, but now.. I suppose I will only be able to go and say goodbye. Never tell her how I felt. I wish I had never stepped foot on that ship. I wish I had run away as planned and spent my days in the orchard. Hindsight is a terrible curse upon man. I wish I had kept my promise.. Did she hate me for it? How long did I leave her waiting? Now I will never know. I'm so sorry.
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