Written By Joslyn
March 26, 2017, 1 a.m.(2/27/1006 AR)
So I learned today that I am able to stand and fight in a battle. That I can watch a man have his head literally torn from his body and fight on without recoiling back in fear and horror. That I lived through this event and recall it all with near perfect memory is something else, and yet... thinking back it's like I was a different person altogether. When the threat of death to myself or my beloved was upon me... I charged in and never looked back, and yet the person that I became? I was fierce and murderous. I didn't let anything stand in my way. As blood of the enemy covered my armor, I moved on, stabbing and killing my way through the crowds. After a time, through my shouts of rage and anger I found that I was smiling. Through the horror and the carnage, I found that I enjoyed the chaos, that I truly liked it in that moment.
That person is not me... and she scares me. I still plan on bringing her out again in the future. I just hope that I don't start to like that feeling too much in the future.
That person is not me... and she scares me. I still plan on bringing her out again in the future. I just hope that I don't start to like that feeling too much in the future.
Written By Joslyn
March 19, 2017, 8:58 a.m.(2/13/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Ferrando
I don't spend nearly as much time with this tower of a man as I should. Has some quite entertaining stories to tell, so I should get to know him better, maybe he'll tell me more.
Written By Joslyn
March 19, 2017, 8:53 a.m.(2/13/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Artorius
A very good fighter. I swear, I almost had him, but perhaps next time. He certainly proved I'm not as ready as I thought. I must train harder.
Written By Joslyn
March 19, 2017, 8:47 a.m.(2/13/1006 AR)
The battle approaches, my preparations are set. I'm teaming up with Lord Michael Bisland in his efforts to evacuate the lower boroughs, and hopefully save as many lives as I can. I am trying not to subject myself to too great a risk, for the sake of those that depend on me, but I refuse to be idle throughout this ordeal.
I hope Calandra listens to sense, and comes to stay with me in the Fidante villa. I can't imagine anywhere safer, though I wish that I could keep all that I wished safe behind these walls. Perhaps I'm selfish. I'll gladly risk myself for those I love, but the moment that I learn those I love are risking themselves...
I pray to the gods for her safe return, and pray that if at the very least, that I'll be allowed to keep my memory. In the meantime, I'll prepare myself, prepare her, and what comes will come.
I'm the one that wished to be a warrior. Now I understand the worry that I'll wrought upon those that care for me in the future. I suppose this fear of loss I'll need to rid myself of. It's a weakness that only stops me from moving forward.
I hope Calandra listens to sense, and comes to stay with me in the Fidante villa. I can't imagine anywhere safer, though I wish that I could keep all that I wished safe behind these walls. Perhaps I'm selfish. I'll gladly risk myself for those I love, but the moment that I learn those I love are risking themselves...
I pray to the gods for her safe return, and pray that if at the very least, that I'll be allowed to keep my memory. In the meantime, I'll prepare myself, prepare her, and what comes will come.
I'm the one that wished to be a warrior. Now I understand the worry that I'll wrought upon those that care for me in the future. I suppose this fear of loss I'll need to rid myself of. It's a weakness that only stops me from moving forward.
Written By Joslyn
March 12, 2017, 11:39 p.m.(2/1/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Freja
Apparently she's a higher up in the Society of Explorers. If I wanna get in good with the group, she's one of the ones I wanna get in good with. I hope I can make a good impression, I'd like to go on a proper expedition when all this business is done.
Written By Joslyn
March 12, 2017, 4:55 p.m.(1/28/1006 AR)
The moment of truth quickly approaches. I don't know what's going to happen, or what I'll even be able to feel when all is said and done. My life is come to a place where I couldn't be happier, and yet I couldn't be worse off. That sounds an awful lot like whining, and I assure you, that is not the case. With the approach of the armies though... it couldn't have come at a worse time in my life, just when everything was going so well, the whole world is going to hell. I pray I am standing when this is done, and that I endure this with no loss of my friends, or anybody else that I hold dear. Looks like I arrived in Arx just in time, yeah?
Written By Joslyn
March 7, 2017, 8:07 p.m.(1/18/1006 AR)
A note for the future. Just a reminder to myself, that if for any reason I forget why I'm wearing a ring of roses around my finger, that it was given to me by somebody very special, and that I shall never, ever take it off. If I do remember this and find this white journal? I can safely remove this from the stacks, but just in case... I need to be assured that I will forever retain what semblance of memory that I can.
Written By Joslyn
March 5, 2017, 4:44 a.m.(1/13/1006 AR)
While I cannot say with certainty that this is indeed what I saw, I'm going to tell this to myself, and rejoice that I could be present for this first and very special moment for a new couple of Arx. I believe that I bore witness to a couple's first kiss (Whom I will not name directly in my white journal to preserve their privacy.) But it is such a beautiful and wondrous thing to see young love. My heart leaps, and is also heavy, and I just hope that this is the beginning of something long and beautiful, and that this isn't something that is cut short far before its time.
Is this city getting to me? Life was so easy and carefree before I arrived, and now I can hardly witness something pure and beautiful without worrying of dread and loss.
Is this city getting to me? Life was so easy and carefree before I arrived, and now I can hardly witness something pure and beautiful without worrying of dread and loss.
Written By Joslyn
March 2, 2017, 8:29 a.m.(1/7/1006 AR)
I was ten, and she was twelve. I looked into her eyes when she made the suggestion, she was always the one making the suggestions, how could I say no? She was so beautiful. I remember it so clearly, as if it were only yesterday. I was just a girl, and she was already blossoming into such a beauty.
I looked into her eyes, and my heart raced. I didn't make sense of it at the time, the affection that I felt for her going far beyond that of simple friendship. At the time I simply regarded her suggestion as she called it. "Practice." My heart pounded, I could feel it fluttering in my chest, a lump rise in my throat, and my stomach danced. Our lips met and I felt every part of my body feel as though it were going to burst. Our inexperienced attempts had felt like the most wonderful thing to me at the time. If only I had come to understand my own feelings sooner. The years wasted dancing around the issue.
I then wondered why I enjoyed our practice so much more than when I would kiss boys. It never felt the same, or right. The whole time I thought that I must be doing something wrong. Clearly. I must have been, right? When I realized it must have been girls I tried again. It was better, but still nothing compared to my first. Our practice became earnest, and soon I began to understand my love. I was afraid to call her mine, but I guess we always did have a piece of each other's heart. Whether our time together is far too short, or we grow into bitter old women together, I will treasure every instant I spend in her company. Whatever the future brings, I refuse to allow it to take away our past.
I looked into her eyes, and my heart raced. I didn't make sense of it at the time, the affection that I felt for her going far beyond that of simple friendship. At the time I simply regarded her suggestion as she called it. "Practice." My heart pounded, I could feel it fluttering in my chest, a lump rise in my throat, and my stomach danced. Our lips met and I felt every part of my body feel as though it were going to burst. Our inexperienced attempts had felt like the most wonderful thing to me at the time. If only I had come to understand my own feelings sooner. The years wasted dancing around the issue.
I then wondered why I enjoyed our practice so much more than when I would kiss boys. It never felt the same, or right. The whole time I thought that I must be doing something wrong. Clearly. I must have been, right? When I realized it must have been girls I tried again. It was better, but still nothing compared to my first. Our practice became earnest, and soon I began to understand my love. I was afraid to call her mine, but I guess we always did have a piece of each other's heart. Whether our time together is far too short, or we grow into bitter old women together, I will treasure every instant I spend in her company. Whatever the future brings, I refuse to allow it to take away our past.
Written By Joslyn
Feb. 27, 2017, 12:02 a.m.(1/1/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Niamh
I'd thought that I'd lost my chance to get to know her better after I'd sent a messenger with a request some time ago, and never received a reply. I'm glad that somebody spoke to her and cleared up a great deal of confusion, as it turned out the messenger had misheard the name and had delivered it to somebody else! Once that had been cleared up, it was obvious that our first meeting had left a great first impression, and I'm glad because I've enjoyed every moment I've spent with her. Except maybe today, when I watched her get cut open by Zhayla, and that was tough to see. But it's no matter, she'll get her next time.
Written By Joslyn
Feb. 19, 2017, 12:23 a.m.(12/13/1005 AR)
I sometimes wonder who will worry about the things that plague my heart. The things that haunt my dreams and cause endless worry. I spend so much time worrying about my closest friends and the matters of their own lives. I worry for Calista and all that she must bear, because if she didn't, who would? And so I must help her, as she cannot be allowed to fail.
What concerns me, the things that cause me to wake in the middle of the night are such trite things. Things of no importance to anybody but myself, and I cannot bear to expect anybody to have to listen to my ramblings, so I ask you dear reader, if you do not wish to read a young woman's heartache and woes, I urge you not to read on. For nothing that follows is of any import to politics or history, and is only the thoughts and frustrations of a young handmaiden from tor.
Love comes unexpectedly, and despite the fact that I've fallen quite hard for somebody, and I couldn't be happier... truly I am. She has been a blessing in these most troubled times. She is one of the most trusted sources of stability in a world that seems to be endlessly chaotic. I dare not share my troubles with her, though I am certain she would bear them gladly. I do not wish to tarnish our moments with sadness. The truth is, no matter how much I try to pretend that there is nothing bothering me, I am very much afraid of losing all of those that I love. This coming storm, the armies that march upon us, I cannot sleep for fear that the conflict will come and destroy that which I hold dear. I waken from nightmares in which I stumble upon the broken body of my beloved and I cannot bear it. I have to do my part to stem this tide, and to that end I must help Calista. I must secure alliances, and I must make sure that these nightmares remain just that. Nightmares. I am not saying that my dreams are anything more, and they certainly had better not be warnings, I don't know that my heart can handle that.
It is indeed a poor time to be in love, but I would not trade it for all the silver in Arx.
What concerns me, the things that cause me to wake in the middle of the night are such trite things. Things of no importance to anybody but myself, and I cannot bear to expect anybody to have to listen to my ramblings, so I ask you dear reader, if you do not wish to read a young woman's heartache and woes, I urge you not to read on. For nothing that follows is of any import to politics or history, and is only the thoughts and frustrations of a young handmaiden from tor.
Love comes unexpectedly, and despite the fact that I've fallen quite hard for somebody, and I couldn't be happier... truly I am. She has been a blessing in these most troubled times. She is one of the most trusted sources of stability in a world that seems to be endlessly chaotic. I dare not share my troubles with her, though I am certain she would bear them gladly. I do not wish to tarnish our moments with sadness. The truth is, no matter how much I try to pretend that there is nothing bothering me, I am very much afraid of losing all of those that I love. This coming storm, the armies that march upon us, I cannot sleep for fear that the conflict will come and destroy that which I hold dear. I waken from nightmares in which I stumble upon the broken body of my beloved and I cannot bear it. I have to do my part to stem this tide, and to that end I must help Calista. I must secure alliances, and I must make sure that these nightmares remain just that. Nightmares. I am not saying that my dreams are anything more, and they certainly had better not be warnings, I don't know that my heart can handle that.
It is indeed a poor time to be in love, but I would not trade it for all the silver in Arx.
Written By Joslyn
Feb. 12, 2017, 8:13 p.m.(11/28/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Calandra
Calandra is a whisper that was born and raised here in Arx. I met her upon my return home, in fact within the day. She was sweet but shy, and I certainly can understand given the situation that first brought us together. Since then, we've grown quite close, and I find myself looking forward to more trips to the whisper house as more time goes on. She is lovely, and beautiful, and I love her clothes and jewelry. Aside from all that, she is incredibly kind and warm, I'm so glad to know her, and I hope there is more where that came from.
Written By Joslyn
Feb. 11, 2017, 9:57 p.m.(11/27/1005 AR)
When I started on my journey, I did not expect that I would find love here. Aside from those that I loved already that were waiting for me, I was coming for business, to be with my best friend and confidant, and somebody that I love dearly. That was the arrangement, and I was content to know that at the very least I would have Calista and Juliet waiting for me. I would also see, of course, Angelo, Leo, and Dante. All of them are dear to my heart, in their own way.
What I didn't expect was that I would meet a woman and fall in love anew. It was eye opening, and when I met her I never imagined that I would feel for her as I do now. I always knew that I would take a wife, rather than a husband, and I'm beginning to hope that I've found my future partner. Things are still new and young and I don't know what the future brings, but I'll dedicate so much of it to making her happy, and someday... calling her mine. I wasn't looking for marriage material, but now that the idea has entered my mind, I can't get it out.
What I didn't expect was that I would meet a woman and fall in love anew. It was eye opening, and when I met her I never imagined that I would feel for her as I do now. I always knew that I would take a wife, rather than a husband, and I'm beginning to hope that I've found my future partner. Things are still new and young and I don't know what the future brings, but I'll dedicate so much of it to making her happy, and someday... calling her mine. I wasn't looking for marriage material, but now that the idea has entered my mind, I can't get it out.
Written By Joslyn
Feb. 9, 2017, 2:43 a.m.(11/20/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Calypso
I met the Lady General in an impromptu bit of fight night. Armored up in Juliet's armor. (Note: Get Rubicund) And I had a spar. I think she took it a little easier than she would have, but I managed to surprise her with my skill and managed to knock her to the ground. She fights well, and I'll just be thankful I managed to stay on my feet. I'll have to spar with her again. It was a good time.
Written By Joslyn
Feb. 5, 2017, 8:04 p.m.(11/10/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Niamh
I received a message from Lady Niamh, whom told me that she had been told all about me from a mutual friend. Of course... I had already heard much about her, so I needed to meet her in person. As beautiful as she is imposing, I hope that I stay in her good graces, if not to enjoy her company (which so far I very much do) but to also keep from earning the ire of somebody that looks as if they could best me in single combat without even breaking a sweat. It's also a quality in a woman that I didn't realize I found incredibly attractive.
Written By Joslyn
Feb. 5, 2017, 7:56 p.m.(11/10/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Mailys
A lovely woman I met in the whisper house. She seemed to be trying to drown her sorrows, and mentioned that she was mending a broken heart. I hope I can meet her again, and take her mind off of her heartbreak, if even for only a few moments.
Written By Joslyn
Feb. 5, 2017, 7:54 p.m.(11/10/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Ferrando
He guards the Whisper House. I've rather enjoyed teasing the man to see where he does, and I'm not blind to the fact that he enjoys teasing me. Whatever he's doing is working.
Written By Joslyn
Feb. 5, 2017, 7:53 p.m.(11/10/1005 AR)
Leo is gone, along with his bride to be. As hard as I search for clues to his whereabouts, I remain unable to point in any one direction for long. I worry for Calista. For all that she's gone through, even if she was expecting to take on her role after her was wed, beginning her time as a duchess with such a heavy burden. I wish that there were something I could do to ease her worries. I hope that my searches turn up something, and I pray that I do not have to deliver her bad news. I only ever wish to see her smile again.
Written By Joslyn
Jan. 29, 2017, 11:41 p.m.(10/18/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Lyiana
A lovely young tailor that I met in a inn. Must remember to meet with her again, she is quite beautiful.
Written By Joslyn
Jan. 29, 2017, 11:40 p.m.(10/18/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Leola
Met her while visiting Juliet. She's very cute, and works with animals. Note to self: Take the time to get to know her better. Promised to give her a makeover.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.