Written By Bahiya
April 29, 2023, 3:36 p.m.(9/19/1019 AR)
This day was a long time in coming and I have no words. I am filled with joy and yet there will be much to grieve and adjust to. I promised that both of us would do our best to move forward in joy and not linger over what was so normal for us. To love someone so much to feel pride in their freedoms and yet sadness with the changes to come ... it is a complicated place to be. I am just as certain that as time passes, I will only feel more pride and joy and what my dearest friend has grown to be.
Written By Bahiya
July 29, 2022, 10:39 p.m.(2/9/1018 AR)
I worry over my people, the ones from our ill-turned experiment. We do not rest, we do not sleep. The Arvani healers that are bent to finding a cure for this affliction are self-less and well-led, but I am relieved that Kenjay did not follow me. I have faith Miles and the others will find a way. They will.
They must.
They must.
Written By Bahiya
May 24, 2022, 1:01 p.m.(9/14/1017 AR)
Esteemed Crafter Vashtalyn has been my protege for some months now, and with her skilled hands she has created a garment that feels ornate, breath-taking, decadent but not too heavy. It is somewhat like home and yet not, a combination of the best of the Eurus and that of the Arvani. I am honored she has allowed me to be her Patron, and honored more that she has given me the the gifts of her skill.
I am told the outfit is a sight to behold, and with how Prince Kenjay stopped breathing for a moment, my greatest friend has given his unspoken agreement.
I am told the outfit is a sight to behold, and with how Prince Kenjay stopped breathing for a moment, my greatest friend has given his unspoken agreement.
Written By Bahiya
Jan. 16, 2022, 8:39 p.m.(12/11/1016 AR)
What an exhausting and satisfying thing, to host such an event with such wonderful co-hosts. The venue was perfection, Prince Patrizio of Pravus was wonderful, and the same, of course, goes for Prince Kenjay.
We have the first half of the finale fight, Lord Ian Kennex! It was quite exciting to learn he is Porter's brother, and they fought each other in the end because of course they did!
And such generous donations, it was such a splendid turnout.
We have the first half of the finale fight, Lord Ian Kennex! It was quite exciting to learn he is Porter's brother, and they fought each other in the end because of course they did!
And such generous donations, it was such a splendid turnout.
Written By Bahiya
Nov. 28, 2021, 4:37 p.m.(8/25/1016 AR)
It is not the large problems that take down empires; it is the many little ones that gnaw at the foundation. Usually, we can see the large problems long before they crash at our walls and our gates. The tiny troubles are what we ignore, until the poison has seeped too deeply to root out. I am praying that we always address the small problems before they kill us from within. There is too much at stake not to, I am coming to learn.
Written By Bahiya
Oct. 18, 2021, 10:39 a.m.(5/26/1016 AR)
I do my best to stay optimistic, and while my time here in Arx has been productive and rewarding, news from home forms my plans and the days coming. Even with the long delay, it's important to hear word of what is happening in my homeland or to regain contacts with people I have left behind, no matter how unpleasant. But I find the state of the messages distressing these past months. Why is it that no word comes? The delay has taught me patience but I am in that rare instance of being -impatient-; the silence worries me. Surely I would have heard something by now, and yet the dates on my reports have become old. What is happening?
Written By Bahiya
Sept. 12, 2021, 5:04 p.m.(3/11/1016 AR)
The struggles and burdens of the Arvani, noble and commoner, are sometimes quite perplexing to me. There is still so much to learn of so complicated a culture, but I do confess: in these complications there is compassion and grace, but duty can weigh as heavily as chains.
Written By Bahiya
Aug. 22, 2021, 3 p.m.(1/25/1016 AR)
The reports I receive from Bastion are harrowing. So many lives lost and yet, so many made it out. While the loss seems bleak, I offer all those who need coin or space with the loss of their homes and livelihoods what I can from the coffers of the Consulate.
Our good fortune here in the Compact should have its fruits shared beyond just our own, Eurusi merchants who have used their methods from our homeland to create items of similar type and quality. They have found a need here in the markets of the city and I am proud to note that my connections with the refugees have garnered even more successes. I am humbled by our mutual support and the wealth we share, but I would not see it lay unused in this crisis.
I must write to Gwenna.
Our good fortune here in the Compact should have its fruits shared beyond just our own, Eurusi merchants who have used their methods from our homeland to create items of similar type and quality. They have found a need here in the markets of the city and I am proud to note that my connections with the refugees have garnered even more successes. I am humbled by our mutual support and the wealth we share, but I would not see it lay unused in this crisis.
I must write to Gwenna.
Written By Bahiya
July 11, 2021, 8:29 p.m.(10/25/1015 AR)
I have written my family several times upon arriving here. My presence in Arvum is no secret. I do not know why their silence hurts me; I was not the kind of daughter that fit in. I was the cousin mocked for my strange ideas, the one my mother frowned at, shame in her eyes for those fleeting moments that she seemed to see me for what I truly was.
I was fortunate, however; I kept their focus and attention. They never looked at the man I sought to spin out of the broken vessel that was my new manservant. My only slave, forced upon me as a prank, a prank I reclaimed as a gift to spite my cousin, after a long day of ... sadness.
It saved us both but the act troubles me still. Thoughtless, my family, but it was not all their fault, born to a culture that looks at some as less than human, less than worthy. I will not recount those tales here; I would not see them preserved by me, those horrors live in my mind and the minds of so many, I will not add to it. There are better scholars to record such events in a clinical manner, and the monstrosities will be remembered through the ages by those that survived and those born of the survivors; they will not see the lesson forgotten, I can promise you that.
It is a tragedy, truly, that we cannot commit such things to time, for time to remember while we go on, and the horrors never repeated.
But I know better.
Still, I expected a letter of shame from my mother, words of stern rebuke from my father, mocking words from my many, many cousins. But there is nothing. No word.
Perhaps they know my part in the damage of their trade. Yes, that would earn me something true, something solid: disrupting their coin.
I woke hours ago, scholar, and I reached for Kenjay, weeping, and asked him, 'what world is this?'
None of us know. How could we?
I was fortunate, however; I kept their focus and attention. They never looked at the man I sought to spin out of the broken vessel that was my new manservant. My only slave, forced upon me as a prank, a prank I reclaimed as a gift to spite my cousin, after a long day of ... sadness.
It saved us both but the act troubles me still. Thoughtless, my family, but it was not all their fault, born to a culture that looks at some as less than human, less than worthy. I will not recount those tales here; I would not see them preserved by me, those horrors live in my mind and the minds of so many, I will not add to it. There are better scholars to record such events in a clinical manner, and the monstrosities will be remembered through the ages by those that survived and those born of the survivors; they will not see the lesson forgotten, I can promise you that.
It is a tragedy, truly, that we cannot commit such things to time, for time to remember while we go on, and the horrors never repeated.
But I know better.
Still, I expected a letter of shame from my mother, words of stern rebuke from my father, mocking words from my many, many cousins. But there is nothing. No word.
Perhaps they know my part in the damage of their trade. Yes, that would earn me something true, something solid: disrupting their coin.
I woke hours ago, scholar, and I reached for Kenjay, weeping, and asked him, 'what world is this?'
None of us know. How could we?
Written By Bahiya
June 27, 2021, 3:46 p.m.(9/25/1015 AR)
New goals for the future with battles behind us, new arrangements, new relationships. I dislike this ongoing lag between missives from my homeland, the longer we have been here the more expectant we have become. It is not abnormal to wait so long but I tire of it. Would that there was a way to know instantly what happens so far away, but alas; there is not. Establishing a more consistent, swifter form of communication is an old goal bolstered by new allies; I am thankful for Natalia Whisper and her efforts to work with myself and others on it.
No one is so rich as to turn down an ally, and Natalia Whisper is a force to reckon with. Even the king seems to respect her wisdom enough to listen to her, and there's nothing unremarkable about that. Then again, who wouldn't listen to her calm, lovely voice?
I have heard more of Eurusi defectors from the battle, that they scatter over the islands to the east and some arrive here in the city. Reaching out to these refugees has been a constant task and ever-rewarding; coming to strange shores is still fresh in my mind. The cooler climes, the snow, the people; for all the differences in culture and lifestyle, I cannot say I regret my choices. The hope and relief in the voices I hear speaking in my tongue only affirm that.
I am hopeful too, for the future to come; we have more obstacles to face but I am not alone.
Alright, Kenjay. We have work to do, my love.
No one is so rich as to turn down an ally, and Natalia Whisper is a force to reckon with. Even the king seems to respect her wisdom enough to listen to her, and there's nothing unremarkable about that. Then again, who wouldn't listen to her calm, lovely voice?
I have heard more of Eurusi defectors from the battle, that they scatter over the islands to the east and some arrive here in the city. Reaching out to these refugees has been a constant task and ever-rewarding; coming to strange shores is still fresh in my mind. The cooler climes, the snow, the people; for all the differences in culture and lifestyle, I cannot say I regret my choices. The hope and relief in the voices I hear speaking in my tongue only affirm that.
I am hopeful too, for the future to come; we have more obstacles to face but I am not alone.
Alright, Kenjay. We have work to do, my love.
Written By Bahiya
May 17, 2021, 8:06 p.m.(6/27/1015 AR)
Relationship Note on Natalia
To have the aid of so clever and honorable a Whisper, I am hopeful we can find a solution.
Written By Bahiya
May 15, 2021, 9:55 a.m.(6/22/1015 AR)
Relationship Note on Petraea
With the many reports that have come in, we have come to the conclusion that Arvani forces were a credit to their Compact and their peers. Many brilliant defenses, many astounding offenses; sacrifices were made on a grand scale, adaption to unexpected situations maneuvered with grace.
But the detail that has stood out to me time and time again, as one Ambassador from a nation foreign to these soils might see of another, it was Lady Petraea Livy and her collection of soldiers that have gone the most unremarked.
An ally who when called met the enemy of the Compact fearlessly, who lost people on the field and still fought on. Perhaps I am biased, perhaps I recognize only a small part of her greater gifts, but I felt the need to remark upon the bravery of the Cardian Ambassador Petraea Livy and the sacrifices she made. Though I do not know her, I suspect her efforts were understated, and that is a great shame.
But the detail that has stood out to me time and time again, as one Ambassador from a nation foreign to these soils might see of another, it was Lady Petraea Livy and her collection of soldiers that have gone the most unremarked.
An ally who when called met the enemy of the Compact fearlessly, who lost people on the field and still fought on. Perhaps I am biased, perhaps I recognize only a small part of her greater gifts, but I felt the need to remark upon the bravery of the Cardian Ambassador Petraea Livy and the sacrifices she made. Though I do not know her, I suspect her efforts were understated, and that is a great shame.
Written By Bahiya
April 8, 2021, 7:35 p.m.(4/5/1015 AR)
Coming to Arx brought many things.
Freedom, of course, but also time, space for growth and peace and purpose.
My heart is full. I am at peace and content in a way I have never been. What a blessing, this journey.
Freedom, of course, but also time, space for growth and peace and purpose.
My heart is full. I am at peace and content in a way I have never been. What a blessing, this journey.
Written By Bahiya
Dec. 31, 2020, 1:25 a.m.(9/1/1014 AR)
Preparations for Prince Damik'uhl'daja's wake are ongoing. I find myself depending on Princess Katarina for her knowledge of the Arvani and their customs, keeping an eye on what must be done to house and protect the Eurusi that have found themselves masterless in the wake of his passing. For a man that we owe so much to, he was rather oblivious to the gift he gave us. Coming to Arvum was an adventure, a romance, and I daresay despite how dangerous it all was we were quite taken with his excitement.
I must admit, though; my loss is what many would consider a professional one. I cannot speak for those who loved and knew him personally as beloved or friend; the relationship I maintained with him was as his diplomat. I served him well and he appreciated that service; I am only agrieved he could not see what would have become of our work in the end.
There are other struggles I have, too; we broke with so many traditions coming to these shores. The Prince himself observed as many out of habit as he did culturally; I do not know what to keep for his wake. I do not expect to bind him in chains within his casket, nor would I want to even if I was asked. My understanding now of our religious observances has changed much of my perception, and in this?
He would laugh at me to see how I struggle with his end, how best to see him off into the next world. It is not as we thought it would be, I think; a better one has been given us, maybe. A chance for redemption not just in this life, but perhaps in the next.
Ah, my Prince. Such a game life was to you, such an adventure! I wonder if you will ever understand where your sense of adventure took us, and truly, what a gift it all turned out to be.
I must admit, though; my loss is what many would consider a professional one. I cannot speak for those who loved and knew him personally as beloved or friend; the relationship I maintained with him was as his diplomat. I served him well and he appreciated that service; I am only agrieved he could not see what would have become of our work in the end.
There are other struggles I have, too; we broke with so many traditions coming to these shores. The Prince himself observed as many out of habit as he did culturally; I do not know what to keep for his wake. I do not expect to bind him in chains within his casket, nor would I want to even if I was asked. My understanding now of our religious observances has changed much of my perception, and in this?
He would laugh at me to see how I struggle with his end, how best to see him off into the next world. It is not as we thought it would be, I think; a better one has been given us, maybe. A chance for redemption not just in this life, but perhaps in the next.
Ah, my Prince. Such a game life was to you, such an adventure! I wonder if you will ever understand where your sense of adventure took us, and truly, what a gift it all turned out to be.
Written By Bahiya
Dec. 20, 2020, 7:51 p.m.(8/9/1014 AR)
Promises made shall be kept.
There is always time to grieve later, but our enemies will not wait for us to finish weeping.
I will mourn later; there is too much work to be done.
There is always time to grieve later, but our enemies will not wait for us to finish weeping.
I will mourn later; there is too much work to be done.
Written By Bahiya
Nov. 22, 2020, 9:18 p.m.(6/9/1014 AR)
Many plans to be made and still so much work to be done. I work to broaden the reach of our collective here in the city, to meet with people and garner opinions and read the populace; I say without self-pity that there are many who wish us gone and many that welcome us. Such is the state of a city at war. While it makes my job harder, it is still no less fulfilling.
Written By Bahiya
Oct. 7, 2020, 12:10 p.m.(2/28/1014 AR)
I have been fortunate in my friendship.
Since I understood how the world worked, I withdrew in a way my fever never compared to. I had lost my sight but I had lost my trust years before. Meeting Kenjay when I was thirty years of age filled me with hope but never for a friend. I put that dream away with my childish fantasies of marriage and a family of my own. The hope I felt with Kenjay was a chance to help, to make a difference, to -save- one person from the nightmare I'd silently witnessed my whole life.
Friendship came later and at such a price, a price we both paid. But in the end it was worth it. I came to the shores of Arvum expecting to lose the only thing that I held dear, but by grace and kindness and compassion I got to keep it. Every day of it is a gift. Every conversation, every embrace, every laugh was one more than I thought I would ever have. I am thankful.
I think perhaps now, these few months past, I may have gained a few more friends. It is strange to pull down that jar from the shelf, the one in my mind that houses all the dreams I put away. It is stranger still to enjoy an embrace without fearing the truth crashing in, the lie exposed, the jeopardy. It is humbling to know there are people that exist like fortresses to hide in, that will keep you safe in the tenderness that exists, the honesty that passes easily.
I know my time here is precious. I know there is danger now in the voices that call out in the streets. Where once there was welcome there is suspicion, and while I accept that many do not feel this way, I understand that I cannot take my safety here for granted. I am thankful thus far for the protection I have been given, and the friendships that are carefully blooming in the warmth of attention.
But I know it can all end. Every day here is a day I was not supposed to have, every laugh, every conversation, every touch. I am thankful, and if it ended tomorrow, I cannot think there is anything I would have done differently.
Since I understood how the world worked, I withdrew in a way my fever never compared to. I had lost my sight but I had lost my trust years before. Meeting Kenjay when I was thirty years of age filled me with hope but never for a friend. I put that dream away with my childish fantasies of marriage and a family of my own. The hope I felt with Kenjay was a chance to help, to make a difference, to -save- one person from the nightmare I'd silently witnessed my whole life.
Friendship came later and at such a price, a price we both paid. But in the end it was worth it. I came to the shores of Arvum expecting to lose the only thing that I held dear, but by grace and kindness and compassion I got to keep it. Every day of it is a gift. Every conversation, every embrace, every laugh was one more than I thought I would ever have. I am thankful.
I think perhaps now, these few months past, I may have gained a few more friends. It is strange to pull down that jar from the shelf, the one in my mind that houses all the dreams I put away. It is stranger still to enjoy an embrace without fearing the truth crashing in, the lie exposed, the jeopardy. It is humbling to know there are people that exist like fortresses to hide in, that will keep you safe in the tenderness that exists, the honesty that passes easily.
I know my time here is precious. I know there is danger now in the voices that call out in the streets. Where once there was welcome there is suspicion, and while I accept that many do not feel this way, I understand that I cannot take my safety here for granted. I am thankful thus far for the protection I have been given, and the friendships that are carefully blooming in the warmth of attention.
But I know it can all end. Every day here is a day I was not supposed to have, every laugh, every conversation, every touch. I am thankful, and if it ended tomorrow, I cannot think there is anything I would have done differently.
Written By Bahiya
Oct. 3, 2020, 10:38 p.m.(2/20/1014 AR)
I am thankful my cane was not heavier, nor sharper; that groundskeeper would like have lost an eye.
While I have no sight, scholar, my hearing is quite good. However, even I cannot hope to throw my cane as one might a spear, and expect it to strike true. I am only thankful no one was injured ... permanently.
Oh dear. Kenjay will laugh at me when he hears. I shall never hear the end of it.
While I have no sight, scholar, my hearing is quite good. However, even I cannot hope to throw my cane as one might a spear, and expect it to strike true. I am only thankful no one was injured ... permanently.
Oh dear. Kenjay will laugh at me when he hears. I shall never hear the end of it.
Written By Bahiya
Sept. 29, 2020, 8:56 a.m.(2/11/1014 AR)
No.
I am not leaving.
I am not leaving.
Written By Bahiya
Sept. 9, 2020, 1:28 p.m.(12/28/1013 AR)
I am fascinated by the organization Kenjay has aligned himself with, those that call themselves 'The Liberators'. If their ideals are as Kenjay insists and what their First Liberator, Aleksei Morgan, claims, I am eager to aid them and participate as best as I am able.
These many weeks since I have had my deepest fears confirmed, it is distressing to have this knowledge weigh on my mind; so much we have shared amongst our people, false knowledge bred by the need to control.
Perhaps that is the truth of it:
We are all slaves, in Eurus.
These many weeks since I have had my deepest fears confirmed, it is distressing to have this knowledge weigh on my mind; so much we have shared amongst our people, false knowledge bred by the need to control.
Perhaps that is the truth of it:
We are all slaves, in Eurus.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.