Written By Tanith
May 25, 2020, 2:48 a.m.(5/9/1013 AR)
When our Queen gives you a gift, it's not something you can refuse. That being said, I would never refuse something so wonderful as a puppy, but I do wonder if it's proper to give a gift in return? A thank-you letter can't suffice. Can it?
Maybe I should bake her a cake. Or ... Hmm. Alcohol, maybe? Does the Queen drink? I should ask her.
...can I do that?
Maybe I should bake her a cake. Or ... Hmm. Alcohol, maybe? Does the Queen drink? I should ask her.
...can I do that?
Written By Tanith
May 25, 2020, 2:44 a.m.(5/9/1013 AR)
Spent my evening in the wee hours having tea with Rukhnis. Father would like her; she knows the measure and value of a word, what it means to say or not say a thing, what it can encourage or destroy. Purposeful. That's what she is. We drank my sister's tea and spoke of memory, of my new old house, of love. She isn't just wise, this woman; she's that rare, most precious type of person. She is -thoughtful-.
I ought to introduce her to Emara.
I ought to introduce her to Emara.
Written By Tanith
May 24, 2020, 2:34 a.m.(5/7/1013 AR)
... I think I've caught the puppy herding spiders across my kitchen floor.
I'm not certain. He is a very -large- puppy and he's a bit calmer than what they're purported to be (I expected more bounding and mess but really, he's a lot better than the drunks I deal with), but there was a spider on the kitchen floor that he was carefully ... following. And sniffing at. But the moment he saw me, it was tails wagging and tongues out and I lost track of the little eight-legged friend. After making sure my furry companion didn't eat him, I concluded the spider got away. The puppy wouldn't tell me if it was an official escort across the house, but then I don't speak dog. That or he's mastered the Grayhope sense of composure.
I'm not certain. He is a very -large- puppy and he's a bit calmer than what they're purported to be (I expected more bounding and mess but really, he's a lot better than the drunks I deal with), but there was a spider on the kitchen floor that he was carefully ... following. And sniffing at. But the moment he saw me, it was tails wagging and tongues out and I lost track of the little eight-legged friend. After making sure my furry companion didn't eat him, I concluded the spider got away. The puppy wouldn't tell me if it was an official escort across the house, but then I don't speak dog. That or he's mastered the Grayhope sense of composure.
Written By Tanith
May 22, 2020, 11:38 p.m.(5/5/1013 AR)
Oh. Oh I have a puppy. He's beautiful, and white and gorgeous and so sweet-
Well. One of them might be very excited by this. The other-
Well. One of them might be very excited by this. The other-
Written By Tanith
May 21, 2020, 10:29 p.m.(5/2/1013 AR)
When you start speaking in rhyme, you'll do it a long time. I wonder, is it a gift from the Queen? Even with all I've seen?
Written By Tanith
May 21, 2020, 3:33 p.m.(5/2/1013 AR)
Someone talks about how they 'grow this' or 'grew that' or 'my azaleas are finally coming in' and 'the herbs have broken through', and it still has me wonder what these people possess to create such miracles. Even Emara, tart that she is, that she can bring forth life with a well placed seed and some water and sunshine (and I know it's more complicated than that, she insists it isn't but I know she's lying to me) will never stop being wondrous. Talking about her garden like it isn't a miracle, chatting away while she carefully encourages all these little living things to grow. I really won't stop being amazed by it.
Written By Tanith
May 21, 2020, 2:56 p.m.(5/2/1013 AR)
It was my birthday. I meant to write something that day, but I was tied up.
I can't say I've had a better one, surrounded by people that probably love me more than I deserve, barely any room to breathe with it all. Emotional too, the best kinds of gifts are the kind you can't hold. Unless hands count.
Experiencing a type of devotion that leaks everywhere. Can't be helped though; things needed to be made clear, and they were, deeply.
No. I can't say I've had a better birthday.
I can't say I've had a better one, surrounded by people that probably love me more than I deserve, barely any room to breathe with it all. Emotional too, the best kinds of gifts are the kind you can't hold. Unless hands count.
Experiencing a type of devotion that leaks everywhere. Can't be helped though; things needed to be made clear, and they were, deeply.
No. I can't say I've had a better birthday.
Written By Tanith
May 18, 2020, 6:12 p.m.(4/24/1013 AR)
It's gotten to the point I knead dough in the bakery and my assistants giggle.
Honestly. There's better metaphors. I know there are.
Honestly. There's better metaphors. I know there are.
Written By Tanith
May 18, 2020, 1:50 a.m.(4/23/1013 AR)
I try very hard to never write with an audience I will face in my day to day in the framing of my words. I suspect it's something I learned from my father, or my mother; they're both in the habit of writing their mind and their day to day in their Whites without reading the entries of them they know but sparingly. My mother says they are more apt to use their Blacks for most of their thoughts; it's just easier, she says, and leaving them opened upon their deaths serves the purpose they mean to. I'm not as disciplined as they are but I try. These journals serve as a window into the past for future generations. There is a duty to preserving a perspective, and while many argue the different ways to do so, I am the most satisfied in doing it in the tradition of my parents. I know I've the freedom to choose. This is my way.
Written By Tanith
May 17, 2020, 6:53 p.m.(4/22/1013 AR)
There aren't many folks in the world that can trust as many people as I'm able to; split between both hands with a few fingers left over, I'm lucky. Blessed, even. Got people I can count on to take care of mine if I need it, or take care of business if I can't. That kind of thing is worth more than anything you can hold in your hands, scholar.
Shit has hit the rafters a few times in the last fortnight, and before that the rise was threatened but didn't crest over until recently. Testing the mettle of friendships, nothing I've forged between me and others has been found wanting. It's not a thrill or smug recap; it's a relief, sacred and profound and I'm just so damn grateful for it all. If the world ends tomorrow, I've got hands that will hold me through it, but more besides to fight next to to keep it moving into the next sunrise. No small thing, that. Not a small thing at all.
Shit has hit the rafters a few times in the last fortnight, and before that the rise was threatened but didn't crest over until recently. Testing the mettle of friendships, nothing I've forged between me and others has been found wanting. It's not a thrill or smug recap; it's a relief, sacred and profound and I'm just so damn grateful for it all. If the world ends tomorrow, I've got hands that will hold me through it, but more besides to fight next to to keep it moving into the next sunrise. No small thing, that. Not a small thing at all.
Written By Tanith
May 16, 2020, 1:59 a.m.(4/19/1013 AR)
I heard someone talk about Queen Symonesse having her own pet cow. I have to think this is a new trend, a mark of good taste; she liked my book, afterall. So maybe everyone with discerning tastes in these kinds of things should also consider getting a pet cow?
Speaking of books, since opening the Salacious Baker in the commons courts, I've sold several of my collector's editions. My father doesn't understand what the big deal is about bread, and my mother bursts out laughing whenever she starts kneading dough. Emara continues to be scandalized, and I daresay that's my favorite thing about all this. It's the way she mutters at me, like she's horrified, says it's absolutely filthy, how dare I, etc., but then I catch it; my smile on -her- face, the one that starts in the corner and grows before you can stop it. I am very familiar with this smile. It's my worst tell.
I see you, Emara. I know you want the new book when it comes out. Just you wait. It'll be -amazing-.
Speaking of books, since opening the Salacious Baker in the commons courts, I've sold several of my collector's editions. My father doesn't understand what the big deal is about bread, and my mother bursts out laughing whenever she starts kneading dough. Emara continues to be scandalized, and I daresay that's my favorite thing about all this. It's the way she mutters at me, like she's horrified, says it's absolutely filthy, how dare I, etc., but then I catch it; my smile on -her- face, the one that starts in the corner and grows before you can stop it. I am very familiar with this smile. It's my worst tell.
I see you, Emara. I know you want the new book when it comes out. Just you wait. It'll be -amazing-.
Written By Tanith
May 14, 2020, 8:47 p.m.(4/16/1013 AR)
I am so very tired.
Written By Tanith
May 13, 2020, 10:34 p.m.(4/15/1013 AR)
Spring at the Murder. About the same as winter at the Murder, except less firewood during the day, and more snogging in the booths, and I tend to find more kittens in the drafty cellar.
Written By Tanith
May 12, 2020, 1:24 p.m.(4/12/1013 AR)
Sometimes I have to throw people out of the bar. Sometimes it's a bit like babysitting, making sure no one steals from anyone else, no one drinks the wrong tankard, eats the wrong thing, pukes in the wrong place. Sometimes I have to throw things to get people to STOP DOING THAT, or PLEASE GET OUT.
Today I threw an empty cup at a man dancing on a table near the hearth. Caught him right in the crotch, scholar. He was pants-less and drunk, but not even he deserved that. I write this here as a confess of regret. Maybe he will see it and know he shouldn't bloody do that kind of nonsense without pants.
What? No, of -course- his pants wouldn't have caught fire, scholar. Who's side are you on?
Today I threw an empty cup at a man dancing on a table near the hearth. Caught him right in the crotch, scholar. He was pants-less and drunk, but not even he deserved that. I write this here as a confess of regret. Maybe he will see it and know he shouldn't bloody do that kind of nonsense without pants.
What? No, of -course- his pants wouldn't have caught fire, scholar. Who's side are you on?
Written By Tanith
May 11, 2020, 8:49 a.m.(4/9/1013 AR)
My helpers at the bakery have very mixed feelings towards my husband.
Written By Tanith
May 5, 2020, 9:54 a.m.(3/25/1013 AR)
An unexpected blessing in the guise of uncertain smiles, the freshness of budding crocus in the snow. I can't tell you, scholar, how strange it is, how precious and delightful and incredibly breathtaking. Raymesin has grumbled about my way with words, but I can't help it; I am moved sometimes and my little drawings aren't enough to convey it all. Words escape me too, I know what I feel about the people in my life... the words don't always convey what I want them too.
But. It is. Precious and new and shared. Some of the uncertainty is mine; I'm not sure where to go with it, so I'm clinging like a raft on a river, hoping the falls are just exciting and the journey enlightening. Who knows where this takes us? Maybe the Queen does. She seems to have a hand in everything I do these days.
But. It is. Precious and new and shared. Some of the uncertainty is mine; I'm not sure where to go with it, so I'm clinging like a raft on a river, hoping the falls are just exciting and the journey enlightening. Who knows where this takes us? Maybe the Queen does. She seems to have a hand in everything I do these days.
Written By Tanith
May 3, 2020, 5:37 p.m.(3/22/1013 AR)
I was chased by a goose as a child. I really fucking hate them. It. That. -Hate- them. Having one drop off mail with a -HONK- and a wag of that stupid tail-
Written By Tanith
May 1, 2020, 11:33 p.m.(3/19/1013 AR)
Relationship Note on Sydney
There aren't many people that can render me speechless on a busy night in the Murder.
Really. The list is very short.
Really. The list is very short.
Written By Tanith
May 1, 2020, 10:44 p.m.(3/19/1013 AR)
Who eats fish before drinking an entire bottle of whiskey? Honestly. Why?
Written By Tanith
May 1, 2020, 10:43 p.m.(3/19/1013 AR)
I will never quit my job.
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