Written By Regla
June 20, 2017, 8:34 p.m.(9/9/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Quirin
Dear Father,
I guess there are a million things that got said between us, and a million more that never got said. I'm sorry for all the things that went unsaid, and some of the ones that were said. I still feel that the right choice was made, and that you were wrong. But despite our differences, I'll always love you.
Love,
Regi
I guess there are a million things that got said between us, and a million more that never got said. I'm sorry for all the things that went unsaid, and some of the ones that were said. I still feel that the right choice was made, and that you were wrong. But despite our differences, I'll always love you.
Love,
Regi
Written By Turo
June 20, 2017, 2:42 p.m.(9/9/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Quirin
I take my patience from you and my world view from my mother. I had never agreed upon everything you did, but I know why you did it. And it was that understanding that allowed me to understand who you were as a man. Whatever else I might've thought, our politics, our views on many things, as much as they might've differed, I always respected what you thought and why you thought it. I only hoped that you had thought the same of me.
You never quite the same after Valors died. It wasn't hard to tell that you had poured everything that you were into him. It wasn't that I felt like you loved Estil, myself, or Regla any less than him, I simply felt that you knew that if Navegant was going to survive, be more than what it already was, you needed a protege. Just as pleased as you were with Valors, I knew that you were proud of me when I became Admiral of the Fleet. It was never a competition, at least, I never felt that way. It was if you had known exactly what would happen when it did. As if you had some kind of foresight the rest of lacked. I don't know whether Mangata had given you a gift, a curse, or it was something you had gained from a lifetime of experience. Experience that I could sorely use right now.
I wish I had known. When I came to Arx, I had simply thought that everything you hadn't done, or didn't wish to do, was done more out of laziness or inactivity. Which jarred me, knowing that was not the man that I knew when you had left Escuma. I could not see you, or perhaps you didn't wish for me to see you as you were. I had hoped, prayed even, that you talk to me at least once when I had arrived. All I received in return was silence. I won't deny that I was angry at you for it, that I believed you had brought me here solely to marry me to some one that would bring a good alliance to Navegant. That I was little more than breeding stock or an item to be paraded about like a prize cow. I was angry at you for that, but maybe, now that you're gone that wasn't the case.
That you had brought me here because you knew the end was coming, that someone had to be here. That with Valors gone, the task fell to me, and you knew it wasn't a task that I had ever wanted or sought out. I was never trained for it, never prepared. I can arrange the fleet, I can I steer a ship with the best of them, I can fight tooth and nail with every fiber of my being for this house and this family. But running it? I doubt myself more than I care to admit. So I wish, when you brought me here, you had told me. Told me you were ill. Told me something, anything. But there was only silence. Perhaps that was your way, you let your children sink or swim, because those would be the strongest memories they would remember. Or maybe you simply had no desire for your children to see you in such a state. You should know that your children would not care, even if you did. Your children will always love you, despite the ass you had a tendency of being.
So, father, I will do what I can, as I have no other alternative in the matter. I will lead Navegant, eventually I will marry once I find a woman that's willing to put with me. But I won't let this house fall to the wayside. You wanted greater things for us, because what father doesn't want to leave the place better than what he had left it. This is not the end of Navegant. Navegant may change, but that may be in part of my thinking and partially by the times and events we currently live in. I know I may never do as good a job as you, or that you might never approve of the decisions that I make, but I can only hope that you'll understand why I did them and for the reasons that I believe were right ones.
And in the end, thank you. For perhaps not being the father I ever wanted, but for being the one that I needed. I am not you, nor am I Valors, and the shoes of both of you seem so much larger today than they were yesterday. All I can hope for is that Mangata accepts you into her embrace and that one day, you'll ask me how I did. I hope I can reply positively.
Until then, I love you, father. I will miss you. More than you will know. And I'm sorry for thinking so ill of you when I did. This family does not need to grow any smaller.
Forever your son,
Turo
You never quite the same after Valors died. It wasn't hard to tell that you had poured everything that you were into him. It wasn't that I felt like you loved Estil, myself, or Regla any less than him, I simply felt that you knew that if Navegant was going to survive, be more than what it already was, you needed a protege. Just as pleased as you were with Valors, I knew that you were proud of me when I became Admiral of the Fleet. It was never a competition, at least, I never felt that way. It was if you had known exactly what would happen when it did. As if you had some kind of foresight the rest of lacked. I don't know whether Mangata had given you a gift, a curse, or it was something you had gained from a lifetime of experience. Experience that I could sorely use right now.
I wish I had known. When I came to Arx, I had simply thought that everything you hadn't done, or didn't wish to do, was done more out of laziness or inactivity. Which jarred me, knowing that was not the man that I knew when you had left Escuma. I could not see you, or perhaps you didn't wish for me to see you as you were. I had hoped, prayed even, that you talk to me at least once when I had arrived. All I received in return was silence. I won't deny that I was angry at you for it, that I believed you had brought me here solely to marry me to some one that would bring a good alliance to Navegant. That I was little more than breeding stock or an item to be paraded about like a prize cow. I was angry at you for that, but maybe, now that you're gone that wasn't the case.
That you had brought me here because you knew the end was coming, that someone had to be here. That with Valors gone, the task fell to me, and you knew it wasn't a task that I had ever wanted or sought out. I was never trained for it, never prepared. I can arrange the fleet, I can I steer a ship with the best of them, I can fight tooth and nail with every fiber of my being for this house and this family. But running it? I doubt myself more than I care to admit. So I wish, when you brought me here, you had told me. Told me you were ill. Told me something, anything. But there was only silence. Perhaps that was your way, you let your children sink or swim, because those would be the strongest memories they would remember. Or maybe you simply had no desire for your children to see you in such a state. You should know that your children would not care, even if you did. Your children will always love you, despite the ass you had a tendency of being.
So, father, I will do what I can, as I have no other alternative in the matter. I will lead Navegant, eventually I will marry once I find a woman that's willing to put with me. But I won't let this house fall to the wayside. You wanted greater things for us, because what father doesn't want to leave the place better than what he had left it. This is not the end of Navegant. Navegant may change, but that may be in part of my thinking and partially by the times and events we currently live in. I know I may never do as good a job as you, or that you might never approve of the decisions that I make, but I can only hope that you'll understand why I did them and for the reasons that I believe were right ones.
And in the end, thank you. For perhaps not being the father I ever wanted, but for being the one that I needed. I am not you, nor am I Valors, and the shoes of both of you seem so much larger today than they were yesterday. All I can hope for is that Mangata accepts you into her embrace and that one day, you'll ask me how I did. I hope I can reply positively.
Until then, I love you, father. I will miss you. More than you will know. And I'm sorry for thinking so ill of you when I did. This family does not need to grow any smaller.
Forever your son,
Turo
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