Written By Sydney
Dec. 19, 2020, 12:09 a.m.(8/5/1014 AR)
Relationship Note on Anisha
The more time I spend in her presence, the more worthy of praise she seems to me.
That one woman can juggle so many things at once is something I can scarcely fathom. I struggle to keep sober and keep in fighting shape, and that's only two things, one of which I'm not succeeding exceedingly well at - the amount of juggling that Anisha Whisper manages is exceptional by contrast. Always perfectly put-together, poised, composed, empathetic, and all the things I fancied for myself when I was young and had lofty fantasies about being 'proper'.
Always a pleasure to spend time with her, when circumstance allows it.
That one woman can juggle so many things at once is something I can scarcely fathom. I struggle to keep sober and keep in fighting shape, and that's only two things, one of which I'm not succeeding exceedingly well at - the amount of juggling that Anisha Whisper manages is exceptional by contrast. Always perfectly put-together, poised, composed, empathetic, and all the things I fancied for myself when I was young and had lofty fantasies about being 'proper'.
Always a pleasure to spend time with her, when circumstance allows it.
Written By Sydney
Dec. 14, 2020, 10:03 a.m.(7/24/1014 AR)
I've seen my fair share of sayings about combat now in these whites, so I'll posit here my own philosophies in brief.
1. Protect yourself.
2. There will be times when there is a choice between protecting yourself, and protecting someone who is unable, and that is when the coin is flipped, the die thrown, but always remember that Death guarantees us nothing. When your ride of the wheel ends, even if it's your first trip, it may always be your last.
3. Valor doesn't assure miracles.
4. Armor doesn't buy invulnerability.
5. Brave words do not imbue courage without fail.
6. Killing is painful, but dying is harder.
7. Remember every success, locking in the times you've done well - that your blow connected just in time, that you managed to save a friend.
8. Be ready, for your mind will cling to every failure if given half the chance. Guard well against it.
9. No Thing is forever. Cling too tightly to something, and the pain when you lose it will only be harder.
10. For every hero who summoned forth all of their strength and did what needed to be done, there are countless scores exactly like them who weren't favored by luck. Do not leave your fate to luck.
11. Trust in tactics, but be ready to pivot. Plans are a framework, not absolute. This works best if you're not under strict orders, I suppose, so it may apply more to mercenaries, sellswords, and openpalms.
12. Always have a backup weapon - even I carry a blade should the situation call for it.
13. Protect yourself.
1. Protect yourself.
2. There will be times when there is a choice between protecting yourself, and protecting someone who is unable, and that is when the coin is flipped, the die thrown, but always remember that Death guarantees us nothing. When your ride of the wheel ends, even if it's your first trip, it may always be your last.
3. Valor doesn't assure miracles.
4. Armor doesn't buy invulnerability.
5. Brave words do not imbue courage without fail.
6. Killing is painful, but dying is harder.
7. Remember every success, locking in the times you've done well - that your blow connected just in time, that you managed to save a friend.
8. Be ready, for your mind will cling to every failure if given half the chance. Guard well against it.
9. No Thing is forever. Cling too tightly to something, and the pain when you lose it will only be harder.
10. For every hero who summoned forth all of their strength and did what needed to be done, there are countless scores exactly like them who weren't favored by luck. Do not leave your fate to luck.
11. Trust in tactics, but be ready to pivot. Plans are a framework, not absolute. This works best if you're not under strict orders, I suppose, so it may apply more to mercenaries, sellswords, and openpalms.
12. Always have a backup weapon - even I carry a blade should the situation call for it.
13. Protect yourself.
Written By Sydney
Dec. 13, 2020, 4:52 p.m.(7/22/1014 AR)
Relationship Note on Porter
As a mediocre smith myself in years gone by, I can safely say that the Compact always has need of nails and cookware.
Written By Sydney
Dec. 12, 2020, 7:22 p.m.(7/21/1014 AR)
I can tell when something is amiss when not even the feel of bared knuckles on bared skin rouses my interest.
This is not prideful boasting, or a proclamation that I've achieved some sort of mastery of the spar - far from it.
It's as though the very ground beneath us is burgeoning, the moment before rupture, and I am unable to take my concentration away from it for fear that I might miss the moment it splits into a yawning chasm. Too much time to my own devices.
I need a drink, a tumble, or a fucking nap.
This is not prideful boasting, or a proclamation that I've achieved some sort of mastery of the spar - far from it.
It's as though the very ground beneath us is burgeoning, the moment before rupture, and I am unable to take my concentration away from it for fear that I might miss the moment it splits into a yawning chasm. Too much time to my own devices.
I need a drink, a tumble, or a fucking nap.
Written By Sydney
Nov. 21, 2020, 10:26 p.m.(6/7/1014 AR)
Pushed myself too hard, today, and shall surely reap the consequences.
The harder you try to force yourself past your limits, the more likely you are to hurt yourself in the process. I have a tendency to get single-minded when I can feel myself getting close to my ideals. The horizon falls away, and all I can see is directly in front of myself, often to the detriment of those around me. It can be an asset as often as it's a detriment.
Tonight, there was no one about but me, so myself and my split knuckles will be forced to take a break, which is nothing if not a setback.
So it goes.
The harder you try to force yourself past your limits, the more likely you are to hurt yourself in the process. I have a tendency to get single-minded when I can feel myself getting close to my ideals. The horizon falls away, and all I can see is directly in front of myself, often to the detriment of those around me. It can be an asset as often as it's a detriment.
Tonight, there was no one about but me, so myself and my split knuckles will be forced to take a break, which is nothing if not a setback.
So it goes.
Written By Sydney
Nov. 21, 2020, 4 p.m.(6/6/1014 AR)
It's hardly a secret, I should think, that with the profession I've chosen and the duration of time that I was made to perform it to scrape by, that my memory has holes in it. Awful, awful holes through which even the simplest knowledge seems to skitter down into if given enough time. The amount of times I have reintroduced myself to people as though it's the first time we've met is nothing short of appalling.
But don't make the mistake of conflating occasional confusion with a lack of mental acuity.
I am not your fool, and I am not your pawn.
But don't make the mistake of conflating occasional confusion with a lack of mental acuity.
I am not your fool, and I am not your pawn.
Written By Sydney
Nov. 20, 2020, 11:08 p.m.(6/5/1014 AR)
I remember when being declared Apostate was a rare thing. Now it seems we have them by the bushel.
Would that it were always laughed off so easily.
Would that it were always laughed off so easily.
Written By Sydney
Nov. 15, 2020, 5:52 a.m.(5/21/1014 AR)
Do not underestimate the effect that a night of revelry can have on your spirits, especially in these trying times. It's tempting to furrow one's brow, and be nothing but dour, dour, dour.
Lest I'm accused of putting the cart before the horse, I know loss, and I know what blood on my hands feels like just as well. I'd be a sharding liar of the highest order if I claimed that either of these things don't dampen the mood and darken the spirits, but the moment that you allow yourself to turn opaque, you may not be letting darkness in, but you'll also let no light through.
Let yourself feel what you're feeling. Feel it with a trusted friend if it's of the utmost secrecy, but also allow yourself to speak it to absolute strangers if it's not.
People will surprise you with their capacity for empathy - even those that you might not suspect.
So grab a pint, a glass, a shot, a half-dozen shots, or whatever your poison of choice may be, and allow yourself to let go of some of that weight, or you can rest assured, you will hold it. And there's nothing more miserable than carrying that weight alone. So says Sydney Waterfall, channeling her inner Whisper from prolonged exposure to their finest ranks.
Lest I'm accused of putting the cart before the horse, I know loss, and I know what blood on my hands feels like just as well. I'd be a sharding liar of the highest order if I claimed that either of these things don't dampen the mood and darken the spirits, but the moment that you allow yourself to turn opaque, you may not be letting darkness in, but you'll also let no light through.
Let yourself feel what you're feeling. Feel it with a trusted friend if it's of the utmost secrecy, but also allow yourself to speak it to absolute strangers if it's not.
People will surprise you with their capacity for empathy - even those that you might not suspect.
So grab a pint, a glass, a shot, a half-dozen shots, or whatever your poison of choice may be, and allow yourself to let go of some of that weight, or you can rest assured, you will hold it. And there's nothing more miserable than carrying that weight alone. So says Sydney Waterfall, channeling her inner Whisper from prolonged exposure to their finest ranks.
Written By Sydney
Nov. 12, 2020, 2:54 p.m.(5/16/1014 AR)
< There is nothing but a furious stroke of ink slashed across the page as though produced with four fingers dragged across the page rather than any writing tool. Below it, there is simply the date. Penned neatly and primly underneath of it. >
5.14.1014 AR
5.14.1014 AR
Written By Sydney
Nov. 11, 2020, 1 a.m.(5/13/1014 AR)
Always temper your pride with common sense.
If you are offered a gift in good faith, accept. But always know what the giver intends, and if they gain more from such a gift than your smile.
If you are offered a gift in good faith, accept. But always know what the giver intends, and if they gain more from such a gift than your smile.
Written By Sydney
Nov. 7, 2020, 12:06 p.m.(5/6/1014 AR)
Relationship Note on Lenne
I find myself wondering if the snow has thawed where you are, and if you're happier now without the things that brought you pain so very near to you.
I hope you were able to find solace. I hope your heart and mind still race at the possibilities of this world - I hope you still have piles and piles of books around you, so many that I could scarcely hope to catch up in a year, let alone a month. I admired that hunger. I admire it still.
You should see how absurdly long my hair has gotten. It's hard to believe that when we met I was self-conscious about the way it brushed the back of my neck, and now it's all but nipping my knees. Penning this makes me realize how long it's been since I saw you last, and the yawning feeling inside of me opens up again. There's room in my heart for many, and apparently room enough for the absence of many to be felt as keenly.
I hope you think on us, but I of all people know the value of finding peace with who you are as a person before being able to face the world properly. It's a process I'm still working on, myself.
I hope you were able to find solace. I hope your heart and mind still race at the possibilities of this world - I hope you still have piles and piles of books around you, so many that I could scarcely hope to catch up in a year, let alone a month. I admired that hunger. I admire it still.
You should see how absurdly long my hair has gotten. It's hard to believe that when we met I was self-conscious about the way it brushed the back of my neck, and now it's all but nipping my knees. Penning this makes me realize how long it's been since I saw you last, and the yawning feeling inside of me opens up again. There's room in my heart for many, and apparently room enough for the absence of many to be felt as keenly.
I hope you think on us, but I of all people know the value of finding peace with who you are as a person before being able to face the world properly. It's a process I'm still working on, myself.
Written By Sydney
Nov. 7, 2020, 11:57 a.m.(5/6/1014 AR)
Relationship Note on Shard
Until those who trample on our lives lay broken at our feet, flabbergasted in their flailing, wailing, gnashing and thrashing.
You were the first one to help me see.
Thank you.
You were the first one to help me see.
Thank you.
Written By Sydney
Nov. 5, 2020, 6:09 p.m.(5/2/1014 AR)
While there's something to be said about training in the Training Center, I'm finding pleasure with going back to my roots for the time being - taking a reprieve from learning about how to defend and deal with weapons and more about how to refine my craft against those who also follow what I've heard referred to as 'the sweet science'.
I've got bruises on my bruises from some solid strikes, but I'm pleased with the experience.
It's a real treat to have a training venue that's closer to home.
I've got bruises on my bruises from some solid strikes, but I'm pleased with the experience.
It's a real treat to have a training venue that's closer to home.
Written By Sydney
Nov. 1, 2020, 4:27 p.m.(4/22/1014 AR)
The masquerade?
Don't be ridiculous. Of course I didn't attend. Anyone would be able to tell at a glance if I stood behind any mask.
Besides, have you seen the dresses they wear there? I'm not sure which would be worse - showing up and being so hopelessly outstaged or showing up and having my head turned quite so many times. It's enough to make for a sore neck, I'm certain.
I definitely did not attend.
Don't be ridiculous. Of course I didn't attend. Anyone would be able to tell at a glance if I stood behind any mask.
Besides, have you seen the dresses they wear there? I'm not sure which would be worse - showing up and being so hopelessly outstaged or showing up and having my head turned quite so many times. It's enough to make for a sore neck, I'm certain.
I definitely did not attend.
Written By Sydney
Nov. 1, 2020, 4:19 p.m.(4/22/1014 AR)
Uncertainty is one of the cruelest tricks that can plague the mind.
Too many is the number of those I've been close to - or at least on good terms with - who have simply moved on with their lives and left this city with nary a word to me before so doing. Not knowing how they fare, not knowing if they live, not knowing where they are? The absolute worst of all. I could write entries at length for each of them, and to what end?
Ever have I made a concerted effort not to fall prey to wallowing about the past when the future has so much yet to be written, but I am as human as any when it comes to the simplest of truths:
I miss them all.
New faces will stand where they stood in time, perhaps, but not a one is replaceable.
Too many is the number of those I've been close to - or at least on good terms with - who have simply moved on with their lives and left this city with nary a word to me before so doing. Not knowing how they fare, not knowing if they live, not knowing where they are? The absolute worst of all. I could write entries at length for each of them, and to what end?
Ever have I made a concerted effort not to fall prey to wallowing about the past when the future has so much yet to be written, but I am as human as any when it comes to the simplest of truths:
I miss them all.
New faces will stand where they stood in time, perhaps, but not a one is replaceable.
Written By Sydney
Oct. 26, 2020, 8:11 p.m.(4/10/1014 AR)
I will not be so easily swayed when next we meet.
Written By Sydney
Oct. 25, 2020, 9:22 p.m.(4/8/1014 AR)
The field of challengers grows smaller by the day for those that fight with their hands, or at least those that are willing to go toe-to-toe with me.
This isn't to say that I am wanting for spars, but only that it's been quite some time now since the last time I've fought someone using only our hands and some modest smallclothes.
Pray mistake this not for crowing and braggery - if anything, it's a lament. My reputation has begun to precede me. A novel and uncomfortable feeling that I shall not quickly grow accustomed to. Nothing for it but to raise a glass, down it, repeat, and wait.
This isn't to say that I am wanting for spars, but only that it's been quite some time now since the last time I've fought someone using only our hands and some modest smallclothes.
Pray mistake this not for crowing and braggery - if anything, it's a lament. My reputation has begun to precede me. A novel and uncomfortable feeling that I shall not quickly grow accustomed to. Nothing for it but to raise a glass, down it, repeat, and wait.
Written By Sydney
Oct. 23, 2020, 10:22 a.m.(4/3/1014 AR)
The snow thaws, the flowers rise, and the Lowers breathe a collective sigh of relief.
Written By Sydney
Oct. 22, 2020, 11:59 a.m.(4/1/1014 AR)
I will never understand the compulsion to keep all of ones pretty things in a place that is plain sight. Is it that one no longer cares if they're pilfered from, or is it merely a lack of sense?
I often worry that I offend those whom I stay with by keeping the thoughtfully-prepared furnishings and armoires and chests all but bare. It's not from a lack of trust in any particular person and more a symptom of my inability to feel truly safe in a place that isn't of my own making, my own choosing, and that only one key exists to.
Should any I routinely stay with happen upon this entry, know it's naught to do with you, and all to do with spending eight years without a permanent residence. I am trying to improve upon it now that my circumstances have changed, but it's... decidedly difficult to break old habits. She said, casting a baleful look at her third glass of whiskey.
I often worry that I offend those whom I stay with by keeping the thoughtfully-prepared furnishings and armoires and chests all but bare. It's not from a lack of trust in any particular person and more a symptom of my inability to feel truly safe in a place that isn't of my own making, my own choosing, and that only one key exists to.
Should any I routinely stay with happen upon this entry, know it's naught to do with you, and all to do with spending eight years without a permanent residence. I am trying to improve upon it now that my circumstances have changed, but it's... decidedly difficult to break old habits. She said, casting a baleful look at her third glass of whiskey.
Written By Sydney
Oct. 18, 2020, 11:20 a.m.(3/21/1014 AR)
Well, I can add this to my list of accomplishments: I'm so hideously embarrassed that I could die.
Never before has my foot felt so squarely lodged in my mouth at a moment where I required it to be witty, cunning or impressive. I'm quite certain I failed on all counts but being a modestly pleasant thing to look at, and I disdain that feeling most of all. I need to steel my resolve, going forward.
I have no desire for that to happen again.
Never before has my foot felt so squarely lodged in my mouth at a moment where I required it to be witty, cunning or impressive. I'm quite certain I failed on all counts but being a modestly pleasant thing to look at, and I disdain that feeling most of all. I need to steel my resolve, going forward.
I have no desire for that to happen again.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.