Written By Svana
May 4, 2020, 12:11 a.m.(3/23/1013 AR)
Relationship Note on Rowenova
With my husband being gone (permanently? temporarily? who is to say?), I feel lucky to have such good friends. Miss Rowenova brought me the most delicious food today. We had a good talk. She is wise beyond her years; sometimes I do forget that Rowenova is very close to my age. The food was good, but her hugs were better. I'm lucky to have someone I can share my secrets with and they will be kept without judgment; frankly, I am lucky to have a few friends like that. Thank you all.
Written By Svana
April 30, 2020, 8:26 p.m.(3/16/1013 AR)
My husband is gone, but today he stopped back through town. It was strange; like seeing a ghost. I feel like my heart is breaking. I'm sure it's just pregnancy making me crazy, or at least I hope it is. I have never felt more like a stranger I've been married to for just over three months now. Three months. It's gone so fast. The blink of an eye, really.
I got to hold a kitten today, so that was pretty good. I just wish things were better.
I got to hold a kitten today, so that was pretty good. I just wish things were better.
Written By Svana
April 29, 2020, 9:07 p.m.(3/14/1013 AR)
I am officially not to climb stairs anymore. Only three pieces of tailoring a week from now on. Plenty of fluids and bedrest. About six months to go.
I am terribly bored, Scholar. Tired of losing weight, throwing up, and having dizzy spells - and the occasional faint. Only one so far. I do so hope that those who have taken out commissions with me will be patient, and if they are not... well, I have two little ones growing inside me to worry about. That is more important.
I am terribly bored, Scholar. Tired of losing weight, throwing up, and having dizzy spells - and the occasional faint. Only one so far. I do so hope that those who have taken out commissions with me will be patient, and if they are not... well, I have two little ones growing inside me to worry about. That is more important.
Written By Svana
April 26, 2020, 10:38 p.m.(3/9/1013 AR)
We went to a ball. It was great fun! I got to meet a few new people, and we did one or two dances. I got quite overheated and had to go home. The diamond gown I wore was so far out of my comfort zone... I doubt I shall ever put it on again, unless there is certainly some very special occasion. My scar was visible and it makes feel vulnerable and small. No one asked about it, which is for the better.
It was a good night though. I like when my husband takes me out.
It was a good night though. I like when my husband takes me out.
Written By Svana
April 18, 2020, 4:16 p.m.(2/20/1013 AR)
I have the strangest homesickness for Bonespire more than ever right now. People say that I'm a fool since it's 'uninhabitable' up there, but the Stahlben clan and plenty of other families lived in Everwinter for years and years. We, as people, adapt - and so do I - but I struggle with the City somedays more than others. Right now I must wonder if my children will ever know a properly cold winter or if they all will ever know is the City.
I might be homesick because I miss my parents. They are not here to tell me what to do with a child. I know I have many other friends who have had children and are more than willing to offer their advice, but it's not the same. I had to grow up at a hard age, but I still wish I could hug my mother one last time and tell her I'm sorry for being a shit daughter, and ask her what I'm supposed to do. I wish my father was here so that he could give me advice and meet Jules. His blessing we would not easily get but he always knew once I had my mind set to something, I did not give up.
But as we common folk say, wish in one hand, shit in the other and see which one fills first.
My spirits are lifted, however, due to the arrival of Lady Poppy Stahlben in the city! She is closest to my age of the Stahlben children. She and I spent hours making little straw dolls and mudpies, doing all kinds of things that got us into heaps of trouble. It's hard to say who was the instigator. Regardless, my friend is home, and whether or not I am a member of House Stahlben, I always say and mean that she and Lady Volcica will always be my ladies. It was nice to see them at the bonfire last night hosted by Mother Bear Drea.
I might be homesick because I miss my parents. They are not here to tell me what to do with a child. I know I have many other friends who have had children and are more than willing to offer their advice, but it's not the same. I had to grow up at a hard age, but I still wish I could hug my mother one last time and tell her I'm sorry for being a shit daughter, and ask her what I'm supposed to do. I wish my father was here so that he could give me advice and meet Jules. His blessing we would not easily get but he always knew once I had my mind set to something, I did not give up.
But as we common folk say, wish in one hand, shit in the other and see which one fills first.
My spirits are lifted, however, due to the arrival of Lady Poppy Stahlben in the city! She is closest to my age of the Stahlben children. She and I spent hours making little straw dolls and mudpies, doing all kinds of things that got us into heaps of trouble. It's hard to say who was the instigator. Regardless, my friend is home, and whether or not I am a member of House Stahlben, I always say and mean that she and Lady Volcica will always be my ladies. It was nice to see them at the bonfire last night hosted by Mother Bear Drea.
Written By Svana
April 17, 2020, 12:55 p.m.(2/17/1013 AR)
My husband and I finally officially celebrated our wedding with our friends and family. To those who will read this, I do thank you for showing up. It was a better night than I could have predicted. I had the most fun I've had in some time - and without you all there helping to celebrate, it wouldn't have been the same.
I met a few new faces, and was humbled by some of those who showed up. Lady Mikani and Lord Rysen have been far too generous to us in gifting us a house, as well as presenting me with a gorgeous pair of star iron earrings with a Northern triskelion design - and a beautiful ring for Jules.
To hear so many people say that Jules has picked correctly in me gives me a great source of pride, but also scares me. It is clear to me at least that there are many who love Jules, and if I should hurt him, I will get my ass beat. Vice versa for him, I should expect. There are far too many who are kind in saying that I have been the best thing he has brought to House Crovane though; I have not yet begun to prove my worth to the House. Let me do that first, then you decide.
New beginnings. Always new beginnings.
I met a few new faces, and was humbled by some of those who showed up. Lady Mikani and Lord Rysen have been far too generous to us in gifting us a house, as well as presenting me with a gorgeous pair of star iron earrings with a Northern triskelion design - and a beautiful ring for Jules.
To hear so many people say that Jules has picked correctly in me gives me a great source of pride, but also scares me. It is clear to me at least that there are many who love Jules, and if I should hurt him, I will get my ass beat. Vice versa for him, I should expect. There are far too many who are kind in saying that I have been the best thing he has brought to House Crovane though; I have not yet begun to prove my worth to the House. Let me do that first, then you decide.
New beginnings. Always new beginnings.
Written By Svana
April 12, 2020, 10:24 p.m.(2/8/1013 AR)
I started a business this week and had success! I am so pleased with how well my designs have gone over.
I also hired a guard this week in case I feel any worse - and in case I need protecting. Downside, he is my older brother's friend and I have known him a long time. He knows too much about me and he is ineffective due to this. Thankfully I know he will do the right thing, though he is rather irritating.
Oh fuck off, Njall, of course I'm not writing about YOU.
I also hired a guard this week in case I feel any worse - and in case I need protecting. Downside, he is my older brother's friend and I have known him a long time. He knows too much about me and he is ineffective due to this. Thankfully I know he will do the right thing, though he is rather irritating.
Oh fuck off, Njall, of course I'm not writing about YOU.
Written By Svana
April 5, 2020, 10:47 p.m.(1/22/1013 AR)
We have gone baking with the Laurents. I ate a delicious chocolate chip cookie, then I made some cookie dough - which wasn't half bad, but I didn't take mine home. There was an eating competition that I was sure I could win, but as soon as I smelled the peanut butter and made it past the second cookie, I had to puke. This whole pregnancy thing is a bit of a bust at times, but the end result will surely be worth it. I do hope that I didn't offend Lady Mabelle further by throwing up in her yard.
After I got my bearings, I went to the Murder to see if I could still enjoy pies. Guess what? That hasn't been ruined yet for me. Miss Tanith gave me delightful little apple handpies! And I got to meet several new people, and see Lord Drake again, which was nice.
I've never been much on eating 'full meals' or much at all through the day, but right now my body is playing a cruel joke on me. One minute it says 'eat' and the next minute it says 'just kidding' in the worst of ways.
After I got my bearings, I went to the Murder to see if I could still enjoy pies. Guess what? That hasn't been ruined yet for me. Miss Tanith gave me delightful little apple handpies! And I got to meet several new people, and see Lord Drake again, which was nice.
I've never been much on eating 'full meals' or much at all through the day, but right now my body is playing a cruel joke on me. One minute it says 'eat' and the next minute it says 'just kidding' in the worst of ways.
Written By Svana
April 2, 2020, 11:40 p.m.(1/16/1013 AR)
Relationship Note on Asher
Master Asher has outdone himself with our wedding rings. He took a mere idea that I had and turned it into something so exquisite that I really can't find words to do it justice. For the rest of my life, I will be proud to wear this on my finger. He is a kind soul from top to bottom, and he seems to truly care about me - and Jules, in his way. I do so hope that he will grace us with his presence at our reception and see how well the rings sparkle together.
Written By Svana
March 30, 2020, 10:18 a.m.(1/9/1013 AR)
There is to be no happiness in my future. I am thinking of leaving the city.
Written By Svana
March 29, 2020, 1:28 p.m.(1/7/1013 AR)
And so it goes.
I have made many difficult decisions recently that tear at my heartstrings; particularly now that Cady has been returned to the wheel, as those who believe in the pantheon call it.
What is supposed to be a happy time in my life has been marred with some of the cruelest circumstances. I assure you that if this journal entry sounds particularly selfish, it is. I earned my happiness long ago and to have it dangling in front of me without being able to enjoy it is a swift kick in the head.
Largely, Arcadia and I butted heads, particularly just before she died... but that does not mean I ever wanted to see her go in such a brutal way... I cannot imagine. I do not want to imagine. I have sat with her body in her snow. I do not want her to be alone. At the same time, I want to return to Stahlben Hall and scoop her children up. They are too young; she has a newborn, for feck's sake. He will never know her, but Genevieve will, and it's going to hurt her the most. I loved Arcadia even if she and I didn't always agree. She did many good turns for so many others... she died trying to save those she cared about.
Just as two children should lose their mother, I have found out that I am to become a mother. I have prayed for this child and it is a blessing from Limerance - that is what Lady Esme told me. I believe that. It feels wrong to be happy about it though. My marriage and the news of a baby have been overshadowed by so much grief and strain that I wonder if there will ever be a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.
And so it goes...
I have made many difficult decisions recently that tear at my heartstrings; particularly now that Cady has been returned to the wheel, as those who believe in the pantheon call it.
What is supposed to be a happy time in my life has been marred with some of the cruelest circumstances. I assure you that if this journal entry sounds particularly selfish, it is. I earned my happiness long ago and to have it dangling in front of me without being able to enjoy it is a swift kick in the head.
Largely, Arcadia and I butted heads, particularly just before she died... but that does not mean I ever wanted to see her go in such a brutal way... I cannot imagine. I do not want to imagine. I have sat with her body in her snow. I do not want her to be alone. At the same time, I want to return to Stahlben Hall and scoop her children up. They are too young; she has a newborn, for feck's sake. He will never know her, but Genevieve will, and it's going to hurt her the most. I loved Arcadia even if she and I didn't always agree. She did many good turns for so many others... she died trying to save those she cared about.
Just as two children should lose their mother, I have found out that I am to become a mother. I have prayed for this child and it is a blessing from Limerance - that is what Lady Esme told me. I believe that. It feels wrong to be happy about it though. My marriage and the news of a baby have been overshadowed by so much grief and strain that I wonder if there will ever be a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.
And so it goes...
Written By Svana
March 24, 2020, 10:25 a.m.(12/25/1012 AR)
Relationship Note on Jules
It was just one time, what's the worst that could happen? No need to act like your life is flashing before your eyes, Jules.
Written By Svana
March 22, 2020, 2:30 a.m.(12/21/1012 AR)
No wonder why people described this city as 'fun' and 'bustling' to me before I decided to settle; if they had told me the truth, that it is a hateful place full of mistrust and ugliness, I would have never come here.
Written By Svana
March 19, 2020, 3:52 p.m.(12/16/1012 AR)
Relationship Note on Jules
And so it is done. Jules and I were wed under a big bright moon in the marketplace, late at night - just as we first met. We have had a terrifically short courtship and I don't think there's a single thing wrong with that. On some deep level, we know each other very well without knowing one another at all. Though I have to admit it does seem a bit strange to be married to a man and not know his favorite color. I'm fairly certain it's blue, though.
There are many fine details to work out between the two of us, but we have time now - the rest of our lives, as it was promised.
I wish my parents were here to see an event they probably never thought would happen - Spirits and Gods above know that I never thought it would happen. But he's the one, I intend to keep him, and I will fight for our happiness every step of the way.
Yours,
Svana Fabron.
There are many fine details to work out between the two of us, but we have time now - the rest of our lives, as it was promised.
I wish my parents were here to see an event they probably never thought would happen - Spirits and Gods above know that I never thought it would happen. But he's the one, I intend to keep him, and I will fight for our happiness every step of the way.
Yours,
Svana Fabron.
Written By Svana
March 13, 2020, 12:23 p.m.(12/3/1012 AR)
Relationship Note on Jules
My beloved is such a strange man, and sometimes difficult to figure out what to do with; that doesn't mean I don't enjoy him, but oh dear.
He has brought me back a servant - a Prodigal girl who saved his life and is now in love with him. Upon first hearing this, my reaction was not exactly favorable and I am sorry for the way that I acted - but could anyone really blame me? It's not the kind of news you want to get, necessarily. But now that she's here and I see she's a rather sulky thing that is merely infatuated with my dear, I am much more receptive to the thought of having a helper. She can teach me to cook.
On the other hand, Jules also took me to my first jousting tournament and it was splendid! We sat with Duke Ryhalt Farshaw and the Lady Colette Laurent. Dame Felicia Harrow is really something. I think she was the most striking knight there. She bowed to me! I try not to be so easily wowed by those things but it was very exhilirating. I wonder what I'd look like riding a horse. Probably ghastly.
He has brought me back a servant - a Prodigal girl who saved his life and is now in love with him. Upon first hearing this, my reaction was not exactly favorable and I am sorry for the way that I acted - but could anyone really blame me? It's not the kind of news you want to get, necessarily. But now that she's here and I see she's a rather sulky thing that is merely infatuated with my dear, I am much more receptive to the thought of having a helper. She can teach me to cook.
On the other hand, Jules also took me to my first jousting tournament and it was splendid! We sat with Duke Ryhalt Farshaw and the Lady Colette Laurent. Dame Felicia Harrow is really something. I think she was the most striking knight there. She bowed to me! I try not to be so easily wowed by those things but it was very exhilirating. I wonder what I'd look like riding a horse. Probably ghastly.
Written By Svana
March 9, 2020, 9:47 a.m.(11/23/1012 AR)
I am so conflicted at the moment. Sometimes I wonder if I ask too much of those around me - but I haven't even started doing the most important asking. Time will tell. All I know is, my loyalty is firm, but I am not one to be crossed. I do not live in a fantasy world; things aren't as simple as they seem and there may never be a happy ever after, but I can live with a good match, money in my bank account, and not pissing off anyone important to me.
Written By Svana
Feb. 26, 2020, 7:36 a.m.(10/27/1012 AR)
I'm ready to venture out and begin taking up more crafting. I'd like to learn how to tailor, perhaps, but right now my focus is on leatherworking. I've been making rugs - sheepskin is the best option for me right now, as it's easy to work with, a good size, and the fur is considerably easy to dye. I've gotten quite familiar with the dying vats and how to play with colors as well. I hope it's not long before I can sell my pieces. Admittedly, I have never thought of myself as a house decorator, much less a fashion designer, or someone who even makes accessories - but I do love what I'm doing now. It's a nice change from the market, but I hope no one thinks that I'm slouching in that area - I'm still very active in the market and I have deals going. Never forget who Svana Kolur is and where she started.
Written By Svana
Feb. 8, 2020, 1:36 p.m.(9.578100198412699/19.37361111111111/1012.714841683201 AR)
Apollo Oakwood has made me his apprentice, and I have learned how to stir brains and pelts in a big cauldron. It's an exciting time to be alive. In all seriousness, I am very grateful for this opportunity. Not only is Apollo one of the kindest souls I've ever had the pleasure of coming into contact with, it will also benefit the both of us in so many ways.
Written By Svana
Jan. 31, 2020, 10:18 a.m.(8.997183366402115/35.842268518518516/1012.6664319472002 AR)
Bored, bored, bored. As much as I love the city that I now call my home, it is always hard to come back from traveling. I feel the itch in my bones to be constantly on the move. There is rarely anything to keep me centered until I do it on my own or something catches my eye. Or someone. I wonder where that handsome Prince ran off to... or if we will ever meet again. Hopefully likely. But I have other things to do. The city is overflowing with shops yet no merchandise catches my eye. Maybe it really is time to "settle" here and strike into my own business serving the nobles. It sounds lucrative, but less fun than the life I know. I guess I'll have to decide which is important.
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