Written By Arman
June 5, 2019, 4:16 p.m.(3/24/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Josephine
This woman's talent is unparalleled and her ability to manage her establishment while maintaining an air of grace and beauty across multiple locations is a merit in it of itself and a shining example of her management abilities. She has always been a pleasure to work with and has a definitive ability in matching the perfect combination of materials in order to create a product that truly speaks to its owner.
If I had the power I would keep her on retainer and hoard her skill, but alas her work is destined to be shared and even in the selfish depths of my heart I must admit it would be a travesty otherwise.
If I had the power I would keep her on retainer and hoard her skill, but alas her work is destined to be shared and even in the selfish depths of my heart I must admit it would be a travesty otherwise.
Written By Arman
June 5, 2019, 2:57 p.m.(3/24/1011 AR)
I am a violent man.
Many in today's times hear of my actions via diplomatic excursion or note I bear a quiet resolve. They might disagree with my personal assertion. However, this persona was not originally natural to me. It has taken years upon years of active effort to temper my baser qualities. Education in etiquette, diplomacy, composure in the face of contention as well as diversifying my understanding of cultural differences was necessary to accomplish it.
There was a time that I would encourage blades to be drawn via words and bait my victims to a point in which I could claim innocence in causing the outcome of whatever dispute had arisen. They attacked first, after all. The feel of a blade slicing through flesh is like no other and it sated something deep within me that begged to be fed. Something I didn't understand.
I still feel this inclination at times. I hold no shame in it. Its core intent is not to result in harm to another. It is to result in a personal release.
So, why do I make such a public announcement of what many would claim to be a negative trait? Why does anyone write personal observations in White Journals? To share our experience. To hope someone someday reads the words of their predecessors and garners some bit of peace or insight from them.
The other side of /my/ mirror is rage, but this has been transformed and directed toward positive goals. Tenacity, justice, devotion. All of these things are fueled by this rage. Without it I would not be the man I am.
I have known many men and women who share this trait and may not yet acknowledge it as a part of themselves. In truth, it wasn't until I came to know my wife (not just marry, but truly know her) that any clarity was brought to the potential the darkness that lingered in my heart could have. Miranda, in all her passion and fire, has and most likely always will be my greatest opponent in any dispute I've ever faced, but she also taught me that through our faults we can accomplish great things. She taught me the teachings of The Thirteenth in a way that I understood and came to value. That was my personal path, though.
Yours will be different.
Change is not an easy feat. I could insert dogmatic reference to Lagoma here, but I'll leave that to the better studied in matters of Our Lady of Change. Nonetheless, change is not easy... but it is necessary to become the people we /should/ aspire to be.
Embrace who you are in all of your mortal weakness and baser desires, then find how to use that "weakness" to your own betterment. Know yourself. Temper yourself. Utilize all parts of you and aspire toward greatness. Make that choice.
Many in today's times hear of my actions via diplomatic excursion or note I bear a quiet resolve. They might disagree with my personal assertion. However, this persona was not originally natural to me. It has taken years upon years of active effort to temper my baser qualities. Education in etiquette, diplomacy, composure in the face of contention as well as diversifying my understanding of cultural differences was necessary to accomplish it.
There was a time that I would encourage blades to be drawn via words and bait my victims to a point in which I could claim innocence in causing the outcome of whatever dispute had arisen. They attacked first, after all. The feel of a blade slicing through flesh is like no other and it sated something deep within me that begged to be fed. Something I didn't understand.
I still feel this inclination at times. I hold no shame in it. Its core intent is not to result in harm to another. It is to result in a personal release.
So, why do I make such a public announcement of what many would claim to be a negative trait? Why does anyone write personal observations in White Journals? To share our experience. To hope someone someday reads the words of their predecessors and garners some bit of peace or insight from them.
The other side of /my/ mirror is rage, but this has been transformed and directed toward positive goals. Tenacity, justice, devotion. All of these things are fueled by this rage. Without it I would not be the man I am.
I have known many men and women who share this trait and may not yet acknowledge it as a part of themselves. In truth, it wasn't until I came to know my wife (not just marry, but truly know her) that any clarity was brought to the potential the darkness that lingered in my heart could have. Miranda, in all her passion and fire, has and most likely always will be my greatest opponent in any dispute I've ever faced, but she also taught me that through our faults we can accomplish great things. She taught me the teachings of The Thirteenth in a way that I understood and came to value. That was my personal path, though.
Yours will be different.
Change is not an easy feat. I could insert dogmatic reference to Lagoma here, but I'll leave that to the better studied in matters of Our Lady of Change. Nonetheless, change is not easy... but it is necessary to become the people we /should/ aspire to be.
Embrace who you are in all of your mortal weakness and baser desires, then find how to use that "weakness" to your own betterment. Know yourself. Temper yourself. Utilize all parts of you and aspire toward greatness. Make that choice.
Written By Arman
April 23, 2019, 9:07 p.m.(12/22/1010 AR)
My father was a discerning man and a wise teacher. In my youth I loathed his lessons and at times I loathed him as a man. Not because the lessons did not hold extreme worth, but more so because they often resulted in a wound of some sort, be it physical or emotional. I believed he thought I was a fool, and sometimes I behaved as such to his dismay. A side of who I was that my children will never come to know, but I bear the scars of even that foolishness with pride. The collection of mistakes I have made in my lifetime resulted in the product of who I am today and while my children may never truly understand who I am, I hope that they may be able to parse through the shadows of their own mixed memories of they're childhoods and see... why I am.
I suppose age leads to a broad scope of reminiscent possibility and I put quill to page in hopes of capturing pieces of memory. Both for myself and my children and perhaps someday my grandchildren. So on and so forth. As the years go by, I have a better understanding of both my father's lessons and who Calvino Velenosa was and through that clarity I can now acknowledge portions of my decisions in this life that I have rejected. I understand why he did not intervene and prevent consequence when I made mistakes. I understand why he kept a sea of distance between us even when we stood side by side. I suppose that is a singular boon of mortal decay. With each year that passes and life slips through our fingertips we have a broader collection of experience to look back on. We see through a lens of retrospect. We reminisce. We dissect. We remember.
It wasn't until the last decade that I thought much of how I am to be remembered. It has never held value to me. Now, in the late night hours of the evening I wonder on it. There has only ever been one who might have held the memory of who I truly am in high regard, but she has long since passed on. With the more recent transition of dogma surrounding death it has left me conflicted. I had once dreamed of joining her in Elysia. Now I worry she will not be there waiting for me, nor even in the Shining Lands. That perhaps she has already moved on to another life? That she has been deemed worthy of another turn on the Wheel. She deserves such a chance. She bore the scars of my mistakes as well, always with head held high.
I suppose age leads to a broad scope of reminiscent possibility and I put quill to page in hopes of capturing pieces of memory. Both for myself and my children and perhaps someday my grandchildren. So on and so forth. As the years go by, I have a better understanding of both my father's lessons and who Calvino Velenosa was and through that clarity I can now acknowledge portions of my decisions in this life that I have rejected. I understand why he did not intervene and prevent consequence when I made mistakes. I understand why he kept a sea of distance between us even when we stood side by side. I suppose that is a singular boon of mortal decay. With each year that passes and life slips through our fingertips we have a broader collection of experience to look back on. We see through a lens of retrospect. We reminisce. We dissect. We remember.
It wasn't until the last decade that I thought much of how I am to be remembered. It has never held value to me. Now, in the late night hours of the evening I wonder on it. There has only ever been one who might have held the memory of who I truly am in high regard, but she has long since passed on. With the more recent transition of dogma surrounding death it has left me conflicted. I had once dreamed of joining her in Elysia. Now I worry she will not be there waiting for me, nor even in the Shining Lands. That perhaps she has already moved on to another life? That she has been deemed worthy of another turn on the Wheel. She deserves such a chance. She bore the scars of my mistakes as well, always with head held high.
Written By Arman
April 17, 2019, 3:49 p.m.(12/10/1010 AR)
Proclaiming to the entirety of Arx -- and by extension the world beyond -- that a minor (or even moderate) slight took place is not an appropriate way to utilize overworked heralds. Nor is replying to the original offender in the same fashion in order to insert a "last word."
Written By Arman
April 13, 2019, 10:28 a.m.(12/1/1010 AR)
If I was caught in my own web of machinations and failed to cheat at a game, I don't think I would create a secondary game identical in spirit to the first unless I had full intent to cheat again.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.